by Lex Martin
I dream about Gavin and that as we’re tangled together he tells me he loves me.
Best dream ever.
- 18 -
Daylight breaks through my window when I wake. Gavin is draped over me, his face peaceful and relaxed. Nuzzling against him, I inhale his scent. I could stay wrapped up in his arms all day.
“Morning,” he says groggily.
“Hi. Did you sleep okay?” Considering we’re crammed into my narrow bed, I’m hoping he wasn’t miserable last night.
“Hell, yes, I slept well.” He chuckles and peeks under the covers before he lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “Feel free to wake me up half naked any day.”
I elbow him, and he laughs.
“Do you have to go to work?” he asks.
“Not ’til noon.”
My phone rings in my purse, which is by the bed, so I reach over him and grab it. The call is from an unknown number, and when I pick up, no one responds.
“Weird.”
“What is it?” Gavin strokes my back.
“This is the third or fourth hangup I’ve gotten from an unknown caller in the last couple of days.” I shake it off. “It’s probably nothing.”
I shiver in the cold room, and he wraps his arms around me.
“Want to grab breakfast?” Morning Gavin has the sexiest voice.
I smile. I’ve heard so many stories of guys who race for the door after they’re intimate with a girl. I love that Gavin isn’t like that.
“Sure. I’m gonna jump in the shower first.”
He groans at me. “Not yet. I’m not ready to let go of you.” He wraps himself around me. His hand trails up my waist, making me squirm. “You’re ticklish?”
“Maybe. A little. But don’t tell anyone.”
“I’m learning all kinds of things about you this weekend,” he teases.
I cover my face, embarrassed by the sheer number of things to which he could be referring.
He whispers, “You’re so damn adorable, I want to bite you.” When I peek over at him, his eyes are closed, a smile teasing his lips.
In the light of day, he’s even more stunning. Light stubble covers his face, and when he glances at me through those long lashes, I have to bite my lip to stop from grinning. I push him off me so that he’s on his back, and I cross my arms over his chest, peering down at him because I want to soak him in. I rest my chin on my arms as he plays with a long strand of my hair. Simply having our naked chests pressed together is almost indecently intimate. And maybe that gives me a certain kind of courage.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask hesitantly. His eyebrows perk up. “Have you… have you been with many women?”
His lighthearted demeanor shifts into something more serious as he studies my face. “Uh, not that many. No. Have you?”
“Been with many women? No. Not many,” I joke.
He laughs a little, pressing his palms to his eyes. “I really didn’t need new material to fantasize about you.”
“You… you fantasize about me?”
He drops his hands and grins at me. “Have you seen yourself lately?”
I look away, embarrassed, and holy hell, flattered. I try hard to focus on my point. “The reason I asked about the women is because—”
“Because we’re dating and you have a right to know.” He brushes hair out of my face.
“Yes, that, but you’re…” You’re good with my girlie parts and something about that makes me nervous. “You have some skill with those hands, not that I have all this firsthand experience for comparison, because I don’t. Not really.” Why the fuck am I telling him this? I have no idea. Something about Gavin makes me say things that normally would never come out of my mouth.
“What do you mean you have no experience? Are you saying nobody has ever…”
“I mean, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with one guy, and it wasn’t Daren. Actually, I never got close to letting Daren get in my pants,” I say as I run my finger along his chest. “I think I never really trusted him, and I guess I had good reason not to in retrospect.” I could get lost in the ridges of muscle on Gavin’s chest. “The second guy was only one night the summer after high school, and the experience definitely was not memorable. So to answer your question, no, no one has ever… gotten me there.”
He watches me as he reaches up and slowly strokes my cheek.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I laid that all on you,” I say, frowning.
He threads his fingers through my hair. “No, I want to know about you, about your past. You usually seem like you don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pressure you.”
I’m tired of being so closed off. It hasn’t made me any stronger or braver. It hasn’t imparted any wisdom or comfort. It’s just made me lonely.
I take a deep breath and narrow my eyes at him playfully. “What do you want to know? If you tell me how many girls you’ve been with, you can ask me anything.”
He grins. “A quid pro quo? Okay, I’m game. Um, let me think about it.” He starts silently counting on one hand and then the other and back and forth again as my eyes get bigger. Then he looks at me and laughs. “Kidding.”
“Shit, you scared me.” I let out a sigh of relief.
“Like seven or eight.” He caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “My turn.”
I nod, bracing myself for what he might ask.
“Why the one-night stand? Most guys would kill to be with you.” His voice is soft and without judgment.
Biting my lip, I think about it. “I didn’t like the power it had over me. I wanted to get it over with. Daren acted like it was this huge thing that I wouldn’t sleep with him when girls were lining up behind me, and honestly, I wasn’t opposed to the act itself. I don’t think of myself as a prude, but for me it was more about being that vulnerable with someone.” I rest my chin on my arms as I trace his collarbone with my thumb. “I didn’t like feeling that Daren could use it against me, and I never wanted a man to be able to do that to me again. In the end, I thought it was easier to have faceless sex than to be vulnerable with someone who could hurt me.”
Surprisingly, I’m not embarrassed that I shared this bit of my history with him.
His hands gently run along my arms and back. “I didn’t think you were a virgin.”
“Most people assume I am because I never date.”
“It’s the way you look at guys. Girls with no experience either look afraid or eager. You looked disgusted.”
I laugh, wrapping my arms around him so I can lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It’s slow and steady, a rhythm that’s strangely soothing. After a few minutes, I think of my next question. “Who was your first?”
“My little sister’s babysitter, Rachel. I was fifteen, almost sixteen, and she was seventeen.”
“Hmm. An older woman. Very daring.”
“I’m sure I was anything but daring,” he laughs.
I raise my head and look down at him. “If she could only see you now,” I say suggestively. “Any of those girls serious?”
“No fair. It’s my turn,” he says, flipping me onto my back, making me laugh. He wraps his arms around my waist, pressing me tightly to him. “But I’ll answer your question. I had a serious girlfriend in high school, but she went to UCLA, so we broke up, and I dated a couple girls in college, but they didn’t work out.”
“What happened with Angelique?”
He leans down and kisses my neck. “Being with her was empty,” he says as he continues migrating south. “She’s smart and beautiful but cold.”
I tangle my hand through his hair, and as things start getting interesting, someone knocks on my door.
“Clem?” It’s Jenna.
“Go away. I’m naked,” I yell, making Gavin chuckle.
“You have a delivery. Get your ass out here.”
He groans but rolls off me. I sit up, wondering how to cover myself without taking the entire comforter with m
e. Of course, this is ridiculous as Gavin has already seen me topless. I start to crawl over him, but he pulls me down on top of him.
“You are one fucking hot girl, Clementine,” he says, smacking my rear. “I’ve never enjoyed baseball that much before.”
I grin like a lunatic. “Not bad for an in-field triple, huh?”
“And my girl knows her bases. Stop trying to turn me on.”
I laugh as I slink out of his grasp. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I brace myself to walk across the room clad in only underwear. Screw it. I’m a modern woman. What’s the big deal? I get up, fully aware that his eyes are boring a hole through me, and I grab a black t-shirt out of my dresser and slip it on before I head out into the living room, closing the door behind me. Jenna and Harper are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, and there, on the end table, is the most amazing bouquet of white roses I’ve ever seen.
“You must have done something right last night,” Jenna says provocatively.
They’re gorgeous. I lean over to smell them.
“Read the note,” Harper says, pointing to a small pink envelope peeking out behind a flower.
I pull the card out from the holder. It says, Perfect roses for a perfect girl. Love, Gavin. Emotion catches in my throat, and I almost want to cry.
“It’s gotta be good. Look at her expression,” Jenna whispers to Harper.
Swallowing hard, I hand them the card. They read it, and Jenna starts squealing. I swear she’s worse than any teenager when it comes to this sort of thing. “Holy shit, Clem!”
I start to shush her when Gavin strolls out. He’s dressed, but his hair looks like I just bedded him. Oh my lord. The mere sight of this man makes me want to lock him in my room for another go.
“Ladies,” he says, walking over and wrapping his arms around me.
Harper and Jenna look at each other and grin.
“Morning, handsome,” Jenna says in a bedroom voice that makes me laugh. “Didn’t know you guys were having a slumber party.”
“Baseball, we were playing baseball,” he says as he kisses my temple.
Gavin stands in my doorway, and I lean up and kiss him despite the fact that my two roommates are sitting behind us, watching our every move.
“Thanks for the flowers.” I reach up and grab both sides of his jacket. His eyes are so expressive and filled with the same emotions that seem to be pulsing through my veins. “I’ve never gotten flowers before,” I whisper.
“I remember.” He places a small kiss on my lips.
“When did you send them? You couldn’t have done it this morning.”
“Yesterday afternoon.” The corner of his mouth tilts up.
“How did you know we’d have a good date?” Oh, God, I hope I wasn’t a foregone conclusion. But I don’t think that’s what the flowers were for. After all, he was the one with his hands in his pockets when we reached my front door.
Leaning down, he whispers in my ear, “I wanted you to have them, no matter what happened last night.”
My brief bout of anxiety dissipates with those words, and I can’t contain my grin. “You need to be careful or you’ll spoil me.”
“I fully intend to spoil you,” he says, kissing me once more before he leaves. “See you in a bit.”
We both want a shower before breakfast, so he’s heading home to clean up. When I close my front door, I lean back on it and sigh that deep release a girl can only have after an amazing first date.
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t cancel last night?” Harper asks as she smells my bouquet.
“Can I just say that my boyfriend is dangerously talented in the bedroom?”
Jenna, whose eyebrows dart up when she hears that word, starts freaking out again. “Oh my God! Oh my God! I want details!”
“I need a shower, girls. I am all kinds of dirty right now, and I don’t want to be late for breakfast.” I duck into my bedroom to grab a change of clothes despite Jenna’s protests that I dish. When I get in the bathroom and look in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself. My hair looks windblown, my cheeks are pink, and I look wildly contented despite the mild throb down there that started when we were rolling around in bed this morning.
Standing under the hot water, I think about what he said, that he fantasizes about me, and that throb grows. I’m not really one for self-service—I’ve only done it a couple of times, mostly out of curiosity—but Gavin has flipped a switch in me, and I can’t go back. I don’t think I want to go back even if I could.
I want him, now, and since he’s not here, the memory of him is probably not a bad way to go about this.
Closing my eyes, I think of him—the way his hands caress me, the way his lips brush against mine, the way every part of him is hard muscle—and I let my hands roam my body. As they trail down my wet stomach, my breathing picks up, and when I reach between my legs, I try to imitate what Gavin did to me and place small, slow circles along my sensitive skin. After a few minutes, I have to brace myself against the wall of the shower because it’s so intense.
When I’m done, I’m panting and lightheaded and laughing to myself, hoping my roommates can’t hear me. Why haven’t I ever enjoyed it like this before? Because, holy shit, this is awesome!
I beat him to the cafe, so I grab a window seat facing the dorms and order two coffees, which are being delivered when Gavin walks in, and oh, what a beautiful creature he is. He’s wearing a fitted black t-shirt, a hoodie and jeans, and it may only be typical college-guy attire, but I’ve never seen anything more enticing. How I was not immediately smitten by Gavin Murphy is still a mystery. Apparently, his looks are no secret as several girls turn to admire him when he arrives.
“Hey, babe,” he says as he leans in to kiss me.
I’m giddy from his small show of endearment and feeling a little stupid that I’ve become a hearts-and-flowers girl overnight. Being with him makes me want to kiss nonstop, and I could give a shit who sees. I snicker to myself.
He tilts his head, curiosity in his eyes. Shrugging, I smile back. “It’s nothing,” I say, wanting to change the subject before he gets me to confess I could take him on the table if amply prodded.
“Some of the guys from the dorm are joining me in a while. We have to plan activities for the freshmen,” he says, checking the time on his phone. “But we have time to eat first.”
“No problem. I have to get to work soon. What kind of things do you need to plan?”
“Sightseeing tours, because so many students are from out-of-state, and a Halloween party.”
“That doesn’t sound too painful.”
“No, that’s not too bad. It’s working out our schedules that’s a pain in the ass.”
“What do you mean? The schedules aren’t already made for you?” I tear open a sugar packet and toss the contents into my mug.
“They are, but we can change them among ourselves—swap days, floors, that sort of thing.”
“Swap floors?”
“We have a couple of RAs from our building we can swap with in case of an emergency. We do group outings and social events together, so the freshmen get to know us. My buddy Mark and I have swapped floors a few times when I had a gig with Ryan or a last-minute article I had to write.”
“That’s so different from my job. If anyone switched schedules, I’d skewer them.”
“You’re in charge of that?”
“My manager is supposed to do it, but he gives me the honors because the students know how pissed I get if they back out.”
“So you’re the enforcer?”
“Something like that.” I laugh at how tough that sounds. “I’m anything but that, but I probably talk a good show.”
“You only seem like a badass then.”
“I don’t know that I would go that far.” I look up, and he’s staring so intensely at me, I blush. “Gavin, stop.”
He chuckles. “What? I can’t look?” He lowers his voice. “I can’t think about you. Naked. Beneath me.”
&nbs
p; I gasp, “Gavin!” and cover my eyes.
He laughs and reaches over to lace his fingers through mine.
“Besides, I wasn’t entirely naked,” I whisper, mortified.
He flashes a devilish grin. “You were in my head.”
I’m trying not to let my jaw linger on the table when we’re interrupted by our waiter who takes our order. I get some fruit and a small omelet, and he gets pancakes. When our food arrives, I smile as I watch him pour the syrup over the perfect squares he’s cut into his food.
“Want a bite?” he asks as he holds out a forkful.
“No, thanks.” I shake my head. “Boys and their pancakes.”
“Hmm?”
“My brother loves pancakes. I used to make them for him every Sunday when we were growing up.”
Gavin takes a sip of his coffee, looking like he wants to ask me something.
“What?” I take a bite of my omelet, curious about what he’s thinking.
“Have you talked to your brother since he came over?”
I stop chewing. I did tell him he could ask anything. This is what normal people do, right? Share things about themselves. Except for you because you have the emotional capacity of a garden gnome.
Fighting the slight twisting sensation in my stomach, I clear my throat. “No, I haven’t. I probably should. I know he was being thoughtful by bringing that box over. That’s saying a lot about him. Jax is all about Jax, so him taking time to do that shouldn’t turn me into a raving lunatic or he’ll never want to do anything nice for me again.”
It’s only now that I’m actually opening up to someone other than Harper and Jenna that I realize how much I’ve locked away.
Gavin reaches over and strokes my hand. “Don’t say that about yourself. You had a right to be upset.”
“Anyway, I need to drag my butt out to BC to catch a few of his games, but they’re always at the oddest times, like on a Tuesday at four. I think he has a game on Saturday, though. I’m gonna try to go. I can usually get one of my roommates to come ’cause they love ogling my brother,” I say, rolling my eyes.
As we’re finishing up our meal, a group of guys comes in, and Gavin gets up to greet them. I stand next to him as he goes around, introducing me to his fellow RAs. I meet his friend Mark, who is tall and handsome like Gavin, but not nearly as striking, and Jeremy, who is cute in a nerdy Weezer kind of way. After meeting two more guys, I realize I won’t remember any of their names, so I stop trying to keep track. Gavin is all smiles until something catches his eye, making his eyebrows pinch. I turn to see what he’s looking at.