by Gale Borger
"Alright, alright–I'm convinced. I'll admit I'd love to go, but I can't just drop everything and take off for the States. The only things I have with me are field clothes and dead fish."
"You got vacation time coming?"
"Yeah."
"You got money in the bank?"
"Too much."
"Figures. I know your passport is in order."
"Of course it is, but Tony…"
"But Tony, my butt! I'll even pack for you."
"Hold on a minute; don't you dare touch my underwear! Brother or no brother, I'll beat the crap out of you if you mess with my stuff. That itching powder episode still gives me nightmares."
"Aww, c'mon, big brother, can't take a joke? That was years ago."
"Seems like last week. Besides, how the hell do you know what to pack, anyway?"
Tony laughed. "Do you own anything but field clothes, blue jeans, and polo shirts?"
Evo thought a minute. "Uh, no."
"There you have it. I also hear there is a Gander Mountain real close to Fred Miller's house. The original store was built about four miles from White Bass Lake. I can pack light and you can shop there. How cool would that be?"
"Tony, you're an ass, but a convincing ass. I think I'm going to the States on Friday. What the hell; go ahead and throw some stuff in the suitcase under my bed. I have a pre-packed hygiene case in the bathroom cabinet, but I mean it; stay out of my drawers–literally! I'll buy what I need in Wisconsin. I don't want to take a chance you'll somehow sabotage my underwear and I'll end up in some American hospital with raw balls. I'm sure they sell underwear and socks somewhere up there."
"Got it, but you hurt my feelings." Tony heard Evo snort and ignored him. "I'll call your secretary and take care of all the preparations. You just show up at my place on Friday."
"Will do. My credit cards are in my safe; I'll need those too."
"You trust me with your credit cards, but not your underwear?"
"My credit cards won't give my genitals a wasting disease."
"Aww, come on. It wasn't that bad."
"Yes it was, and I still haven't forgiven you."
"You're a hard man, Evo."
"I thought I'd never be hard again after that last fiasco."
There was a short silence on Tony's end. "No kidding? Geez, I'm sorry, Evo maybe I went a little overboard in the itching powder department. You really rotted off your winkie? I mean, the flag flies at half-staff?" He chuckled and Evo rolled his eyes. There was no stopping Tony once he was on a roll.
"The little soldier stayed at parade rest?"
"Tony…"
"The old peter putzed?" He chuckled harder.
"I'm not kidding, Tony."
"The willy nillied?" Tony guffawed.
"Tony!"
"Uh, oops. Sorry, Evo. What were we talking about?"
"Retrieving my credit cards from the safe."
"Oh, right. What's the combination?"
"The combination is Great Aunt Sophie's birthday."
There was silence on the other end. "Sophie's birthday? Why ever did you pick that?"
Evo was glad no one but the dead fish were around to witness his embarrassment. "It's the only six numbers in a row I ever remember. I had to remember that date under the threat of death. To miss that old woman's birthday is to poke a sleeping crocodile with a sharp stick–you get your head bitten off by three generations of female members of the family."
Tony hooted. "Evo, you kill me. It has been too long, my brother, I cannot wait until Friday. If you get in early, call me."
"Okay. Hey, Tony, one more thing. Luis knows about the site. Maybe we should keep him and his brother close. While I'm gone they have no work anyway–I'd bet they'd love a trip to the States. Put their tickets on one of my credit cards. We'll put them up in a hotel or something and we'll show them a good time up north."
Evo turned and shouted to Luis, "Hey, you and Alfredo got any special plans for the next week or two?"
"No, Señor Evo," Luis called back. "We go where you go."
"Good, because I'm going to the United States, and you and your brother are coming with me."
Luis stared at Evo, and with childlike wonder said, "Disney World?"
Evo cringed. "Maybe, we'll have to see, but we'll be near Chicago."
Luis did a little wiggle. "Woo-hoo. Chicago Cubs. Chicago style hot dogs. Blackhawks. Bulls. White Sox. Chicago style pizza. Chicago style football... Da Bears!" Luis sucked in a breath and looked at the cloudy sky. He closed his eyes, smiled, folded his hands as if in prayer, and said reverently, "Snow."
Evo shook his head and chuckled. He turned back to his phone. "Looks like we have traveling companions, bro. Luis wants to see Mickey Mouse and snow."
Tony said, "Yeah, I heard him. Snow, hmmm. I never thought of that. Alfredo once told me they signed on with you because they wanted adventure. Well, I guess they are about to have an adventure, alright. Do they have snow in Wisconsin this time of year?"
"I don't know. I'm more concerned with protecting the brothers from media attention and whoever might have shot at us."
"Right you are. This could become sticky if word gets out, and depending on what you find, it could become dangerous. I'll take care of the travel details, and have everything ready. You take care, big brother. No Superman stuff, hear?"
"You got it, little brother; bye for now."
"Bye, Evo, be careful, and be safe."
"Hey, Tony, just one more thing; I mean it–keep your fingers off my underwear."
Evo could still hear Tony laughing as he hung up his phone.
3
Tony hung up the phone and leaned on the back of his couch. He had his work cut out for him. Where he didn't quite lie, he did exaggerate a little. Tony picked up the phone again and called his work. He told them he would be out of country with his brother for a couple of weeks. He called Evo's secretary, Elena, and told her the same thing and asked if she could swing some time off for Evo. She put him on hold while she checked her computer and assured him she could clear Evo's schedule for almost three weeks. Tony practically jumped up and down until she made him promise that Evo would get his ulcer looked at while on vacation.
That made Tony stop. Ulcer? Big brother-solid-as-a-rock-Evo has an ulcer? Good thing Tony was sitting down. Getting Evo away from work sounded more and more like a good idea. Evo shouldn't be working for the enemy anyway. Why he did escaped Tony and made Dr. Sam crazy. It couldn't be the money. Hell, Evo already had four more dollars than God did. He never took time off so he didn't spend what he made; let alone what he'd inherited. He busts his ass for some millionaire who could give a shit, and now he's making himself sick. Idiot.
"Looks like it's time for Almost-Doctor Antonio Enrique Moronez-Castillo to step in and save the day. Maybe I can marry him off to some beautiful, outdoorsy American woman–Wait! Maybe I can marry him off to Dr. Sam. Would that not be poetic justice? Then Evo could settle down and earn his ulcers the old fashion way; with a wife, ten kids, a hundred fish tanks, and a dog."
Tony was beyond excited as he pushed off the back of the couch and practically skipped down the hall to his office. His towel dropped somewhere along the way, but by the time he realized it, he had procured a private plane to Milwaukee, rented an SUV (who knew what kind of bad highway led to the wilds of Wisconsin?), and had MapQuested directions from Mitchell Field Airport to White Bass Lake, Wisconsin.
While his directions printed, he ran to his bedroom and pulled on a pair of ratty looking shorts. Good thing money was no object, he thought, as he rummaged through his closet for a suitcase. They would buy what they needed for Luis and Alfredo in Wisconsin. The brothers would probably get a kick out of an American wardrobe for their first American vacation, anyway.
The following day Tony took care of the money and passports. The first thing he did when he arrived at Evo's apartment was snoop through his underwear drawer. He thought about messing it up, or stealing all the underwear
, but figured Evo would expect something like that. Instead, Tony stopped at a woman's wear store, bought some pink ladies' underwear, and stashed them in Evo's suitcase. He packed in less than ten minutes, knowing Evo would end up buying a couple of suitcases in the States to accommodate what he bought at the outfitter stores anyway.
Proud of his subtle revenge on his brother, Tony had dinner in town, visited their mother and told her of their plans, and rolled back into his own apartment about suppertime. He made motel reservations online with Evo's credit cards, and used them to pay for the plane and the car. He made himself a peanut butter and banana sandwich and went over his notes. When he finally went to bed, he felt good; everything was falling into place. He felt even better after having spent Evo's money doing it.
Friday morning came and Tony decided he'd procrastinated long enough.
He grabbed his cell phone and looked up Dr. Fernandini's private cell number. As he dialed, he tried to remember what time it would be in Wisconsin.
Surprisingly, she answered her cell, her voice sounding tense. "Antonio, what is wrong?"
She must have Caller Id. "Nothing, Dr. Sam, I just wanted to call and ask if the offer still stood to show me a person with their head made of cheese." He chuckled to himself and waited for the answer he knew would come.
"Oh, Antonio, a Cheesehead, not a head made of cheese. Of course, of course. Please come to Wisconsin; I would love for you to meet my friends. And call me Sami or Sam. I'm on vacation and only people from our work use formal titles."
"My brother would cringe if he heard anyone call you a man's name."
Tony could almost feel the chill. "Antonio, I do not particularly care what your egotistical, trade-principals-for-money of a brother thinks; he could jump off a cliff and I would cheer. Ooo–just thinking about that man makes me mad!"
Tony took a breath and held it. "Oh, oh. Does that mean he's not invited too? I kind of already told him we were both going. That's okay though, we can go to New York, or Disney World, or somewhere else."
Let her mull that over a bit. Then at the right moment I will say, "It's just that Evo is uh, let's just say he's not one hundred percent, Dr. S. Uh, his doctors say…that is…uh, I need to get him away for a while before…"
He heard a sharp intake of breath. "Oh, my God, Tony, what is it? Is it serious? I am so sorry. What can I do? By all means bring him with you–will his doctor okay him for travel? Is Wisconsin's climate good for him? Perhaps you're right and it is time we put aside our differences."
Tony chuckled to himself. Okay, T-Man, time to check out the waters. Bait the hook and dangle it in front of her. "Maybe it is, Dr. S. You know, Evo always says how he would love to get to know you better."
She sounded skeptical. "Hmm, he does? Tell me, Tony, does he also call all his friends derogatory names, or am I just special?"
"Oops, you heard that, did you?"
"Which one, Damn Sam, Fernameanie, Fern's a dingy, or my personal favorite, the crude but clever, Bitchthyologist?"
Good job, Tony, you lost that one. Re-bait the hook and try again. "That Evo, ha, ha, is always joking around. Hey, I just thought it would be a cool thing if he could tell you in person about his latest discovery. He has already tried to contact you. He wanted you to be the first to know. There really is much more to Evo than you think, Dr. S."
Silence met the bombshell. "I'll give her five seconds before….three, two, one..."
Sam blurted, "What discovery? Come on, Tony, what did Evo find?"
Gotcha, Doc; hook, line, and sinker! Reel her in gently, now, Tony, old boy. "Evo's up near Peninsula de Paria in Venezuela and found a small lagoon full of Endler Live Bearers."
Silence. "Endlers did you say? Impossible. You are joking! Don't tease me about stuff like that, Tony. Is he sure they're not guppies or something else?"
"You may not like him, Sam, but don't insult him. If Evo said he found Endlers, he found Endlers. The problem is, however…"
Tony heard someone squeal in a definite American accent, "Wild Endlers? Send me some! Bring some with you. Don't tell anyone. Who's on the phone, Sam; is it that cute guy who works with you, or the devastatingly handsome asshole brother?"
Sam groaned and Tony chuckled. "I bet I'm the cute guy and not the handsome asshole. Does this mean you are sufficiently humiliated so I can now blackmail you into letting me bring Evo?"
Tony could imagine Sam biting her lower lip and bouncing on the balls of her feet. He heard her sigh. "I am resigned to my fate. God is punishing me by ruining my first vacation in four years. Yes, yes, bring him if you must, but tell him to leave his corporate ego and his sarcasm in Peru. It is the only way I can tolerate him."
Tony grinned. "I'll tell him you can't wait to see him."
"You do, and they will never find your bleaching bones."
"You got yourself a deal, Doc, and don't worry about Evo. I think he has a secret crush on you. He's a different guy away from work, you'll see."
"Antonio, I have never known you to be so irreverent and underhanded."
"There's a lot you don't know, Doc, but you'll find out soon enough; and please call me Tony. I'm on vacation."
Tony hung up the phone and let out a cowboy, "Ya-hoo." He was happier than he'd been in months. Funny how he'd never thought about Evo and Dr. S as a couple before, probably because they fought like two male bettas in the same tank. Hah–fish joke. Why didn't he think of it before? Sam and Evo will be perfect together. He loved the heck out of them both, but they were so damn stubborn they would never find each other without some very devious planning. He would have to be careful because they were also wicked smart, and they would kill him if they discovered him plotting against them, or for them–whatever, a great idea is a great idea.
Tony also wondered about these Americans. Would Sam's friend conspire with him to get those two together? With a name like Fred, she had to see whimsy in life. He would charm her into helping. He could turn on the charm and the backwoods American girl would help him commit murder if he so chose. He would make her see how perfect Evo and Sam are for each other.
Tony whistled the Wedding March as he threw more clothes into a suitcase. He stopped in mid-whistle and realized he had not told Dr. S that the Endlers Evo found were dead and he neglected to tell her they were coming in tomorrow night. He zipped the suitcase and smiled. She'd find out soon enough.
4
After Evo hung up from Tony, he and Luis picked up their machetes. Evo thought it would be best to send Luis back to the truck with the samples they had collected. He called Alfredo to make sure he was still back at the starting point and told him to expect his brother and make a loud scene when he arrived at the drilling site. Since Evo would arrive first and didn't want to alert anyone of his presence, he continued alone on foot. The brothers would give Evo two hours before heading to the front gates of Oil Well Site 151. Evo figured that would give him enough time to look around the backside of things before anyone discovered he was investigating the site.
Evo circled the lagoon and made his way down an animal trail toward a local village. The smell of rotting flesh pervaded the air as he neared the village. Tying a bandana around the lower half of his face, he retrieved his handgun and cautiously entered a clearing at the gates to the village. Evo noticed a small enclosure with three dead goats inside. No wonder it smells. He stepped around a dead chicken and neared the goat pen. The goat feed lay on the ground untouched, and the water trough was about half-full. Putting on plastic gloves, Evo took samples of the water and feed, packing them away for testing later.
Tire tracks cut deeply into the mud, but he saw no vehicles. Evo called out but no one answered. The small gathering of crude structures stood sad and silent in the morning heat.
"How the hell can I interview the locals if there are none?" He eyed the trail behind him, the grass on both sides flattened in the direction of the lagoon. He made a note in his spiral notebook, took pictures, and continued on.
A f
eeling of dread weighed heavily on his shoulders as he walked past the empty huts. Had Nunez crossed the line of business ethics and contaminated the food or water supplies to this village? If the lagoon poisoned the fish, could the villagers have given that same water to their livestock, or God forbid, their children?
Evo put away the notebook and pulled out his recorder. Beginning again, he documented his movements and observations as he searched the deserted village. He took pictures and gathered more samples. He rounded the last building on the street, the church, and stopped dead. Rows of freshly mounded gravesites lined the western side of the graveyard. Evo counted thirty-five in all. Many were small, and Evo's ulcer burned with the knowledge that many children had died here recently.
Evo swallowed the bile in his throat, took more pictures, and stepped to get a better look at the markers. He noted that the majority of the birth dates ranged from 1920 through 1933, and again from 2000-2011. "The children and the elderly," he murmured. "The most susceptible age groups for death by disease, and the first to succumb to ingested toxins."
Evo popped a few more antacids and turned from the graveyard. He headed out of the village toward Site 151. He stopped in the middle of the street. Turning back, he went into the church and knelt near the altar, saying a prayer for the dead. Standing, Evo stared up at the cross, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Turning abruptly, Evo marched out of the church, and out of the village.
"Children, elderly, and the livestock," he muttered as he passed the dead chickens and goats. "Flattened ground and dead fish." He took the time to record more notes before he continued on toward the drilling site. A faint trail made by the villagers made the walk down the mountain easier. By the look of the encroaching jungle, Evo estimated that no humans had passed this way for about two weeks. In another few days this trail would be obliterated by jungle vegetation.
Evo glanced at his watch, startled to find he'd spent a couple hours in the village. The light from the sun barely appeared over the horizon and he was not yet at Site 151. He trotted another twenty minutes down the mountain before he reached the site.