“Who?”
“Never mind,” he said.
“I feel … sleepy.”
I thought Tal’s voice grew smaller, farther away, and the sound of Bendo’s bleats multiplied, as they faded too. I reached for Tal and felt him close, though it looked as if he was on the other side of the shanty. He glowed in the blue light that shone through the lattice.
“Where will we …” I asked with barely a voice.
He hushed me and told me I was safe with him. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I tried to watch Tal as he rummaged in the cupboards of my shanty, putting things into a sack and then taking things out. He kept looking over at me but then I fell away and everything went dark.
I saw a bright spark in the blackness, and then another, and another, and then ten and one hundred and then thousands of sparks in the darkness. They weren’t sparks of light, but sparks of life. Living beings—sapients past, present and future—a galaxy of lives revealed itself to me in the darkness and my body sizzled under the pressure of each fire. My cold skin went warm and then hot until it was afire too. My sapient shell melted and burned away, as the underside of my skin turned golden like theirs. I was one of them—I was Kyprian. I clung to my sublimity, even as it slipped away and my coldness returned. My senses tingled first and the tip of my tongue tickled with the taste of sweetness, and when I opened my eyes, a fire raged in front of me.
“Welcome back,” Tal said.
My bed of silks was gone. I lay on the ground and had to wiggle my stiff body awake to sit up.
“Let me help you.” Tal reached out and helped me to sit up, leaning me against a hard surface. My head was swollen and numb and my senses fuzzy. The brightness of the fire pit in front of me made me disoriented and the smell of smoke was strong.
“You felt cold,” he said. “The fire’s to warm you up.”
I looked at Tal sitting across from me. He was on the other side of the fire and I thought he’d reached directly through the flames to help me sit up. He looked different but I couldn’t say how. Perhaps he looked more beautiful than I remembered—and bigger.
“Where am I?”
“You’re safe,” he said.
We were far from the shanties and even farther from the Bathing Temple and its Venusian bathers.
“The outer sands,” he said. “We’re in a cavern on their edge. You’re safe.”
I wondered how I could be safe in the outer sands. “Will I see Minosh?”
He didn’t answer and I wasn’t certain I’d said it aloud.
“How’d I get here?” I’d never been beyond the golden forest or the wheat field behind my garden.
“I carried you.”
I was confused. “But how’d you get here?”
“I walked.”
I thought it was impossible to go past the edge of the fields. No sapient had ever traveled beyond the stalks. Venusian, maybe, but no sapient. “But what about the wall of fire and rings of lava and acidic rains and chasms—”
“El,” he said. “You should rest.”
“How can I rest?” I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice. “How will we survive in the outer sands? What about Bendo? The blood?”
As though crossing through the fire, Tal came forward and sat beside me. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. I melted in that embrace.
“It won’t be long now,” he said. “You are strong.”
“What am I to do?”
I thought he whispered “choose” but I couldn’t be certain.
“The blood,” I said.
“A sacrifice.” I thought of my poor Bendo. The only creature who knew all my secrets. I thought of her alone between the cabbages, the life force bleeding out of her. “Be strong,” Tal said.
“Will Tiro come for me?”
When Tal didn’t answer, I pulled myself from his embrace and looked at his face. He seemed distant, and I wanted to caress his hard cheek, smell his smoky breath. I wanted him to kiss me as he’d done when we were younglings playing a game of secret find.
“You need to eat,” he said.
I didn’t want to eat. My Bendo was gone and I couldn’t stomach the milk of another.
“Was it Tiro?” I asked. “Who killed my goat?”
Tal was silent, as he leaned forward to stir the ashes of the fire with a Venusian stick. I wanted to ask him where he got the rod but felt compelled to press him about my Bendo. “Did Tiro come and ki—”
“Eat.” He held out a small container. I hadn’t seen him prepare it or from where he’d produced the small bowl. “It’s sweet.”
I took the bowl believing it to be milk and grains but it wasn’t. It was a mixture of serum and herbs. Its smell was distinct and I recognized it from the wax flowers in the hall of stones. I thought of Onine—the sweetness of his scent. I brought the cup to my mouth and realized I was uncovered. I wasn’t wearing a veil, just a frock.
“You don’t need the covering,” Tal said, as though reading my mind. He stood up and kicked the soot from the heel of his boot. “Try to sleep again.”
He turned away from me and went back to the other side of the fire—through the flame. I wasn’t sleepy when I first woke but after consuming the serum and herbs I felt my eyes grow heavy again. “Tal …” My tongue was thick.
“Sleep, clay-born goddess.” His voice faded, as my body sank down into the soil of the cavern’s floor.
“Onine …” I could barely speak, as I slipped away and was soon gone.
Minosh visited me in the darkness. She came to me and led me to the Bathing Temple where I saw her as a youngling stirring the baths. She wasn’t alone. Kypria was with her. The beauty of the golden goddess radiated in the steam and lit the Temple like I’d never seen it before. The wax flames rose to meet her, as she held my creator a stick’s length away. Little Minosh leaned over the rim of the tub just as she’d done with the trough in our garden.
“See the gold sediment.” Kypria spoke sapient tongue with elegance and ease. Her voice was familiar but otherworldly too. “Watch the flakes of gold dance for you, tell you their story.”
Minosh leaned in closer and held her veil to keep it from touching the liquid in the bath. Her feet were practically off the Temple floor, as she strained her whole body to see into the pool of gold.
“Be patient,” the goddess said. “It will come.”
I couldn’t see what Minosh saw but I knew when she’d seen it. Her entire body tensed at the sight in the tubs and she recoiled.
“Do not be afraid,” Kypria said. “Your change is still to come, and when it does, you will be ready.”
Minosh turned away from the image in the water and looked up at the goddess and that’s when I no longer recognized my creator. She looked like Kypria. The veil covered her face, but her eyes and her aura reflected the sublimity of the goddess. Minosh was beautiful.
“I have chosen well,” the goddess said. “I will choose you again.”
The vision became muddled and the abyss of sleep obscured the light Kypria and Minosh had shown me. When I regained consciousness, I was certain I’d been transported up and out of my body and back again.
“Did I sleep?” I spoke into the darkness.
Tal was gone and the fire was out. I could smell the smoke and knew it couldn’t have been doused for long. I’d fallen back onto the ground and pushed myself up to lean on the wall. My head was heavy and spun as I sat up. I thought I was going to vomit so I leaned forward onto the cold soil—cold, cold ground.
By my third attempt, I was able to stand and hobbled blindly to find an exit, using the wall of the cavern as my guide. I listened for sounds from the outside, but all was silent. I hoped for light, anything to lead me to Luna’s blue glow. I was frightened but didn’t look for Tal. I just wanted out into the fresh air.
“I’m dreaming,” I said to the darkness. “This isn’t real.”
Then where are you?
I closed my eyes and held my breath for a moment. Mayb
e if I lost consciousness again, I’d wake on my bed of silks. Tal wouldn’t abandon me—not here.
I stumbled over the stony ground, as I made my way to the smallest point of light coming in from the outside. Even if I’d imagined the light, I still reached for it like a root to water. I gave up my hope for Luna and prayed for the eye to be high in the sky. I felt a sudden need to warm my cold skin. As I got closer to the point of light, it got farther away, shrinking to a pinprick and then disappearing altogether. Darkness enveloped me again and I succumbed to it for want of anything else. I fell and landed hard, splitting in two. The last thing I saw was his face—Onine was in the darkness with me.
***
I woke to the eye shining down on me. The dark cavern was gone and I was amidst stalks of wheat. I lay on the ground for a moment, recalling everything. If it was a dream, it was still vivid and I believed it was real. If I could find Tal, if I could meet him at the Bathing Temple, I could ask him. That’s when I realized the eye was up but I wasn’t at the Temple. I wondered if the master had come for me, if I’d escaped my sentence, my dreaded assignment. I wondered if moonscapes had passed since I was in my shanty with Tal, since I’d found Bendo between the cabbages—Bendo! I shot up and ran through the stalks of wheat toward what I thought was my garden.
“Stop, sapient.”
Tiro’s command stopped me and glued me to the spot. His sickening presence greeted me before I felt his stick on the small of my back. He twisted the point, screwing the tip into my flesh. I wanted to shriek, but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. When he finally pulled his stick away, I let out a breath that blew my veil slightly off my face—my veil? I was dressed in a silk covering again. Perhaps it was all a dream.
“You have disappointed me,” he said. “I expected you to wait for me on the stones. Instead I find you traipsing through the wheat field. You cannot escape me so easily, clay-born creature.” He dug his stick into my shoulder and pushed me forward. “Face me.”
I turned but kept my eyes down.
“No, no, no,” he said. “This is unacceptable, sapient. You must greet me with something more now. We are to be united. I am the seed-bearer and you shall be my vessel. I shall know you.” He dragged the point of his stick along the length of my clavicle. “I shall touch all of you.”
He slapped his stick on my shoulder and motioned for me to follow him. I wanted to run in the opposite direction but my legs wouldn’t carry me. I submitted to the fright and kept pace with him, as he led me out of the field away from my garden and up toward the greenhouses on the hill.
“You are too slow,” he said, stopping me mid-stride. “Come.” He pointed to the spot of soil in front of him. “Stand here.” I obeyed and waited for his next command. I didn’t wonder if he was going to touch me with his bare Venusian hand. I couldn’t stomach the fear any longer and forced myself to embrace the end. Just like in the slender tower with the steaming pipes, I wanted to run at him with my entire body and burn us both up—if it was my fate, into the fire I’d happily go.
“Master,” I said. “Why wait? We’re alone here.”
“Hush, foolish sapient,” he said. “This is something to cherish. Now take hold of my stick.”
He held the stick out to me and I grabbed it as close to his glove as I could, thrusting my body forward. He jerked the stick and stepped back. He was frightened too.
“Be careful,” he said. “We cannot touch yet.”
We traveled through the field more quickly, joined together by the rod. With my feet suspended above the ground, he used his momentum to guide me, as he floated over the soil and rushed up the rock face. The jade stone twinkled in the eye’s light, as it hung midway over the horizon behind us. I’d only ever seen the row of greenhouses as lanterns strung along the edge of the range way off in the distance from my shanty—a patch of stars fallen from the sky. As I floated up the steep incline to meet them now, they looked like plates of glass flattened into the rock, impossible for any being to enter. We didn’t stop at the greenhouses though. Tiro dragged me past them and up to the top ledge of the rock. When we reached the peak, he snapped his stick, pulling it back, and my feet touched ground again.
The wind was strongest at the peak and my veil whipped up and away from my face. Tiro said nothing and I waited for the end to come. I thought he’d move closer and perhaps whisper in my ear as he’d done in the slender tower, but he didn’t. It was as if he waited for something or someone. I held my breath for fear of arousing his anger.
“We will wait,” he said.
He swayed slowly where he stood and looked up to the sky.
“Master,” I said. “Who are we waiting for?”
He gave me a smirk and then reached out and yanked off my veil in one quick move, snapping his hand back faster than he’d let it out. He let the veil go and the wind caught it and took it over the edge. My hair came loose without it and I could feel my fair strands obeying the wind.
“They say you are Kyprian.” Tiro spoke in Venusian shrieks. “But I see no resemblance and I will never believe them. You are clay, nothing more. If Midan wants what is inside of you, Midan may have it.”
Nothing he said made sense despite my ability to translate his shrieks. I thought perhaps I’d misunderstood the Venusian tongue.
“Let me touch you,” I said. “Let me show you that you’re right. I’m only clay.”
I didn’t have time to step forward and take his hand as I’d planned. Tiro crouched down and shrieked in agony. He leaned on the rock in front of him and placed his hands flat on its surface. His slender back arched up as though something were pushing it out. His golden skin stretched, as he continued to shriek, and his cries turned to moans, as his body convulsed. When he looked at me, his expression made me feel his pain. “Midan is here,” he said before bursting into a mound of flames, vanishing into a blaze of fire like the one I’d sat in front of in the dark cavern.
As his pyre burned, ash fell to the ground and piled in such a way as to look like it was gathering. The wind picked up on the peak but the ash didn’t scatter. Small sparks rose up from the heap, as the flame lessened, and when the pile began to rustle, I thought I imagined its movement.
“El.” Tal’s voice came through the haze of smoke and I could barely see him on the other side of Tiro’s pile of cinders. “They’re here.”
I can’t explain what happened next and yet everything seemed in slow motion. Tal reached for me, as the stars fell from the sky—that’s what they looked like. Seven, ten, twelve, fifteen meteors dropping to our planet—balls of fire falling from the blue sky onto the gold terrain in the distance. Each one hit with a boom that shook the ground at my feet. I think I fell over but I can’t remember. I couldn’t keep from staring at the balls of fire on the horizon.
I didn’t see Tiro’s ash rise up as another—a scaly thing with a face like Bendo’s. Tal must have grabbed me because all I remember is my retreat from the strange goat-like creature. I sailed through the air looking up at the peak, as I fell farther and farther away. I clung to my savior, breathing in his redolent skin—his smoky sweet smell. The shadow of the beast was the last thing I saw before darkness saved me.
When I opened my eyes, I was stung with the light of the eye. Temporarily blinded, I turned my head to the side and counted several breaths before I looked up again. I could tell I was inside, raised off the ground and pinned on my back. I tried to move but couldn’t. My arms and legs were strapped down and I could only roll my head from side to side. I felt the heat of a Kyprian beside me and I thought it was Onine.
“Onine?” I attempted to speak but only stilted shrieks came out. “Where am I?” Sharp and piercing, I recognized my words in the sounds. I’d lost my ability to speak as a sapient and when the Kyprian beside me responded, I understood. “Watch, my little Pchi.”
“Minosh?”
“Listen, my little Pchi.” I didn’t recognize the voice of the Venusian though I should’ve known it was the healer.
“Learn, my little Pchi.”
The light of the eye brightened and I could only make out shapes. The whiteness blinded me and I couldn’t tell if I’d lost consciousness. I could feel the Kyprian beside me, especially when she reached out and touched my mind. The pinch of pain, like a finger flicked on the forehead, made the contact. Soon vivid images arose, and I saw my planet as it was when Minosh was a youngling. Rich with verdurous nature, deciduous and dark, the soil was alive with the smallest of organisms, the seeds of everything. My view was vast and I imagined the pungent smell of the living dirt—my cold, cold soil. My perspective shifted and the expanse of the planet shrunk to the small plot of land I recognized as my garden. Minosh was there with Bendo. She petted the baby goat’s pelt as I did. Her bleats were small and unfamiliar but the sounds of pleasure.
Minosh ran around her garden, toppling over the grass and falling between rows of lavender—like my dream. She smiled and giggled, as her long black strands danced in the wind. She pushed the hair from her face without a care and when she turned to look in my direction, she waved like she could see me. I wanted to wave back but my arms were too heavy to lift. I tried to speak but nothing came out. I didn’t know she couldn’t see me until she mouthed the words come, Onine, come to me.
Onine stood in her garden as plain as the eye in the sky. I hadn’t seen him approach and he looked different—her reflection, not mine—but I knew it was him. Minosh reached out her hand and I gasped when he took it. She pulled him in and he wrapped his arm around her, holding her in an embrace before leaning down to kiss her on the neck. She blushed and pulled away and led him into our shanty. I couldn’t see inside. As hard as I tried to peek through the open windows, my view was shut out.
I stood on the outside and watched sparks traverse the walls of our little home, as I came into being. My moment of inception was played out in front of me as though I were there to witness it, to see my beginning, my induction into the world of gold—the first offspring of an interspecies union, I am Venusian too.
***
I cannot resist you any longer, my precious sapient. Kypria has sent me to you. I must come for you now. Do not be afraid. I will show you the same compassion you have offered me. I will be gentle with your sapient core, your fragile heart, your loving spirit. I will plant my fire within you and you will feel nothing but the ecstasy of my being. I have waited a lifetime to see you again, to peel away your covering, to know the inside of your clay-born frame. Anticipation has ruled me for too long. Now the time has come and I will suspend you in Venusian desire until my spark is safely planted in you.
El and Onine Page 10