Slowly, I gripped him at the root and took his shaft in my mouth as far as I could, mimicking my research by licking and sucking him, swirling my tongue around his bulbous head and mentally cataloging what made him twitch and pulse. He caressed my hair and our eyes locked when he thrust in between my lips. I hollowed my cheeks, creating a tight circle of pressure around his cock, Ty’s eyebrows arched, his hips jerked forward and his mouth opened in a silent scream. He abruptly withdrew from my mouth in time for his climax to spurt all over his sexy stomach, his whole body trembling with release. We lay together, panting.
“I would have swallowed.” I rested my chin on his chest, wondrously tracing a finger through the fluid on his belly.
“Next time, I’ll take you up on that.” His deep voice sounded almost drugged.
“So, I was an okay student?”
“You’re an A+ everything.” Ty stroked my hair softly. “I’m going to put that blowjob in my memory bank for the long, cold nights on the road without you.”
“Ty!” I swatted at him.
“We taste good.” His lips found mine, our tongues wound together. Kissing Ty after our mouths had brought each other such immense pleasure felt wicked. Addictive.
“We do.” I giggled.
“You’d never seen one in real life, huh?”
“Well, I’ll admit, yours has ruined me for anyone else.”
“Thank God.” Ty snuggled me against him.
We napped until noon, woke up for more sexy time, and lazed nakedly in my bed for a while watching a show on Netflix. Too soon we had to get dressed, clean my sheets and freshen up before my folks got home from work and Ty had to go back to the studio. Throughout our tasks we snuck glances at each other, smiles so big we could barely contain ourselves. After we got dressed and deemed ourselves presentable, we went downstairs to get some food.
After that, nothing and no one would keep our hands, lips, and body parts away from each other. It became almost an obsession to steal away so we could get as naked as possible and figure out what our bodies were capable of. Ty even removed the apartment ban when he was sure his mom wasn’t home. All it took was one look, and I’d literally soak my panties in anticipation of exploring Ty’s lithe, strong body or him finding a new erogenous spot on mine. I’m sure we made everyone around us sick of our PDAs. But we didn’t and couldn’t care.
LTZ was finishing up their recording sessions a week or so before Ty’s birthday, and Carter spent more and more time at the studio, weighing in and helping refine the sound during the editing and mixing stages. With his fame and connections and the buzz LTZ had generated, the band had one more ace-in-the-hole. They signed with a worldwide distribution company to supply their music to all digital platforms and physical stores, without a record label to take a piece of the pie. All the band members were thrilled, but Ty remained stoic, or “cautiously optimistic” as he called it. I knew it was because he didn’t want to get his hopes up just to have them dashed.
On the last night of recording when Ty and the guys were packing up their instruments for the last time, Carter came into the front office where I was waiting, wearing his signature summer outfit of an LTZ T-shirt, cargo shorts, flip-flops and Mariners baseball hat worn backward over his shaggy, long, graying hair.
“Mind if I talk to you for a minute?” Carter casually leaned against the reception desk.
“Of course.” After a couple of months of being around him, I’d gotten over being starstruck at his grunge highness status.
“Zoey, you know Ty needs to focus all of his energy on the band if they are going to make it.” He fiddled with a candy dish but studied me. “What are your plans when they leave?”
“Of course he does. It’s not a problem because I’m heading up to WWU the same day you guys leave.” I was confused that he was asking me something he already knew. “LTZ will be up there in a couple of weeks. I won’t see him until then.”
“Hmm. You’ve had a good summer together?” He continued to look at me intensely.
Still not sure the reason for our talk, I figured that as a father figure to Ty, he needed me to reassure him of my feelings for Ty. “The best. He’s so special, I’m so lucky to have found him. And the band? They are great and so is everyone in it. I’m so excited for them, they really deserve to have the world hear them.”
“Yeah, I think so too.” Carter turned around and pointed out one of his band’s gold records on the wall. “Did Ty ever tell you about Zane’s mom?”
“Um, a little, at your house that night.” Now I was really confused. This was the most Carter had ever spoken to me.
“She and I were a lot like the two of you. Passionately in love, unable to keep our hands off each other.”
I laughed nervously, unsure about where the conversation was going but beginning to worry.
“We were together from the time we were eighteen and then Zane was born a couple of years later. Limelight had its first gold record when he was just about two years old and she wanted—no—demanded that I quit the band, marry her, and get a ‘real’ job. I didn’t, obviously.”
Apparently, he was a bit of a talker.
“The ultimatum never sat well with me, and even though we technically stayed together, I was checked out. I cheated on her. A lot.” Carter’s eyes were almost out of focus, he was so lost in his tale about Zane’s mom. “She was devastated. When Zane was about six, Lianne took him out of state, and I had to fight in court to see him. I lost that battle because of my addictions, which meant I missed out on most of Zane’s childhood. Moral of the story, Zoey? We were just too young. You are too young.”
Carter’s impassioned tone made it clear that that somehow his situation applied to me and Ty. “I’m sorry, Carter. That’s terrible. You have to understand that I’m not Lianne. I’d never do that to Ty.”
“Zoey, I know that. I also know that you guys think that you’re in love, and the way you guys carry on, I guess you are. But I’ve brought in all my connections to set these guys up. It still doesn’t mean squat if they don’t commit and focus on all of the things that they need to do to earn a living as musicians. Sure, they have a better chance than I had because they are going to retain full ownership over their music. But in this day and age? If they don’t make an impact out of the gate, their opportunity will be blown.” Carter leveled a gaze at me.
“Okay, I get all that, but I still don’t understand what you are trying to say to me, Carter.”
“Every one of those guys has worked hard and has a real opportunity to control their own destiny, keep their royalties, achieve a level of success that is really hard to come by in the digital age.”
“I know, Ty has told me all this.”
“I think you’re a great girl.” Carter moved over to where I was sitting and took the chair next to me. “I’ve never seen him happier, which is why this is such a shitty conversation to have. But I’m begging you. He needs to be free and clear. You guys are too young to be tied down.”
“I’ll never stand in his way, Carter.” My lungs felt like they’d turned to ice, I could barely catch my breath. “I love him and will support him in whatever he decides to do, just like he’ll support me while I’m in school.”
“Sweetie, I know you think that. And part of me wishes I didn’t have to spell this out for you. You are strong and smart, and you—pardon me for saying this—are a baby. Ty is your first love, but you’ll have many. Go to school. He’ll go on tour. Give it some space. Then when you reconnect if there is still something between you, I’ll eat my words.” Carter was not asking, he was telling me what I had to do. My confusion and irritation morphed into full panic.
“A few years? We don’t want to be with anyone else, Carter. Sometimes you meet your person when you’re young. Why would you say this?” Tears pooled in my eyes then rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks.
“Ah, darlin,’ I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to give you some sage advice from someone who has been th
ere and lost my first love because of the life I led touring and playing music. The road is hard, it’s lonely, and temptations are too great, you’re apart for so many months, doubt creeps in and you both are so young.”
“So you’re saying that Ty is going to cheat on me just because we happen to be young?” I raged. “That’s not who he is, I don’t believe you.”
“What I’m trying to tell you is that staying with him will hurt him. I know him, he’s not interested in fame or being a rock star, but he loves playing music and LTZ is all he has. The band is playing at your school in a few weeks, it’s all he can talk about.”
“So what? It’s all that I think about too because we’re going to miss each other, Carter.”
“You’re making my point, sweetheart. Young love feels like you’ll die without each other. For a dude like Ty, you and the band are all he has.” Carter gently touched my arm.
“Stop calling me sweetheart, Carter. And stop saying I’m young. I will never do anything to hurt him. To let him down,” I sobbed, yanking my arm away.
“Zoey, by the time we arrive in Bellingham and he sees you, I have no doubt that he’ll rationalize why he needs to quit the band and be with you, which would fucking suck for everyone else,” Carter argued passionately, authoritatively.
“You actually want me to dump him. To hurt him.” I was dumbfounded. “I won’t do that to him, Carter. I love him, we’ve made promises to each other. No.”
“God, Zoey. It’s not forever, it’s just until he can get his priorities in order. Think of it like a hall pass. We need him to at least follow through on this tour. Everyone is concerned—”
“What do you mean, everyone?” I was mortified.
“The guys in the band think he’s too into you. They like you, don’t get me wrong. But they are worried that Ty is too dependent on you. If he quits the band, he will have nothing else to fall back on. At least you have college and a future. Without the band, Ty will be fucked, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime shot,” Carter implored.
“So, what you’re saying is that I need to do it for Ty.” My entire body felt like it was seizing in agony. “This is such bullshit. He trusts me. He trusts you. What you’re asking me to do is horrible.”
“I’m just saying give him the freedom to live the dream he’s had for six years before he met you a couple of months ago. It’s all he’s been working toward since I’ve known him, and I don’t want him to throw it away.” Carter sighed. “Or don’t. I want him to have his shot, get financially stable, and be able to make real choices. I also want to the best for my son, Connor, and Jace. I hoped you would feel the same way.”
“You underestimate him.” I pointed at him, shaking with sorrow. “He would never give up the band or this shot for me.”
“You’re wrong.” He shrugged. “But even if you aren’t, when you’re thousands of miles away from him at school will you be able to handle seeing social media posts with him and beautiful women who will hang all over him? Kissing and mauling him, asking for autographs, flashing their tits? Will you still trust him unconditionally? Oh, I bet you’ll love what the internet trolls who see your picture with Ty have to say. They’ll pick you apart hair by hair. Don’t forget about the groupies who will do and say anything to get into Ty’s pants. He’s twenty-one years old, for Christ’s sake, you can’t expect him to not to fuck up at some point.”
I was crying harder now, unable to speak through my sobs.
Gently, Carter put his hand on my shoulder, “Zoey, you’re a beautiful, smart, and a truly awesome young woman. The kind of girl everyone wishes was their first love. God knows I’m not the guy to give advice. Just think about what I’ve said. You know the old saying, ‘If you love something set it free.’”
“If I did this, Carter, I couldn’t ever face him, you, or the band again. It would break his heart. We’ve made promises. He’s confided in me.” My heart felt like someone was squeezing it with their fist. “I don’t know how I’d live with myself if I hurt him that way.”
How I’d live without him.
“Zoey.” His voice softened, and he tried to comfort me by squeezing my shoulder, “Ty and I are a lot alike—if we didn’t have music, we’d have nothing. We came from nothing, unlike you. He won’t be a good man, a whole man, unless he makes something of himself on his own. Something he can feel proud of. Don’t misunderstand me, I sincerely believe that if you are meant to be, you will find your way back to each other someday. I really do.”
Before I could reply, Ty and the guys came out the side door of the studio. He saw my tear-streaked face and rushed over, pulling me to him. “Butterfly, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I asked Carter for some advice of how to handle you being on the road for so long, and I’m just a big baby,” I tried to reassure him, pasting on a fake smile and wiping my eyes quickly.
“Think about what I said, if it resonates, it resonates.” Carter squinted at me briefly before dashing away to catch up to Zane, Connor, and Jace.
“What did he say, babe? Why are you crying?” Ty used his thumbs to wipe my tears.
“He just said that us being apart would be hard, and gave me some tips for getting through it, no big deal.” I covered my despair with lies.
Unfortunately, Carter’s words were on nonstop loop in my head for days. I was so confused. On one hand, I could see why he believed Ty should be free. It made logical sense if we were characters in a romance novel, but we were real people with real feelings. My heart knew what it knew—that there would be no one else but Ty for me. But was I too young? Carter had a fair point about college, there was so much of life that I hadn’t experienced. Was I being selfish in holding on to Ty? I could never live with myself if I stood in his way.
I stuffed all these feelings down while in front of Ty because I didn’t want him to worry or know that there was something wrong. I decided that it would be a game-day decision, and concentrated on making Ty’s birthday, our last day before tour and college, special. Together, we saved up enough money for us to rent a pretty nice hotel room and have a fancy dinner at a downtown steakhouse.
I dressed up in a stretchy, low-cut, black-lace dress that hit just above my knees with knock-me-down-and-fuck-me black heels that crisscrossed on my ankles. I curled my hair and fluffed it and, using a YouTube tutorial, created a smoky, rocker-chick makeup look. I didn’t wear panties. Ty looked scrumptious in dark-black moto jeans and a gray-striped shirt with his favorite black boots. We sat snuggled together on the same side of the booth. Despite my whirling dervish of a mind, I was able to relax and enjoy an awesome dinner with Ty, who had sneakily worked his finger up my thigh to where my panties would have been.
“Whoa.” His eyes went wide when his finger found my wetness, causing me to squirm.
“I can’t wait to get back to the room, I’m so ready.” I kissed him as he continued to play.
“Yes, you are.” He winked, removing his hand when the waiter approached. After we ordered, I presented him with his birthday gift, a black, braided-leather bracelet with a sterling-silver, heavy-duty clasp, and the initials “T” and “Z” engraved on the side touching his wrist.
“I love it, Z.” Ty kissed me, clearly touched by my gesture. “I will never take this off.”
Once our food arrived, we had little interest in eating and rushed our dinner to get up to the room. In the elevator up to our floor, Ty pressed me against the rail, his knee in between my legs, rubbing me against his jeans while he sucked on my earlobe. As our floor approached, he cupped my face in his hands. A shadow crossed his face.
“I don’t want to go, Z. I don’t want to be without you. I’m not cut out to do this.” Ty confessed.
“Ty, you are. We can. We have to. We will FaceTime every night and will see each other as often as possible.” I squeezed his hands against my face, I wanted him to believe it, so Carter wouldn’t be right.
“No. I’m serious. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I won’t be a
ble to concentrate on anything when I’m gone, am I crazy?” Ty looked pained. “I need you.”
“Babe, I love you so much, but you truly need to do this for yourself. And I have to go to school.” I hoped to be encouraging but I was really pleading.
“I’ll never love anyone but you, butterfly. I hope you know that.” Ty stroked my face. “Nothing means more to me than you. Even the band.”
Those words caused my heart to plummet to the bottom of the elevator shaft.
“Oh Ty.” I leaned into him, holding him tightly. At that moment I knew that Carter was right and what I had to do.
I needed him so much though. If I had to give him up forever, I still wanted Ty to be my first. Selfishly, I felt that I deserved to have at least that. Ty’s lips were suckling the back of my neck, his arms running up and down my hips as I swiped the card key and opened the door. Once we were in our room, I turned around and looked into his trusting, blue eyes and kissed him like it was the last kiss we’d ever have. We had done everything together this summer but the actual deed and making love to him tonight would be my only chance.
Ty ran his hands up and down my hips, hooking his fingers in the bottom of my dress, and lifted it up over my head, leaving me only in my bra and butterfly necklace. Drawing me close, his hands roamed all over my body, as if he were imprinting himself on me. I reached back and unclasped my bra, my breasts spilled out and he immediately cupped them as he loved to do, thumbing my nipples into hard points. Walking me backward toward the bed, when the backs of my legs hit the mattress, Ty swooped down the comforter and lay me back on the sheets.
ENDLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 1: Ty & Zoey Page 8