‘You told me you knew nothing about your real parents.’
‘My background is hardly something to be proud of,’ she said drily. She sighed. ‘Like many adopted children, I imagine, I was curious about who had brought me into the world and, without any facts to go on, I created a fantasy that my real parents had been forced by tragic circumstances to give me away, but they had always loved me and were desperate for us to be reunited.’
The unconsciously wistful note in her voice evoked a pang of sympathy in Kadir but he knew she would hate any suggestion of pity. He strolled across to the window overlooking the palace courtyard where the helicopter was parked on the pad.
He remembered the night his yacht had capsized off the south coast of England and his relief when he had looked up and seen the coastguard helicopter piloted by Lexi which had come to his rescue. It was due to her fearlessness that his life had been saved. And she had demonstrated her bravery again when she had calmly flown the helicopter while the kidnapper had stuck a gun in her ribs. But, beneath her tough exterior, Kadir knew she hid a vulnerability that touched something inside him.
‘How did you learn the truth about your biological mother?’
‘When I was eighteen the adoption agency helped me to trace her. But my hope that I would feel an instant bond with her was quickly shattered. Cathy agreed to meet me, but there was no emotional reunion,’ Lexi said wryly. ‘She told me that she hadn’t wanted a baby and had handed me to a social worker immediately after I was born. When I finally met Cathy, she had sorted her life out and was married, but her husband had no idea of her past life or that she’d had a child and, because she is ashamed of her past, she has never told anyone about me.’
‘Do you keep in contact with her?’
‘We meet a few times a year, always in secret,’ Lexi said bitterly. ‘Six months ago Cathy learned that she has cancer which is untreatable. She broke down when she told me that she had built up huge debts on credit cards that her husband did not know about. She knew he would be worried about the money she owed and she was upset that their last few months together would be spoiled, so I offered to pay the debts for her.’
‘It was good of you to help her when she doesn’t seem to have been much of a mother to you.’
‘She’s my mother,’ Lexi said flatly. ‘She was in a desperate situation when she gave birth to me, and I think she tried to do her best for me by having me adopted. Surely you can understand now, why, even if I am pregnant, you can’t marry me. The Zenhabian people were expecting you to marry a princess and I doubt they would accept a whore’s daughter for their Sultana.’
Kadir caught hold of her chin when she looked away from him as if she was embarrassed to meet his gaze. ‘Lexi, whatever your mother was and however she lived her life has no bearing on who you are. No one could fail to be impressed by your courage and your compassion. If you are pregnant I can’t think of anyone who would be a better mother to my child, and as my wife you would be a great role model to young women in Zenhab.’
Lexi swallowed. He sounded as if he meant what he had said, but a voice of caution inside her head warned her that she would be a fool to trust him. The truth was that if she had conceived Kadir’s baby he was prepared to marry her only because he wanted his child.
She dragged her eyes from the molten warmth in his and spun away from him. ‘This conversation is premature and almost certainly pointless. I’m sure I’m not pregnant. There’s a flight leaving Zenhab for Dubai, from there I can catch a direct flight back to London, and I intend to be on it.’
She stared at the empty drawer in the bureau. ‘I know I put my passport in here.’ She suddenly remembered that the maid who cleaned her apartment had opened the drawer and quickly shut it again when Lexi had entered the room earlier. ‘One of the staff wouldn’t have taken it, would they?’
‘Yes, on my instruction,’ Kadir said coolly. ‘But don’t worry. I have it safely locked away in my study and if you are not pregnant I’ll return it to you.’
Her shock turned swiftly to fury. ‘You stole my passport?’
‘Borrowed,’ he drawled.
‘That’s outrageous. How dare you? I demand you return it immediately.’ Lexi could feel her blood pounding through her veins, but her anger was mixed with apprehension when she realised that she was effectively a prisoner in Zenhab and probably at the palace, she thought, remembering the guards who protected the perimeter walls and gates. Kadir could not force her to marry him, she reminded herself.
As if he could read her mind, he said inexorably, ‘If the news is positive, we will marry without delay before word gets out that you are carrying the Sultan’s child.’
Kadir’s jaw hardened. Taking Lexi’s passport had been a panic reaction to prevent her from leaving, and he acknowledged that she had every right to be angry. But if she left she might refuse to return to Zenhab. And if she was pregnant she might decide to bring up her child—his child—on her own in England. He knew she was fiercely independent, and it was possible that she wouldn’t want to spend her life in a remote desert kingdom.
He remembered how his mother had hated Zenhab and the restrictions of being the wife of the Sultan. Judith Montgomery had abandoned her husband and seven-year-old son to live at the Montgomery estate in Windsor, but whenever Kadir had visited his mother she had put emotional pressure on him to live in England with her.
Kadir grimaced as he remembered his mother’s tears when he’d said goodbye to her at the end of each visit. He had loved both his parents and had felt torn between them. His mother had made him feel guilty for choosing to live with his father and he had spent his childhood shuttling back and forth between his parents and the two very different cultures in Zenhab and England.
If Lexi was pregnant, he would not want his child to go through what he had as a child, to feel torn loyalties and guilt, as he had done. Somehow he must try to convince Lexi that their child, if there was a child, deserved to be brought up by both of them in a stable family unit. But he could not abandon his duty to his kingdom. He was a Sultan and his child would be heir to the throne. Marriage to Lexi was the only option.
But what if, after a few years of marriage, she left him like his mother had left his father? How would he feel if she decided that life in the desert kingdom was not for her? Sultan Khalif had been heartbroken by his wife’s desertion, Kadir remembered. As a teenager, he had watched his father sitting alone in the gardens that had been created for Judith, and he had vowed that he would never lose his heart to a woman. Love had been his strong father’s one weakness, but Kadir knew better than to risk his emotions on something as unreliable as love.
Lexi stared at Kadir’s chiselled features and wondered what he was thinking. He had insisted that if she was pregnant he would marry her, and she supposed she should feel relieved that her child would have a father. But the harsh truth was that his child was all he was interested in. He had proved that he was not interested in her when he had virtually ignored her after the night they had spent together on Jinan.
She tried to hold on to her anger. She needed to be strong to stand up to him and not allow him to push her into a loveless marriage that would be convenient for him but heartbreaking for her. But her fire and her temper had deserted her and she felt empty and alone, just as she had been all her life. No one had really wanted her or loved her, she thought bleakly. Memories of her childhood, when she had been made to feel a nuisance by her adoptive parents, still hurt. How could she marry Kadir, knowing that he did not want her—apart from for sex? she thought, remembering how he had said that they were sexually compatible.
‘I wish none of this had happened,’ she said in a choked voice.
An odd expression flared in Kadir’s eyes. ‘Do you regret making love with me?’
How could she regret the most beautiful night of her life? ‘Do you?’ she countered.
‘No.’ The night they had spent together on the island had been magical—a stolen night of ple
asure when he had been able to forget the responsibilities of being a Sultan.
The molten warmth in Kadir’s eyes sent a warning shiver through Lexi. She dared not soften towards him. When had he moved closer to her? The heat of his body and the evocative masculine scent of him tugged on her senses. If he touched her she would be lost! Suddenly scared of what she might reveal, Lexi tried to twist away from him, but he settled his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to him.
His body was all hard muscle and sinew, and the feel of his erection nudging her thigh made her insides melt.
‘I will never regret the pleasure and the passion we shared on Jinan,’ he said softly.
‘Don’t...’ she pleaded as she watched his head descend. She struggled against the strength of his arms holding her, but her real battle was with herself and her body betrayed her the moment he claimed her lips and kissed her with the ruthless mastery of a desert warrior.
It was sweet rapture to be in his arms, to lay her hand on his chest and feel the erratic thud of his heart, to know that his arousal was as swift and all-consuming as her own. She had thought he would never kiss her again, that their stolen night was all she would ever have of him. She had no protection against his sorcery, no defence against the bone-shaking tenderness of his kiss as he eased the pressure of his mouth on hers and traced the swollen contours of her lips with the tip of his tongue.
‘Do you still doubt we could make our marriage work?’
Lexi swept her lashes down to blot out the satisfied gleam in Kadir’s eyes. Of course he looked triumphant when she had capitulated so utterly and responded to him so shamelessly, she thought bleakly. Her mouth was stinging from his hungry passion, and she told herself she must have imagined an underlying tenderness in his kiss that had tugged on her frayed emotions.
‘It’s just sex,’ she muttered. ‘I don’t deny the chemistry that ignites whenever we’re within a few feet of each other, but it’s not a basis for marriage.’
She assumed he would step away from her, and was unprepared when he framed her face in his hands and murmured, ‘Was it just sex we had on Jinan? I have never experienced such intense pleasure as when we made love, and I can’t help feeling that we shared something more than merely physical satiation.’
On the island Kadir had tried to dismiss the surprising feelings that had swept over him in the languorous aftermath of making love to Lexi. He had been aware that he could not allow himself to feel anything because he was bound by duty to honour his arranged marriage. But since he had ended his marriage arrangement with Haleema he could not stop thinking about the sex with Lexi, which had been amazing. But he also remembered that when she had fallen asleep in his arms he had remained awake to protect her if the kidnapper returned; he had held her close to him and studied how her long eyelashes curled against her cheeks.
‘You’re just saying that because if it turns out that I am pregnant you want me to stay in Zenhab so that you can be a father to your child.’
Kadir saw the mistrust in her eyes and understood it all the more now that she had told him how her biological mother had rejected her.
‘I don’t deny I would want custody of my child,’ he admitted, determined to be honest with her. ‘I would be prepared to seek a legal ruling if necessary.’
He wanted much more, he acknowledged. He had told Lexi once that he wanted everything, and he knew with sudden insight that it was true.
She paled. ‘Do you mean you would fight for custody if I have a baby?’
For the first time since the nightmare had begun, Lexi considered the real possibility that she was pregnant. Supposing she had a baby, a tiny, vulnerable scrap of life, utterly dependent on her, that she could love and who would love her unconditionally? Unconsciously, she placed her hand over her stomach, the instinct of maternal protectiveness kicking inside her.
‘I would never give up my child. I’ve told you how my birth mother gave me away. How could you think I would do the same?’
The glimmer of tears in her eyes got to Kadir. ‘I know you wouldn’t,’ he said roughly. ‘So I suggest we stop the talk of fighting and custody and spend the next week or so getting to know each other better because, if you are carrying our child, then, like it or not, we will be spending the foreseeable future together.’
His suggestion of calling a truce made sense, Lexi acknowledged reluctantly. Nothing would persuade her to give up her child. Even if she managed to leave the palace and return to England, Kadir would find out if she was pregnant and he would use his wealth and power to claim his heir. In a strange way she was glad of his determination to be a devoted father, unlike the faceless man who had accidentally fathered her.
He took her silence as agreement. ‘We’ll start by having dinner tonight. Unfortunately, we won’t be alone because Yusuf reminded me that the French ambassador is coming to dinner at the palace this evening, but it will be good practice for you if you become Sultana of Zenhab.’
She did not return his smile. ‘The idea is laughable, isn’t it?’ she said in a low voice full of self-doubt, ‘considering my genes. I don’t know how to talk to an ambassador.’
‘Just be you,’ Kadir advised. He glanced at his watch. ‘I’m expecting a phone call. Dinner will be at eight.’ On his way out of the door, he glanced back at her. ‘I’ve taken the liberty of ordering some clothes for you. I will be hosting several social functions over the coming week and you’ll need evening dresses,’ he explained quickly when he saw the battle gleam in her eyes.
‘I don’t want you to pay for my clothes...’ Lexi stared at the door as Kadir closed it after him. The snick of the catch made her feel trapped; although he had not locked her in her apartment and presumably she could walk around the palace and gardens, she was not at liberty to leave the kingdom—at least, not until they knew if she was pregnant or not.
If she hadn’t conceived his child then, no doubt, she would find herself on the next flight out of Zenhab, and Kadir would be free to marry a woman of his choice.
She bit her lip and pushed away the crazy idea that she secretly hoped she was pregnant. She had spent her whole life hoping to find love, but she knew with painful certainty that her heart’s desire would not be granted here in the Sultan’s palace.
* * *
The evening was less of an ordeal than she had expected. The French ambassador had been invited to the palace, ostensibly to discuss opportunities for business investment in Zenhab but, with typical Gallic charm, he flirted with Lexi throughout dinner so that she soon relaxed and chatted away to him, earning her several hard stares from Kadir. Until her possible pregnancy was confirmed he had no right to look at her with brooding possessiveness in his eyes that in the flickering candlelight were the colour of bitter chocolate, she thought indignantly.
But once again the devil inside her enjoyed goading him, and she could not deny a sense of satisfaction when she met his gaze across the table and watched streaks of colour flare along his cheekbones. He might not love her, but he desired her.
She was glad she had abandoned her pride and worn one of the dresses that had been delivered to her apartment. The full-length black velvet gown had a modest neckline, in respect for Zenhabian culture, but it was expertly designed to show off her slim waist, and the colour was a perfect foil for her pale blonde hair that she had left loose so that it fell smooth and sleek to halfway down her back.
Kadir walked beside her as the party moved from the dining room outside to the terrace, where coffee was to be served. ‘I commend your efforts to encourage Zenhabian-French relations,’ he said curtly, ‘but I would prefer you not to flirt with Monsieur Aubrech.’
Lexi gave him an impatient look. ‘I was simply being friendly, and I have to say it wouldn’t have hurt you to have been a bit more amenable during dinner instead of scowling at Etienne. What’s wrong with you tonight?’
Where did he start? He had never experienced jealousy before, but every time Lexi had laughed at one of the ambassador�
��s jokes Kadir had felt corrosive acid fizzing in the pit of his stomach, and he had spent the entire dinner fighting the urge to ignore social niceties and carry her off to have hot, hard sex with her on the nearest available flat surface.
Aware that he was scowling as she had accused him of doing, he muttered something about her pushing his patience and strode onto the terrace, determined to keep the over-friendly French ambassador away from Lexi.
At the end of the evening, Lexi’s temper was still simmering over Kadir’s unfair accusation that she had been flirting with the French ambassador. She walked into her bedroom and smiled as she dismissed the maid who had turned down the sheets on her bed. Picking up her hairbrush from the dressing table, she heard a faint sound behind her and whirled around with a startled cry as the bathroom door opened and Kadir appeared.
‘What are...?’ She broke off when he put a finger to his lips, warning her to be quiet.
‘Has the maid gone?’ he murmured. ‘Go and lock your bedroom door.’
She marched across the room and turned the key in the lock before she turned to face him, and immediately wished she hadn’t when she realised he was naked apart from a towel knotted dangerously low on his hips. He was rubbing his damp hair with another towel. Lexi forced her eyes up from his naked, bronzed chest to his face and felt her stomach dip as she studied the sensual curve of his mouth and the sexy stubble that covered his jaw.
‘Why didn’t you want the maid to see you?’
He shrugged. ‘It’s better not to publicly advertise our relationship just yet, at least until we know if you are pregnant. It is against Zenhabian custom for men and women to share a bedroom before marriage.’
‘So instead you are skulking around the palace and visiting me in secret.’ She welcomed her temper to disguise her hurt that once again she was a shameful secret. ‘I have no intention of sharing my bedroom with you,’ Lexi told him furiously. ‘You said we should spend time getting to know one another better, but you obviously thought I would provide ten nights of sex. I don’t suppose I’ll even see you in the daytime.’
Sheikh's Forbidden Conquest Page 14