They’d spent the best part of a hectic week organizing a wedding that was nothing but a mockery, yet when he looked at her—
In two days time they would exchange vows based on a lie and yet somewhere deep down in her heart she didn’t want it to be a lie. But she couldn’t admit that. Not yet.
She released her breath on a soft sigh. She’d never in her life been so glad to hear her son’s voice.
* * * *
Jess smiled at the sound of her mother’s awed gasp. The winter trees had peeled away and in the cold light of day Madeley looked even more impressive and statelier in the crisp, clean air than the first time she’d seen it.
“You have a beautiful home, Jason.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Wright.”
The car stopped at the main entrance of the house. Jason climbed out first, opening the back passenger door to assist her mother and then Jake from the car. Jess wore sensible boots. This time she didn’t need sweeping off her feet. She stepped out of the car and caught the glint in Jason’s gaze. An amused smile played across his lips. She shifted uneasily. It was unnerving that she knew what he was thinking, and vice versa.
They entered the house with Jake bursting through the door first. They shook the snow from their shoes and removed their coats and scarves before continuing through the large reception hall, past the morning room and library Jess had missed on her first night at Madeley.
At the far end was the grand staircase. Jake had taken the stairs quite quickly and Jason hurried after him. Not long afterward, Jess heard her son squeal with delight.
“I don’t know exactly what’s going on between you and Jason,” her mother said, linking her arm through hers. “And I won’t know unless you tell me, but whatever it is he makes you happy.”
Jess studied the carved handrail as they continued upward. “What do you mean?”
“You light up in his presence. You practically glow.”
“I don’t.”
“You do. More than you ever did with Tom.”
“So, you don’t blame me for divorcing Tom.”
“You have to do what’s right for you, Jess. I understand that. You deserve to be happy. And if it’s with Jason, then so be it. I know you’ll do what’s right for Jake too.”
Jess smiled faintly.
They reached the first floor mezzanine. Two bedrooms—one a former valets room, simple in design and taste, and the other with oak flooring and panels—had been prepared for Jake and his grandmother.
Jess left Jake and her mother exploring the hand-painted Chinese wallpaper and elaborately carved ceiling in the Chinese Room and followed Jason to the floor above. She walked down the familiar wide corridor, noting for the first time the regal rooms opening off it.
“I thought you would like your old room,” Jason said.
“Thank you.”
They stopped outside her bedroom door.
“If we’re going to pull this off we’re going to have to convince a lot of people that we’re in love.”
Jess stared at her fingers clasped against her stomach. “I know. And I’ll do my part.”
Jason stepped closer to her. “How will you do that when you can’t even bring yourself to say my name?” he accused. “Or look at me.”
Jess licked her lips and then slowly raised her eyes to his.
“Don’t worry, when the time comes I’ll look at you adoringly and laugh and smile in all the right places.”
She turned and escaped into her room, closing the door firmly behind her.
* * * *
Jess spent the first day with her son and mother exploring every nook and cranny at Madeley. Jason joined them mid-afternoon, suggesting they take a walk in the surrounding woods. She couldn’t suppress a smile as Jason hoisted Jake high onto his shoulders and started pointing out things of interest to her son—an abandoned bird’s nest, a covered foxhole, the black shadows of inquisitive fish skimming the surface of the lake. She listened to their mingled voices and couldn’t imagine a more pleasant sound.
Jason’s dogs accompanied them as well, and although Jess wasn’t overly fond of the two Dobermans she couldn’t deny how protective they were of her son. Dogs and boy had taken to each other from the moment they’d met and it’d made Jake’s transition from London to Scotland a much less painful experience than she’d feared. Still, even she could see it’d been more than the dogs that had made Jake feel welcome. She looked at the man standing in front of the private chapel with her son perched high on his shoulders.
The private chapel was at the south side of the estate. It had its own entrance which was a bonus considering the number of guests that would be arriving for the ceremony in two days time. It’d mainly been Jason’s friends. But she’d relented when her mother suggested they invite family from her father’s side, mutual friends left over from her divorce from Tom and a few of her mother’s closest friends to balance the guest list.
Jason had thought of everything, from the parking attendants to the wedding hostesses, and Hilda had done the rest. The reception would be held in the huge Blue Ballroom at Madeley.
“Would you like to see inside?” Jason asked.
She stepped past him and entered through the opened door, looking down just in time to see her son rush past her up the aisle. Her mother gave her a quick hug and kissed her cheek before chasing after Jake.
The chapel was beautiful. Sober stone walls and stained glass windows enhanced by a simple array of blue and white flowers and the sapphire carpet running the length of the limestone floor from the door to the altar.
“Hilda didn’t think you would want anything too ostentatious.”
Jess smiled, fingering the tartan material draped along the pews.
“That’s the McCormack tartan,” Jason said.
She caught his gaze. “I didn’t expect so much,” she murmured.
He stepped closer. “Do you like it?”
She couldn’t lie. “Yes. I like it very much.”
* * * *
They’d gone through the motions. It was flawless and beautiful and convincing.
Jess gazed down at her son sitting on the front pew and returned his broad grin with a smile. Her mother smiled too, giving a slight encouraging nod of her head.
Jason squeezed her hand, drawing her attention back to him. It was intense just looking at him. She gave him a small smile. Despite the tension between them, they’d played their parts well for all to see. It’d been in the chaste kisses against her cheek, the lingering looks and gentle touches. It’d been in shared smiles and unguarded moments when her head rested against his shoulder and his arm slid about her waist.
She willed her brain to function, to give her the capability of speech. She said her final vows, and heard the words that made her stomach contract with fear and anticipation.
You may kiss your wife.
Jason molded her close. His mouth hovered above her lips and his eyes held hers with a patient gaze. It took a moment to realize he was asking permission to kiss her. Jess parted her lips on a whispered yes—and then gasped in horror.
Her name resounded through the chapel a second time. She spun from Jason’s embrace to stare at the man making his way with slow, nonchalant steps over the dark blue carpet. Her hand flew to her heart.
Tom?
Her lips moved, yet she was unsure if she’d uttered his name. Her eyes snapped to Jason. He stood rigidly at her side, but he no longer looked at her. His own gaze had narrowed and was locked on Tom. Jess turned back to her ex-husband. His gray eyes caught her gaze, but his sneer was clearly directed at Jason.
“Congratulations, Jason. Does she know?”
Jess tore her gaze from Tom and raised wide and questioning eyes to Jason. The muscle of his cheek twitched with barely controlled anger, yet he still wouldn’t look at her. Jason’s eyes shifted and his head moved in the briefest of nods. She quickly followed his line of vision to the two men making their way with purposeful strides to where Tom
stood in the middle of the chapel. Out the corner of her eye she noticed the side door open. Her mother, with Jake’s hand in hers, slipped outside. Relief filled her and she silently praised her mother’s presence of mind.
“Does she know?” Tom repeated.
Tom’s angry condemnation had Jess spinning once more in his direction. She couldn’t speak. She was afraid to speak. Her eyes scanned the faces of the guests, each and everyone enthralled by this unfolding scene. Her throat went dry.
Up until Tom’s arrival the wedding had been conducted perfectly. She’d even managed to say her vows with calmness and confidence, with no trace of her nervous stutter. But now the heat of her panic spiraled through her chest and slowly squeezed the breath from her lungs.
Tom continued his tirade. “I’m warning you, Jess. You’re making a big mistake by marrying him. He’s no good. Tell her, Jason. Tell her about your father and the kind of man he is!”
Jess stared in stunned disbelief from one man to the other. From her ex-husband to the man to whom she had but a few moments earlier bestowed her “I do.”
The urge to run overwhelmed her, but before she could consciously act on that impulse Jason caught her to him. He crushed her breasts against his chest and imprisoned her body against the impressive length of his. His arm tightened about her waist. The sensual, heady scent of him filled her nostrils and her hands fisted in the lapel of his jacket.
“You have to face this, Jessica,” he clipped in her ear. “If you leave now, you merely cast doubt on your choice of husband.”
He traced a finger lightly down her cheek, no doubt for the benefit of those watching them. “Tom can’t interfere. He mustn’t interfere. If he suspects for one moment the real reason behind this marriage, he could jeopardize everything. Do you understand?”
He held her so close that her mouth rested against the small area of skin beneath his ear. She moistened her lips, licking his skin with the tip of her tongue. She absorbed the shiver passing through him. She drew back and raised her eyes to his.
“It’s your call,” he said.
She shifted in Jason’s arms, but made no further effort to escape them. She met Tom’s gaze with her own. There was pain in the depths of his eyes. Pain she’d put there.
He made to move toward her, but the two men on either side of him, gripping his arms, immediately and forcibly halted his single step.
“Don’t do it, Jess,” he said. “Please, don’t marry him.”
Jess lowered her eyes. He was too late. It was already done.
* * * *
The reception was in full swing in the Blue Ballroom, and although Tom’s unexpected intrusion seemed forgotten Jess sought a moment’s refuge in her bedroom.
She sat on the edge of the queen-sized bed and studied the exquisite gold ring with its engraved iron outer layer gracing the finger of her left hand. Iron, the metal of choice in early Roman times symbolizing the strength of love a man had for a woman. But she’d chosen iron as a reminder that what she was doing, she was doing for Jake.
The delicate strains of Puccini’s Turandot drifted hauntingly through the distant air. She really didn’t know anything anymore. Tom’s outburst had taken away the last conviction she had that she was doing the right thing. He was forcing her to re-examine all her decisions concerning Jason McCormack and she wasn’t sure she wanted to look that closely. Yet her instincts were seldom wrong. Were they wrong now? Were her senses so scrambled, her emotions so inside out that she could no longer trust her intuition?
“Are you all right, Jess?”
Her mother’s voice filtered through her thoughts. The soft hands cradled her face. Jess raised her eyes to her mother’s gaze.
“Today, I’ve never seen you look more beautiful, or more sad,” her mother said. “Won’t you trust me, Jess, and tell me what’s wrong? What’s really going on between you and Jason?”
Jess smiled faintly. She couldn’t tell her mother about Sean…about Graham…about any of this.
“There’s nothing going on, Mum, and there’s nothing wrong. Honestly.” She averted her gaze back to her ring. “I was shocked to see Tom, that’s all.”
Tom had obviously been drinking and everyone had thought him incoherent, but she saw the look exchanged between both men. Tom’s words had definite meaning. Words meant for her. It made her ill to think Tom and Jason could know each other. Yet, how was that possible? They’d never met. And why would Tom want to warn her about Jason anyway? So many questions and again she had the answers to none.
“You know you’re going to have to come back to the reception,” her mother said standing up. “Your new husband is adept at explaining your ex-husband’s presence, but your absence merely undermines his effort. Besides, the photographer has arrived.”
“I just need five minutes.”
“Five minutes, and no more,” her mother said. She walked to the door. “I don’t think Jason is a very patient man. He wanted to come after you himself.”
The door closed and clicked softly into place. Jess was finally alone.
It’d been rather cowardly of her to leave Jason like that, but she needed to distance herself from him. And time to rein in her emotions and douse her panic.
She moved from the bed to the Queen Anne vanity table by the window. She took a tissue and dabbed away the traces of her tears. Thank God her eyes weren’t red and swollen. With trembling fingers she set about repairing the damage to her make-up. Her thoughts drifted to her ex-husband.
For months they’d barely lived as man and wife, although she hadn’t meant to be so distant or dispassionate. She remembered the pain in Tom’s voice when he’d once asked if it was the thought of sex that revolted her or just him. Her fingers stilled against her cheek. At the time she was unable to give him an answer, but now—now there was Jason McCormack. Jess sighed.
The feeling Jason aroused in her was something that frightened her. It was too intense, too sincere. It was his ability to weaken her control. She’d always been in control of her emotions, yet the mere sound of Jason’s voice was all it took to shatter the wall she’d so carefully constructed around her sanity and her heart.
Jess stood and gave her reflection the once over. She wasn’t entirely unhappy with the result. She’d been true to her word and not a penny of Jason’s money had been spent on her.
The champagne-colored dress accentuated the dusky bronze of her skin and dark length of her hair. It was cut in very simple lines, hugging her waist and hips in the right places and stopping short above the knee. Thin straps swept over her shoulders and the décolleté was modest enough to draw the right amount of attention to her breasts. Jason hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her.
Her fingers traveled to the three-layered pearl choker adorning her throat. Apart from her wedding band, it was the only piece of jewelry she wore. It’d been a gift from Jason earlier that morning.
“I would understand if you refuse,” he’d said. “But I would like you to wear this.” At that point he’d produced the necklace adding, “It'd belonged to my mother.”
Jess could only stare at him. His unexpected gift had left her bewildered, questioning his feelings and hers. It’d been her mother who’d broken the tensed silence between them.
“Refuse?” she’d said. “Why would Jess want to refuse such a precious gift?”
The question had been directed at Jason, but her mother had looked quizzically at her. To refuse Jason’s gift had meant explaining why. So she’d accepted the priceless heirloom in the manner in which it was given—as a token of love from a man to his bride.
Jess glanced at her reflection once more. She couldn’t truly appreciate Tom’s unwelcome arrival.
* * * *
She returned to the ballroom and with polite patience made her way through the host of greetings, congratulations, and “Jason is a lucky man”. She steadied herself just in time as her son dashed across the stately room and hurled against her. His small arms slipped about her
hips.
“Mum!” He practically shouted in his enthusiasm.
Jess bent to shush him and planted a kiss on his cheek, which was promptly wiped away by the back of a small hand.
“Jason has a boat. He’s promised to take us out on it. Hasn’t he, Nana?”
The little face whipped from Jess to his grandmother, who’d come up behind him, and back again to Jess as quickly as the attention span of an excited six-year old would allow.
“You’ll come, too, won’t you, Mum?”
Jess couldn’t contain her laughter at the brightness in his eyes. “We’ll see, Jake. We’ll see.”
Her stomach somersaulted. She didn’t need to turn around to know Jason stood close behind her. That it was his hand resting lightly against the small of her back. She turned to meet his impassive face.
“I hope to take you sailing in the spring,” he said. “But right now I would settle for a dance with my wife.”
Jess felt her cheeks flush. “I’m afraid I don’t dance very well.”
“Nonsense,” her mother said. Jess flicked her a pleading glance, but her mother merely continued. “It’s your wedding, Jess. You can’t not dance at your own wedding. Besides I didn’t pay for all those dancing lessons for nothing. She’s very accomplished, Jason.”
“I don’t doubt that, Norma.”
Jake’s voice squealed with delight. “Mum, you’re all red.”
Jess lowered her gaze to her son’s beaming face and smiled. “Am I?”
Jake concurred with a huge grin that pushed his dimpled cheeks upward and outward. She watched him saunter off with her mother, and then she was standing in the middle of the room beneath the solitary chandelier with Jason’s arm about her waist.
A soft ripple of applause accompanied the faint chords of a waltz filling the air. And suddenly she was being swept across the cherry wood floor in three-four time. She held on for dear life as she felt Jason effortlessly cut through her defenses. It left her breathless beneath his gaze.
* * * *
By the time the last guest had departed Jess was danced, smiled and talked out. But she’d not forgotten Tom. Her mother and Jake had already gone to their beds and she wanted this day to end. But how could she sleep knowing her ex-husband had tried to warn her about her new one? What if she had made a grave mistake by marrying Jason? Had she unwittingly put her son’s life in danger too? Could her attraction to Jason McCormack be blinding her to his true character? Was he, as he had so many times adamantly refuted, the enemy? Tom certainly thought so.
Blood of His Fathers (Sinners and Saints) Page 6