by Holly Hood
“I think Slade was your way of filling that empty space inside you.”
I scoffed.
“You missed your life, your mother, your brother. You missed your old house and Karsen. Slade was that filler for everything you were too afraid to face.” Dad leaned back in his chair.
“I’m not afraid to face anything,” I snapped. “You’re not a psychologist so why don’t you stop acting like one. I’m miserable because I had to take care of you. I had to carry around your emotions along with my own. I’m angry because she doesn’t care enough to call me or Elliot and Easton.”
“I’m angry because everything I thought I wanted out of life has seemed to fade to the background and be replaced by this dark cloud, this choking stifling life that somehow turned into mine.” I closed my mouth realizing I was saying way too much.
Dad was confused, it was written all over his face.
Lynette appeared in the doorway, wet hair.
“Hey, Hope,” she said sweetly.
I stood up. “Now if the two of you are done with the bathroom, I would love to shower myself.” I stalked down the hallway. “If there is any hot water left.”
THE PARTY
As the hot water hit my face, I willed it to wash away the bad feelings I felt toward Lynette. I tried to believe she was doing more good than harm when it came to Dad.
But, like everything else in my life my shower was ruined by someone’s intruding knocks.
I yanked the shower curtain to the side and yelled, “I’m coming.” Didn’t people know when a girl needed a moment alone?
I hurried out of the shower toweling the water from my body as the knocking continued.
“Dad, the door,” I screamed, hopping into my shorts and tank top.
I slipped from the bathroom, towel in hand, that oh so fresh feeling as the cool air kissed my skin. Dad was nowhere to be found, long gone, probably frolicking on the beach with his girlfriend. I thought.
I rounded the corner pleased to see Karsen standing outside the screen door.
“Don’t you know you’re always welcome to come in? You don’t have to bang like a wild animal.” She smirked and then looked down at the inside lock throwing my snarky comment to the wayside; it wasn’t going to work because she was locked out.
I flicked the lock, and she stepped inside carrying a bag of laundry.
“I wouldn’t say that to everyone. Who knows what weirdos might be lurking around these parts,” she commented, pulling up a seat. She tossed her laundry on the tabletop. I pushed it to the floor.
“We don’t want your nasty panties on our table. I thought you did your laundry at Kidd’s?” I took a seat and started toweling my hair dry, working the towel from the very top all the way to the ends.
“I just wanted to get out of there.” She smoothed her hair behind her ear flashing me an innocent smile, but I wasn’t buying it. Ever since we were kids I knew how to tell when Karsen was hiding something.
“Nothing pries you away from Kidd, spill it sister.” I stared her down.
She sighed, looking bothered. “I told you I didn't want to be around her anymore.” She didn’t have to say who her was. I knew she meant Audrey.
“I slapped her today,” I said with a satisfied smirk creeping up on my lips.
“Good. I slapped Slade today too.” She dodged my shocked expression and my fallen jaw, crossing her arms in defiance.
“Karsen!”
Karsen shook her head, refusing to feel awful about what she did. “I told you I would never let anyone treat you bad. He walked into the house with Audrey. It made me angry, and I slapped him. Sue me.”
I released a breath of air frustrated. Before I could say anything more, Karsen jumped up. “But before you go getting all upset about your so-called boyfriend, hear me out.” She started across the kitchen floor. Her flip flops slapping her heels.
I eyed her cautiously.
“Kidd told me to steer clear for a while seeing I didn't know how to play nicely. I’m sure it will blow over after he is done defending his best bud, whatever, that’s beside the point.” She rolled her blue eyes obviously still bitter Kidd sided with Slade over her. “While I was on the way here some surfers on the beach told me about this party, and I think we should go.” She had to be kidding if she thought now was the time for a party.
“You can’t be serious. I am so not in the mood for partying. I am trying to figure out what to do about this whole mess.” I stood up, crossing the room and going to the refrigerator.
“What mess?”
I spun around. “Slade. Audrey, just everything.” If she only understood how deep it all went.
“If Slade was any kind of a boyfriend or man, for that matter, he wouldn’t be hanging around with Audrey alone,” Karsen said with a shrug. I knew she was only trying to be honest because she didn’t want to see me hurt, but it hurt anyways.
“There has to be a reason other than he is a lying cheating jerk, Karsen. Why are you so quick to jump to that conclusion with him every time?” I knew Karsen was angry with Slade for having such a hot and cold personality. And I knew she hated that he disappointed me the entire school year. However, she didn’t know Slade like I did.
Karsen laughed finding my aggravation humorous. “He is running around with Audrey, who I know for a fact is into him. I heard those exact words escape her lips. Slade knows what Audrey wants and the fact he isn’t keeping away from her is fishy.”
I shook my head in denial. But it all made sense. “What does Kidd say about it?”
Karsen waved a dismissive hand. “Kidd is not going to rat Slade out. Are you kidding me?”
“What has he said, Karsen?” I glared at her. “He’s your boyfriend and I am sure that you guys talk about everything. So what has he said?”
“He says nothing. Every time I touch on the subject. I get my head ripped off or his tongue shoved down my throat. I don’t mind his tongue, but getting bitched out by my boyfriend. I am not fond of. If I wanted someone to yell at me, I would have stayed home with my parents.”
I sighed. “Where is this party?”
Karsen squealed with delight. “It’s farther down the beach, far away from Henry Park or Audrey or anyone whom we know around here. You need to let loose. See that there are other fish in the sea.” She played with my hair irking my nerves as she gushed about clothes and hairstyles and all the fun things she was so sure we were about to do.
***
“Karsen, I don’t know about this.” I told her as we headed down a rather seedy part of Cherry an hour later, a part I wasn’t aware even existed. The farther we walked the scarier the housing became.
The beach was lined with tikis, and various men clutching red solo cups as they bounced along to the music pumping from some unknown source.
There was about half a dozen picnic tables, most with scantily-clad girls sitting on top of them.
Karsen steered me onto the sand, stripping down to her neon yellow bikini. She clapped her hands taking off into the crowd, tugging me along with her. I looked back at her discarded clothes. This was beginning to feel like a horrible idea.
The crowd thinned out the closer to the ocean we got.
“Take off your clothes, this is a bikini party,” Karsen hissed. She smiled pleasantly at every guy whom we passed that looked like they wanted to hump her leg. What was it with her and attention?
“I’m fine in my clothes.” I told her. She obtained to passing solo cups from some unknown guy who was passing out drinks. I immediately grabbed the drinks out of her hands.
“What are you doing?” She asked as she watched me dump the contents in the sand, the liquid quickly absorbed at our feet and left nothing but a dark spot in the sand as a memory.
“Haven’t you learned anything?” I snapped. I grabbed the passing beers in the glass bottles with caps. I handed one over to her, and her smile returned. “You never drink from an open cup.”
I cracked the cap on my beer and swa
llowed half of the bitter tasting liquid before she could squeeze a pitiful excuse out. My throat thanked me for the ice-cold beverage even if it tasted gross.
Karsen did the same. And we polished off our first beer before the next song came on. Karsen danced to the music, several guys picking her out in the crowd the moment she began shaking it for the whole world to see. I gave a nod that it was okay to dance with one of the horny college guys; he looked rather harmless if you asked me. He turned his baseball cap to the back, one hand wrapping securely around Karsen’s waist, and he tugged her close. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck enjoying the moment.
I felt a bit guilty watching Karsen grope the guy she was dancing with. And bad that I was witnessing her make terrible decisions just to right a wrong she felt Kidd had done.
However, I soon pushed that to the side and grabbed another beer. Soon I was feeling less agitated with everything going wrong in my life and was moving along to the music.
“I never thought I would see you here,” Hutch said, coming to stand beside me. He watched Karsen as she pulled the guy's shirt over his head exposing his semi hairy chest. He wasn’t that fit, and he had no tattoos. However, she didn’t care.
I tipped the bottle back finishing off my second beer. And I was feeling even better I had to admit.
“I didn’t know I would be here,” I told Hutch; he took the empty beer bottle out of my hand and replaced it with a brand-new one.
“No boyfriend tonight?”
I shrugged, struggling to crack the cap. He took it back and with one swift movement had the cap off and sailing through the air. It landed in the sand.
“Does that mean no?” He grinned, taking a drink of his other beer.
“It means I don’t want to talk about it.” I kept my eyes on Karsen, making sure she wasn’t being manhandled as I talked to Hutch.
“Well then, what else can we talk about,” Hutch asked, tipping his head back and draining the entire contents of his beer. I looked over at him; he too was nursing some undisclosed problem. I knew a problem drinker when I saw one.
“How have you been, Hutch?” I asked feeling almost sad for him.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said back, he headed for the trash dropping both the bottles in it. He grabbed a shot off the passing tray and downed it. And as the next girl made her way through the crowd, he took two more off the tray and offered me one.
“What is it?”
“Vodka?” He dropped his head back swallowing another one. He wiped the corner of his mouth and gave a more confident nod. “Yes, it’s vodka alright.” He kept his eyes on my drink, w for me to throw caution to the wind and drink with him. I took a look at Karsen and then said what the hell. It was true what they said, drinking made people stupid, and I was just that.
I cringed and almost puked trying to keep the nasty liquor down. My insides warmed, and my chest burned. I closed my eyes waiting for the sensation to pass.
“Good girl,” Hutch said, pleased that I was willing to humor him. “What do you say to one more?”
I bit my lip. “I don’t know.”
He elbowed me. “Come on, another drink and then I swear the rest will be by your own accord.” He smiled when I shook my head and stopped the petite blonde heading past. He dropped his new shot inside his old one and clutched the plastic. He shot me a look that told me he was ready and we both simultaneously threw our heads back at the same time.
I cringed, handing the cup back to Hutch. He tossed them in the trash. “That was brilliant.”
I followed him along the sands. The heat and noise united made me feel a bit strange. Heat nipped at my cheeks, and suddenly it felt like someone had turned a furnace on. I wasn’t a drinker.
“I’m not a drinker,” I said out loud, my pulse quickened and echoed in my ears. “The last time I drank was when I was fifteen and Karsen snuck her dad’s coconut rum from his stash at her house.”
Hutch’s was grinning ear to ear now.
“It could be that I don’t like drinking. My dad has a lot of issues with Jack Daniels.” I was rambling like an idiot. I had also lost sight of Karsen that was until she was tugging at my arm and in my face, just as smashed as I probably felt.
“This might be the greatest party ever.” She pulled her gaze away from me long enough to stare up at Hutch. “You’re huge. Is everything massive?"
I giggled, embarrassed Karsen was so unladylike, but when was she not? Hutch wasn’t offended. He offered us the only picnic table that was free of half-naked girls. I sat down with a thud, misjudging my landing.
Karsen sat down beside me. Her bare legs pressed against mine. She hardly had boundaries before now they were nonexistent and evading my space. I nudged her over and offered Hutch the space on the other side of me.
“So?” Karsen pressed. “Is everything huge? Are you gifted in the trousers?”
I rolled my eyes at Hutch. “You don’t have to answer her.”
He smiled. “I believe some things should be left to the imagination.”
Karsen snorted breaking into laughter. She actually snorted; I shot her a disturbed look wondering how much she had to drink while I wasn’t looking. “That’s the most boring thing I have ever heard someone say. My boyfriend, Kidd, he isn’t afraid to say anything.” She drifted off into a day dream about Kidd, leaving me to fend for myself on the conversation front.
I leaned forward, staring down at my toes.
“What about Hope, what's so great about her boyfriend?” Hutch asked, Karsen came back to life. She hiccupped.
“I don’t know if there is anything all that great about him. Don’t let her fool you. She’s unhappy. And that reminds me,” she said, tugging my phone from my pocket before I could object. “I have a loving, caring, boyfriend at home that would love to hear my voice right now. I am going to call him, and you are going to sit here and tell Hutch why you seriously need to think about dumping Slade.”
I shook my head.
“And try to get him to tell you about the package,” Karsen whispered the last part to the both of us as if Hutch wasn’t in earshot. She stumbled toward the boardwalk.
“She is drunk.” I pointed out the obvious.
“She is also ditching you,” he said as Karsen headed down the boardwalk, back the way we came.
I jumped up on wobbly legs; legs that I knew were never going to get me home in one piece. What had I got myself into? I plopped back down beside Hutch and sighed.
“I live just down the beach,” he said in my ear. “A few glasses of water or a coffee and you will be good as new.”
“You live in this neighborhood?”
He nodded. “Not up to your standards?”
“No…I didn’t mean anything by it.” I slapped myself in the forehead, pushing my hair behind my ear. “Look at my house. It’s nothing spectacular. I’m drunk.” I frowned.
Hutch smirked standing up. “I will keep that in mind and not take offense to anything you say from here on out.” He offered his hand as I stood on shaky legs like Bambi about to take my first steps in the woods.
We started across the sand. “This is more like quick sand then sand,” I grumbled, searching for my missing flip flop.
“I don’t think we are going to get anywhere at this pace.” Hutch told me, picking up my flip flop. H heaved me over his shoulder like a light jacket, his large hand resting on my backside as he carried me across the sand.
I closed my eyes; the rhythmic beat of his feet was making me sleepy. Suddenly, he stopped walking and set me upright on the boardwalk.
“Is this better?” he asked, dropping my flip flop.
I shoved my foot in it, missing where my toes were supposed to go. I fumbled with my shoe, trying to raise my leg off the ground and fell over into Hutch’s waiting arms. He shook his head, and slung me back over his shoulder. His hand found that same position on my rear.
“This could make me puke,” I informed him.
“Let�
�s not think about puking. Let’s just think about getting to my house.”
“What about my house? Maybe we should go there,” I offered, my body dangling like a piece of meat over his shoulder. He was like a caveman carrying his woman home.
“That would be smart if I knew you could make it in one piece, and what about your father?” He reminded me.
I pushed my hair from my eyes, watching our swift stroll across the boardwalk as we headed to his house. “Your right, my dad would kill me.”
“A couple hours, you sober up and you’re good to go,” Hutch said, as a matter of fact. He set me upright and unlocked a gate leaving me propped against the chain-link fence of the house he lived in.
He held out his hand, helping me up to the steps. I carefully climbed them one by one taking hold of the white pillar on the porch as he unlocked the front door.
“Where are your brothers?” I asked.
“Sleeping or out.” He allowed me past him into the dark room. I had no clue what was before me. Or which way I could move without bumping into something, so I stayed as still as I could as drunk as I was.
He dropped his keys by the front door and snapped on a table lamp. I dropped down on the navy blue couch before he offered me a seat, running a hand through my hair. Hutch disappeared and returned with a bottle of water.
“Drink up, the sooner you drink the faster you can get home.” He sat down across from me.
I unscrewed the cap and took a sip, licking my lips. I set the bottle on the floor. “Hutch, why were you upset back there?”
He raised an eyebrow, “Never upset, doll.”
I smiled. “Nobody has called me doll before.”
“Do you like when I call you doll?”
I nodded, lying back on the couch. I stared up at the ceiling. “So why were you upset?”
Hutch sighed from where he sat on the love seat. “I suppose everyone gets down on occasion, nothing to worry about, nothing to discuss.”