by Janey Fraser
Easy! It had always been blue. When she’d been little, it was all she would wear.
‘YELLOW!’
Miss Davies’s voice rose above the roar of excitement. ‘Sorry, Bobbie. That’s one to Daisy.’
‘But she’s always loved blue!’
‘That was ages ago!’ sang out her daughter’s indignant voice – so like Rob’s. ‘If you listened to me, you’d know I’d gone off it.’
There was a wave of laughter from the audience followed by mock tutting from Judith. ‘No answering back! Not yet anyway. Right, Daisy, what is Mum’s favourite colour?’
‘Red! Cos that’s what her face does when she’s yelling at us.’
Another wave of laughter mixed with a few sympathetic looks from the crowd in front, including Andy.
‘Your turn now, Bobbie. What’s Daisy’s favourite subject?’
No problem: ‘English! She loves reading and telling stories.’
‘You’re meant to write it down, Mum, not shout it out,’ giggled Daisy from the other side of the screen. ‘Anyway, you’re wrong! It’s art.’
‘Since when?’
‘Children, children!’ called out a woman with red hair. ‘Don’t squabble!’
‘Right, Daisy. What was Mum’s favourite subject when she was at school?’
There was a brief silence. ‘I don’t know. Mum’s never told us. But she’s awful at maths. She got me a D in my homework last week.’
Another wave of laughter. Maybe Miss Davies would see the funny side, thought Bobbie hopefully. No? Oh well.
‘Right, last question then. Bobbie, your turn. Who’s Daisy’s best friend?’
This was a real minefield. Children changed their best friends from one day to the next. Besides, Daisy was still finding her feet at her new school. Aware that a sea of faces was staring at her, many of whom had been round to their house for play dates, Bobbie hesitated. This was the kind of question that could destroy Daisy’s social life for ever if she got the answer wrong.
Then she saw Vanessa sitting at the back. Of course! ‘Daisy has lots of friends,’ she said carefully, ‘but she loves to hang out with Sunshine. She might be younger but the two of them get on really well.’
‘YES!’ Daisy’s bossy little voice came thudding through the screen. ‘You’ve got it right, Mum!’
‘Now what about you, Daisy?’ asked Miss Davies. ‘Who’s Mum’s best friend?’
‘It’s Sarah! We used to live near her.’
‘No it’s not!’ piped up a little voice from the front. Jack? ‘It’s Uncle Andy! I saw them this morning, giving each other a cuddle!’
Oh my God! Had her son really just said that? Andy too looked horror-stricken. Even worse, no one laughed. Instead, there was a hushed silence.
‘That’s ridiculous,’ she began. ‘Andy’s my brother-in-law,’ she added for the benefit of those who might not know. ‘We were just … just talking about family stuff.’
Miss Davies appeared flustered, undoing her ponytail and then putting it up again. ‘Let’s have a changeover now, shall we? How about you, Matthew and Lottie?’
Bobbie didn’t know where to look. Forget the disapproving stares from the audience – especially Audrey who was whispering loudly – it was her children who mattered. Less Jack, who didn’t seem to realise the significance of what he had just said, but Daisy, who was rushing out of the house, down through the garden and out of the back gate.
It wasn’t easy to run when you were three months pregnant with twins. ‘Daisy! Stop. Please!’
Reluctantly her daughter slowed to a halt. She was crying! With a pang, Bobbie remembered how sick she’d felt as a teenager when overhearing her mother accusing Dad of seeing someone else. Hadn’t she vowed to herself then that she would never ever put her own children through that? Yet here she was again, repeating the same pattern.
‘Daisy?’ she began, sitting down beside her on a bench overlooking the sea. The gentle splash of the waves below made her feel slightly calmer. ‘I love Daddy very much, you know.’
There was an accusing glare. ‘Then why did you cuddle Uncle Andy?’
Life was always so black and white in children’s heads!
‘It was a comfort cuddle. I was a bit upset and Uncle Andy was making me feel better.’
There was a sniff. ‘So you’re not going to get divorced like Aunty Sarah?’
‘No. No, we’re not.’ Bobbie heard her voice sounding stronger. That toe-curling scene just now had made her realise something. Yes, Andy was kind and understanding, but it was Rob she loved. That was why she had been so upset when she’d thought he was having an affair with Araminta. Besides, he was the father of her children: no one else could take that place.
I love him. Wasn’t that what her mother had always said when explaining why she stayed with her father?
‘In fact, I’m going to ring Daddy and ask him to come down.’ Actually she’d tell him. Point out that they had to start behaving like grown-ups for the sake of the kids. Admit that she had faults too.
‘OK.’ Daisy set her little jaw. For a minute, Bobbie saw a flash of Camilla. Heaven help them. ‘Do it then, Mum. Make up. Just like you’re always saying to me and Jack.’
Right now? Bobbie’s resolve began to weaken. Rob had been so mad at her!
‘You shouldn’t go to bed on an argument!’ Daisy was virtually waggling her finger. ‘That’s what you tell us!’
She’d have liked more time to work out what she was going to say but there was nothing for it. Nervously, Bobbie pressed Rob’s number.
‘Hi, this is Rob Wright. Sorry I’m not …’
‘Try the home phone.’ Daisy’s voice was dictatorial.
‘Hi, this is the Wright family …’
Daisy’s face crumpled. ‘Where is he then?’
Bobbie drew her daughter to her. ‘Probably in a meeting.’
Daisy broke away from her. ‘I don’t believe you. In fact, I don’t believe either of you. You’re going to get divorced, aren’t you? It’s that thing’s fault!’ She pointed to Bobbie’s stomach. ‘I don’t want a stupid brother or sister. Send it back and then it will be all right again.’
‘How are you doing?’
It was Andy. She’d been dreading this. The very sound of his voice filled her with so many different emotions that Bobbie didn’t know which one to pick.
‘I’m all right, thanks,’ she replied neutrally, trying to camouflage her distress by unloading the dishwasher. Ever since they’d arrived, there had been a posse of well-meaning adults, each keen to outdo the others in the kitchen. In the end, at Miss Davies’s suggestion, they’d drawn up a list of parent and child helpers. ‘Not your own children,’ the young teacher had urged. ‘The handbook says it can be useful to mix and match.’ Bobbie had ended up with the twins who belonged to Mr and Mrs Perfect. They were identical (as were Jilly’s) which made it hard to know who was meant to be doing what. Right now, however, they were both laying the huge table in the dining room next door.
‘I need to talk to you,’ Andy said urgently. ‘Please. The coast is clear. Honest.’
Turning round, she watched him take in her tear-stained face.
‘You’re not all right,’ he said softly.
‘Of course I’m not! My reputation – what little there was of it – has been completely ripped to shreds. And I’ve been trying to get hold of Rob but there’s no answer.’
He nodded, his eyes sympathetic. ‘I can’t contact Pamela either.’
‘NOT THERE, YOU MORON. YOU PUT THE FORKS THERE!’
‘NO, YOU DON’T.’
‘YES, YOU DO!’
There was the sound of healthy tussling from next door.
‘NOW LOOK. YOU’VE MADE A MARK ON THE TABLE.’
Sounded like the twins weren’t as easy-going as their parents made out.
‘But I don’t care,’ added Andy. ‘In fact, I’m beginning not to care about quite a lot of things.’
Help! He was moving to
wards her. Hadn’t she guiltily daydreamed about this? Yet now it was happening, it didn’t feel right. Not right at all.
‘Excuse me, but I was looking for Sunshine.’
They both jumped as Vanessa came in through the back door, wearing a pair of dashing blue and white culottes that one of her regulars had brought in last week. It was one of those really bright spring days that was so warm, it could almost be June. Outside, the children had stripped off and were dashing around in T-shirts and, in some cases, just their underwear. ‘Have you seen her anywhere?’
‘No.’ Bobbie peeled off her National Trust apron. ‘But I’ll come and help you find her. Andy, can you take over for me please?’ Grabbing Vanessa’s arm, she almost ran on to the patio. ‘I’m so glad you came in just then!’
Vanessa gave her an odd look. ‘I don’t want to pry, Bobbie, but the two of you seemed to be getting rather close there.’
‘I know!’ Bobbie looked wildly around but the kids were all leaping on the trampoline or in the hot tub, under the guidance of Mr and Mrs Perfect who were sitting awkwardly on the edge, matching jeans rolled up, dipping their legs in the water. It was intriguing to see both the Perfects together. They hardly seemed to speak to each other.
‘I think Andy’s got a crush on me,’ she whispered. ‘Now I’m wondering if it’s my fault. I mean, I have confided in him. Quite a lot. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done. Maybe he thought I was leading him on.’
‘Possibly,’ said Vanessa quietly as they walked towards the little gate that led down to the sea. ‘It can be so easy to give the wrong impression in life, can’t it? Look, I hope you don’t mind me changing the subject but there’s something I need to run past you.’
She’d known something wasn’t right. Vanessa had been really quiet and withdrawn, not just on the way down but ever since they’d been here. Bobbie had presumed it was because the older woman was still cross with her. Now, looking at her pale face and shaking hands, she wondered if it was something else.
‘I won’t tell anyone,’ she said, patting the space on the bench next to her. ‘Not unless they make me play another party game.’
Actually, that wasn’t funny.
‘I got two letters this morning, just before we left. One was the result of the DNA.’
Bobbie frowned. ‘What DNA?’
‘Some awful boy in the town claims he’s Sunshine’s father so I agreed to a test.’
No!
‘It’s all right. She’s not his. So he can’t claim any rights.’
The significance began to sink in. ‘Thank goodness for that.’
‘The second letter was from the hospital.’
‘To do with the DNA?’
‘No.’ Vanessa looked away. ‘To do with me. Five years ago, I had cancer.’
Cancer? But Vanessa always looked so well. Bobbie’s blood froze. ‘And you’ve got it again?’
Vanessa shrugged. ‘Possibly. I found a lump. In the “good” breast. The tests so far have proved inconclusive. But they’ve suggested I have it out.’
That was awful! Hadn’t her friend got enough on her plate already? ‘If there’s anything I can do, please tell me, won’t you?’
‘That’s the thing.’ Vanessa’s voice was tight. As though she was trying not to cry. ‘I’m worried that social services might try and take Sunshine away when I go into hospital to have the lump removed. If it proves malignant, I could be there for quite a while.’
‘She can stay with us.’ Bobbie pulled the older woman towards her, wrapping her arms around her. ‘If necessary, I’ll hide her. Well, not seriously, obviously. But I promise you, Vanessa. No one will take Sunshine away from you. I won’t let them.’
Vanessa smiled thinly. ‘That’s what Brian said. But let’s be honest, Bobbie. If they want to do that, they can. My lawyer says it might be difficult to stop them.’
‘I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN, JULIUS! YOU HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN BEFORE GOING ON THE TRAMPOLINE!’
They both looked up at the noise from across the lawn. A mother with thick glasses was getting quite cross. ‘Maybe’, Bobbie said slowly, ‘it’s worth getting a second opinion. Did you know that woman over there is a lawyer?’
Impressed, Vanessa tried to get a better look. The woman who was losing her rag?
‘There you are!’
Bobbie jumped at the sound of the cross, angry voice. Was it directed at her? She took in the rough man with the bald head and neck tattoos who was heading straight for her. ‘Just remembered where I’ve seen you! Knew it would come to me in the end.’ His piggy eyes were red with fury. ‘You’re the silly bitch what left her kids in the car, wasn’t you? On that hill. If it hadn’t been for me, they could have got killed when they let off the handbrake.’
Oh God. So that’s why his face had been familiar. ‘It wasn’t as bad as it sounds,’ she started to say, turning to Vanessa. ‘And Sunshine wasn’t in the car. I promise. I only dashed into a shop for a minute. I thought they’d be all right.’
But her friend just gave her a disappointed look. And then walked away, shaking her head ruefully. Bobbie sighed; sometimes Vanessa could be very irritating. Then again, no doubt she was the same at times. Perhaps adults were no wiser than kids …
*
By the time it came to supper, everyone seemed to have fallen into little groups. Audrey from the older class was flirting loudly, gin in hand, with the Greg Wise lookalike in a leather jacket, who turned out to be married to American Express. The latter was openly breastfeeding on the sofa opposite.
‘I wish she wouldn’t do that,’ snapped the woman who always wore gym kit and a sweat band. ‘Nigel can’t take his eyes off her. It’s not as though my husband needs any encouragement. I’m going to complain to Andy.’
‘Me too.’ Battered Mum was looking upset. ‘I thought we’d agreed that everything we said in class was confidential.’
‘It was,’ nodded Jilly.
‘Then how come everyone from your group seems to know that my children hit me? How do they know I haven’t just fallen over?’
‘You’d need to be pretty clumsy to do it all the time,’ shrugged Sweat Band Mum. ‘By the way, I heard a bit of gossip just now. Mrs Perfect, as I call her, was having a quiet word with the mum in our group who’s a lawyer. She was asking for a definition of unreasonable behaviour. What do you think of that?’
There was enough here to write a novel! But this was real life. Complicated. Confusing.
If only Vanessa would understand about Jack and the handbrake, but her friend still had a disapproving air about her. Frankly, Bobbie didn’t blame her. Why was it that you did stuff as a parent that seemed acceptable at the time but then, when something went wrong, you realised you’d made the wrong decision? It wasn’t like making a mistake at work. There were little people at stake here. If you messed them up, as Larkin had pointed out, you mucked them up for ever. Affected the way that they would be parents. On and on it would go, a pattern that would last throughout the generations.
‘Nothing like the sea air,’ commented Matthew wistfully, taking a seat beside her. ‘Lottie and I have often thought about moving down to the coast. But it’s a big step, isn’t it?’
Meanwhile, the teenagers had cooked dinner: there were quite a few of them, including Rob’s nieces who were being really sweet with the younger children. ‘Who’d like to give me a hand?’ Mel was saying. ‘Well done, Daisy and Jack! That’s brilliant.’
But both girls were ignoring Bobbie. They were being cool with their father too, she noticed.
Finally supper was ready, and they all gathered in the dining room.
‘Wow! This is good,’ said Bohemian Mum as they all tucked in. It was too. Mushroom stroganoff for the veggies and chicken supreme for the others.
‘Ugh! Who’s made a smell?’ piped up Lottie.
‘It’s Pongo.’
‘No it’s not, Jack!’ Nattie tickled him. ‘It’s you!’
Not Really Pregnant Mum nudged B
obbie in the ribs. ‘Ever thought of putting him on a gluten-free diet? I can give you some tips if you like.’
Mr and Mrs Perfect and Mel were almost as loud as the other side of the table.
‘Don’t let him put salt on his food!’
‘You try and stop him!’
So much for Mr and Mrs Perfect!
‘Stop kicking your mother like that!’
This was Mel, talking to one of Battered Mum’s kids.
‘I’m not.’
‘Yes you are. I’ve seen the bruises. If you don’t stop right now, you little squirt, I’m going to tell my boyfriend. He’ll sort you out.’
Wow! Nothing like peer pressure!
After dinner, someone suggested a ‘good old-fashioned board game’. There was a general consensus of moaning at this from the adults, who crashed out in front of a Tom Hanks DVD that someone had brought. But to Bobbie’s surprise, Mel and Nattie, along with the other teens, got the kids round a Monopoly board and turned up the volume on Andy and Pamela’s high-tech music system.
‘Let’s have teams!’ called out a rather good-looking boy who belonged to Too Many Kids Mum.
Instantly, Daisy and Sunshine clung to Nattie. ‘We three want to be together!’
So sweet! Yet heart-breaking at the same time. Poor Vanessa, not knowing what was going to happen to Sunshine. And what about her own family? What would happen to them if she and Rob couldn’t make it work?
‘Where’s Jack? We need him!’
Oh my God. How could she have taken her eyes off him! It was being somewhere new, that’s what it was. Too easy to get distracted. ‘Jack? JACK?’
‘He’s at the front door,’ someone sang out.
Probably trying to escape! Or skateboarding on the road again. Forcing herself up – she’d forgotten how tired pregnancy made you feel – Bobbie wandered out into the hall. There was the sound of voices. A woman’s voice. So familiar that, for a moment, she could hardly believe it.