She danced out of his reach, trying to remember her karate lessons from long ago. But they’d been practiced in a large room with plenty of space to maneuver, not in the narrow confines of the few feet between her car and someone’s truck.
A familiar male voice called out, “Back away, bud, and maybe I won’t hurt you much. Your only warning.”
The man grabbed Paula’s wrist again.
JD charged at her attacker and laid him out flat with a solid punch.
He stood over the man, open rage contorting his face. “Get up, so I can hit you again, you piece of crap.”
The man who’d attacked her was short and scrawny, not tall and muscular like JD. Her attacker must have realized he was no match for her protector. He scrambled up and backed away. Then he took off running.
JD dropped his fists.
Paula couldn’t stop shaking. JD’s harsh voice said, “Get in the car.”
She couldn’t open her car door. Her fingers trembled too much.
He motioned that she should go to the passenger side. He followed her around and opened the door for her, but he didn’t touch her. “Give me your keys,” he said. “I’ll drive.”
She sank into the seat. JD swung into the driver’s seat. He didn’t have his crutches with him.
No one said anything for a minute.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” he said heavily. “My fault.”
“What happens now, JD?” she asked in a low voice. “You said you didn’t want to see me ever again, yet you followed me. You came to my rescue. Where do we go from here?”
“Back to the hospital.”
Her heart dropped as he set the car in motion. This was the end of it, then. As they cruised the quiet streets, she swallowed a lump in her throat. “Thanks for coming after me.” Such mundane words. He’d saved her from a nasty attack. Why had he done it? After what he had said to her at the hospital, she’d never expected to see him again.
***
JD pulled the car into a well-lit spot in the hospital parking lot, and turned off the engine. He couldn’t leave Paula without telling her the truth. He sat silently for a while, not making a move to get out.
Finally, he said, “We have to talk.”
“No, I—”
He interrupted her. “I knew where Tess had gone. I should have told you, but I was being a bastard, just the way I’ve been all along.”
“Where is she?”
JD told Paula everything from Tess’s happy phone call. Joy and relief came over Paula’s face.
“She finally got up the courage to break free. How wonderful.” Paula’s tears flowed but she smiled. “After all she’s suffered.”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his bristly head of hair. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten another buzz cut at the hospital. He wasn’t a soldier anymore.
“You made me feel like a heel, Paula. You always do. You bring out the worst in me. I’m the one to blame for my sister’s misery. I knew it all along. I’m not stupid. But I was caught up in my own pain.”
“All anybody wanted was for you to recover. You had a hard road and your family walked it with you.”
“You’re trying to excuse me.”
“Maybe I am.” She shrugged. “Poor Anita. We should call her. Tell her where Tess is.”
“Already did. Told Mom to back off and let Tess have space to breathe. Didn’t give her the landline number for Addie’s parents. Tess can take a cell call if she chooses, or let it go.”
“How did Tess sound?”
“Happy. Excited. Her voice was singing with it.”
“I hope she makes it big.” She heaved a sigh. “I’ll be glad not to visit any more of Cheyenne’s bars.”
“You shouldn’t have risked yourself over Tess,” he said.
“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “As if I could stop myself from trying to help my girl.”
He was silent for another minute, getting up the courage to be square with her about the rest. “Guess I’ve decided I can help, too. I called Baron and promised to send Rolf back to do the day-to-day running of the ranch. Rolf grew up on a ranch. He can handle it. Then I’m going to invite guys from the old battalion, and some new guys from here.” He gestured toward the hospital. “I’ve got plans to open a therapy ranch, using a couple of the empty ranch houses.”
“It sounds wonderful,” she said. “Are you going to get therapy for yourself?”
“Therapy won’t bring my body parts back,” he said. He raised his hand as a reminder in the half-dark of the car.
“I’m sorry about your losses.” She sighed. “But don’t you get it yet? You came home alive. You’ve recovered from your physical injuries more than the doctors believed was possible. You’ve been seeing the glass half-empty when you should have been seeing it half-full.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I know you lost some close buddies. Have you ever talked to a psychologist about what you can do to make peace with your good fortune?”
“There’s nothing they can do,” he said, as he had many times before. Tonight, his rote denial rang hollow in his ears.
She moved impatiently. “I don’t believe that. I’ve read about returned soldiers who try talk therapy, and exposure therapy. There even are people who form support groups for each other, who use exercise and other methods. Have you tried every single thing?”
“No. They aren’t going to work anyway.” Yet Miss Tanisha claimed different, that his middle-of-the-night visits helped others. Why not him, too?
“You’re holding back because you feel guilty for surviving when others didn’t,” she said.
He winced. That hit a sore spot. “You think I can just miraculously forget?”
“No, of course I don’t.”
“Sure you do. Every psychologist at the VA wants us vets to just pack away the brutal memories and get on with life—as if we’re normal guys whose worst experience ever was a sour latte.”
“You’re back to pitying yourself. Nobody has a perfect life, don’t you understand? Nobody.” Her tone of voice was fierce.
He said nothing.
She shifted in her seat. “You think I don’t get it, don’t you?”
“Probably not.”
“I know you think I’m just some rich girl who floats through life. I’ve got stuff I’d rather forget. Everybody has. If it bothers us enough, we try to do something about it.
“Let me tell you a story, JD. I’ve always wanted to, but I guess it never seemed the right moment. You may have wondered why I love flying so much. Going up there makes me feel light and free, and I need that. When I was a little girl, I contracted a rare disease. For a year, I lay in a hospital bed. At first, I was fighting to live. Then, when that crisis was over, I couldn’t walk.”
He cursed.
“The truth. I am not making this up. I was unable to walk from the age of seven to age eight, when I finally learned how to all over again. But let me tell you, I walked pretty badly that first year. I lurched. I fell down. I wore ugly metal braces and used crutches. I was a laughingstock in school when I finally got back there. Kids are cruel. I’d fallen behind and had to repeat two years. I was totally socially out of synch with the other kids, which made it even harder. My dad took me up in a plane and I felt free at last.”
“What’s your point?” he asked, not wanting to think about self-confident Paula as a picked-on kid.
“I recovered, and you can, too.” She reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. Unzipping it, she found the photo section and pulled out a worn snapshot. She flipped on the car’s interior lights, so he could see the photo clearly. “This was me, then.”
It was a little girl with dark eyes and dark hair. She stood with metal braces on her legs and leaned on crutches. The eyes were the same as the eyes in his dreams.
How could he have not realized that Paula’s eyes were the same?
Suddenly, he was back in the midst of it. He saw the woman and called to Rob to s
top the Humvee. Rob gave the signal to stop. He and Rob hopped out and went over to her. At first she was holding the little girl’s hand. Then she dropped her hand, so the child reached out and clung to her mother’s black robe instead. The woman’s arms were both out in supplication now. Then, just as he and Rob reached them, the woman put a hand under her robe. The world blew up. Body parts flew obscenely as blood splattered all over him and he got hit.
“JD! JD!” Paula had her arms around him. “You’re here. You’re safe. It’s over.”
He breathed heavily as her murmurs continued to anchor him in present reality. Finally, he could speak again. “That was a big one. Relived the whole scene.”
She appeared shocked that he’d admitted it. He put one hand on her cheek. The hand that was missing two fingers. Her skin felt smooth and warm. He dipped his head and kissed her lips.
“Thanks.”
He’d meant it to be just a brief contact, but the moment he touched her soft, resilient lips, he wanted more. Electricity arced between them and he gathered her as closely in his arms as he could with the gear shift between them. He put a hand on her breasts and she moaned.
“JD, you’re torturing me. I thought you hated me.”
He put his head between her breasts, kissing and nipping at their smooth flesh.
“I do. Hate you for making me want like this.” He raised up and kissed her lips again. Finally, he pulled back, still holding the nape of her neck. Her dark eyes sparkled in the light from the parking lot lamps. She touched his face, and put her fingers tentatively on his lips.
“Do—do you mean this?” she asked in a whisper. “You’re not just—just toying with my emotions again?”
He pulled away and rested his head on the whiplash protector. “I deserved that. I can’t make any promises right now. Come visit me day after tomorrow. Friday. We’ll talk then.”
He got out of the car swiftly, so he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her some more. Her lips were so sweet. The sweetest he’d ever tasted.
“JD!” she cried.
He leaned down and spoke through the open door. “I’m sorry about what I did. Go home now. Come see me on Friday. Not tomorrow.”
He hoped he’d be alive on Friday. The pain in his gut kept increasing.
He turned to enter the hospital and the pain suddenly knifed him. He went down on his knees. Paula’s cry of alarm came from a distance. He tried to focus on the sound of her car door opening but the pain was rising intensely. His gut was on fire. Then her arms were around him and she was screaming for help. Her screams faded and he knew no more.
Chapter 23
Paula sat in the waiting room for hours. She hadn’t called Anita. Paula had been told to leave JD’s side in the ER. When she’d seen them wheel his bed down the hall the other way in a hurry, she’d leaped up and run to the nursing counter to ask why. Lucky for her, a nurse who knew her from visiting here for months took pity on her. “You’re his girlfriend, right?” she asked.
Paula nodded, a lump in her throat. “Please tell me what’s happening. Please.”
“His operation was scheduled for tomorrow morning but they’ve called the surgeon and he’s coming in now.”
Paula felt her eyes go wide. “What operation?” she asked, in a terrified whisper.
“Shrapnel removal. A piece has been moving toward JD’s vital organs. You’ll have to ask the doctor for details.”
The nurse directed her to the surgery waiting room and promised to let the surgeon know she’d be awaiting news, representing the family.
“My advice is get his mother on the phone when the surgeon comes out, so he can legally tell you what’s up.”
Paula nodded. “How long does the operation take?”
The nurse shrugged. “As long as it needs to. They won’t know how much damage has been done until they open him up.”
Paula winced.
“Don’t worry,” the nurse said. “The doc will fix him.”
Paula waited. The night turned into dawn, and still she waited. She was the only one in the waiting room because most surgeries here weren’t emergencies. Finally, a middle-aged man in scrubs appeared.
“Are you JD’s next of kin?”
“I’m his—I’m his girlfriend,” she said in a stronger voice. “But I can get his mother on the phone for you right now,” she offered.
He shook his head. “Do her a kindness and wait a few hours. Then have her call my office for details. He stood the operation well. We got all the shrapnel out and no organs were damaged. That’s all you need to know, am I right?”
She nodded, smiling in relief. “Yes.” She thanked him.
After telling her JD would be in recovery for the next few hours, he went back in.
Paula couldn’t visit JD in recovery since she wasn’t on the list of relatives. She doubted he’d want to see her there anyway. He’d told her to come back tomorrow, the day after his operation had been scheduled. He’d have been over the worst of the post-op pain by then, and off the pain drugs, too. She wanted to see him now. She wanted to stay and be near him. But she would do as he asked, honor his desire to have things his way.
She drove home and went to bed, setting her alarm to wake her in three hours. When the alarm buzzed, she dragged herself upright and called Anita. After they’d talked through Anita’s shock and dismay, Paula tried to go back to sleep. She couldn’t.
JD had kissed her. He’d hinted that he cared. He’d mentioned promises. Was it possible that her dream could come true after all?
***
JD woke in recovery, groggy from the drugs. He was back in his old room before he realized what was different this time around. No one in the family knew about the operation, and he’d told Paula to stay away. For once, she’d done what he asked.
He had to get out of this hospital. He’d fallen back into his old ways when Paula visited him yesterday. He’d behaved like a jerk, refusing to set her mind at ease over Tess. It was his fault Paula had been attacked at Blackie’s. She deserved better from him.
After the doc visited to tell him everything was fine, JD had another revelation. He wanted Paula in his life. She was a fighter, and she believed in him. She’d daringly abducted him to spur him to move on with his life, and she’d been right to do it. She never gave up, no matter how rotten he’d been to her. She was brave, and loyal, a woman worth laying aside his macho pride for. He loved her.
Chapter 24
JD was dozing, but he woke when Paula stepped into his room the next afternoon. He smiled at her. “Sorry I gave you a scare.”
Paula smiled back, very tentatively. Clearly, she was unsure of her welcome. He’d had plenty of time in the last twenty-four hours to think about Paula. Think about where she fit into his future plans. “Come here,” he said, beckoning.
She moved toward him like a fawn, looking easy to startle away. When she was close enough, he grasped her arm below the elbow and gently pulled her down to him.
She still looked fearful. She’d forgotten their kisses in her car. She only remembered him ripping up at her. What a jerk he’d been.
“Kiss me,” he demanded.
Her eyes grew wide.
“C’mon. I dare you,” he said, feeling his mouth quirk in the beginning of his old cocky grin.
He saw the sudden light come into her eyes. She leaned down and kissed him.
He put his hand on her neck and pulled her closer to ravish her mouth.
A while later, he’d convinced Paula to lie in the bed next to him, although she gingerly avoided touching where he’d had the surgery. He wasn’t being so careful about touching her. His hands roamed her body, caressing her through her clothes. He had her blouse half open so he could kiss her luscious breasts.
He sighed contentedly. “This is the life. In bed with a hot woman and I can’t do anything about it for another couple of weeks.”
“That long?”
“Do you want me to collapse while we’re at City Hall getting our
marriage license?”
She looked stunned. Her mouth opened in an O. He took the opportunity to kiss her and slip his tongue inside her softness. The resulting thrill throughout his body made his wound hurt.
“Dang,” he said. “Got to ease up on this until I heal a little more.”
“Let me do the work,” she whispered, touching his ear with her tongue and then giving his earlobe a soft nip.
He shuddered with pleasure and pain. “No more. I’m getting all hot and bothered. Can’t do anything about it for a while.”
“How long before you can leave?” she asked.
“A week. The VA likes me. They want to keep me around. This time I’m leaving for good.”
“That’s wonderful. Where are you going?”
He looked at her, letting her see his feelings. “That’s up to you.” He threaded his fingers through her dark hair. “Figure I’ve got two choices. One, I could take over Tess’s empty condo, and suffer my mother barging in at all hours to smother me with love. Or two,” he grinned at her confidently, “I could live with you for a while until we figure out when to get married and when to move to the ranch.”
Her expression was shocked, but excited. “I like the part about getting married.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not the part about moving to the ranch.”
“Would you rather not get married for a year or two?”
“Why so long?”
“I’m planning to take the entire load off Baron’s shoulders. I’m going back to live at the ranch and get it all organized so Rolf can run his share and I’ll do the executive stuff.”
“What about those veterans’ ranches you talked about?”
“To start them up, I’ll have to travel, talk to veterans’ associations to see about grants or other funding, and find the right psychologists and other medical personnel to come live out there, too.”
He went on about the details at length. Paula asked questions about the financial aspects, and made some suggestions about ways to get funding and to pay employees. Finally, she pronounced, “It sounds very worthwhile, plus, you’ve thought it out well. If you draw up a proposal and a business plan, I could help find funding for your enterprise.”
Saving the Soldier (Selkirk Family Ranch Book 2) Page 16