by A. R. Wise
"Kim," I said as I aimed the shotgun at his head. "Close your eyes."
TO BE CONTINUED
AUTHOR'S NOTE
After finishing the first part of Deadlocked, I knew that I wanted to move on to Laura as my main character for part two. My first inclination was to tell her story starting from the very beginning of the same day. I planned to send her and the girls onto the roof of their house when the neighbors attacked. After that, I was going to tell the story of the first part from Laura's viewpoint and explore her feelings as David sacrificed himself on the dock. Then my plan changed completely.
While it would've been an interesting exercise in writing to delve into Laura's head through those events, I felt like you, the reader, deserved an entirely new story with a conclusion you couldn't predict. I hope I achieved that goal.
The first Deadlocked was the story of David's struggle to protect his family. I wrote that novella as if David was preparing to die from the cancer he just discovered was inside him. His goal was to make sure his family was protected after he died, just like a terminal patient might help their family prepare financially, and emotionally, for his death. That was the central theme of the first part of the series.
In this part, I tried to delve into the mind of the survivor. Laura represents the emotionally wrecked widow following the untimely death of her spouse. Her struggle here is largely one of stepping into the male's position of protector within her family structure. Now, not only did she need to nurture her daughters, but she would have to protect them as well.
Laura's arc in this story was of a woman turning from a timid, gentle figure into a beastly warrior bent upon the protection of her family. She flirts with the idea of allowing another male into her circle, and Billy represents that foreign influence, but she ultimately must do everything on her own. Where the story diverges from an analogy to losing one's spouse is when Laura is forced to sink to a level of depravity that no one could have predicted.
There are several parts of the story that I would like to point out. First is the description of the zombie girl that attacked David on the dock.
Blood cascaded out of her mouth and splashed against the dock as she moved toward me. Her face was beaten, her body sliced, and there was nothing left of the woman she once was except the vague phantom of beauty now shrouded by horror. She would consume me.
Not only does this describe the scene on the dock, but it is also a description of Laura from the viewpoint of Ron at the end of the story. I tried to use that creature as foreshadowing for what I was going to do to Laura. Admittedly, I also tried to fool you into thinking I was going to kill her off several times as well. Sorry about that.
Second, the end of Chapter 4 - Washed The Spider Out still creeps me out. I feel like that chapter came together well. If you paid attention to the title, and then got to the scene of them singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song in the boat as the bodies crashed down around them, the chapter title's significance seems obvious. However, when Laura realizes that Annie had been washed out into the bay, it hits home. I still get chills thinking about the last line of that chapter.
Third, Laura's leap into Hailey's Bay to save Annie was a direct tie in to David's Leap from the bridge in the first story. The sight of people jumping off of the bridge into the water is meant to remind the reader of David's leap and then we are sent into Laura's traumatic event. The parallel scenes even involve something from under the water grabbing at their feet and them pulling their clothes off to escape drowning. I wanted this scene to signal a similar change in the characters in both stories. At this point, midway through the story, the character is forced to deal with a terrifying ordeal to make it to their family. Before this, they both harbored uncertainties about what they would do to accomplish their goals, but afterward they are steeled beyond anything they thought possible.
Fourth, Laura's cannibalism of the zombie on the street outside of the pharmacy was one of the most heart wrenching things I've ever written. My original plan was for the two fake cops, Ron and Dave, to show up and rescue her from the creature before then turning on her and revealing their evil nature. Then, just as I was about to write the scene, I realized I couldn't do that. To have her rescued that deep into the story was a cop out (no pun intended). I believe there is nothing worse in a story than a deus ex machina that saves a character. These sorts of wondrous events are forgivable when they occur early in a story, but if they come late (as it would have here) the reader feels cheated, and rightfully so. As Laura lay on the pavement with the creature climbing up her leg to consume her, I had to force her to come up with a way to stay alive.
Then, once she had chewed him apart and thrown his severed head down the street, I sat back and applauded her. It was vicious, disgusting, putrid, and disturbing, but the scene puts the reader into the exact frame of mind that you need to be in to accept the very end of the story. Laura had become something different, something abhorrent, and perhaps even fiendish. Once she commits this act, we understand there is nothing that can stop her from saving her children.
Finally, I truly struggled with the final sentence. I spent an entire day driving around, listening to loud music as I sorted out the details to end this story. I tortured myself over the degradation of Laura's character, and sanity, to bring her to the point of murder. I wanted her to be the good guy, but she didn't belong to me anymore.
I've heard many, many writers express how it is their characters that write themselves, and I've always taken that phrase with a massive grain of salt. I intricately plan out the final scene of my stories so that I can foreshadow them, and the idea of willfully tagging along with a fictional character as they push their way through my narrative seemed a sure fire way to write a bad story. Then Laura took over this story. After what I did to her, on the dock of the bay, under that bridge, in the freezing water, on the street outside of the pharmacy, and behind that counter, I owed it to her to hand the story over.
So, did Laura kill Ron?
You'll have to wait to find out.
What's Next?
Deadlocked 3 will delve into Billy's story. It will pick up as he leaves the Johnston Salvage Yard on the dirt bike to head into the city to find his mother. Part one dealt with a father's desire to provide for his family. Part two was a mother's struggle to protect them. Part three will be about a son's desire to make his parents proud.
There has been an underlying plot throughout the first two stories that has hinted at a cold, military decision to isolate the city, which will be a big focus of part three. Then, a lot will be revealed as to who the fake cops that have plagued all the characters of the stories actually are. This will all lead up to a climactic finale in part 4, where all will be revealed.
Thanks for reading this, and I hope you continue on with the series. You can learn more about Deadlocked and my other works (including the Vampire's Prey series!) at my website, www.arwisebooks.com.