Finding My Way

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Finding My Way Page 6

by Heidi McLaughlin


  “We’re here.” His voice is gruff and full of anger. The University of Alabama is not on his radar, but they’re on mine. We get out and he straightens his jacket immediately, sucking in his gut as a group of girls walk by. I shake my head and walk ahead of him.

  “Now any one of those girls is worth bringing home.”

  I stop and look at their retreating backsides. “Really? They’re colors are crimson and white and I thought for sure you only saw blue and orange.”

  “You’re looking at this the wrong, Liam. If you go to Auburn, you’ll have special liberties that others won’t.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t want special liberties. I want to earn my achievements on my own merit. And I don’t want one of those.” I point to the girls. “What makes them any better, huh?”

  “They’re here getting an education.”

  “So? Josie’s going to college.”

  He scoffs. “She’s waiting until the right moment to get pregnant so you have to support her for the next eighteen years.” He walks away before I can give a rebuttal, which is probably for the best because the next thing out of my mouth would’ve been, “so what if she is” and something tells me that Sterling wouldn’t appreciate that too much.

  Chapter 13

  Being called out of class and told to report to the principal’s office is never a good feeling. I rack my brain as I walk to the office. I know I’m passing all my classes and all my absences from this week have been excused. I can’t imagine that I’ve done something so wrong that I’d have to meet with the principal.

  I open the door to the office and stand at the counter while the secretary files her nails. She looks up, snapping her lips as if she’s moving her false teeth back and forth. Why they keep her around is beyond me. You can’t understand her when she talks and her hearing is too far gone to hear the phone ring. She motions for me to go into the office, not even calling the principal and tell her I’m coming.

  I knock once and open the door. Mrs. Craft is sitting behind her desk, her head down and fingers flipping through a magazine. “Mrs. Craft I got a message to see you.”

  She looks up and smiles. “Oh yes, Liam, come in and sit down.” I do as she asks. I bite my lip and wait for her to deliver the bad news. Only she doesn’t. She continues to look through her magazine while I sit across from her not knowing what’s going on.

  The door opens. I turn and see my coach walk in. He’s not smiling and that puts me on edge. His normal smile when he sees me is gone. I don’t even know what to think or what I’ve done to be called down here. He nods in my direction and steps aside so a man in a dark blue business suit can enter.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, my nerves on edge.

  “Liam,” Mrs. Craft says. “Coach Randall has some news.”

  I turn in my chair and look at my coach for some help here. He smiles and while that would normally put me at ease, it doesn’t help with my anxiety. “Liam, I’ve never had a player like you and I probably never will. Last year you came so close to making the cover of Sports Illustrated that when they called this year I did everything I could to make it happen. Son, let me introduce you to Chris Bailey, he’s a sports writer and he’s here to interview you.”

  I stand and shake his hand, probably a bit too eagerly. This has been a dream of mine since they started profiling high school students.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Bailey.”

  “You too, Liam, but please call me Chris. Do you need your parents here while we do the interview?”

  Hell no, I want to yell, but don’t. “No, Sir, Coach can stay.”

  “All right well let’s get started, shall we?”

  The three of us move Mrs. Craft’s chairs into a circle and start talking. I like that coach stayed here with me and made sure I didn’t answer anything I wasn’t supposed to. To be honest, I was nervous the whole time, but when Mr. Bailey said he had everything and would be sending a photographer to take my pictures I think I smiled so big that I stretched the muscles in my face to permanently look like this.

  As soon as I leave the office, the class bell rings. I rush to meet Josie. I’m excited to share the news with her.

  “Guess what?” I say as I wrap my arms around her. I nuzzle her neck, disrupting her attempt at putting her books away.

  “What?”

  “Someone is going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.”

  Josie pauses and turns slowly. Her face lights up as her arms come around my neck. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without my girl,” I say, kissing her full on the lips. She tenses, afraid to get caught, but I’ll take the blame if we do. They can suspend me for all I care. I need to kiss my girl.

  “We should go celebrate,” she says, pulling away.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. She smacks me in the chest. I can’t help it. She’s sexy and she turns me on. But she wants it too. She shrugs and pushes her fingers into my hair, adding more pressure where my hair was recently shaved. I close my eyes and relish in the massage she’s giving me.

  “Are your parents’ home?” I look into her blue eyes and see the answer before she shakes her head. I don’t say anything as I slam her locker shut and pull her down the hall.

  “Want to go meet Mason and Katelyn?” Josie plays with the hair on my arm, her fingers rubbing up and down along my skin.

  “I guess we should do something before your parents get home.”

  “You mean like get dressed?” she laughs and rolls over in my arms. “I’m very proud of you, Liam. You set your goals and you’re achieving each one of them.”

  “I couldn’t do it without you, Jojo.” I angle my head so I can kiss her deeply. When our tongues meet I have to control myself from picking up where we left off. Her parents may know we have sex, but getting caught by them isn’t something I’m comfortable with. “We should get dressed,” I say, in between the soft kisses I place on and around her lips. My hand slides down her body and slaps her ass. She smiles against my mouth before moving away.

  “You’re trouble, Liam Westbury.” She stands next to her bed, naked as the day she was born. She watches me watch her and all I can think is what it’s going to be like to wake up to her every day. I need to find the courage to ask her to follow me to college because I don’t want to be away from her. I won’t be able to handle it. Right now, she’s the only person keeping me grounded.

  Once she’s dressed, I finally move. Allowing my eyes to take in every one of her moves is bad news for me. I have to turn away from her, not so she can’t see what she does to me, but so she won’t ask to take care of me. We can pick this up later. Right now I want to take her out. Treat her right. Aside from homecoming, we haven’t been out on a date in a while. Football takes up so much of my time that it limits what I’m allowed to do, but not tonight. Tonight I’m going to hang out with my friends. Maybe catch a movie, have some dinner and just relax. There will be no need to talk about the future, football or what’s looming in front of us… the high school championship game.

  As soon as my clothes are on, Josie and I are out the door and on our way to meet Mason and Katelyn at Deb’s. It’s an old diner that my parents hate and will probably ream me out for even stepping foot in, but the food is good and she doesn’t skimp on quantity. It’s the perfect place for growing men like Mason and myself.

  When Josie and I walk in, Deb waves and motions to the booth where Katelyn and Mason are huddled in the corner. Sometimes, when I look at them, I think something’s up. Like they’re hiding something. If they are, I’m sure they’d tell us though, so I really need to stop letting my imagination run wild. I have no doubt they think the same thing about Josie and me.

  Deb takes our order as soon as we sit down. We’ve been here so many times we have the menu memorized. My girl is tucked into my side with my arm resting on her shoulder. This feels good. It feels right. If I can stay like this forever, I’d have no
worries.

  “What are you both giggling about?” I ask, breaking up Katelyn and Mason’s interactions.

  “Nothing,” he replies, as he kisses her on her forehead. “We’ve just been planning the future.” I roll my eyes and pick up the glass of water in front of me. The future is the last thing I want to talk about.

  “Oh, I love the future talk. Tell me, what are we doing?” Josie asks.

  Always ‘we’ never just ‘them’. We’re the foursome that’s destined to be together for the rest of our lives. It shouldn’t matter to me, but a little separation in life isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It allows us to grow, even though I know it’s not what I want. They’re my family. This is where I want to be.

  “Well we were just thinking that it’d be nice if the guys got accepted to the same school and we could all go together,” Katelyn says. I agree with her, I’d love it. I’d give anything to continue to play with Mason for another four years. With me at the helm and the right blocking, we’d be unstoppable.

  “Oh we could have a double wedding,” Josie adds. I almost choke on my water and have to try to hold in my coughing attack. I know I said I was going to marry her… someday, but I never said anything about planning a wedding.

  “A football wedding is a must,” Mason adds. I shake my head and wonder what goes through his mind. He’s so whipped it’s not even funny. I know I am too, but I’m not about to start talking weddings and shit and I definitely don’t want a football themed wedding. I want to see my girl have the fairytale wedding she deserves.

  “Speaking of football,” Mason starts. “We have one game left Westbury, and I need one hundred yards. I’m going to get it, right? I mean I’m getting some decent looks and all, but I think that record just sets the bar a little higher…” I zone him out. Because the pressure of everyone’s expectations resting on my shoulders that I’ve been feeling every day, where my head is about to explode, is now back. I want one night with my friends where the word football isn’t discussed. I want one night where I can just be Liam, boyfriend to Josie and best friend to Mason, instead of Liam, QB1 of Beaumont High about to play for an unprecedented fourth state title.

  I know it’s probably too much to ask, but it’s what I want. I smile at Mason and nod. “You’ll get it man. It’s just a hundred yards, no biggie.”

  Josie beams at me and leans in for a kiss. “You’re the best, you know that, right?” I nod, but don’t feel that way. I want her to tell me I’m the best because she loves me for me, not for what I’m about to do for Mason.

  Chapter 14

  Horns are honking. Kids are yelling. I know the minute I appear at my window, I’ll have to go down there and join them. My teammates are outside, pumped for today’s game. This has become tradition, showing up at each other’s houses at the crack of dawn. The whole town is ready for tonight. So am I. This is what I dreamed of when I was in middle school and now this is my chance to play for my fourth title. It doesn’t mean anything less, that this is my fourth, if anything it means more. This will be my last night taking the helm behind center in a Beaumont uniform. My last night taking a snap under the Friday night lights and I’m ready.

  I open my blinds and the yelling gets louder. Some of the guys are in my yard, putting up a sign and the others are standing in the back of Mason’s truck, all wearing their jerseys. The cheerleaders are in front of and behind them in trucks, singing our school fight song. I wave, letting them know that I’ll be down. I grab my jersey from my bed and slip it on before heading down the stairs. I jump down the last three, much like I used to do when I was younger.

  “Where are you going so early?”

  I freeze at the sound of Sterling’s voice coming from behind me.

  “It’s game day,” I answer curtly, without turning around so he can’t see the look of annoyance on my face. I really wish he’d just stay in his office and not talk to me. If he did that, my life would be a little bit less stressful. “We’ve been doing it this way since my freshman year.”

  Sterling huffs. “Tomorrow things change around here. Hal sent me the team’s workout; you’ll be starting that first thing.”

  I close my eyes and count to ten. It’s the only way I’ll stay calm. “I’m not going to Auburn,” I say, weakly.

  “What’d you say, boy? I don’t think I heard you.”

  Trying to keep my breathing normal and not lose my temper, I turn slowly to face my father. He’s standing there with his hands on his hips like an authoritarian. He won’t be paying for my college, yet no doubt he’s forgotten this fact. I’ve secured my future at any school I want because of my ability. Yes, he may have helped me achieve said ability, but I am where I am because of me. He’s not out night after night taking a pounding. He’s not busting his balls on the field to make sure his team is taken care of. That’s all me.

  I clear my throat and look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to Auburn, sir.” Sir was added for emphasis because he demands respect, which I never give him.

  “And you came up with this decision on your own, smart ass?”

  “Yes, I did. They don’t have a program I want to study.”

  “You’re going to the NFL, Liam. That’s the plan. Don’t you dare deviate now because you’re getting a little pussy and she wants you to stay around. Once you get to college the chicks will be spreading their legs every day for you if that’s what you want.”

  I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open them again, he’s glaring at me. “This has nothing to do with Josie. I want to go to a school that is right for me, not you. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you support me? Everything I’ve done, I’ve done because you made me. I’m not going to Auburn.”

  Sterling storms toward me, but I hold my ground. “In February, you will pick Auburn if you know what’s good for you.” He stalks away before I have a chance to say anything in rebuttal. I bang my fist against my head in frustration. Why can’t shit just be easy? It’s a fucking school for God sakes, nothing more, nothing less. Going to Auburn isn’t going to make or break my career in the NFL. Why can’t he see that?

  I take a deep breath and walk out the house, pasting a ridiculous smile on my face. As soon as I step out, Josie is on the ground, running to me. I catch her mid-stride and bring her into my arms, burying my head in her neck. I hold her to me, with her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms over my shoulders.

  “I heard him yelling,” she says, her voice muffled.

  “Don’t worry about him,” I tell her as I put her down. As soon as I look into her eyes, I can see that it’s bothering her and it should. For all I know she’ll reconsider marrying me because of him. Fuck, I would. Who wants to marry someone whose family doesn’t accept you?

  I hold her face in my hands, pressing my forehead against hers. “You can’t listen to him, Jojo. Promise me that you’ll never listen to a single thing that man says.”

  “I promise, Liam.”

  “Do you hear that crowd?” Mason yells at me before we leave the tunnel. This is it, our last game ever in high school. Mason is so close to breaking the state record for rushing yards. It’s going to happen in this game. It has to. I already broke the record for passing earlier, days after my Sports Illustrated cover came out.

  “Yeah man, I hear it. Crazy, right?”

  “There have to be more people than last year.”

  We aren’t supposed to be out of the locker room yet but I needed to see things one last time before I slip my helmet on. I want to take it all in because this is it. After tonight, win or lose, it’s done and my life changes. I wish I could go back and make time stop. Makes everything slow down, but I can’t.

  The smell of popcorn and hot dogs wafts through the air, making me hungry even though we had dinner already. We ate as a team, our last meal together. For some, we’ll never play together again, but for others they’ll move onto basketball and even baseball.

  The band becomes louder as the clock ticks down. In just a
few minutes I’ll be running out of this tunnel and will either make history tonight or go home with a second place trophy. Sadly, for the other team, second place isn’t going to cut it.

  I slap my girl’s ass as she passes by with her white, gold and red cheerleading skirt flipping up as she runs. She turns around and saunters up to me with that look in her eye. I know what she’s expecting and I plan to deliver, both on and off the field. Josie is everything I could ever want in partner, I just hate that I’m going to have to leave her. Not once have I considered schools close to home, mostly because of their coaching staff and records. I want to win when I’m at college. I want to be someone. If I stay close to home though, I can be with Josie. See her on the weekends once the season is over. Have her on campus with me. But my choice won’t keep me close to her. My only hope is that she’ll come with me wherever I go.

  “You know how sexy I think you are when you bite your lip? You have this look in your eyes, Liam. Do you have plans for us later?” she whispers into my ear, pulling on my earlobe. My focus is now solely on her instead of the game as her hand sneaks under my t-shirt. There is nothing better than her skin against mine.

  “Knock it off you two,” Mason teases us as he slaps me in the back of the head. “If you give him a stiffy during the game, some linebacker is going to break his pecker.”

  We all start laughing. She kisses me goodbye, telling me to kick ass. She’s never, in the years we’ve been together, wished me good luck, just to kick ass.

  I slip on my helmet just as we’re signaled to take the field. We run through the cheerleaders and the student body with pom poms in our face and hands slapping our backs. They’re pumped and ready for victory. Parents and fans are on their feet in the stands, yelling loudly.

  Mason and I go off to the side and warm-up. We’ve done it this way for as long as I can remember, always together. We have a routine and we aren’t about to break it now. As we throw the ball back and forth, my chest tightens. It’s almost over and it hasn’t even begun yet.

 

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