“Does anyone want anything?” Solas calls over his shoulder.
“Cigarettes!” I yell before he enters the store.
The digital numbers on the pump beep and reset to zero. I fill up the tank, and Solas comes back with a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and three bottles of water.
“Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I repeat, taking the pack from him and smacking it on the base of my palm a few times before unwrapping the cellophane. Tossing it into the trash, I light up the first cigarette I've had since leaving The Keep.
Cass washes the windshield and finishes pumping for me while I smoke, and Beck comes to stand next to me at the trunk of the car. “Who would’ve thought? What other tricks do you have up your sleeve?” he asks, referring to my driving skills.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see, huh?” I tease.
Solas joins my side, leaning against the trunk with his arms crossed over his chest, “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret making that wager with you?”
“Because you will,” I smile and flick my cigarette across the road. “Come on. We need to get going. We’re losing time!” I holler as I jump back into the driver’s seat. Cassius is already situated in his seat behind me, but Beckett stares at Solas for a tense few seconds, like he’s challenging him for the front seat. Beck relents and climbs into the back, and Solas joins me in the front as I start the car. What was that about? Pulling onto the highway, I speed off again with the radio blaring.
Another hour passes and Beckett mumbles from the back seat, “Shit.”
Red and blue lights flash in my mirrors. I feel the tension in the car building quickly. I’m not about to lose time by getting pulled over! “Calm down, Becky,” I mutter coolly. “I’ve got this.” I let off the accelerator to slow down and keep my foot on the clutch. The cop behind us pulses his siren twice.
Solas starts to chastise me, “What are you doing? We can’t get pulled over. You were going at least one-fifteen. He'll take you straight to jail and none of us have identification.”
“We’re not going to jail, Chief,” I respond unaffected. Just as the speedometer reads sixty, I drop into forth gear and speed off, throwing everyone back into their seats.
“Oh, Shit! Go, go, go, go!” Beck cheers from the back seat, bouncing up and down while slapping my seat.
I redline the RPM's before shoving into fifth gear and hitting one hundred. A mischievous grin claims my face as we climb back up to one hundred and twenty miles per hour, then reach one-forty. “See ya’,” I drawl as the flashing lights fall back, the sirens fading into the distance.
“You truly are a bad ass, Ivy,” Cass breathes into my ear, making me smile.
It only takes thirty more minutes for us to reach the hill country of Red Meadow. We're getting low on gas, but we can make it. Crossing over into Red Meadow, nostalgia grips me, my stomach churns, and a tear slips from the corner of my eye.
Solas reaches over and brushes the tear from my cheek. “You’ve got this,” he whispers. Intertwining my fingers in his, I welcome the comfort he gives me and nod my head. I slow down as we approach the dirt road leading us to the estate.
Beck leans forward between the front seats, “Um… It’s ten-forty-nine.”
Solas twists in his seat and bites, “Great observation, Becky! Thank you!”
“I’m just sayin’, Pigeon,” Beck spits in reference to Solas' ability to shift into a raven.
“What's that, Pussy Cat?” Solas taunts back, insulting the leonine nature of Beck's Griffin.
Cassius restrains Beckett from attacking Solas as I glance between them and the road. “Enough!” Cassius commands with such force the interior quivers.
The gates of the estate loom ahead, and I take a calming breath. “I guess I’m staying,” I mutter under my breath. Solas grunts, unhappy with losing the bet. I pull up to the beautiful gates that protect the estate and park the car before shutting her off. “We’re here,” I report soft spoken and unblinking. There are several minutes of silence where no one moves, and it seems we're holding our breaths. I’m not ready for this. I can’t do this, I repeat like a chant in my head as I stare at the driveway beyond the gates.
“Maybe you should go see her. We’ll wait here,” Solas suggests.
I nod, dropping my head. “Yeah,” I croak. My fingers wrap the door handle, and I release a shaky breath. I exit the car with my cigarettes and light one up before tapping in the gate code embedded in my memory. The gates ease open and I shuffle past, not knowing what to expect. Will she be angry with me? This is all my fault. Will she let the guys come in at all? I really need Solas by my side. He’s been my rock this whole time. I don’t know if I can do this without him.
The mansion comes into view. Seeing my Evo parked next to Jack’s Skyline, I keep my tears at bay. Alice opens the door before I reach the steps, her face swollen and eyes bloodshot. I imagine I look the same. She runs into my arms. We rock side to side and sob into each other’s hair. There are no words of comfort either of us can speak to make the situation any easier. When she releases me, I let out a slow breath. “How is she?” I ask.
“She’s been waiting for you,” Alice says glancing to the front door.
“Is she… Is she mad at me?” I stammer.
She jerks her head my direction, brows pinched together, “Mad at you?”
“Does she think it’s my fault?” I have a hard time speaking as I choke on my words.
“Oh, no, honey!” she locks an arm around my neck and smooths my hair with her other hand. I reach under her arms and grasp her shoulders, embracing her to shield myself from the world while hoping I can shrink away from my shame. “Nobody thinks it's your fault. Nobody blames you. Not at all!” I let her words sink in and nod my head on her shoulder, refusing to let go. Arms envelope me from behind and beside me with a pure lavender aroma I associate with Evelyn and a musky spice belonging to Eric.
I reel in my emotions and wipe my face. “Ok, guys. I can’t breathe,” I gruff. Everyone releases me and steps back. I avoid Evelyn's face, gazing at the ground, “I’m so sorry, Evelyn.”
“I’m sorry too, Ivy.”
A few awkward moments pass before Eric changes the conversation, “Where are your guards?”
“They’re not my guards anymore, even though they feel an obligation to keep protecting me, but they’re waiting in the car. I wanted a chance to explain before asking if they could come in.”
“Alice and Eric explained everything. As long as you want them around, I'll welcome them in my home. From my understanding, if it wasn’t for them, you never would've been able to get to Jack,” Evelyn voices.
“Thank you, Evelyn.”
“You can get your friends, and we'll meet you inside,” she suggests.
“Wait. Is Michael here?” I wonder.
“Yes. I've already spoke with him. He understands there will be no rivalry between him and the Fallen here.”
“Ok. I’ll meet you inside,” I turn and pace back to the gates with my arms crossed over my chest.
Alice jogs up next to me, “Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“So...,” she drawls. “There’s one more person here,” she claims with clear discomfort.
“Who?” I give her a confused sidelong glance over my shoulder.
“You remember the Reaper who took Jack?” her face cringes.
I stop in my tracks, “Why would he be here?” Anger twists my stomach.
Alice tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Um… he was concerned.” She bobs her head before continuing, “About you.”
“About me?” I resume walking again, not caring what the Reaper wants. I note the guys standing around the car waiting for me. “Why?”
Alice freezes in place, “Ivy.” I stop and face her. “It’s Azrael.”
All the blood drains from my face, and I lose feeling in my legs. My knees buckle and hit the ground. I sink back on my legs and cover my face with my hands. Three
sets of footsteps pound from behind and slow to a stop next to me. Solas lifts one of my arms and Beckett lifts the other to help me stand. “What’s going on?” Solas’ deep voice demands.
I cover my face again and mumble through my hands in monotone, “I seriously can’t do this right now.”
“She didn’t know the Reaper that helped us in The Keep's dungeon was Azrael,” Alice provides. “He’s here.”
“Why?” Solas and Beckett voice together.
“You mean you don’t know?” she remarks.
I remove my hands from my face and cross my arms over my chest again, “Beleth didn’t even know, Alice. He was furious when I told him. I guess he’s not the sharing type.”
“Ivy, what’s going on?” Solas asks.
I sigh heavily before Cassius fields the question for me, “He is her father.” I had forgotten that Cass was my punisher in the dungeon. He was the only other person who heard my confession to Beleth.
“What!” Solas and Beckett shout, taken off-guard. It's the first time I've witnessed true anger on Solas’ face.
“I can’t be here, Ivy. I’m sorry. I have to go,” Solas announces.
“Why?”
“It’s a long story. Let’s just say, Azrael and I are not on the best of terms. I’m positive if we have to be in the same space for more than a few moments, I won't be able to keep myself from shredding him to pieces.”
“Please, Solas. I really need you here,” I clutch his hand and hold it tight. Confusion. Fear. Admiration. Reluctance.
He harrumphs and chuckles, “You don’t understand. We’ve been at odds with each other for over a decade.”
I turn to the others, “Alice, can you take the Griffins to the house. We’ll be right behind you.”
“Sure, honey. Whatever you need.” She rubs my back and regards the brothers, “Come on guys, I’m sure you’re hungry. There’s food in the dining room. You guys look like you could eat,” she smiles.
“Always,” Beckett smirks as he and his brother follow Alice up the driveway.
Solas and I wait until they reach the house, not wanting to be overheard with their impeccable hearing. “Solas—”
“—Ivy, I really can’t,” he repeats, withdrawing from me.
I hold his wrist as he pulls away, and turn him back to me. “I can’t do this without you.”
His compassionate gaze searches my face. Love, want, need, fear, regret. “You're stronger than what you give yourself credit for,” he says softly.
“Please, Solas. You're the only thing that’s been holding me together. I need you here. You've been my rock.” I hesitate, my throat constricting, chest aching, and tears brimming. “Please don’t leave me here.”
I'm enveloped with angelic speed in his massive arms. He kisses the top of my head. “Ok, Ivy,” he breathes. “I’ll stay.”
I pull back, scanning his face while keeping my arms wrapped around his waist, “Thank you.”
His lips press gently to my forehead. “Ready?” he prompts, stepping back from our embrace and slipping my hand back in his.
I nod and wipe my face before we stroll up the driveway hand in hand. I’m scared, I send through my open mind.
“I’ll stay with you. We’ll do it together,” he tells me with a thought.
When we enter the house, Alice, Eric, and the Griffins are sitting in the entertainment room. We stand before them with our hands entwined. The Reaper’s expressions make me feel judged as if I'm too fond of Solas, but I don’t care. I need him.
My attention is drawn to Michael as he enters the foyer from the kitchen, “Ivy, it is good to see you again. Though, I am sorry for the circumstances.”
“Michael,” I breathe. For some reason, I find myself bowing my head to him in greeting, “Thank you for coming.”
“Jack is a great warrior like his father before him. Since his father was called back to Paradise, I have looked after him. He is like a son to me,” Michael confesses, and I lose all courage to bombard him with questions.
Evelyn comes through the threshold of the kitchen with Azrael trailing behind her. Solas tense next to me. Stay with me, Solas. We’ll do this together. Right? He squeezes my hand in response. Azrael doesn’t speak as he glances between Solas and me in disapproval. I don’t give a fuck what you think. As far as I’m concerned, you shouldn’t even be here, I scowl at him.
Evelyn leads us into the entertainment room. I stand next to Solas before the fireplace as everyone but Michael and Azrael sit in the surrounding seats. Solas wraps his arm around my back protectively. Michael and Azrael stand together opposite from us. There's a moment of silence and images of Jack enter my mind–His body hanging in the dungeon, covered in blood. Why would Beleth do this? How much did Jack have to suffer before the Qeres took over his body completely? How much torture did he have to endure?
Michael starts speaking in Enochian. It sounds different than I've heard before. It's gentle and placid like a feather drifting to the ground while the world holds its breath. Yet, I can hardly hear him through my distant thoughts. Did Beleth tell him why he was killing him? It was because of me. He’s gone because of me. His blood's on my hands. Tears drip from my face, my head throbs, and my stomach churns. My grief is more agonizing than being set on fire. I feel broken. A darkness grows inside of me. I know Beleth is dead, but the need for revenge swells. Lucifer's responsible. He sent Beleth to collect me. This is his doing. I want to watch him suffer viciously. No mercy for the Devil.
When Michael finishes, Evelyn speaks hoarsely, “Jack, you're the most caring son anyone can ask for. You're an even greater warrior. I have faith you will return to us someday. It's all any of us can pray for.” She chokes on her words, “I’m sorry.” She sniffles. “I love you, Jack. May you forever live in peace if you are not able to return to us.”
Michael addresses me after a moment. “Ivy? Would you like to send a message to Jack?”
“What do you mean?”
“That is why I am here. To take your messages to Paradise and share them with Jack.”
I hesitate, remembering him racing, smiling, laying on my bed to listen to me play guitar, the feel of his lips and embrace, carrying me on his back and running up that dreadful hill to my Music History class, and confessing his feelings for me in the field after horseback riding.
I wipe my face again and muster up the courage to speak. “I’m so sorry, Jack. When you left us, it created a deep wound that will continue to bleed.” Solas holds me against him tighter. “You can never be replaced, Jack. There's no one else like you. You're special to each of us, and I pray this isn't the end for you. I love you with my entire being. You are mine, and I am yours,” my words turn to whispers with my last statement. I take a shuddering breath and continue, “I can't tell you how my captivity has changed my perspective on who I’ve become, who I am, and what I know I have to do now. I was forced to watch you die, and for that I want justice. I want revenge, and I'll have it. So will you. I'll make them suffer for taking you away from us. I swear to you, Jack. We'll have vengeance.” I know this isn't what they want to hear, but I need those words to be my last to Jack. Evelyn’s eyes are wide with concern, and Michael clears his throat. I straighten my spine, not regretting a word. “Excuse me,” I say inscrutably before leaving the house to walk the lush gardens.
Andromeda, ever so stoic, marches to my side from the barn. I search her eyes for a reason she would do something so human—stand beside me for support. Maximus joins us and nudges my shoulder with his snout from my other side. I turn and rub his nose, “Hey, Max.” I sigh. “I missed you too.” He neighs and paws the ground beneath him. It instigates Andromeda, and she begins to do the same. I’m in between them as they stomp the ground. “What are you doing?” As if in answer, both rear up and kick the air. “Easy. Easy,” I try to sooth them. They come down, and Andromeda stomps her hooves again. Maximus turns in a tight circle and pushes me with his nose again. Understanding dawns on me, “Where do you want to t
ake me?”
Maximus takes off running with Andromeda fast on his heels. The corner of my mouth turns up. My wings shoot out of my back as I run with angelic speed. I flap my wings and soar low, flying figure eights around them. Andromeda whinnies and sprints faster. I push my wings harder, and Maximus charges beneath me. I tuck my wings in and land on his bare back.
He runs full speed through the fields. As I see the edge of the property approach, I clutch the hair at the base of his mane and lean forward, sweeping my legs onto his back and laying on my stomach. I push up to my knees and gradually rise to stand. My knees bend with the beat of his cantor, and I release his mane. Keeping my balance, I squat low and leap into the air like a bullet. Reaching the apex of my jump, I release my wings wide and pulse them to fly over the forest surrounding the property.
I know it's mid-day and I shouldn’t be seen by humans. There would be YouTube videos going viral within minutes. Without thinking about my destination, I end up on the cliff where Jack and I had our first big argument. I land on the edge, sit with my legs dangling over the precipice, and retract my wings. I take a deep breath of the crisp air around me. The wind on my face at this height is chilly and sooths the heat of my skin. Looking over the horizon of the small town, I try to think of what the future will hold for me. I just want to feel normal again. I want to stay here and finish school, but how do I do that and avenge Jack at the same time? I know the truth. I can’t. I have to choose, and I've already made my choice. I'll make the entire underworld suffer.
I fish my pack of cigarettes from my back pocket and place one between my lips. Digging out my lighter from my front pocket and bringing it to the tip of my cigarette, I pause as I hear a smooth, deep voice behind me.
“You know, smoking is truly pointless for a being such as yourself,” Azrael says.
“Yeah? I really don’t give a shit,” I say nonchalantly as I light my cigarette and stuff my lighter back into my pocket.
MIDNIGHT DIVINE (The Helio Trilogy Book 1) Page 26