Just Like Em

by Marion Ekholm

Appalled, Em stood motionless. “You told him? How can you play with my child’s emotions that way?”

  “Em, listen,” Roger said as he released her hand and grasped her arms above her elbows. “He knows it’s just for today.”

  “You have no idea what you’ve started. His father never paid this much attention to him—taking him camping, dealing with his sickness. He’s fixated on you, and the trauma this will create...”

  “He’s a bright kid. He knows it’s so we could fool the hospital. Otherwise, they might not have taken him in.”

  “Why would you have to fool the hospital? I gave you permission in my note to stand in for me in any emergency.” She felt anger building in her body, ready to explode through her pores. “Where’s my note?” She struggled to get free of his grip, but he held tight.

  “I was reading it and then...I must have lost it. In the parking lot, I think. That’s the last time I saw it.”

  “You told him to lie!” Em used all her strength to shrug out of his grip and move away. “You filled out papers saying he’s your son. That’s fraud.” She covered her face and gasped, trying her best not to burst into tears.

  “I don’t believe this,” Roger said, starting to pace in front of her. “You’re calm as can be about your son’s near-death emergency, and you fall apart over my getting him into the hospital.”

  Once Sammy’s emergency was over, she could focus on other problems. And Roger obviously had no idea what problems he faced. “It’s illegal. You could lose your insurance. You have no idea how devastating that can be.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about. I paid with my credit card so it won’t go through the insurance. No fraud there, and I only did that to get him admitted. You’re here now, so you can tell them verbally I had your permission if the question ever comes up.”

  “Well, you’re not paying for it—I am. I’ll do it right now.” She whirled and headed down the hall, anywhere just to get away from him. Now that she no longer had to remain strong, she didn’t want Roger to see her lose all her control and bawl like a baby.

  “Tomorrow, Em, tomorrow when we take him home,” he said right near her ear. She felt the gentle pressure of his hands on her shoulders and stopped.

  “You’re not taking him home. I am.” Still defiant, she spat the words through tight lips. He eased closer. His body, when it pressed against her, destroyed the last of her willpower.

  “Harve’s driving the boys home in the morning,” he said as he turned her around and enclosed her in his comforting arms. “I’m coming with you.” His lips moved against her forehead and along her ear. All her control slipped away, and she convulsed with the tears she had kept dammed up inside her.

  He held her tightly to him as she cried. “Let it out, Em,” he whispered in her ear. “Let it all out.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  EM LAY ON the cot set up by Sammy’s bed. She held his hand, watched his small form, and thanked God for his even breathing. How many times had she monitored him in the past, waiting for a change that might mean another attack? How many times would she repeat this same vigil in the future?

  “How’s he doing?” Roger whispered.

  She released Sammy’s hand and turned to see Roger’s face in the dim light. “Better,” she said as she raised herself to a sitting position and dropped her bare feet to the floor.

  “Don’t get up. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

  “Where have you been? Did they get a cot for you, too?”

  Roger flipped around and pointed to the hall. “No. I’ve been talking to Harve.”

  “He’s here?” It had to be close to midnight. She got off the cot and stretched. Oh, it felt good to relieve those tense muscles.

  “No. He’s camping with the boys. We’ve been talking on our cell phones to keep everyone up to date. The boys were really worried. We all were.”

  “Sammy’s okay. He’ll need a lot of rest, but he’s doing fine.” Em paused. “I should never have let him come. The elevation is too high for him. I should have realized it.” She pressed her knuckles against her lips as she gazed down on her precious little boy.

  Roger came up behind her and began to gently massage her shoulders. She leaned into him, enjoying the healing touch. “How are you holding up?” he asked.

  “Fine.”

  “Not if you’re kicking yourself for being a bad parent every time Sammy gets an attack. Things happen, and we just have to handle them the best way we can.”

  She felt his warm breath near her ear reassuring her. If only she could relax and forget her troubles. His manipulating her shoulders was going a long way toward that.

  “Come and sit over here,” he said, and led her to one of the chairs. He took the other and pulled it closer so that the armrests touched. “How was your day with my daughter?”

  Em started to chuckle. “Interesting, to say the least.”

  “Am I in hock for one or two million dollars?”

  Sammy stirred and Em leaned closer to Roger so she could keep her voice low. “Actually, you got off cheap. Samantha watched the prices very closely and only bought things on sale. And I managed to bring her home safe and sound without any tattoos or body piercings.”

  “What!”

  Em quickly placed a finger over Roger’s lips to avoid any further outbursts. “She wanted her ears pierced, but I put my foot down. That’s something she’ll have to discuss with you. And,” Em continued, not allowing him to interrupt, “she got some bras. I also found out why she has avoided it until now. Someone told her bras cause breast cancer.”

  Roger pulled Em’s hand from his face and cupped it between his hands. “Who would say such nonsense?” he asked, his forehead turning into a mass of furrows.

  “I looked it up on the internet and there actually are people who believe it. However, I think it came from her Grandma Millie.”

  With an exaggerated sigh, Roger slumped against the chair, pulling Em’s hand against his chest. “Karen’s mother. She means well but she’s a few cards shy of a full deck.” He placed his free arm around Em’s shoulders, drawing her closer.

  A nurse entered to check on Sammy. “He’s doing well,” she said as she paused by Em and Roger. “I didn’t know both parents would be here. I’ll see to having another cot brought in.”

  * * *

  Em nodded. Good. He’d have a place to sleep, as well. She yawned and placed one foot on her knee. Her feet still ached from hiking around the shopping center. She began massaging her foot.

  “Here, let me do that.” Roger released her other hand and removed his arm from her shoulders. Grasping her foot with both hands, he started to knead it with expert fingers.

  “You’re good.”

  “I’ve had lots of practice.”

  “Karen?” Em asked.

  Roger nodded. “It helped her relax.”

  After giving her several minutes of pure pleasure, Roger released that foot and reached for the other one. When he was done, Em curled up in the chair and leaned against him, their heads touching. Her eyes drooped shut. Such comfort. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so content or so safe.

  * * *

  AS EM DRIFTED to sleep against his cheek, Roger held on to the moment. Their quiet talk while he massaged her feet had gone a long way to relax him, as well. He needed that intimacy, the feel of another person. He’d missed it so much.

  He remembered the nurse’s remark and a grin started that he couldn’t suppress. Auntie Em as his wife. Either Em had been too tired to pay any attention to the nurse’s comment, or it hadn’t affected her.

  How well she fit against him. He noted her soft hair and how nice it felt touching his face, its pleasant smell. Herbs probably, as in the commercials. He moved his lips against her forehead. So smooth. So co
ol.

  Maybe he should wake her. She needed sleep, after all, and the cot would provide the most comfort. But he didn’t move. He liked the warm body snuggling against him.

  He awoke when the nurse came in to check again on Sammy. Roger’s arm had gone to sleep and his neck had a crick that required massaging. Once the nurse left, he lifted Em and placed her on her cot. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

  “Good night, Auntie Em,” he whispered before heading for his own cot. But sleep refused to come. He stayed awake, listening to her even breathing.

  * * *

  THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Em woke to someone gently pulling her hand. At first she thought it might be Roger, but when she opened her eyes, Sammy grinned back at her.

  “Hi, Mom.” He had powdered sugar around his mouth and a definite jelly stain on his shirt.

  “Hi, yourself.” When had she climbed onto the cot? Em pulled herself to a sitting position and glanced around the room. Roger’s folded cot stood near the door. Where had he slept?

  A box of doughnuts sat on the table.

  “Who brought those?” she asked.

  “Chip and Chaz,” Roger said from the doorway. “It was our camping breakfast, and the boys brought the box over before they headed home.”

  Doughnuts, really? Em realized she should have looked into this camping business more thoroughly. What else had they had for meals?

  “And heading home is what we should do. Right, sport?” Roger slapped the top of a wheelchair and indicated Sammy should take a seat.

  Later, when Em went to pay the bill, she said, “I want to pay for the entire medical bill with this.” Why was the woman looking so intently at her credit card?

  “Aren’t you Mrs. Holden? This says Turner. And your husband gave his credit card to us yesterday.”

  “My husband?” The word still conjured up Bradley, and for a moment, Em tried to sort out the mixed signals bouncing in her brain. Had someone contacted Bradley? Had the nurse really called her Mrs. Holden?

  Em glanced in Roger’s direction. What stories had he told these people? What problems would he face if she told the truth?

  Willing herself to stay calm, Em decided to be honest. “Sammy is my son and Mr. Holden had my permission...” She paused and took a deep breath. “...to act on my behalf in an emergency. Which he did, and I’m very grateful. But all the expenses are mine.” Em pushed her credit card toward the woman again. This time she took it without further comment.

  When Roger placed a hand on Em’s shoulder, she nearly jumped. Her purse skittered to the floor, and Roger bent over to retrieve it.

  “You sure you can cover it all?” he asked.

  Em looked at the printed bill and nodded. She’d be fine as long as she didn’t eat anything for the next month. She’d manage. Her son was safe, recovering. All because of Roger. Together they pushed Sammy out to the parking lot.“I want to thank you for last night,” she said, when they reached her van. “That massage...it really helped me unwind. I...”

  “It worked for me, too.” Roger opened the door for Sammy. “It brought back so many happy memories with Karen.”

  Em’s jaw tightened, and she made an attempt to swallow the lump that had materialized when he mentioned his wife. His dead wife.

  * * *

  EM DROVE THE scenic road through Skull Valley rather than head back to Phoenix on I-17. Not because she wanted to. She’d have preferred the faster route, so she could get Sammy home quickly. But someone rushing into the hospital had mentioned that an accident had tied I-17 into a horrendous traffic jam. That could entail hours of delay. Either way, it meant too many hours with Roger.

  Fortunately, he had folded his arms across his chest, slumped against the passenger door and fallen asleep. At least she wouldn’t have to provide conversation. Right now, she couldn’t get any words past the tightness in her throat.

  Once they began their trip, Em focused on the awesome stretch of valleys surrounded by distant mountains. They reflected her life. Soaring spectacular heights such as last night’s closeness with Roger, and plunges into deep ravines when he spoke of times with his wife. Em was alive. Couldn’t he respond to that?

  She had no intention of continuing this roller-coaster ride. If he couldn’t forget Karen, so be it. Em had managed the past fifteen years without his warmth and caresses; she could manage at least that many in the future. Besides, all that pretending to be his wife at the hospital had little to do with reality. She’d never hook up with anyone who had lost his job. Bradley had taught her that lesson. No way would she support another man, let alone one with three children.

  The road curved back and forth, often on the rim of a precipice. Sammy slept in the seat behind her. At least he was getting the rest he needed. Concentrating on the task of driving helped take her mind off her worries. Except for a few curves that required she slow down, the trip into Phoenix was uneventful.

  * * *

  ROGER WASN’T ENJOYING the journey, however. He sat only a couple of feet from Em with his eyes closed. Was the cool air fanning his cheek from the air conditioner or from the iceberg driving the van? He’d never seen anyone shut down the way Em had when he’d mentioned Karen. Shades dropped, lights went out, all because he said something about pleasant memories with his wife.

  What he’d meant to say... What he should have said... Damn it. He hadn’t been thinking of Karen at all when he’d held Em in his arms.

  He had enjoyed the feel of Em, her hair against his face, the light sound of her breathing. All those things that he had enjoyed with Karen had reappeared with another person. He never thought it could happen again. What a bungled mess. How could he ever repair the terrible crack he had created? Crack, nothing. He’d created a hole the size of the Grand Canyon.

  He continued to pretend sleep, even after Sammy woke and began a nonstop discussion of the previous day. He mentioned The Bus, and despite Roger’s foul mood, he smiled to himself.

  “Sammy, give it a break.” No way was Em going to call him The Bus. “Mr. Holden’s trying to sleep.”

  Roger straightened and turned to face her. “It’s okay. I was just thinking.”

  Sammy leaned over Roger’s seat and said, “We goin’ campin’ again sometime, Dad?”

  “Get your seat belt back on,” Em shouted.

  Sammy mumbled something about her, but Em was too furious to respond. The road was now curving dangerously. Otherwise, she would have directed all her anger at Roger. She hadn’t confronted him about calling Sammy his son. Not in the boy’s presence, anyway. Yet the animosity she felt over the deception still smoldered beneath the surface.

  “You have to stop using that dad stuff, sport. Your mother doesn’t like it.”

  Em pulled into the first safe turnoff she could find and stopped the car. “Don’t you make me out to be the villain,” she said, unsnapping her seat belt and focusing all her frustration on Roger. “You take care of this here and now or your head will be one more added to Skull Valley.”

  She pushed open the car door, grabbed her purse and got out. Oh, how she needed a cigarette right now. Something to calm her, or she might very well carry out her threat.

  Em headed down the road at a fair clip with the intention of lighting up once she got past one of the boulders. She rummaged through her purse, looking for the cigarettes Samantha had given her. She stopped, pulled out the pack and stared at it. After Sammy’s attack, how could she even consider such a thing? With a quick toss, the pack flew into the air, then dropped cigarettes among the brambles that lined the road. Slowly, she turned and headed back.

  Em waited a good distance from the car, concentrating on one of the jagged mountains that rimmed the valley they were now in. Why did she have to bump into Roger at Metro? Every current problem in her life stemmed from that one chance encounter.
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  Something small and warm slipped into her hand. She looked down into the upturned face of a contrite Sammy. “Sorry, Ma,” he said and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back.

  “We’re not going to have this problem again?”

  Sammy sighed. “Nope. Mr. Holden says I only have one dad. Besides, he’s got too many kids callin’ him that now.”

  Relief flooded Em. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with that problem on a daily basis. She wasn’t too sure what Sammy understood about the lying part, but she could wait and cover that problem later. She picked him up and wrapped him in a bear hug. “I love you.”

  “Me, too.” He planted a wet kiss on her nose before wiggling down and running to the car.

  Roger waited, draped over the open passenger door. He smiled and said, “Sorry, Ma,” before slipping back into the front seat.

  Darn him. She wanted to punch him and hug him at the same time. She decided to relax and put all the trauma behind them. It was a beautiful day in the cool mountain air. She could afford to be generous.

  A few minutes later, he said, “Em, I have a problem you might be able to help me with. Sophia is leaving.”

  “I know. She told me about remarrying and going back to Tucson when I met her yesterday. She’ll be hard to replace. Samantha adores her.”

  “Her departure is going to be hard on everyone. Sophia’s been part of the family since the twins were born. You know anyone good with kids looking for a live-in job?”

  Em thought a moment and shook her head. “I can ask my mother, though. She might know someone.”

  “Why don’t you ask Grandma to do it? She’s great with kids,” Sammy said near her ear.

  “You get back into that seat belt, and I don’t want to see you out of it again.” She checked the rearview mirror just to make sure he followed her order. He muttered again. Maybe she had been too harsh, but his suggestion hit a nerve. They couldn’t afford the apartment if her mother moved out.

  “Wasn’t your mother a teacher before she retired?”

  “Yes” came from the backseat. “And she’s gettin’ bored, Ma. She told me the other day...”