by Valerie Parv
She felt a renewed fear that he did know who she was, and was playing her like a fish on a line. He probably thought that if he gave her enough rope she would hang herself. She forced a brittle laugh. ‘Of course not. After our shopping, I plan to take the girls to see the Lego exhibition at Centrepoint, then to lunch as a treat. It’s hardly cloak and dagger stuff.’
‘Then there’s no reason why Marcus shouldn’t go along, is there?’ he said, ending the discussion.
‘No reason at all.’
Especially as she had no intentions of spending a whole day with the chauffeur as her watchdog, she thought mutinously. When she dismissed Marcus after he drove them to the shops he looked startled. ‘The boss expects me to look after you.’
‘If he objects, tell him I insisted,’ she said. Two could play Ryan’s game.
All the same, as Marcus drove away she felt a twinge of unease, recalling Clair’s accusations against Ryan. He wouldn’t hold Marcus responsible for her obstinacy, would he? She would hate the driver to suffer because of her. She reassured herself with the thought that Ryan might be tough, but she had only seen him act fairly so far. It was at odds with Clair’s description of him, but not with Terise’s own experience—confusing though it was.
Having the twins to herself assuaged some of her guilty feelings, and the shopping was soon done. They were queuing for tickets outside the Lego exhibition when a touch alerted Terise. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’
She looked up into the curious hazel eyes of her stepmother. They’d spoken on the phone several times since Terise had begun working for Ryan, but her stepmother knew only the sketchiest details of her job. Luckily Elaine had been happy to chat about her own life, and hadn’t seemed to notice any omission.
Now, however, she regarded the twins intently, a suspicious film of moisture blurring her gaze. ‘These are the children you’re looking after?’
Perhaps Terise was imagining things. Elaine was merely curious, that was all. ‘Yes—this is Trudy and this is Lisa Westmore. We’ve been shopping for school clothes and I promised them a treat afterwards.’
‘Hello, Trudy, Lisa. I’m Elaine, and I’m very pleased to meet you.’
Her eyes lifted to fix on Terise. This time there was no mistaking the emotion mirrored there. It caught at Terise’s heartstrings as her stepmother said, ‘I’d know them anywhere.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ But she was afraid that she did.
‘They’re Clair’s girls, aren’t they?’ Elaine said, in a voice barely above a whisper.
The queue moved forward and Terise bought tickets, aware that her stepmother had pushed a note forward for another adult ticket. How much had she guessed?
‘Don’t worry, I won’t make a scene,’ Elaine assured her as they filed into the exhibition. The children were immediately caught up in the magic of the life-sized models made out of thousands of tiny building blocks.
Terise touched Elaine’s arm. ‘I couldn’t tell you. I wasn’t sure how much you already knew.’
‘I didn’t realise who your charges were until I saw you together.’ Her hand went to her mouth. ‘They are so much like Clair at the same age that they couldn’t be anyone else’s children.’
‘Then you knew about Clair’s marriage?’
‘I didn’t find out until well after the event—and then by accident, when a friend showed me a newspaper cutting from the social pages. Evidently Clair told everyone she was an orphan.’ Her eyes brimmed. ‘Why would she do such a thing?’
‘I don’t know. She didn’t tell me either, until much, much later.’ She glanced at the children, but they were absorbed in the exhibition. ‘I think she was pregnant when she married, and was too ashamed to tell us.’
Elaine nodded. ‘It would explain a lot. I suppose once she started deceiving her husband she couldn’t very well stop.’
Terise sighed. ‘We’ll probably never know the whole story.’ Her breath caught in her throat as she realised Elaine might not know that her daughter was dead.
Her stepmother sensed her hesitation. ‘It’s all right, I know about the accident. After I found out she was married I made a point of checking the social pages afterwards, to see if anything was mentioned. It was a terrible way to learn such news.’
Elaine had been living in Sydney at the time of Clair’s accident. Still, Terise wondered why her stepmother had chosen to suffer her tragic loss in silence. ‘You should have let me share the burden,’ she said.
Elaine’s eyes brightened again. ‘I hated to admit that my own daughter had cut me out of her life so completely. All I ever tried to do was love her and do my best for her.’
Terise squeezed her stepmother’s hand. ‘I’m sure she knew you did, in spite of everything.’
Elaine turned a wistful gaze towards Trudy and Lisa. ‘And now I’m a grandmother. In a way, it’s like having Clair back again. It lessens the hurt, somehow.’ She gave a choked smile. ‘Even if they don’t know who I am, I’ll always know it.’
‘Of course you will You’re entitled to that much, at least.’ It was little enough compensation.
Elaine clapped her hands. ‘I know what we can do. I’ll take the three of you to lunch. I’ve lent my flat to some overseas friends this week, so they can enjoy being near Manly and the beach, while I stay at the Menzies Hotel. We can go there.’ She clutched Terise’s arm. ‘Please come. It would mean so much to me.’
Terise’s mind shied away from all thoughts of what Ryan would say if he found out. She didn’t want her fear to spoil Elaine’s small pleasure, but she was sure that he wouldn’t approve. She would consider the deception a part-repayment for his treatment of Clair. ‘We’ll come. I meant to take them to lunch, so the Menzies it is.’
Elaine’s grateful look made Terise’s heart turn over. Elaine had as much right to get to know the twins as Terise herself had—more, in fact, since they were Elaine’s own flesh and blood. They were all the more precious to her for being the only legacy of her daughter.
Visiting Elaine’s hotel pleased the twins—especially when she insisted on buying some of the Lego to take back with them. ‘It will give them something to play with while we talk,’ she said, when Terise demurred.
The Mandarin Suite was lavishly appointed, with a spacious living-dining-room, two bathrooms and beautiful Oriental décor.
Elaine noticed Terise’s astonished look. ‘I can’t really afford this on my budget, but I need to splash out now and again to make myself feel better. I know what you’re thinking—Clair got her expensive tastes from me—and you’d be right. I know I drove your father crazy, spending beyond our means, but it’s just the way I am.’
Her apologetic shrug reminded Terise that Clair had always used her inability to change as her excuse too. Nothing she could say would help matters now, so Terise kept silent while Elaine ordered their lunch from room service. By the time it came the novelty of the hotel suite had worn off, and the twins were playing with their new Lego toys on the floor.
Terise gave them their lunch picnic-style on a tray, which they thought was great fun. It kept them from overhearing Elaine’s murmured conversation.
‘What is their father like? What sort of husband was he to Clair?’
‘He’s an excellent father,’ Terise answered honestly. ‘As for their marriage, you’d have to ask him.’
‘But I can’t. Clair saw to that.’ She wrung her hands together. ‘If I go to him and introduce myself I make Clair look bad, and I can’t do it—I just can’t.’
The alternative was to endure estrangement from her own grandchildren. Terise felt a surge of compassion for her stepmother, who would put her daughter’s memory before her own needs. ‘There’s no easy solution, I’m afraid.’
Elaine dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. ‘You’re right. But, tell me, how did you get involved with Ryan Westmore? It must have been the most wonderful coincidence finding yourself in charge of his children.’
Terise debated whether to tell Elain
e about Clair’s letters, but decided against it. The woman had been through enough without having to face the possibility that her daughter’s marriage had been desperately unhappy.
She explained about being mistaken for a temporary secretary at his Press conference, without explaining her reasons for going there in the first place. Elaine didn’t push for details.
‘It was meant to be,’ she beamed. ‘Now, tell me all about the children—their schools, their homelife, everything.’
Haltingly at first, then more fluently, Terise described life in the Westmore household, ending with a detailed description of the recent visit to the Bowral property.
By the time she had finished Elaine’s face was drawn. ‘You love him, don’t you?’ she said quietly.
Terise flicked a nervous glance towards the children, but their Lego tower absorbed their attention. ‘Of course not,’ she denied, feeling colour flood into her face.
Elaine reached for her hand. ‘I’ve known you since you were a teenager, Terise. I lived through your first crushes and your first real love affair with that history teacher, and your sadness when it petered out. I know the symptoms, love.’
‘But I can’t be.’
The dismay in her voice made Elaine chuckle. ‘Why not? We don’t always get to choose whom we love. And it isn’t a betrayal of Clair, you know.’
Ashamed, because that hadn’t been the reason for her hesitancy, Terise looked away. ‘I hardly know him.’
‘I could have said the same of your father, but we made a good team, didn’t we?’
‘Yes.’ The answer was truthful. Whatever Elaine’s shortcomings, she had loved Terise’s father and made him happy.
‘Then what’s holding you back? Marry the man. If nothing else, it will give me an excuse to visit my grandchildren.’ There was more than a touch of irony in her tone.
Terise wondered how to tell her that she couldn’t marry Ryan. Not only were his feelings clear on the subject, there was still the mystery of what sort of husband he had been to Clair.
Terise wasn’t even sure she wanted to know any more. At least now she knew the reason for her cowardice, she thought ruefully. Elaine was right. She was in love with Ryan Westmore herself, and the thought of discovering anything bad about him filled her with apprehension.
‘How could I have been so stupid?’ she asked, half to herself.
‘We’re all a bit stupid when it comes to love. But it’s even more stupid to let it slip through your fingers.’
‘What if the man doesn’t want your love?’
Elaine nodded sagely. ‘So that’s the problem. I thought there was more to this than you were telling me. Then, my dear, you have to make him want you.’
The idea of making Ryan do anything he didn’t want to do brought a slight smile. ‘Easier said than done,’ she admitted.
Glancing at her watch, she jumped to her feet. ‘Look at the time! I should have had the twins home an hour ago.’ Caught up in talking to Elaine, she hadn’t noticed the time passing. She could only hope that Ryan had decided to work late.
But luck was against her. By the time she had hailed a taxi outside the hotel and travelled the short distance home through peak-hour traffic almost another hour had gone by. Her heart was thundering as she escorted the twins into the apartment.
Ryan was waiting in the living-room, his expression ominous. ‘Maggie has the children’s dinner ready,’ he observed, leaving volumes unspoken. ‘Come and see me as soon as they’re settled.’
How could she have been so stupid as to forget the time? she agonised as she handed the twins over to Maggie. It was tempting to remain in the cosy confines of the family-room, to avoid the storm awaiting her.
But Ryan was quite capable of dragging her out of here bodily, and she didn’t want the children to witness a scene, so she squared her shoulders and returned to the living-room.
‘I know we were late back, but——’
‘Nearly two hours late,’ he cut across her, anger scorching in his voice. ‘Your explanation had better be good.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
RYAN’S anger boiled away the last of Terise’s enjoyment of the day. Granted, her late return put her in the wrong, but she didn’t deserve the full force of his wrath. ‘I do have an explanation, but I doubt you’re in any mood to hear it,’ she ventured.
His mouth twisted cynically. ‘Try me.’
‘I simply lost track of the time.’
Disbelief registered on his features. ‘Like hell, you did. One of my assistants saw you going into the Menzies Hotel with the children.’
So he was spying on her now. Her backbone stiffened with annoyance. ‘We went there for lunch. I told Marcus I’d take the children to lunch and I did.’
His eyes glittered a challenge. ‘You weren’t in any of the restaurants. I checked.’
Her sense of reality rocked in the face of his statement. ‘You did what? This is outrageous. I know you don’t trust me personally, but you acknowledge that I know my job. There’s no justification for spying on me.’
His mouth thinned into a grim line. ‘Strange as it may seem, I didn’t intend to spy on you. When I was told where you were I had the misguided idea that it would be pleasant to join you for lunch. Can you imagine how I felt when you weren’t in any of the public areas?’
It was the last thing she had expected. In the churning silence, she recognised a stab of pleasure at the thought of him abandoning his business commitments to make time for lunch with her and the children. If only she’d known.
There was nothing she could say except, ‘I’m sorry. If I’d known you meant to join us, I’d have planned ahead. We were in one of the suites, having a room service lunch with a friend of mine.’
Instead of mollifying him, her comment added fuel to his anger. ‘A male friend?’
When she caught his meaning her own anger rose. ‘Of course not. How could you think such a thing? You know I put the children’s welfare above everything. I love them. They’re my family, for goodness’ sake.’
In horror she realised what she’d said and rushed to make amends. ‘I mean, they’re like family to me.’
A mask dropped over his features, but it was somehow more chilling than his anger of a moment before. She flinched under the merciless scrutiny. ‘I think you meant what you said the first time.’ His hands flexed, as if he was imagining them around her throat. ‘Am I finally close to getting the truth out of you?’
Her head swung from side to side in violent denial. ‘No.’
‘No, Terise? What are my children to you?’ He moved closer, stalking her with the dangerous grace of a panther. ‘You’d better tell me the rest or so help me I’ll...’
Backed into a corner, literally as well as figuratively, she could only hurl words as weapons. ‘You’ll what? Treat me the way you treated my stepsister?’
As soon as the words had been said Terise would have given all she possessed to recall them. But it was too late. The light of battle already gleamed in Ryan’s eyes.
He loomed over her, a study in controlled fury. ‘Well, well. This is a night for revelations, isn’t it? Don’t stop now, my dear. Why don’t we start with who you really are?’
He looked quite capable of shaking the information out of her. In fact, he looked as if he was barely restraining himself, so tightly were his fists clenched at his sides, his arms ramrod-straight. Only the knot of a muscle at his jaw betrayed the intensity of emotions he was holding in check.
This was how it would feel to be caged with a tiger, she thought, tremors gripping her slight frame. Faintness tugged at her consciousness but she fought it. Collapsing at his feet would be the coward’s way out, and Terise O’Neill was no coward. Besides, it would only delay the inevitable confrontation.
Better to face him now, however daunting it was. She had a feeling that he would pursue her to the ends of the earth if that was what it took to get his answers. A man like Ryan didn’t give up easily. Didn’t give
up at all, an inner voice insisted.
Well, neither did she. Wearily she lifted her head, injecting defiance into her gaze. ‘You know who I am. I didn’t lie about my identity.’
‘You didn’t lie about your professional background—as I established before entrusting you with the children. But there was a mystery about your personal life, and I dislike mysteries. Come with me.’
The turbulence in his expression was matched by the barely leashed violence in his movements as he took her arm. Half stumbling, she was towed to his study and thrust into a chair opposite his desk.
Shaken, she slumped in the chair, as disturbed by her chaotic thoughts as by his actions. Even now she still wanted him, she accepted unhappily. His anger—for which she couldn’t in all conscience blame him—seemed to accentuate his maleness, to sharpen the qualities which made him so magnificent. He was like a raging bull, and she quailed at being the object of his rage, but part of her was fascinated and—yes—tantalised by it at the same time.
She could hardly believe the thoughts tumbling through her mind. How could she be thinking of him as anything but an enemy at this moment?
She knew only that enmity was the last thing she felt. A rising excitement wound through her, coiling her emotions ever tighter until she felt as if she would explode if she didn’t find a safety valve soon. There was none to be had in Ryan’s expression. He looked as if he wanted to kill her.
He angled himself across the corner of his desk and picked up a red folder marked ‘Confidential’. She waited tensely while he flicked through the contents. At last he drew out a sheet of paper and tossed the folder aside. ‘Allow me to enlighten you.’ His eyes flicked to the page and back to her.
‘You were born in Bathurst, New South Wales. After your mother died of pneumonia, when you were seven, you and your father moved to Port Macquarie, where he had an elderly aunt. She died, leaving your father the house, where the two of you lived until his death.
‘You didn’t want to leave Bathurst, and this affected your performance at school. You became something of a rebel, then turned yourself around to become an exemplary student—largely due to the intervention of your teacher, Elaine Everson. She took up your cause and eventually married your father.’