by K. M. Hayes
A few people raced to beat him to it, a girl about his age saying, “No one will know the answers if you do it! Let us try and stump you, okay?”
Harley smiled. “Oh, fine.”
“Are you signing up, Drew?” Skye nudged me. “Or are you not coming anymore?”
“What? Why wouldn’t you come again?” Frankie looked concerned. “Did we do something that made you feel bad?”
I put my hands up. “No! It was fun!”
“He was just nervous before,” Skye said. “So? I think we should sign up for food. I saw a fun recipe online for a rainbow cake I want to try. We could make it together after school since you’re always stuck there late anyway.”
I had to play it cool. So we’d be alone in her house more. No big deal. Maybe. “Sure, sounds good.”
“I’ll sign us up then.” She skipped off, leaving me there with Frankie. Who smiled weirdly at me.
“You two are cute together,” she said.
My eyes widened. “What?”
“I’m really glad you go to school with her. She’s told me how bad it’s been.” Frankie patted my shoulder. “She’s needed a friend. Good for you for seeing how awesome she is.”
It wasn’t that hard. That’s what I wanted to say, but I worried she might tell Skye. Instead, I watched Skye as she signed up. I definitely liked her, but I still wasn’t sure how much of that was being attracted to her and how much was wanting to be like her. Plus, there was still Emma, and I couldn’t help thinking that if she were here, all of this would be perfect.
And then I noticed the clock on the wall.
The one that said fifteen minutes to ten. I swore. “Skye! I need to go!”
She looked at me, confused. I pointed to the clock. She saw it and jumped. “Oh no! Mom, we gotta get Drew back to the school like right now!”
“What?” Ms. Zook looked confused as we both descended on her.
Skye cringed. “Drew’s parents don’t exactly know he’s here. They think he’s at the school waiting for the Homecoming game to end.”
Ms. Zook’s jaw dropped and she sputtered, “You have got to be kidding me.”
I shook my head. “My dad would kill me if he knew I liked this stuff.”
“Well, we better hurry then. Don’t want your murder on my hands.” She did not look happy, but she couldn’t do anything about it. “Harley! Let’s move!”
“I don’t wanna go!” he said with a hint of a tantrum.
“Buddy, please.” Skye put her hands together, begging.
Tyler stepped in, putting an arm around Harley. “I’ll take him home when we’re done, Ms. Zook. You go.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much.”
We were out the door and running for the car. It took at least twenty minutes to get to Yearling High from here, which would put us in at just after ten. I told myself it would be okay. There was always overtime, time-outs, and stuff like that to make football games last forever. The fourth quarter alone could be as long as the other three combined.
“Next time . . .” Ms. Zook said through her teeth. “I’m gonna make sure your parents know where you are, Drew. I don’t want to be accused of kidnapping or something.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, although I had no intention of telling them. I could take the bus if I had to.
When we pulled up to the school, not as many cars were in the parking lot as I’d hoped. My stomach turned. The game must be over, but the field lights were still on. The lot should be packed, everyone waiting and watching the final plays.
“Drew . . .” Skye said. “I have a feeling you better start saying some prayers.”
I sunk in my seat. “It might be okay. The players have to clean up after.”
Her mom shook her head as she pulled into the spot nearest the school. “Good luck with that.”
“I’ll come with you,” Skye said.
“I’ll wait here,” Ms. Zook said.
We got out of the car, and I went to the door nearest the football field. That one would probably be unlocked. Sure enough, it was, but when we stepped inside it was quiet. No raucous sounds coming from the locker room. No one even around except for us.
“I’m so screwed,” I said under my breath as we walked down the hall.
“You should call him,” Skye said. “Yelling is less bad on the phone.”
“I don’t have my phone, I gave it to . . .” I cringed, thinking of Emma getting calls from my parents and knowing how Skye would react if she found out I was friends with her ex-best friend.
“Who did you give it to?” Skye pressed. “And why?”
“Drew!” a familiar voice came from the adjacent hall. I looked, and my stomach hit the floor. Emma ran up to me, only glancing at Skye. “Where have you been? Your dad called your phone like ten times, and then I had to answer because he couldn’t find you!”
“You gave your phone to her?” Skye asked incredulously. “Why?”
“So she could watch My Little Pony,” I admitted. “And I was at a Brony meet-up, Emma.”
“A what?” Emma shook her head and held up my phone. “Well, your dad and a bunch of his players are scouring the school for you. I was helping since I had no clue where you were either, but my parents are waiting for me in the car. I told them I forgot something in my locker.”
I didn’t take the phone from her. “Sorry, I should have told you—I thought I could get back in time.”
Emma looked behind her to make sure we were alone. “He’s really mad. It was scary.”
I nodded. I felt like I was about to meet the grim reaper, and there was no way around it. “You guys go, okay? If I survive this, I guess I’ll see you on Monday.”
The girls looked at each other. Skye didn’t seem happy about any of this, but she held out her phone to me. “At least give me your number so I can text and make sure you’re okay.”
“You’re assuming I’ll be allowed to text.” I nodded towards Emma. “Hey, Emma, just keep my phone, okay? You may as well use it while I’m grounded for forever.”
“Thanks,” she said, holding it to her chest. “He went to look in the auditorium, so he’s probably still around there.”
“Okay.” I put my hands in my pockets, not sure what to do now that I had Skye and Emma in the same place at the same time. Maybe my life was about to get worse, but here was a chance for them to talk at least. “Get home safe. I’ll see you later.”
I turned, because if I didn’t, they’d see how terrified I was to face my father. But as I headed towards the auditorium, I thought about the night I had just experienced and the people I had met. I held onto the happiness and told myself to fight for that no matter what Dad threw at me.
Because I wanted to be an artist.
I wanted something for the first time in ages.
I didn’t have to enter the auditorium to find my dad. He sat outside on the stairs, talking on the phone to someone. I recognized the guy next to him—Jake. He spotted me first and tapped Dad on the shoulder. He turned, rage in his eyes.
“Found him. We’ll be on our way home after I cuss him out,” he said to who I assumed was Mom. Then he hung up. “Thanks for helping, Jake. Tell the other boys to get home.”
“Yes, sir.” Jake glanced sympathetically at me and was off in the other direction.
“Where the hell have you been?” Dad’s voice burst out, echoing in the empty hall. “Your mother was about to call the cops and report you missing!”
I looked at the ground, my heart pounding in my chest. I could lie now, say I fell asleep somewhere in the school, but it would only put off the inevitable. I wasn’t about to stop watching or liking MLP, and after tonight I cared a little bit less about what other people thought of that. “I went to a Brony meet-up with a friend.”
There was a long pause. “You left the school and went where?”
“To a Brony meet-up. Bronies are guys and older people who like My Little Pony,” I explained. “I like the show an
d wanted to meet other guys who did, too.”
“What?” Dad’s voice went high. He had a hand on his forehead like he was in shock. “That was just a stupid rumor around the school, that you liked that girly show. That wasn’t real. My son wouldn’t like something like that.”
“It’s not a rumor, Dad. It’s true. It’s a good show.” I wished he’d not talk to me like he always did, but as horror filled his eyes, I knew that the stuff he didn’t talk to me about was about to spill out of his mouth.
Chapter 27
DAD LOOKED AT me like I was more alien than ever. I was tired. I wanted to go home and sleep now that I had said what I had been so afraid to admit. Turned out it wasn’t so bad. I felt liberated, almost, even with Dad about to lay into me.
“So, let me get this straight,” he started. “I go out of my way to transfer you here so you can have a clean start, and you go telling people you like a girly cartoon? Do you enjoy being bullied, Son?”
I sighed. “I didn’t start telling people—I stood up for my friend who was getting bullied like I was before.”
He scoffed. “The one you left school with today?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone? Too ashamed?”
I narrowed my eyes, angry and on the verge of retaliating. “No. I let another friend borrow it. Notice how I keep using the word ‘friend.’ I’ve still managed to make those, even if they happen to be people your dumb ball players make fun of.”
“Watch it, boy.” He pointed at me. “You’re in no position to be giving me lip. You left without permission. You’ve been lying to us about what you’ve been doing. And here I find out it’s not even to do normal teenager things! You’re hanging out with a bunch of freaks and losers!”
“They’re not losers!” I yelled back. “I’m not a loser! Just because I’m different than you doesn’t make me a freak.”
He lost it then, coming right up into my face, his voice full blast. “You are a freak! You’re a teen boy watching a show for little girls, which makes you either a pervert or gay.”
“WHAT?” I said, trying to match his volume and failing. Stupid coach vocal chords of his. “Are you insane?”
“You’re not watching that show again,” he growled.
“Are you gonna stop Holly, too, then?” I stepped back from him, worried he might be so mad he’d hit me. “We watch it together—that’s why we’re getting along better. It’s well written, and the animation is good quality, and it doesn’t matter if it was made for girls or boys!”
“Holly is a girl. Or are you a girl, too?”
I wanted to punch something. Which was a bad idea because I’d probably be the one to get hurt. “So if Holly started watching Ninja Turtles or something, would you freak out like this and tell her she’s a lesbian and a pervert for watching a ‘boy show’?”
“That’s not the same thing!”
“It is!” I folded my arms, containing my anger. “Such a shit double standard.”
Dad balled his fists, and I braced myself. But the hit never came. “You’re grounded. And you’re never going to those freak meetings again. And you will stay in my office after school or on the bench during a game for the rest of the damn year.”
“I will not!” I said, the punishment searing my heart because he was taking away all the good things in my life. “It doesn’t even affect you! Why can’t I just do what I like without you being such a jerk about it?”
“It doesn’t affect me?” Dad put his hand on his chest, having the gall to look like he was the victim here. “I can barely tell other people I have a son when I think about explaining you to them.”
I didn’t want his words to cut, but they did. And deep. “You’re that ashamed of me?”
“Of course I am! How did I get such a pansy, loser freak for a son?” He looked away, and in that one motion I knew he’d rather I not existed at all. I was that pathetic and shameful to him—a disappointment.
But instead of feeling the usual, awful pang of guilt, something inside of me let it go. I would never be what he wanted. No matter what I did, I wasn’t the son he had imagined. That wasn’t my fault.
It. Was. Not. My. Fault.
“How did I get such an asshole for a father?” I said under my breath, but it was still loud enough for him to hear.
He shoved me hard enough that I almost hit the ground. “You think you can call your father that? You think you can run off and do whatever stupid thing you want? Fine, find your own damn way home. You ain’t gettin’ in my truck until you show some respect.”
“Good,” I said back. I didn’t want to sit next to him in his dumb truck anyway.
He stalked off, leaving me alone in the hall. I didn’t go after him. I hoped he’d leave me there. Not that I knew what to do after that, but I couldn’t stand to be around him after how he had just treated me. I took a seat on the stairs in front of the auditorium, feeling shaky and way too close to crying. I wouldn’t cry—if I did, Dad would win. He’d be happy his weak baby son was bawling because of him.
I shoved my palms into my eyes. “Do. Not. Cry.”
I didn’t have many options. First off, I didn’t have my phone, so it wasn’t like I could call Mom and ask her to drive all the way out to get me. Who knew whose side she was on anyway? Maybe Dad wouldn’t even let her if she tried.
A bus would get me about forty minutes walking distance from my place, except I didn’t have any cash.
Skye’s house wasn’t far, but it seemed pretty awful to show up and beg for help after I had put them out by not telling my parents where I would be. Her mom seemed pretty mad.
I guess I could stay at the school.
All weekend.
“Hey,” a voice said.
I jumped, looking up at the last person I expected. “Jake?”
“C’mon, I’ll take you home.” He started walking, assuming I’d come with him.
“You’re not doing this for my dad, are you?” I asked.
He stopped and turned back with a nasty glare. “I’m doin’ this for you, idiot. Your dad would bench me for being soft if he found out, so you better keep your mouth shut.”
I stood up, still surprised that Jake would do this for me, but I wasn’t about to turn down the offer. There was no other way I’d get home tonight, so I caught up and followed him to an old pickup with chipped gray paint. We got in without speaking, and it took him a few times revving the engine to get it started.
“She don’t look like much, but she’ll get you home. Promise,” Jake said, pulling out of the parking spot.
“Thanks.” I wasn’t going to push when he was saving my ass, but I had to ask, “Why are you doing this again?”
“Because, Drew . . .” He sighed. “You were right, okay? Your dad’s kind of an asshole. And I can’t believe he’d leave his own kid stranded just because he found out you watch My Little Pony.”
“Oh.” I kept forgetting that Jake was a decent guy, despite his not showing it to most people.
He gulped, pulling at his collar. “And . . . I mighta watched a couple episodes.”
I turned to him, shocked. “What?”
“Just, like, four. To see what all the hoopla was about.”
“Seriously?” A giant smile broke out on my face. Freaking Jake Harvey, bulky ball player and tough guy, watched MLP. “And?”
“I guess I can see why you like it, but if you tell anyone that, I’ll kill you.”
I laughed, this tiny revelation erasing my dad’s cruel words for the moment. “That is awesome. And of course I won’t tell anyone. You better watch out, though, it’s addictive.”
He smirked. “It’s all your fault.”
“Sorry.”
And then he spilled his guts to me. “I’ve worked so hard not to be the loser fat kid I used to be. I learned how to play football. I lost the weight. I stopped playing card games with my nerdy friends, forced myself to go to cool-people parties, found a girlfriend. But you sh
ow up and start doing shit like you don’t care what people think, and I wonder what the hell I did all this for. I’m not happy. Sometimes I wish I was still that fat kid. I miss my old friends. I miss doing things I like.”
It sounded so painfully familiar, like Jake was who I would have been if I’d tried out for freshman football and pretended things were fine. “I thought about trying to do all that, but it felt like too much work.”
“It’s so much work lying to yourself.” He turned on the radio, embarrassed. “Sorry, I’ll shut up now.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, my mind going to Quincy. “I don’t mind. Talking like this, it reminds me of how me and my best friend used to talk. But then I admitted I was into My Little Pony and he kinda made fun of me. It hurt. I was hoping it wouldn’t be like that with him, of all people, but it was. Then here you’re cool with it when I thought you wouldn’t be.”
“You make me wish I had a kid brother,” Jake said. “We should just pretend.”
“Sure.” I pointed to the freeway that would get me home. “Take that one.”
“Okay.”
We didn’t say much after that, but it wasn’t the cold silence Dad constantly gave me. It was late, and Jake was tired after playing in the Homecoming game. I didn’t want to bother him too much more, not when I owed him a ton for picking up the broken pieces of tonight and putting them back together.
Every time things got worse with Dad or school, at least one person out there would be decent. That made this whole “being myself” thing doable.
Chapter 28
I WASN’T SURE what to expect when Jake pulled into my driveway after eleven o’clock. Dad was home, and Mom must have noticed he’d come home without me. Either she’d be mad at him for leaving me or mad at me for disappearing. Maybe both. Probably both.
“I didn’t realize Coach lived so far away,” Jake said as he looked at our house. “Lots of land.”
“Yeah, and we don’t even use it.” I opened the car door. “Hey, thanks again.”
“Don’t mention it.” He leaned closer, smiling. “No, really, do not mention it ever.”
“Got it.” I almost told him to be himself since he was way cooler like this than the personality-less football player. But I got out and headed for my house. I had learned by now that people could not be convinced to be themselves—they had to choose it on their own.