by Julia Donner
Peregrine studied his brother’s searching gaze before speaking. How could this have gone on for so long without being resolved—a stupid misunderstanding and meaningless misconstruing of each other’s reasoning?
“Harry, if I got that girl with child, it would’ve happened with a handshake. That’s as close as I ever got to her. Back then, I was too busy worrying how to scrape up the money to repair the roof or buy another team for the home farm.”
Harry took another step closer. “Then why all the anger at me over the years?”
Peregrine swallowed, then blinked to halt the tears burning his eyes. “Because you are the best of us, Harry, and you wasted your intelligence and calling, squandered everything, to become Society’s darling. I went to war because it’s all I’m fit for. With your brilliance at everything you do, I assumed you’d take better care of Mother than I ever could. And Harry, you did.”
When Harry turned his scowling attention to the sun glowing through the windowpanes, Peregrine released the sadness he’d been holding inside for years. “You were born to be anything, but most especially, a man of God, and you threw it away...all of it…for nothing.”
Harry looked back, that searching, piercing blue gaze so full of intelligence and everything else Peregrine could never be. He admired his brother more than any other living person, besides his Elizabeth. Both of them had managed to twist him into knots too painful to untangle. Both were enigmas, because he stood too closely to them and loved them too much to figure them out.
His brother settled the rift without another word. He crossed the empty space between them and embraced him with a grip so fierce it hurt.
Peregrine didn’t hesitate to return the hug, soaking in the greatly missed bond. Elizabeth held one half of his soul, but Harry was the other half of his body and mind since the womb. He’d spent the last years feeling haunted and lost without this physical connection.
In a choked voice, Peregrine begged, “What hasn’t she told me?”
Harry stepped back, gripped his shoulders, and smiled the smile that dazzled the world. “I’m going to be an uncle.”
The floor fell away from under Peregrine’s boots. If Harry hadn’t been clasping his arms, he might have actually passed out.
He choked out, “Pregnant?”
Harry laughed. “That’s how it happens. Lud, Perry, you’ve faced down canon fire. You should see yourself. Not a drop of color left.” His expression turned solemn, then hardened. “But Perry, you’ve got to give up that Vernon woman.”
Peregrine was still trying to cope with the fact he was about to become a father. Lost again, he repeated, “Mrs. Vernon?”
“Mother must be having a fit in heaven with you down here keeping a bit of muslin, while your wife does her duty to the family.”
Peregrine gave his brother a shove on the chest. “Muslin? Mrs. Vernon isn’t anybody’s mistress. And what makes you think I could afford muslin on the side?”
“Well, you are married to the richest—”
Harry wisely cut off that accusation when Peregrine sent him a warning glare. “Sorry. I should’ve known you’d never sink to that sort of bad ton.” He strode to the mirror and snatched up a freshly pressed cravat from a five-tiered stand. The wooden dowels had been neatly draped with pristine neckcloths waiting to be tied and tossed aside if not perfect.
Keeping his gaze on the mirror, Harry whistled but broke off his happy tune to say, “I’ve wasted enough time on you. By this evening, everyone in town will know that I’m going to be an uncle. Bless my Lizzie. Do you know, I wrote to her to make her promise to name the heir after me. Think she will?”
“You told me you didn’t know where she went.”
“I don’t. I had Crimm deliver it. Not surprised he refused to tell you where she’s gone. You should be grateful he didn’t slit your throat while you slept.”
Peregrine shook himself out of shock’s stupor. “I need to borrow your curricle. And your best team.”
“The blacks are fastest but not trained well enough yet. Take the dappled-grey team. Endurance to spare but don’t bring them back wind broke.”
“Right.” At the door, he paused to ask, “Blast it, Harry. How many head of cattle do you have?”
“A dozen or so. Won another team last night. But wait, how do you plan to find Lizzie?”
Peregrine smiled. “I’m a spy, remember?”
Harry laughed, flipped a wrinkled length of cloth over his shoulder, and reached for another. “Kiss Lizzie for me when you catch her.”
Chapter 41
Elizabeth opened the window. The sea breeze rushed by her, moist and briny against her face. Seagulls wheeled and screeched, swooping down to fight over fish scraps thrown off the edge of the wharf. Farther out in the bay, ship bells rang out the time.
She sat on the window seat and allowed the atmosphere to soak into her soul. But nothing helped. The ache remained, heavy as an anvil inside her chest, as heavy as her husband’s feet of clay.
“My lady, would you like refreshment?”
Elizabeth turned to Merrick. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“It is your habit to have tea following your afternoon nap.”
“I suppose that would be nice. Thank you, Merrick.”
“This establishment does not have your favorite blend. There is a shop on the corner that has a fine selection of teas. Would you like me to make a purchase?”
“A shop on the corner? Yes. If you wouldn’t mind. Take what you need from the jewelry case. You know where I keep the coins.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Merrick returned to the bedchamber and stood in the doorway. “My lady, you will not mind being left alone?”
Elizabeth masked the sudden pinch of pain that pierced the hard lump in her chest. Alone. Yes, she certainly did mind the idea of being alone, but the kind of alone that meant Peregrine was no longer a part of her life. In the morning, she’d board the ship in the harbor and sail across the channel or wherever that ship planned to go. That would be her destination, anywhere Asterly wasn’t.
“Go on, Merrick. I’m quite all right.”
“This is a harbor town with a tavern a few doors away. A rather rough element is likely to loiter near the harbor. Perhaps I should lock the door.”
“If you think it best, but not to worry. I have no plans to leave this view for a while. Have a nice walk. No rush. I can wait for my tea.”
She didn’t know how long she sat staring out at waves lapping over the stones on the shoreline. The shushing sounds felt soothing. Trickles of stinging tears intruded on her lethargy. She rubbed them away with the back of her wrist then used it to cover a yawn. The nap made no improvement on the weariness that came every afternoon.
Merrick had said that sleepiness was to be expected, and remembered it well, even though her son was old enough now to be sent to a school to prepare for Harrow. It seemed impossible that the boy was that old. Merrick had been a girl, only fifteen, when Crimm had asked for the pregnant girl to be hired. Plans would have to be discussed for future enrollment at one of the universities, an easier topic to think about than finding a peaceful place to have her own child. Perhaps Italy.
She flinched when someone knocked on the sitting room door. After a deep sigh, she left the window seat to answer. Reaching for the handle, she opened and said, “Did you forget your key?”
A woman stood in the inn hallway, her face and shoulders concealed by a peach-colored veil. Before Elizabeth could say anything, the woman said, “I am Forsythia Vernon, Lady Asterly. May I come in?”
The Vernon woman didn’t wait for permission. She entered with confidence and paused in the center of the room. Pain tore across Elizabeth’s chest, followed by humiliation, which got seared away by a vibrant shaft of outrage. Passion rippled along her arms. How dare she? How dare this female trespass into her grief?
Furious words, eager to rip out of Elizabeth’s soul, died when the woman turned around while lift
ing the veil. Surprise smothered fury and rooted Elizabeth to the floor. Peregrine preferred older women?
Mrs. Vernon smiled. Silver gleamed in the blond strands dislodged from the underside of her hat. Fine lines fanned out from the corners of wise, light brown eyes. Her features were delicate, the sort that as the years passed would become narrow and fragile. Even though extraordinarily handsome, Mrs. Vernon was still old enough to be Peregrine’s mother.
Her voice held the lilt of gentle humor. “Now that I’ve bullied my way through the door, may I sit?”
Again, she did so without permission. Where was Merrick with that tea?
Mrs. Vernon set aside her crocheted reticule. “I must apologize again, it seems. I’ve shocked you. Not the sort one would expect Peregrine to have for a mistress. Am I correct in thinking you assumed that?”
With the tirade angry of words still locked in her throat, Elizabeth nodded and sat in a chair across from this unexpected visitor. Merrick chose that moment to bustle through the door. She halted on the threshold to take in the scene. Setting aside the bundles she carried, Merrick swiftly crossed the room to stand by Elizabeth’s chair.
“Is there anything I might do for you, my lady?”
Elizabeth swallowed down a different surge of emotion. Merrick, always so proper and dignified, stood by her side, bristling like a guard dog. Mrs. Vernon’s unaffected gaze followed Elizabeth’s hand when she touched Merrick’s fist.
“Thank you, Merrick. I am quite all right. My visitor is known to Asterly. If you wouldn’t mind, I should like cake or biscuits with the tea.”
“If you’re positive, my lady.”
Elizabeth nodded and felt rather than saw Merrick reach out to extend a comforting touch but withdrew. A proper servant would never presume. Merrick didn’t know it yet, but as soon as possible, Elizabeth hoped to find another dresser and employ Merrick as a companion. Having a child on one’s own and fleeing to parts unknown to hide and keep her child was not an endeavor one did alone. Money paved all avenues, but not those ruined by aloneness. She’d had too many years of that.
When the hallway door closed behind Merrick, Mrs. Vernon said, “You may not be aware of this, but when with child, emotions tend to escalate to an alarming degree. Small amounts of plain foods and tepid tea will help.”
“You have children, Mrs. Vernon?”
“Two sons. Both taken by recent wars.”
Wild emotions swerved down another path. Compassion swamped her reasoning but she managed to murmur condolences.
“Thank you, Lady Asterly, for your kind words, but we must get to the point. There is a tiger pacing the floors of the tavern downstairs, waiting for your reply.”
Elizabeth felt her eyes widen. “Asterly? He found me here already?”
“To be precise, I found you here. You see, I’m the one who taught Peregrine espionage. My husband, the late colonel, showed him how to survive battle and unfamiliar terrain.”
“You were a—”
“Spy. Yes. Still active. Peregrine has kept my efforts a secret for nearly a decade. But now, we are hopefully at peace for a while. I want a new life for him. Now that you know I am not affiliated with the major in any capacity other than military, will you forgive him? I’ve never seen him so overwrought.”
“Mrs. Vernon, I think you are more than comrades. Please, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I meant, you appear to care for him as a friend.”
She arranged the veil over her face and shoulders and picked up her reticule. Standing, she replied, “I think of him as a son. A replacement for my loss. He can be quite protective and hides a great deal out of habit. Or training. I believe I should fetch him before he chews up the furniture.”
Mrs. Vernon extended her hand. “Good-bye, Lady Asterly.”
Elizabeth accepted the hand that felt small in her own and realized the woman was much shorter than herself. Before she could say that she hoped to see Mrs. Vernon again, the hallway door swung open. Asterly filled the doorway, his clothes rumpled and dark smudges under his eyes.
Mrs. Vernon swept up to him and placed a gloved hand on his cheek. “Calm, child. All is well.”
Not taking his gaze from Elizabeth’s stare, he said to Mrs. Vernon, “Thank you for everything, Sythie. There’s a carriage waiting downstairs to take you back to Mayfair. I know you could handle Harry’s horses, but I’d rather you had a more restful journey home.”
Her sultry laugh sent Elizabeth’s imagination to wondering what Mrs. Vernon had been like when younger. Asterly broke off his gaze to kiss Mrs. Vernon on the cheek. She paused in the doorway to turn and say to Elizabeth, “I hope you don’t mind, but I plan to find your excellent servant and ask her to give you and Peregrine privacy. In this instance, tea can wait. Good luck to you both.”
The instant the door closed, Asterly was across the room, crushing her close. One hand spread across her back to press her against his chest. The other clutched her head to his shoulder. It felt like he hoped to sink her inside his body, absorb her completely and never let her go. Then he stepped back, lifted her up, and sat in the chair with her on his lap.
“Eliza, please don’t ever do that again. I couldn’t think clearly enough to find you. If not for Sythie, you would’ve sailed off without me. Wouldn’t you?”
She nodded and touched the fading bruises on his temple. “I was so angry with you. I didn’t know where I was going to go. Running from the hurt. Not thinking straight myself. Did Harry lend you one of his mad teams to come here?”
“He has some of the fastest goers in town.” He smiled sadly. “Didn’t know where I was going but was demmed determined to get there quickly.”
“Your wonderful brother is going to break my heart if he gets himself killed driving half-wild horses.” When something dark and sad moved within his gaze, she shook her head at him. “Peregrine, stop it. I love your brother dearly, but I’m not, and never will be, in love with him.”
“Elizabeth, I know this is difficult for you to imagine, and perhaps harder for me to explain, but you have been everything to me for years. I see you don’t believe it, but the dream of you and a life with you kept me going. Whether thirsting in the heat or freezing on a barren mountainside, I kept living because of you, your image from Devon’s miniature. Later, after Devon was gone, I kept it with me, dreamed of a life of purpose with you, having children who played in my falling down house. Growing quietly old somewhere. No more battles, sneaking, making deals, killing. Just the two of us, loving and living somewhere no one or nothing could separate us. I can tell by your face that you don’t believe me.”
She looked down, watched her fingers twist a vest button. “This is the first time you’ve declared yourself. You only talked about how much you needed me as a partner for the war.”
“I see. I’ve never told you how I can’t live without you?”
“Not once.”
“That rascal brother of mine warned me, called me dense about such things. Blast it, he’s right again. How may I make it up to you? Sonnets? Reams of them about your many charms? What about an ode to that adorable birthmark you have—”
She swatted his arm to make him stop but couldn’t hold back a grin. “I’ll only forgive you if you accept the terms of a pact.”
He looked heavenward in pretended dread. “Oh, no, not legalities. I’m even more dense about that than I am at being a proper lover.”
“Oh, you do very well with the lover part. Stop smirking. This pact has to do with your brother. I’ll believe that you’ve loved me in secret, if you’ll believe me when I promise you that there’s no way that I could ever love Harry as much as I love you.”
He smiled, the glorious one, the one like his twin’s that could light up a darkened room or night sky. He lowered the arm supporting her, leaning her back so he could spread his opened hand over her abdomen.
Looking down at his fingers spread wide over the child nestled inside, he whispered, “The blackguard made me promise to
name our firstborn Harald.”
She shook her head and sat up. After tapping the tip of his nose, she counter offered, “I prefer Harriet.”
Dear Reader:
If you liked this book, please consider writing a review, and check out the excerpt for THE RAKE AND THE BISHOP’S DAUGHTER, the third book in the Friendship Series, which follows this list of titles.
Fantasy by M.L.Rigdon
Seasons of Time trilogy
PROPHECY DENIED
BEYOND THE DARK MOUNTAINS
HER QUEST FOR THE LANCE
Contemporary
THE ATLANTIS CRYSTAL (A Philadelphia Hafeldt novel)
SEDUCTIVE MINES (Another Philadelphia Hafeldt adventure)
NEVER LET ME DIE (Romantic suspense with paranormal elements)
YA Fantasy
Songs of Atlantis series
THE VITAL
MASTER OF THE DARK
CANTICLE OF DESTRUCTION (Spring 2014)
INTO THE EAST (Fall 2014)
Writing Historical Fiction as Julia Donner
The Friendship series
THE TIGRESSE AND THE RAVEN
THE HEIRESS AND THE SPY
THE RAKE AND THE BISHOP’S DAUGHTER (Fall 2014)
Coming Fall 2014, Sir Harry’s story!
Society’s beloved wastrel, Sir Harry Collyns, pushes his popularity past the point of acceptability when he posed for a statue that creates a sensation. People line up for blocks to see Handsome Harry in the nude, sculpted by a female artist! Bored with the fuss and scandal, Harry hitches up his fastest team, heads for the country, and a near fatal curricle accident.
When the bandages are removed from his head days later, he discovers the angel-voiced widow who’d cared for him is neither elderly nor as mild as her tone, but a straight-laced do-gooder unimpressed with his flamboyant past and dashing good looks. Head-battered and heading for a broken heart, he falls into love with Mrs. Olivia St. Clair, who might be the one woman in England Harry can’t charm into loving him back.