by Claire Adams
“I promise that we will fit,” he said. “You’re more than ready for me. Feel for yourself.”
He coaxed my hand down between my legs. My eyes widened at the heat and moisture I felt on my fingertips. The mattress groaned as he shifted above me, elbows straddling my head and knees between my thighs.
My heart threatened to burst when nerves crashed over me again. The first nudge of hardness against me intimately stole the breath right out of my lungs. Pain shot through my hips.
“Relax,” he whispered against my temple, pressing his lips there for a kiss. “Just relax, and let yourself enjoy it.”
I sucked in a harsh breath and forced my muscles to relax down there. The sting of Noah sliding in fully to the hilt brought tears to my eyes, but the pain wasn’t what I’d feared it’d be for so long. He rocked his hips against mine gently, letting out little moans against my ear as he set a slow and even rhythm.
The pain dulled slightly. I dug my nails into Noah’s arms when he shifted slightly to thrust even more deeply. He groaned harshly before rising up to rest his weight on one hand and used his free hand to reach between our bodies while he continued to thrust hard.
Pleasure burst through the pain in my lower belly as he rubbed the pad of his thumb against me. I was back dashing along the platform again with Noah panting heavily above me.
I was so close to something beyond the horizon when the spring in my belly finally released. Pleasure barreled through me.
“Fuck,” Noah grunted out, grabbing a hold of my thigh and pushing it up on his shoulder. Sweat beaded across his forehead, dripping down onto me, but I didn’t care. I never wanted to forget the look of sheer and utter pleasure contorting his face in a grimace.
His hips twitched against me roughly before something hot and wet filled me. We collapsed against one another in a sweaty and panting mess. I blinked back against the onslaught of tears streaming from the corner of my eyes. I wiped them away from my eyes before Noah propped himself up to look at me in concern.
“Are you all right?” he asked, panting slightly. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
In truth, I ached horribly down there. I hissed slightly when he slid out from me.
“I hurt a little,” I admitted, and those damn emotions washed over me again. I tried to distract myself by gazing at Noah as he stretched out on the bed next to me with a contented sigh. He rested a hand on my back when I sat up with a grimace.
“Do you want to use the shower?” he asked. “Sometimes, hot water can help with the ache afterwards.”
Tears filled my eyes at those words. I tried to battle them away by looking away from him before he could catch sight of the tears. Of course, this wasn’t Noah’s first time. I had known that coming into his room. He obviously had plenty of experience in the bedroom to know what feels good for a woman with less experience.
“Towels are hanging up,” he continued. “I’ll join you in a minute.”
I nodded wordlessly before climbing off the bed to walk on wobbly legs to the bathroom. I waited for the shower to steam before slipping into the hot water with a relieved sigh. True to Noah’s word, the hot water trailing down my back and legs dulled the sting between my legs. I allowed the spray to soak my hair while I allowed the tears to flow. I had no idea why I was even crying, but I sat on the tiled floor and cried.
If anyone ever found out about us…
More tears filled my eyes at the thought. All my hard work for the past four years would drain like the hot water trailing off of me. Noah would be fine. He had talent. He was famous. He had everything underneath his feet.
I had nothing. I was only a few months away from having a degree and a way out of Utah.
Running my hand through my soaked hair, I listened to Noah walk around the bedroom. The bathroom door opened a moment later. I rubbed away the lingering tears from my eyes right as the shower door opened.
I looked up to find Noah standing there naked. Despite the pain and confusing array of emotions going through me, desire swirled in my stomach again. He closed the shower door without saying a word. To my surprise, he sat down on the shower floor with me, allowing the hot water to flow over the curve of his back.
We sat there with our knees brushing against one another. I didn’t have to look up to read the expression on Noah’s face to know he felt the same weight. Instead, I just stared at the water circling around the drain.
Chapter Seventeen
Noah
The sound of the shower turning on stirred me from a dreamless sleep. My arm reached out to touch a pillow before I remembered that Iris had asked to sleep in the guest room last night. I rubbed at my face while I listened to the shower door open and then close. I couldn’t help it. My mind instantly went straight to the previous night with Iris, naked and squirming in pleasure underneath me.
I sighed when I felt myself harden at the memory of how hot and tight she had felt against me. I hadn’t expected anything from her staying with me, but I sure as hell wasn’t in the position to turn down something I wanted badly.
Still, I forced my aching body to cool it. It didn’t take a body language expert to see that Iris was overwhelmed with what had happened between us the night before. I didn’t want to force myself on her when she clearly wanted to be left alone to process everything.
I dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving my room to make coffee and start on breakfast. The smell of sizzling bacon filled the kitchen right when I looked up to see Iris emerging from the hallway, her bags at her side.
My heart dropped at the sight, but I kept my face neutral as possible. I wasn’t a romantic type of man. I didn’t expect Iris to stay afterwards if she didn’t want to, but I still felt a flicker of deep disappointment. I enjoyed every minute I spent with Iris, even if it were talking about mundane things.
She caught my gaze nervously. “I think I am going to go home and visit my mom for the rest of break.”
“If that is what you want to do,” I said. “You are more than welcome to stay here, too, if you really don’t want to leave.”
She tucked a damp piece of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to go,” she admitted, fiddling with the strap of her duffle bag. “I just think it’d be for the best for me to go see my mom. Make sure she is okay.”
“If that’s what you want to do,” I repeated myself, but the words felt hollow. I motioned to the bacon cooking in the frying pan on the stove. “Let me cook some breakfast before you go. We can talk. We probably should talk.”
She hesitated for a moment, but slowly slipped the strap of her bag down her arm. Silence stretched on between us while I cooked breakfast. I watched Iris as she nibbled at a piece of bacon while gazing down at her plate.
“I’m not leaving because I regret anything,” she said, eventually. She looked up at me when I reached across the table to pour her more coffee. “I’m leaving because we can’t do this again. We can’t do it again, Noah. We broke a huge rule that could expel me without hesitation. You could be fired, too.”
“I know,” I said. The reality of it was that I wanted Iris more than anything now that I had her, but she was right. We had to think of the consequences of getting caught. “It pains me to say this, but you’re right. It can’t happen again.” On a second thought, I added, “Not until you’re done with school, at least.”
“You want to see me still?”
I frowned at the confusion in her voice. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”
“I’m not your type,” she said blandly. She brandished a hand at herself. “I mean, look at me. I’ve seen some of the women you’ve hooked up with. On the internet, I mean.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her nervous babbling. Reaching forward, I placed a hand on Iris’ soft hand. Her eyes immediately shot down to where my hand rested.
“You’re too harsh on yourself,” I commented. “Don’t believe everything you read online.”
She looked up at me curiously. “You
didn’t sleep with all those women, then?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. This was the exact reason why I never wanted to be in a relationship: you had to get through the past to move on with the future. My past was my past, and I didn’t want to think about it anymore. Still, I felt compelled to tell Iris the truth somewhat.
“I’m not proud of it,” I said, honestly. I squeezed her clammy fingers. “None of that matters anymore. It’s in the past where it belongs.”
We were silent for a long time. She finally slipped her hand out from under mine.
“Thank you for everything,” she said, softly. She smiled slightly at me, dropping her piece of bacon back on the plate. “I better go while I can. It takes an hour to get to my mother’s house, and the roads are probably shit after the storm.”
“You can stay longer if you need to,” I offered, but she shook her head. “I don’t want you driving on the roads if they are bad.”
“I’ll be fine. I know how to drive in the snow, believe it or not.”
She rose from the table to gather her bags. I followed her out, aching to reach out and touch her again, but I kept my hands to myself.
A few neighbors were out shoveling off their driveways while a plow cleared the road. Everything was covered in snow, and I helped Iris clear her car off while it warmed. Once her windows were clear of snow, she kissed me on the cheek and gave me a quick hug before hopping behind the steering wheel.
“Thank you,” she said, again. “I’ll see you back at school after break.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “See you then.”
I watched her back down the driveway before slowly disappearing down the road. The cold morning air tore at my heated body. I walked back into the house to inhale the smell of bacon grease and the faint sugary smell of Iris’ perfume that been on her skin the night before. I cleaned up the kitchen to keep myself distracted from how empty the house felt.
Did every woman feel like this after we’d hooked up?
After a long hot shower with teasing images of Iris in the back of my mind, I called Hunter to get out of the house before I went insane and tracked Iris down myself.
“I need to go blow some steam off,” I said. “Do you have any plans this afternoon?”
“Not until this evening,” he replied, and I heard a feminine giggle in the background. “I’m serious, bro. I have to be back this evening.”
Pure curiosity took a hold of me. “What are you doing this evening?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell you later,” he said, shortly. “Where do you want to meet?”
“At the basketball courts ten minutes away from me? I need to do something that will get my blood pumping in a good way.”
“See you there.”
The drive to the courts took longer than I anticipated thanks to the slick roads, but I pulled up right as Hunter finished shoveling half the basketball court off. He passed me the ball as I stomped off snow from my shoes.
Swish. The ball slipped easily from my hands. My heart pumped up while I shook out the tension in my legs and arms. I passed the ball back to Hunter who also shot the ball off into nothing but net.
“So,” he started. “Why do you need to blow off some steam?”
I dribbled the ball back and forth between my legs. “I got caught up in something I probably shouldn’t have been caught up in.”
I took a shot. The ball swished through the net as well into Hunter’s expecting hands.
“Like what?”
We switched places as he jogged with the ball up to edge of where he had shoveled the snow off. He dribbled while he waited for me to answer.
“There’s a student at PHU who needed a place to stay for spring break. I-” I ducked as a basketball zoomed by my head. I straightened up to glare at Hunter. “What the fuck, man? I was telling you the story.”
“You let a student stay at your house?” He looked exasperated. “What is wrong with you? We had this discussion before you even started. Sleeping with students is-”
“How do you know that’s what it was all about?” I demanded, picking the ball out of a snowdrift.
“Because I know you. I can always tell when you are interested in someone because you scheme to get them. You’re telling me you didn’t invite this student to your house without getting them in bed with you in the back of your mind?” I looked away. “That’s what I thought. Tell me what happened.”
We dribbled the ball back and forth as I told him everything that had happened over the past few weeks – excluding the part about Iris being a virgin. I didn’t know how I felt about it still. I was pretty sure that Iris didn’t know what to feel about it, either, from how quick and guarded she had been with me.
Once I finished, Hunter grinned at me as he stole the ball right out of my hands to jog down the court.
“You’re telling me that she left you this morning?” He laughed when I threw a fist full of snow in his direction. “Wow. You must’ve really fucked up to have that woman running for the hills first thing in the morning. That’s a first for you.”
“Funny,” I grumbled in irritation. “I’m in deep shit. I don’t know what to do now.”
Hunter tossed the ball up in the air before catching it. “I thought that was rather obvious. You can’t go after her. Not if she wants to graduate or if you want to keep your job.”
“I know. I just don’t know if I can stay away from her. I see her three days a week along with tutoring.”
“Does she honestly even need tutoring?” he asked, giving me a knowing glance. “Or was it an excuse to get close to her?”
“Both,” I said, honestly. “What would you do if you were in my situation?”
He gazed out across the snowy landscape for a moment.
“If I really cared for her, I’d give her some space. Let her graduate. We had our chances to go out and do things. Don’t you think she might deserve her chance?”
“Of course I do,” I replied, sighing. “I’m sorry for dragging your ass out here in the middle of the cold and snow.”
“That’s what brothers are for.” He threw the ball at me with a grin. “Rain or fucking snow. Speaking of that, I’m freezing. Let’s head back to our cars.”
We trudged through the knee-high snow. I waited for Hunter to toss his snow shovel back into his truck.
“What are you doing this evening?” I asked. “It sounded damn important on the phone.”
“It is important,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “I plan on getting laid this evening. The wife decided to come home, and I told her that I wanted to take her out to dinner.”
“To gloss things over?”
He sighed wearily. “Being married is exhausting sometimes. You can’t let your wife be mad at you for too long, or else you’ll end up paying for it. I’m paying for it by taking her to the most expensive restaurant just to get back under the sheets with her.”
“I hope you get laid for the both of us then,” I said.
“Yeah, me, too.”
Before I slipped behind the steering wheel, I turned to look over at Hunter. He read my expression perfectly.
“Everything you tell me is always kept between us,” he said, seriously. “Don’t worry about me telling anyone.”
I relaxed the assurance. “Thanks. I appreciate that, man.”
“Just watch your back, though. I wouldn’t say a word to anybody about what happened if you plan to keep your job and her reputation in check.”
“Not planning on saying a word.”
I drove away after Hunter waved goodbye. I knew that I could trust him with my darkest of secrets. He was the only friend who kept shit private, but I knew he was also right.
We’d crossed the line. If anyone ever found out, both Iris and I would be walking the plank together.
Chapter Eighteen
Iris
I sighed in aggravation when another car in front of me slammed on the brakes to fishtail slightly. Maybe leaving Noah’s
house had been a mistake – at least this early with the roads completely slick and snowy.
I eased off the accelerator to give the car in front of me plenty of time to correct itself. There were only a few cars on the highway, but I still had to keep my eyes peeled for inexperienced drivers.
Staying meant being in the same room with Noah again. It also meant temptation to feel his hands on my body again, coaxing out delicious sensations.
I hadn’t known what to think at first. None of Bailey’s grand stories about earth-shattering sex had been accurate. It honestly hurt like a bitch the first time, despite the pleasure that had lingered in the background.
And, I had a feeling that the next time would be even better.
I curled my fingers around the steering wheel to keep myself from turning onto the last exit that would take me back to Noah’s house. We had already broken so many rules. I’d watched students get expelled because of what I did. I watched teachers get booted without any questions.
I was so close to graduating. I couldn’t afford to get distracted by Noah. I just needed to keep myself focused for the next couple of months. Even if it killed me.
The curtains of my mother’s living room were drawn still despite it being morning. To my relief, the car was also still parked with snow packed on it. My stomach curled in dread when I parked on the street before cutting the engine. This was the last place I wanted to be, but I had no other choice. I couldn’t afford a hotel, and I needed the internet to finish my homework.
Finding the snow shovel in the garage, I exerted what energy I had left to shovel the snow. Months ago, the neighbors had stopped trying to keep my mother’s house maintained. They knew just as well as I did that their efforts to help went unnoticed. I think they figured the same thing I did: at least the snow kept her from trying to drive drunk. And, that’s exactly what it had done before she passed out in the front yard looking for the car keys beneath the snow.
Panting heavily from shoveling, I grabbed my bags and headed up the freshly shoveled driveway to the front door. I pushed the front door open and the smell of rotten fruit filled my nose. I controlled the urge to gag as I dumped my bags on the bottom step of the stairs.