“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Besides if you leave I will lose my snuggle buddy,” I smile up at him.
“Oh, I see how it is. Well if I'm staying, can I at least put my super nice car in your garage and grab a pair of sweats out of my bag in the car?”
“If you must. But I cannot be held responsible if I am laying here snoring when you get back.”
“Wait, you snore? I can’t sleep here if you snore.”
“It’s possible. I have been told that I do indeed snore. You can always chance that long boring drive home.”
He smiles at me as he climbs out of bed, “nah, I will take my chances. If it gets too bad I will just throw you on the floor.”
“Good luck with that. You may think you are strong but I am willing to bet I will put up a good fight for my bed.”
He bends down and kisses my forehead, “I will be right back,” he walks out the bedroom door. I am laying there watching the highlights from the game when I hear one of the girls start crying. I jump out of bed and run to Lizzy’s room.
“Hey baby, what’s wrong,” I instantly crawl in bed with her.
“I had a bad dream mommy,” she buries her head in my shoulder.
“Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. What was it?”
“Our house was on fire and no one could get it to go out.”
I shudder when she tells me. I remember her having dreams like that right after Jarrod was gone, but she hasn’t had them in a really long time. “It’s ok baby. We are safe I promise. You know mommy is here and I will protect you.” She hugs me tighter.
“Mommy, I'm scared.”
“I know,” I sit there rubbing her back. I hear Jake come back in the house. I wonder if her knowing he is there will make her feel better. I look down at her and see her just staring across the room. “Hey, would it make you feel better if I told you Jake is here and he will protect us?”
“He is?” I think I see her smile a little.
“Yeah, you want me to go get him?” She nods. I get up and catch him just as he is about to go up the steps to my room. “Jake, Lizzy wants to see you.” He turns and smiles at me. “She had a bad dream,” I tell him as he walks through the door.
“Hey Lizzy,” he sits on her bed.
“Hi, Jake. I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”
“Yeah, I wanted to stop and see you guys. Mommy told me you had a long day of cheering,” I see his face brighten at the thought of them cheering for him.
“Yeah, me and Abby cheered really hard.” She smiles at me. “Mommy, come sit with us,” she pats the bed next to her. I walk across the room and sit on the other side of her. She grabs my hand and holds it tight. “I love you mommy,” she snuggles her head on my arm. Then she reaches for Jake’s hand, “And I like you a lot too.” I hear Jake let out a little laugh. He reaches behind her and puts his free hand on my neck and rubs. We sit there long enough for her to fall back to sleep. Once I know she is sound asleep I motion for him to go out of the room. I tuck her back in and kiss her cheek. Where would I be without my girls? I love them so much and don’t know what I would do if anything happened to them.
“Did you tell her I was here?” He asks me when I go into my room.
“Yeah, she had a bad dream. After Jarrod passed away she would always have dreams that our house was on fire and the three of us where trapped inside and no one could get to us. She hasn’t had them in a really long time. I really hope that it doesn’t start again. I thought things would get better.” I sit on the edge of the bed.
“Hey, they will. Maybe it is just because this is her first night here. This is a new house to her you know. Maybe it is just because she doesn’t feel safe here yet.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I crawl back into bed and under the covers. I notice that he has changed already and he crawls in next to me. “Thanks for coming in by her. I think it made her feel better. Maybe she is like me and feels safer with you next to her.”
He smiles at me, “I think I should be the one that feels safe with you. I mean in all honesty all I do is throw a football around, you shoot at people for a living.”
“No I don’t, I haven’t for a while. I just investigate the people that shoot at people,” I laugh. “Oh yeah, that reminds me, I should probably tell you since I had an emotional break down because of him. I got a text from Ryan this morning. I guess his girlfriend left him. From what he told me she has been cheating on him and he had a feeling but didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Wow that sucks. How do you think he will handle being kicked off your division along with that?”
“I actually emailed Chief this afternoon and told him that I don’t want him as my partner anymore, but I'm not going to kick him out. But I asked him to let me be the one to explain it to him face to face. I think he will take it easier that way.”
“Are you still going to replace him with someone else?”
“Yeah, I think I am going to bring one of the squad members up. Her name is Alicia Turner. She is a damn good cop. She was actually here Friday night. I have had my eye on her for a couple months now. And now that Chief gave me the go ahead to take over the division completely I am going to take advantage of it.”
“I'm glad you’re taking control of the situation. And I'm glad you found out what was going on with Ryan. Now you know the reasoning behind his outburst, even though it is still super shitty he did it.”
“Yeah, but I understand. Not only is our job stressful, but you add the stress of home life and something like that to the mix, it really takes a toll. Been there, done that. Not something that I want to experience ever again.”
He pulls me close to him and I lay my head down on his chest again. “Jo?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think that there is more than one someone for everyone?”
I look up at him, “what do you mean?”
“I know you already found your someone, and that was Jarrod. I guess I'm wondering if you think that you could have another someone.”
“I think if I find that perfect connection with a guy then yes. But I am not ready for that yet. It’s more than just me, and I know you know that, but I have to take the girls into consideration before I can make a huge decision like that. I know we have this unexplainable connection and it is amazing, but I don’t want to rush into anything and have both of us end up getting hurt. And more importantly, I don’t want the girls getting hurt.”
“Is that the reason that you didn’t date at all?”
“A big part yes. I don’t want the girls getting attached to someone and then have them walk out on us. I have had enough heartbreak in my life and I don’t think I could handle losing someone else that I love. Trust me when I say that losing someone like that is the worst thing that can happen. I thought my world was going to end right then and there when Jarrod’s battalion chief showed up on my doorstep that morning. I cried for days and days. I don’t want to feel that again. I don’t think I could handle that again.”
He rubs my back softly, “Well I could never hurt you, or the girls for that matter. I don’t think I could just walk out on you. I have pretty much committed myself to you. I know that sounds like too much too soon, but I don’t want to take the chance of losing you.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“The way you talk about not feeling this connection before, is that true, or have you felt it but had your heart broken?” He stops rubbing my back and I feel him tense up a little. I sit up and look at him. “You can tell me, I'm not going to hold anything against you. You said it yourself, we are probably going to find out much worse things about each other the longer we are together.”
“My Junior year in college I had a girlfriend that I was very much in love with. We were together for a little over a year and I proposed to her. Of course I knew we were young, but I loved her, a lot. She said yes, and we were going to get married after we both graduated. We weren�
�t in a hurry because she was trying to finish school too. I got drafted and went to San Diego and she stayed in Texas to finish out school. I went back at the end of the year of our senior year to watch her graduate. She didn’t know I was coming I thought it would be nice to surprise her. Well, I got the surprise when I went to her place and found out that she had been living with this guy for the last two months. I wasn’t the only one though, he didn’t know about me either. So she lost everything. I took my ring from her and walked out the door and never looked back. I pretty much threw myself into my career at that point. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I didn’t date because I did. A lot! I was actually a lot like my little brother is now, a different girl every two weeks. I told myself I was not going to get hurt like that again. And I knew that being a “super star quarterback” was not going to make it any easier. I was not looking for this at all when I gave you my number at the bar Thursday night. I thought a couple dates and that would be it. I never ever anticipated feeling like this.”
I sit straight up and look into his eyes; I have not seen this pain in his eyes. “I'm sorry,” I run my fingers along his jaw. “I didn’t mean to push.”
He laughs, “I'm glad you asked. I needed to tell you.” He grabs my hand and kisses my palm. It sends tingles down my arm. He turns my hand over and kisses the back of my hand. “Jo, I don’t know how to act around you. I have so many feelings for you that I am not used to. I haven’t had to deal with something like this since then and I don’t know how to deal with it right now.”
“Just tell me,” I grab his other hand with my free one.
“I think I'm falling in love with you.” I see the fear in his eyes about how I am going to react.
“I think I knew that,” I lean in and kiss him. I can’t stop myself this time and I pull him closer to me. I feel his need for me. I have no plan of stopping but he pulls away. He leans his forehead against mine.
“Now is not the time,” he kisses the end of my nose.
“Jake.”
“Please Jo, I don’t know if I can’t stop you again and I don’t want to rush that. We agreed, remember?” He sits back up against the headboard like he was. “Please just come here,” he opens his arms. I lay back down like I was. I feel really tired all of a sudden and last thing I remember is him turning off the TV and kissing my hand.
~~~~~~
“Mommy, I'm hungry,” I feel Abby and Lizzy jumping on the bed next to me. Then I hear Jake laughing. I sit up so fast I almost throw them off the bed.
“Whoa, easy,” he grabs their arms so they don’t fall.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I completely forgot that you were here.”
“Oh, thanks,” he kisses me quick and gets out of bed. I see Abby and Lizzy both standing on the end of the bed. “Come on girls, let’s see if we can go find something to eat and let mommy wake up a little.” He grabs them both and throws them over his shoulders. I glance at the clock. Its 8:00, I'm surprised the girls slept this late. I get up and walk down the steps to the living room and see Jake digging through the cupboards in the kitchen. I see he found the cereal and assume he is searching for bowls. I walk over and kiss both the girls on the cheeks.
“Good morning,” I say to them both. Then I walk over and stand next to Jake. “Morning,” I look up at him.
“Morning,” he leans down and kisses me again. “Sleep well?”
“I must have last thing I remember is you turning off the TV,” I grab the coffee out of the freezer and start making a pot.
“Well good. I slept well too. Felt good to hold you all night,” he flashes that smile at me. And on cue I blush. DAMMIT! Why does he still have that effect on me? He chuckles, “glad to see that I haven’t lost my touch.”
I roll my eyes at him, “I will figure out how to get it under control,” I snort at him.
“Ok,” he smiles and walks back to the table. He pours the girls both a bowl of cereal and goes to the fridge to get milk. He looks for a minute and then turns to me. “You don’t even have milk?”
Crap, I forgot to run to the store yesterday. “I was supposed to go shopping yesterday; it slipped my mind with all the attention I was getting sorry. They will eat it without.”
“Yeah, now we can watch cartoons,” Abby squeals and takes her bowl and runs for the living room.
I shake my head and turn back to my coffee. I will not have the energy to deal with the girls until I at least get my coffee started. Jake walks up behind me and puts his arms around me. “Want me to run to the store?”
“No, they are fine. I'm sure that is what they did at my mom’s all weekend one more day isn’t going to hurt them.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He seems satisfied with my answer and starts kissing my neck. It sends chills down my back and makes all the hair on my body stand straight up. “Jake, stop it,” I try to move out of his grip. He doesn’t let me go and just keeps kissing me. “If you don’t stop I'm going to have to use my training to get away from you,” I say all breathy. I feel his smile against my shoulder and he backs away. “What are you doing?” I turn and look at him.
“I couldn’t resist, I'm sorry,” he smirks at me.
“Well, you better behave with the girls around,” I try to sound stern and fail miserably.
“You’re not very good at hiding what you really want,” he walks to the fridge and grabs the orange juice out. “Speaking of what you really want, what was your attack on me last night all about?”
My jaw drops and I look at him. “What attack?”
“Oh please, you would have ripped my clothes off if I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he tries to keep a straight face but fails. I grab the paper towel that is sitting on the counter and chuck it at him.
“You’re a jerk!”
He is laughing hysterically. “I'm sorry,” he picks up the paper towel and walks back over to me. He stops laughing. “I'm sorry,” he smiles. “Trust me; I wanted it just as much as you did.”
“You put a stop to it not me,” I say. I turn back to the coffee pot and wish it would brew faster.
“Hey,” he turns me back to face him. “We agreed, and I want this to be based on how much we care about each other, not sex.”
“I thought we determined that last night too?”
“Determined what?”
“Our feelings.”
“No, I told you and you attacked me,” he smiles again. I just stand there looking at him, not sure exactly what to say.
“Mommy, Lizzy won’t share the remote,” Abby runs in the kitchen. “I want to watch Mickey and she is being mean.” I walk into the living room thankful for the interruption. I know that I will have to come to terms with my feelings for him, but right now is not the time. I haven’t even had my coffee yet. I deal with my screaming children and end up sending Lizzy to her room for a time out.
“Here, I thought you might need this,” he hands me a cup of coffee when I walk back into the kitchen.
“Thank you,” I smile and take it from him. “Look Jake, last night.”
“Jo, its fine, I didn’t actually expect you to say anything. I know this is too fast for you.” He takes a drink of his coffee. I look at him confused. How can he know what I am thinking? I actually wasn’t thinking that, but I will let him go with that. I look at the clock, only 8:45. I wish the morning would go faster so I can go to the station and get this meeting over. “So when are you leaving for the beach?” I can tell he is trying to lighten the mood.
“Hoping tomorrow morning. Depends on how today goes at work.” I look at him. I can tell that he is a little upset about my non answer to his comment last night. “Jake, why don’t you come with us?”
He looks at me a little shocked. “Really?”
“Yeah, I mean everyone already saw us on the news and every way possible by now I'm sure, so what is the difference if we are seen together at the beach?”
“You really want me to go, or are you just trying to make me feel bet
ter?”
“A little of both. You won’t let me talk to you about how I feel so I am trying to make you feel better.”
“So tell me,” he gives me a daring look.
It is way too early for me to have this kind of conversation with him. I hear the doorbell ring. Thank god! I walk to the door and see my brother standing there. “Hey,” I say when I open the door. “What brings you over?”
“Mom wanted me to bring by the clothes that the girls left at the house,” he walks in the living room and sets them on the couch. “So how’s it going?” He sits down next to the bag that he just put down.
“Um, pretty good,” I see Jake walk around the corner and smirk at me. He is daring me into telling my brother he is there. I’ll play that game! “Lucas, this is Jake,” I point to him and smile back at Jake.
“Hey,” Jake walks into the room and holds out his hand. I'm not sure whose mouth has dropped open more, Lucas’s or Jake’s.
“Jake, my little brother Lucas,” I'm feeling pretty good right about now. Score one for me, I can’t help but smile.
“Nice to meet you,” Lucas stands up and shakes his hand. “Sis I'm sorry I didn’t know you had company,” he backs toward the door.
“Its fine, he is just hanging out. I have a work meeting today and Jake is going to stay with the girls.” I smile at him, willing him not to leave yet because I know that I have just embarrassed the hell out of Mr. Super Star.
“A meeting? I thought you were on vacation?”
“Yeah, I'm supposed to be, but this crap with Ryan needed to get taken care of. I thought I told you that yesterday?”
“Yeah, I think your right, you did. Yesterday is a blur. There is a lot of information that I have had to take in the last couple days.”
I laugh, “Yeah, I feel you there,” I walk toward the kitchen. “You want a cup of coffee?”
“Sure.”
I feel Jake turn and follow me to the kitchen. “That was pretty unexpected,” he whispers in my ear.
“Was it? Well it is only polite to introduce you isn’t it?” I don’t have to look at him to know that he is smiling, and I know that I have him right where I want him. “Jake, I feel the same.” I turn and look at him. I can see right away that he cannot think of anything to say. I get up on my tip toes, kiss his cheek and take the coffee back into Lucas. What did I just do? Holy crap! Now I have to make sure that Lucas stays for a little while and let Jake stew on that information for a while. Lucas tells us about all the issues he is having with the building that he has the restaurant in. Before I know it its 11:00. I need to get the girls some lunch and get ready for my meeting.
Unexpected Love (Jo's Story) Page 13