The fury vanished and my skin grew cold.
John’s eyes widened. He looked quickly at me and then back at my mother. “No. I—”
“You put invite in mailbox when you thought no one was looking,” she stated.
I rounded on John, slipping from his grasp and crossing my arms. “You what?” As I said it, I also thought, idiot. My mother was always looking.
John’s lips pressed into a thin line as though he was reluctant to speak.
“Did you or did you not put that flyer in their letterbox?” I asked quietly.
John blew out a long breath. “Yes.”
I closed my eyes. And I’d been stupid enough to almost tell him I loved him. If he really loved me he wouldn’t have done this behind my back. He’d understand that in the realm of all things off limits, this was the clincher. When I opened my eyes again, I didn’t care they were shining with tears. “How could you?” I whispered.
“Scarlett—”
“ No!” Several groups of people nearby turned to stare at us. I lowered my voice. Fisted my hands to stop them from shaking. “I know you come from a happy family, John. I get that. I know in that Mr. Nice Guy heart of yours you’d genuinely like the same for me, but I thought you got it. I really thought you got it.”
“I do—”
“No. You. Don’t,” I ground out, then all my control dissolved. I reached up and pounded my index finger into his chest, shouting, “You don’t understand a fucking thing about me if you invited her here tonight!”
Over John’s shoulder, I saw Sandra shoot me a warning look. I nodded at her and closed my eyes again to blink away the tears. When I opened them, John was watching me with a stricken expression on his face. I didn’t care. “I’m going home,” I told them.
“No!” Cate cried, and stepped forward.
I stopped her with a stony look. “Don’t. You should know as well as anyone that you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your own actions.”
Cate’s hopeful expression collapsed into one of devastation, but beneath I could see the hint of understanding. Christa reached out and caught Cate’s elbow, drawing her back.
“Scarlett,” John began.
I shook my head and stalked off, leaving him standing with Cate, Christa, and my mother, who, to her credit, had stayed oddly silent through our argument.
I was painfully aware of the eyes of the crowd on me as I made the journey to the entrance. Eager to escape outside, I yanked open the door but felt a firm hand on my shoulder.
I rounded on John in frustration. “You don’t get to play happy families with me, alright? If that’s what you wanted you shouldn’t have divorced Elise.”
John stepped back in shock. Then he let me go.
*
The text messages came hard and fast.
It was easy to ignore them as I strolled past the foreshore at King Street Wharf, overlooking Darling Harbour. When I’d left the gallery I’d just kept walking and walking until I’d found myself here. Despite my desire to get as far away from everyone I knew I obviously didn’t want to be completely alone. I found the steady hum of conversation and occasional outburst of laughter from the restaurants and bars facing the water reassuring.
My phone vibrated in my pocket.
“For fuck’s sake,” I said under my breath.
I pulled the phone out of my pocket, planning to turn it off altogether, and made the mistake of seeing who the message was from. “Oh, seriously?”
Madeleine.
You knew it was dire when they got the Queen of Control involved. Rather than turn the phone off, I opened the message. As angry as I was, I still couldn’t stand the idea of her worrying about me when she had her own happy family to think about.
Where are you? I’m coming to get you.
I sighed and typed in a response.
No. You’re not. I’m fine.
She didn’t waste anytime replying. I had a vision of her sitting beside Ava’s incubator and furiously typing the message.
You’re not fine. You ran away from your gallery opening.
I sighed again and typed my reply.
For good reason.
I continued walking. The imposing skyline of the city cast a multicolored glow across the darkened harbor like a bigger than life watercolor.
My phone vibrated again.
Where are you?
She wasn’t going to go away, was she? I hit reply.
I’m taking a pleasant late night stroll through Darling Harbour.
Another reply came seconds later.
I’ll come and pick you up. Can you meet me at the corner of Sussex and King in 10 min?
Tears filled my eyes and I swiped them away with the back of my hand, then typed.
Don’t you have a baby to look after?
I waited for her reply.
She’s sleeping. I’m about to leave anyway.
I didn’t reply straight away. Maybe a lift home would be a good thing, even if it meant experiencing heightened levels of guilt for making Maddy go out of her way for me. Finally I sent her another message.
OK.
Chapter 30
We were quiet on the drive back to my apartment. Only when I collapsed on the two seater sofa and Maddy sat in the armchair adjacent, did she speak.
“What happened tonight, Scarlett?”
I sighed. “Surely you’ve been given the complete run-down?” I asked.
She nodded. “Your mother turned up.”
She made it sound so reasonable. I leaned back into the cushions and glared at the beams in my ceiling because Maddy didn’t deserve my wrath. “Because John invited her.”
“John didn’t invite her.”
I met her eyes. “Yes, he did.”
“All he did was drop a flyer in her letterbox.”
“All he did?”
“Yes,” Maddy said. She sounded tired and I felt a stab of guilt. “It wasn’t a personal invitation. I mean, from the little I know about your mother, she doesn’t support your art so it was unlikely to expect she would attend.”
“It was invite only. How else would she have gotten in?”
Maddy sighed. “I honestly don’t know, but it wasn’t John.”
“Why are you defending him?”
“Because he didn’t do anything wrong,” Maddy said firmly.
“He knows how I feel about my mother!” I cried. I didn’t care that she’d probably already spoken to John. None of that mattered. “Maddy, I told him everything about my childhood. All the bits I would rather forget. He should know I don’t want to have anything to do with her. Particularly when it comes to my art.”
Maddy’s brow furrowed in confusion, then smoothed as understanding filled her eyes. “Scarlett, he didn’t betray you.”
“Sure as hell feels like it,” I muttered.
The room feel silent. I studied the crooked floorboards for a long time before looking up at her again.
She was watching me patiently with a sympathetic expression. “He loves you.”
I wasn’t sure if it was a genuine appeal or simply a statement of fact.
“If that’s true, he’s got a really strange way of showing it.”
Maddy frowned thoughtfully. “When you love someone, really love someone, it means having the courage to challenge them,” she said softly.
“Charming sentiment, Maddy. What inspirational website did you take that from?”
Her breath left her in a quiet puff of air, and she not only looked tired, but defeated. It was a cheap shot and we both knew it.
“Sorry,” I said genuinely. It was John I was angry at, not her.
“I know it’s a protective mechanism, but that razor tongue of yours cuts deep. If you’re not careful you’re going to leave some wounds.”
The image of John taking a step back when I told him he should have stayed with his ex-wife filled my mind. I pushed it away and gave her an apologetic smile. “Too late.”
“So wha
t are you going to do about it?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I need some time to figure things out.”
She nodded and stood up. “Are you going to be OK?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Thanks for the lift.”
She looked at me for a moment longer then nodded again, apparently satisfied that I was home safe. She walked slowly toward the door, her shoes clicking on the wooden floor. Before she opened it, she turned around.
“Not tonight, but maybe in the morning, I suggest you take a look at this.” She pulled out a magazine from her handbag. “Page fourteen. Promise me you won’t read it while you’re angry, which means definitely not tonight.”
I frowned. What on earth was she talking about?
Maddy took my silent confusion for hesitation. “Promise?”
“Yeah. I promise,” I relented, still not entirely sure what I was agreeing to.
Maddy nodded, satisfied. “He loves you.” She put the magazine on the hall table and without looking back, shut the door behind her.
I stared at the table for a while after she was gone, debating whether to keep my promise. In the end exhaustion won out. Ignoring the magazine, I trudged up to my bedroom. Whatever it was, it could wait. I’d had enough emotional turmoil for one day.
*
Maybe it was shock over the previous night’s events, or complete and utter emotional exhaustion, but I slept like the dead. When I woke the next morning, I didn’t feel much better. Probably because upon waking I realized that last night had actually happened and it wasn’t a nightmare.
The messages from my girlfriends should have helped, but they didn’t. Cate wanted to know if I was alright, while Christa simply said to let her know if I needed anything.
Nothing from John.
Understandable, really. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I was still angry from the previous night’s events so of course I didn’t want to talk to him. Then again, while I’d been telling myself we weren’t having a relationship, I’d gotten used to the regularity of our contact. Texts, emails, phone messages. Once the romantic fool had even bought me flowers. Blood red, of course.
So I told myself we both needed the space and forced myself to get out of bed and to get ready.
I had no memory of getting to work. No memory of buying coffee either, but somehow I found myself sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen. That was pretty much how I passed the first hour and a half. Thank God I didn’t have any meetings. Or none that I remembered anyway.
“Scarlett?”
Ruby stood in my doorway, watching me with a concerned expression.
I blinked. Had she knocked? “Yeah?” Crap. Maybe I had missed a meeting. I looked over at my mouse, debating whether to use it to bring up my calendar but decided against it. That would involve effort and effort was overrated.
Ruby hesitated then stepped into my office, quickly closing the door behind her. She sat down opposite me. “How did it go last night?”
“It went well,” I managed.
Her forehead creased in confusion. “Are you alright?”
I tried not to grimace. “It was kind of a big night.” It wasn’t entirely a lie.
“Oh, of course.” She looked relieved. “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to ask if it’s true?”
“What’s true?” God, I was still so tired and I missed my bed. I could really do with a pillow right now.
“That Shout is sending you to New York next month.”
Huh. I’d almost forgotten about that. “Yeah. Tony and I discussed it yesterday. How did you find out?”
“Tony said something to Garry this morning. I couldn’t hear the conversation but Garry looked like he wanted to explode by the end of it.”
“Not following.”
“Garry’s been angling for the New York trip for months. He was furious enough to vent about it to me and a few others afterward.”
“Really?” The fog in my head cleared a little bit. “I didn’t realize there was a trip in the works.”
“Oh yeah. I’m surprised you hadn’t heard about it, but then again Garry and you aren’t exactly best friends.”
“No, we’re not.” My brain was slowly catching up. This was even better than I could have planned. Through some strange alignment of the stars, I’d managed to piss Garry off and keep my job. I grinned. “That’s awesome. You’ve made my morning.”
“Thought you might like to know. Although I don’t know how anything could possibly top your art show last night.”
I smiled weakly. “Well, it’s up there, I promise you.”
“I’m so relieved you’re keeping your job.”
“I told you not to feel guilty. Going to New York was my decision.”
Ruby stood up, nodding as she did so. “I know. It was nice of your boyfriend to let me help though.”
I stared at her.
Her pale face turned bright red. “Oh. I’ve put my foot in my mouth again, haven’t I?” She looked like she wanted to run from the room.
“I don’t know,” I said slowly. “Have you?”
“Your boyfriend didn’t say anything?” she asked, far too hopefully.
“Nothing.” And as things currently stood, I wasn’t sure if the word boyfriend was the correct term anymore.
Her face fell and I felt sorry for her.
“Forget about it, Ruby.” I was still too angry at John to be angry at another person.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. He must have wanted it to be a surprise.” Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth rounded in horror. “Or maybe it was supposed to be a secret. Oh my God, me and my big mouth.”
Her big mouth wasn’t as big as she thought, because I still couldn’t figure out exactly what she was talking about. “What did you do?”
Ruby shook her head fiercely. “I really shouldn’t say.”
“I bet John won’t mind. Seeing as everything has worked out so well.”
She bit her lip so hard I thought she might draw blood. “I’m not sure.”
“Did he say anything about it being a secret?”
“Well, no. But then why hasn’t he told you himself?”
“Last night was kind of busy,” I hedged. I’d been busy running away from him, but she didn’t know that. “I barely had the chance to tell him about my conversation with Tony.”
“That does make sense.”
“John does stuff like this all the time,” I went on, forcing myself to sound brighter than I felt. “He loves helping people out. I joke about how he’s such a Mr. Nice Guy and he says it balances out my grumpiness. Maybe I can surprise him by saying thank you. That will totally blow him away.” It all sounded so believable, but I hated myself for it. Lately I was finding I felt that way about myself a lot.
Ruby grinned, buying my story. “That’s a great idea! He sounds so sweet, it would be great to surprise him. Basically he rang up and told me to buy the latest issue of Big Ideas and show Tony page fourteen.”
The magazine she was talking about was an advertising industry publication. I straightened in my seat. The magazine. Shit. I’d totally forgotten about the one Maddy had left last night. Ruby had to be referring to the same thing.
“I haven’t seen it,” I told her honestly.
“The article is about your artwork and your role in advertising. Tony’s still got the copy I gave him. So you could sneak into his office and look for it.” Her lips twisted in distaste. “Or maybe just go and buy a copy.”
“Yeah, I will, thanks.” Paying money was preferable to risking being caught in Tony’s office. Or worse still, being invited to sit on the world’s most uncomfortable sofa for a “chat.”
“Great!” Ruby said quickly, not doing a very good job of masking her relief. “I better get back to work.”
I waited for her to leave and then drummed my fingers on the top of my desk. Reading the magazine could wait. Again. I could go and buy one now but it was probably better I read it in
the privacy of my own home. It all sounded innocent enough. But how had John known about the article? And what was so persuasive about it that had made Tony do a complete turnaround in regards to my art? Then there was the minor issue of John going behind my back by talking to a co-worker and then telling her to go to my boss with it. I never knew nice guys were so interfering. Or scheming. If I wasn’t so annoyed with him, I’d give him points for courage.
Innocent or not, I hadn’t even read the article and I was getting worked up again. I’d wait until I got home to potentially reignite my anger, I decided.
My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts.
“You can’t be serious.” It was my mother.
I glared at the phone and rejected the call. There was no way she’d be ringing to compliment me on the art exhibition. The more likely scenario was that she thought John was perfect boyfriend material. He might be half-caste, but he was still Asian.
I groaned and decided it was time to actually do some work. It was a much better alternative to dealing with my personal life.
Chapter 31
When I arrived home I threw my keys on the hall table, dumped my bag and marched to the kitchen. Straight past the magazine. I wasn’t ready to deal with whatever it was yet, but food would help. I eyed the half empty bottle of red wine sitting on the counter top. Definitely not.
I made myself a quick dinner using leftovers from the refrigerator and sat down to eat it at the dining table. It was dark outside and I could see my reflection in the window overlooking the warehouse next door. Surrounded by the bright lights of my apartment, my shadowy silhouette in the window stood out. If I was a piece of art, it would be titled “Lone woman in city apartment.” I shoveled another mouthful of food into my mouth, not wanting to think about how the lone aspect of that concept bothered me.
I picked up my phone as I ate. I’d done a good job of ignoring calls and messages during the day. It was time to be a big girl and go through them.
Huh. My mother had called five more times. While that wasn’t exactly a surprise – when she made her mind up about something she could be even more stubborn than me – what was strange was that she hadn’t left any messages.
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