This photograph of the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Forty-second Street in New York City was taken five years after Daisy left the Charbs, but the scene looks much the same as it did when she and her friends were at school. Library of Congress
Between terms and in the summers, Daisy returned to Savannah. Rutherford B. Hayes was the president of the United States at the time, and during his presidency the federal troops that had been deployed to the South following the Civil War were removed. Reconstruction was officially over. Now it was up to leaders such as Daisy's father to continue rebuilding the South.
Finished with her education at the Charbs, Daisy's big sister, Nell, was enjoying social life in Savannah. Daisy too would soon complete her formal education and move back to Savannah. Mamma and Papa hoped that their four daughters would marry and start raising families. In Daisy's time, parents expected their daughters to live at home until the right man came along. Moving into an apartment, getting a job, or attending college was practically unheard of. Instead, Mamma and Papa would give them an allowance for clothes, travel, and other expenses. Their sons would go to college and then return to Savannah to work with Papa or to establish their own businesses.
Whenever she was home, Daisy joined Papa for a horseback ride first thing in the morning. Sometimes a dog—often a beagle called Bow-Wow—followed them. Afterward, they turned the horses over to a groomsman at the stable and went inside for breakfast. The cook and her staff prepared the meals in the kitchen, located on the basement level of the house, and sent the food upstairs to the dining room in a dumbwaiter, a small hand-operated elevator. Under Mamma's watchful eye, servants took care of everything in the Gordon household. They also tended the flower-filled gardens and the stable.
When Daisy turned eighteen, she was at the Mesdemoiselles Charbonnier's. She wrote to her father, "Can you realize that just eighteen years ago I was a little red-faced baby?" She reminded Papa that he also said she looked "just precisely like her Ma!"
Daisy's parents agreed that she was finally settling down and growing up. It was time to let her attend parties when she was home. Nell's job was to watch over her sister at these events. The Gordon house was perfect for entertaining. With the furniture pushed to the walls and the mahogany pocket doors between the two adjoining parlors open, the large space made a perfect dance floor. Sometimes Mamma played the piano or hired musicians.
The dancing lessons and manners Daisy learned at the Charbs had often seemed silly, but now she was finally able to put that training to use. Daisy rose gracefully from her chair in the drawing room to meet one dance partner after another and swirl about in an elegant ball gown. It didn't take her long to discover that she would rather dance with a handsome man than with a female classmate.
This lovely portrait of Daisy was taken the year she turned eighteen. Girl Scouts of the USA-JGLB
There had been a time in Daisy's earlier teen years when she had felt rather plain, but now she was a beauty with soft brown curls framing her face. And she was always busy! There was so much to do between school terms. Daisy enjoyed buggy rides, picnics, and boating events with the well-to-do young men and women of Savannah. She was also an excellent horsewoman, and she played tennis. And Daisy loved parties.
Amateur plays, musical presentations, and masquerade balls were popular in the late 1870s. Daisy fit right in. Often cast in the starring roles, she paid close attention to her costumes, just as she did during her childhood days at Etowah Cliffs. Her brother Arthur wryly noted that Daisy "was not only very entertaining and amusing when she desired to be, but she was frequently killingly funny, when she had no intention of being funny at all."
Nell did her best to advise her sister on the rules of etiquette between young single men and women. It didn't always work. When she received her first marriage proposal, Daisy was too naive to know it was even coming. Yet everyone else in her circle of friends seemed to understand that if a single gentleman asked a young woman to walk with him through a cemetery on a Sunday, it meant that he intended to ask her to marry him.
Daisy and her admirer sat on a stone bench in Savannah's Laurel Grove Cemetery. The man told her that he loved her, and he mentioned marriage. Shocked, Daisy jumped to her feet. "How can you so desecrate the dead!" she reportedly said, abruptly ending that relationship.
After a full summer of social events, Daisy returned to the Charbs in 1880 to continue her advanced oil painting lessons. Seventeen-year-old Alice joined her, even though Alice had begged her mother to let her stay at Edgehill in Virginia. It was important to Mamma that all her daughters experience a cosmopolitan city, and become fluent in the French language, as she was.
In early December, Alice came down with a high temperature and a sore throat, followed by a red rash. It was scarlet fever. Daisy didn't believe she'd been exposed to the highly contagious illness. But to be safe, she had to stay away. There were no antibiotics available in 1880 to fight a bacterial infection.
Daisy fretted for days that her sister was sick and alone, without any family members to comfort her. Mrs. Gordon came as quickly as possible to Alice's bedside, but the train trip to New York took nearly three days. At first, Alice seemed to improve. The rash went away, but she was still extremely sick. Then on December 30, 1880, Alice died, with Mamma at her side.
Alice, seen here, and Daisy shared a room at the Charbs. It was Daisy's responsibility to watch over her homesick little sister. Girl Scouts of the USA-JGLB
Alice was buried in Laurel Grove Cemetery at the edge of Savannah, on a cold, wintry day. Afterward, Daisy stayed home with the family. Mamma blamed herself for forcing Alice to attend school in New York, and she descended into a deep depression. Daisy and Nell mourned too, and they missed the much-needed support of their usually strong and vivacious mother. Like everyone else in the family, they wore black, and as was the custom then, they couldn't attend any social events for a year and a day following Alice's death.
No one—Daisy, her father, or the other children—could break through the thick wall of sadness that surrounded Nellie Gordon. Daisy and Nell spoke in hushed voices around the house for months and months. Sometimes, a single event or memory would stir up emotions, and they cried in one another's arms.
Nine months after Alice's death, Daisy's mother was still inconsolable. Mr. Gordon realized that his daughters were suffering too much. But they did not return to school. Instead, Papa sent them north to New York and New Jersey to stay with aunts, uncles, cousins, and school friends, knowing they would be well chaperoned and taken care of.
It was just what Daisy needed.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Love and Marriage
FROM NEW YORK, Daisy wrote to Grandmother Gordon about the fun of staying up all night, giggling and chatting with her friends and cousins. There were small dinner parties and shopping trips, all appropriately chaperoned by her aunts, uncles, or older cousins. To her grieving mother she wrote, "You probably have not thought my grief profound because I throw it off.... It is when I am by myself that I feel it the most.... There is more than one kind of sorrow."
Daisy began a pattern of restlessness, of being on the go. In the years ahead, she would frequently travel to New York or New Jersey. There was so much to experience in the New York City area, like the circus, a baseball game, or a clambake at the beach. She even tried and liked canoeing, which was popular with women at that time. Spurred on by Daisy's unique zest for life, her friends and cousins would join her to shop in the city, study the latest fashions, and buy tickets to plays.
Daisy met many unmarried and handsome men in New York as well as in Savannah. Some of her friends, especially those who were Nell's age, were becoming engaged or even getting married.
In 1882, Papa decided that Daisy was ready to tour Europe. Taking an extended trip like this was common for wealthy young women as their formal education came to an end. As she was shopping in New York for the trip and preparing to set sail, Daisy received a telegram from Papa saying t
hat her Grandmother Gordon had died. Daisy was saddened by the loss, but she was even more concerned that her parents, who were still mourning Alice, had to endure yet more grief.
That summer, she went to Europe as planned. She looked forward to exploring historic sites, seeing famous paintings she had studied, and meeting new people along the way.
While in England, Daisy called on her father's colleague Andrew Low, a wealthy cotton merchant who lived in Liverpool and had business interests in Savannah. In fact, Mr. Low had once lived there and still owned a home near the Gordons'. Daisy had a great time exploring the Liverpool area with two of his daughters, Jessie and Mary, and mentioned in a letter home, "I am so glad you and Papa are not like other parents I could mention, 'Andrew' [Low] among them." To Daisy, he seemed old, cranky, and in poor health. Andrew Low's only son, William Mackay Low, was a tall, straight-standing man with thick, curly blond hair and deep blue eyes, handsome enough to be compared to a Greek god by many admiring young women. But Daisy did not mention him in her letters.
However, in the fall, after Daisy had returned from Europe, Willy Low arrived in the United States. He brought her a fox terrier, which was supposedly a gift from Jessie and Mary. Daisy wrote her mother, who was in New York, "He is a dear little dog and I hope you will let me keep him. Willy called the other night and dined here."
William Mackay Low was a good-looking man who apparently captured many women's hearts long before he met Daisy. Girl Scouts of the USA-JGLB
Then Daisy joined her mother in Saratoga Springs, a community about two hundred miles north of New York City famous for its many natural mineral springs. Visitors flocked there to soak in the waters, and many believed in their healing powers. It had been nearly two years since Alice's death, and Mrs. Gordon was still devastated. But while in Saratoga Springs, Daisy saw a hint of change in her mother. She wrote her father, telling him, "The waters do her good, she has a splendid appetite.... [But] what pleases me most is that Mam[m]a is so cheery and bright. Don't congratulate her on her improvement, else she will draw into her shell again."
In January 1884, Nell married Wayne Parker, a distant relative, after complaining to Daisy for years that she would surely become an old maid. The ceremony was in Savannah's Christ Church and was followed by a reception at the Gordons' house, which had been spruced up with new carpets and curtains. The wedding celebration seemed to finally lift the family's spirits.
That spring, Daisy decided to return to Europe. She and her father must have talked about Willy Low, because she assured her father that it wasn't likely she would even see him: "[Willy] does not even know that I am coming to Europe, for I have not written to inform him [and] even if I do visit his sisters ... he is never at home."
Willy Low, as the only male heir to his father's fortune, would someday inherit millions of dollars. To Mr. Gordon, he seemed quite spoiled. Maybe it was because his sisters had raised him after his mother's death when he was a young boy. Papa certainly didn't approve of Willy's flamboyant lifestyle. He was part of the most elite British social circles, followed horseracing, enjoyed hunting, and partied steadily with his friends, such as Albert Edward, the Prince of Wales, who would someday become the king of England. Papa wanted Daisy to marry well, but he strongly believed that all his daughters should seek husbands who supported themselves and their families with hard work. Willy did not work or have any career aspirations.
Daisy had intended to spend time traveling, but instead she stayed with the Lows for much of the summer. "I don't feel in the least afraid of wearing out my welcome because they have made me so much at home that I am like one of themselves," she wrote. Willy Low was definitely around that summer, according to her later correspondence. But Daisy never mentioned him in her letters home at the time.
She did write about visiting many sites, such as Windsor Castle, an enormous medieval structure belonging to the royal family, which she had studied in her English history classes. While exploring Scotland, she reread The Lady of the Lake, a book-length narrative poem by Sir Walter Scott set in that country. After the publication of the poem in 1810, Scott's popularity spread beyond Great Britain to the United States, and Daisy had read his poetry in school.
While she was away, Willie Gordon was elected to the Georgia legislature, and she wrote Papa to congratulate him. She also thanked him for the European trip and added, "And now you will probably keep me in this country for the rest of my life and I shall be quite satisfied."
But Daisy was being untruthful. She had fallen in love, yet she knew in her heart that Papa would not approve of William Mackay Low. She did not want to disobey her father. The logical solution, or so it seemed to Daisy, was to never mention Willy in her letters home.
Daisy's diary entries from this time are missing. But her younger sister, Mabel, believed that Daisy and Willy became secretly engaged in 1884, when they were together in England.
It was an awkward period for Daisy's parents as they watched their daughter spurn every other eligible bachelor—and there were many. They worried that Willy Low might break their daughter's heart. There were rumors of other young women he had attracted who had been tossed aside. Yet Willy was the son of a treasured friend and close business associate. They could not turn him away.
In January 1885, Daisy was back in Savannah. Mamma traveled north to Hutton Park, New Jersey, to be with Nell, who was expecting her first baby. When Daisy began to suffer from an earache, she went to a new doctor. As she would later write, "I had [had] a series of ear infections and was losing patience with 'traditional' medicine. I had heard that silver nitrate was the 'newest' treatment." Daisy insisted that the doctor inject her with silver nitrate, which was just beginning to be used as an antiseptic. The doctor refused, but Daisy badgered him until he gave in, injecting it through her nose.
By the time Daisy reached home, the pain was excruciating. Papa reached their regular doctor, who came immediately and administered pain-numbing medication. When Willy Low, who was staying in his father's Savannah home, called on her, Papa would not let him visit her.
Papa wrote Mamma that their daughter's ear was bleeding, possibly from an abscess. He also believed that the silver nitrate, later found to be highly corrosive to cartilage and membranes if given in too high a dosage, was aggravating the situation. Still waiting for Nell's overdue baby to arrive, Mamma wrote back to say that Daisy was pigheaded for seeking such treatment, and then admitted that she was "so nervous to being distracted" because she couldn't help both daughters at the same time.
When Daisy traveled to Europe, she brought several trunks of clothing and was prepared for every occasion. Girl Scouts of the USA-JGLB
Over the next few days, as the ear discharged more fluid, Daisy's pain subsided considerably. Finally, Papa allowed Willy Low to see her. Nell's baby was born, a twelve-pound girl the proud parents named Alice. And as soon as she could, Mamma hurried home to be with Daisy.
It took months for the pain to go away completely, and Daisy's hearing in that ear was permanently impaired. It was not clear whether it was the original ear infection, the injection, or a combination of both that caused her loss of hearing. But all that time, Willy stayed by Daisy's side, proving to her parents that he loved her.
Willy Low wrote Daisy's father at the end of the year, saying, "My dear Capt. Gordon, ... Your daughter Daisy and I love one another dearly." Then Willy asked his own father for a bigger yearly allowance, saying he wished to marry her.
By April 1886, Daisy had told her twenty-year-old brother Bill that her future father-in-law had made a generous financial offer to Willy, and he had also promised to fix up the Low home in Savannah for them. Daisy assured Bill, "I am to live in Savannah, so don't fancy we are to be all our lives separated. In summer Willy may want to see his people but our home will be here and even if we go to England it will only be for visits."
In that letter, Daisy mentioned that she and Willy had been in love for years and "as good as engaged" for two years. And now
, a radiant Daisy was officially engaged. She picked December 21 for her wedding to Billow, her nickname for her fiancé. She considered the date good luck, since it was also her parents' wedding anniversary.
Although they clearly had some concerns about the upcoming marriage, the Gordons kept their feelings to themselves. Mamma hadn't done much to the house since Alice's death, except to replace old curtains and carpeting and have the interior painted. So she hired a New York architect to create a new look. Starting in early 1886, workers began to construct a third story and a porch on the garden side.
This photo of Mabel, Nell, and Daisy was taken in September 1886. The inscription highlights some of the defining traits of the Gordon family—faith, hope, and charity. Girl Scouts of the USA-JGLB
That summer, Billow's father died. Now Billow didn't need to ask for an allowance for himself or his bride-to-be. Unexpectedly inheriting such a fortune may have gone to his head. A few weeks after his father's death, the New York World and other newspapers in New York City reported that he had gambled heavily on a polo match. Mr. Gordon could not keep quiet. He wrote Daisy on September 3, 1886, "I am glad Willy was ashamed and indignant at getting in the [news]papers but I think it was his own fault and betting thousands of dollars ... is neither reputable nor is it calculated to give me confidence to his future."
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