by Gill, Tamara
“You didn’t tell me your name, Lord Leighton?” she said, grinning.
“You can call me Hamish.” He stepped back and watched as the carriage pulled away and made its way around Berkley Square. Kat…His gut clenched at what such a name brought forth in his imagination and he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be like a wildcat, untamed and feral or sweet and affectionate. Or perhaps she was both, and that thought brought a flush to his own body.
He shouldn’t want her like he did, but there was something infinitely different about her. Perhaps it was the fierce independence and self-assurance that attracted him so. When in his Society he had seen moments of her where she’d looked fearful, but walking within the ton’s viper nest that was to be expected. Hamish turned and started back toward the house, his man of business had asked him to go through some letters he’d left in his library, and deal with the business of two of his country estates. Normally he would shirk most of this work off to his steward, but not today. Katherine’s unwavering dedication to her employment made his own lacklustre approach shameful. He ought to do better for his tenants and those who worked for him.
He ought to spend less time socializing and more time looking after the things that actually mattered. Since seeing Katherine again, he had to admit that his bad luck had waned, in fact, had disappeared.
Miss Martin, was out making a difference in the world and so too would he. A self-deprecating laugh escaped. She was already a good influence on him and his pampered ways.
Chapter 6
The duchess hosted an afternoon tea party for some of the upper echelons of the ton two days after Katherine’s run in with Lord Leighton, and unfortunately, or fortunately depending on Katherine’s disposition on any given day, she was invited.
The never-ending tittle-tattle of gossip, of gowns and who was recently returned to town and those that had scuttled back to their country estates was all that she’d heard, nodded to and gasped at the past two hours. If she did not escape soon she’d simply expire of boredom.
Excusing herself from three recently married women who were fixated on finding the proper children’s nurse for their impending children, Katherine moved away and started toward Cecilia who looked as bored as she did.
Upon joining Cecilia, the lady Cecilia was talking to made her excuses and moved away, thankfully leaving them alone. “Save me, or I shall tell you everything I know about nannies, for I have just had a very lengthy and involved discussion on the topic.”
Cecilia chuckled, handing her a plate with a sugar biscuit on it. “Eat one of these, it’ll make you feel better.”
Katherine took a bite, and almost choked when Lord Leighton’s mother entered the room with her young charge whom she was sponsoring this year. The woman looked almost friendly when she greeted the duchess and looking about the room she nodded and waved to women she knew, but her ladyship’s ease and enjoyment slipped somewhat when she spotted Katherine.
Instead of simply moving her gaze along and joining in with her friends’ conversations, she came over to them instead, her visage one of displeasure and ire.
“Lady Aaron, so lovely to see you again and I must thank you for housing my son for the next few weeks after the dreadful fire. You’re the best of people to open your home so.”
Cecilia dropped a curtsy and Katherine quickly followed, having forgotten to show her respect to the matriarch of Society. “Lord Leighton is always welcome, as well you know. It is a pleasure to have him as a guest.” Cecilia turned to Katherine.
“Lady Leighton, may I present my friend, Miss Katherine Martin. She is a good friend of mine and the duchess of Athelby and is a founding member of the London Relief Society that I run.”
Katherine bobbed a quick curtsy again, and then remembered she’d already done so. Heat spread across her cheeks and she took a calming breath. What did it matter if her ladyship was glaring at her, her displeasure obvious to any who looked their way. The woman was nothing to her, only the mother of the man whose face kept her up at night. Awake with a longing she didn’t understand, but desperately wanted to know.
“Lady Leighton and I have already met, although it was very brief.”
The woman’s eyes narrowed, but she feigned surprise. “Oh, of course, at my son’s home. You are the builder’s daughter are you not?” She smiled to temper her barb. “How is the family business going my dear? From seeing your harried appearance, the other day, I can only assume that you have little time for frivolities like outings such as these. You looked quite tired if I must say so myself. Perhaps in future you will consider your health and whether attending such events as these would be in your best interests.”
Katherine swallowed the heated retort that formed on her tongue, and instead bit into her little cake, all but halting any thoughts of replying.
Not that she had to worry about such things, as Cecilia wound her arm within hers and lifted her chin. “Did you know, Lady Leighton that Katherine and I grew up together, in Cheapside. We were neighbors from a very early age. As you’re aware, my father is a barrister.”
Lady Leighton’s appearance did not change, but the warmth in her eyes for Cecilia diminished a little. “I did not know that, Lady Aaron. How interesting.”
“Isn’t it,” Cecilia said, smiling quickly at Katherine. “But enough about us, tell us about the young woman you’ve brought today. She seems very sweet.”
To her credit, Lady Leighton took the opportunity to change the subject away from Cecilia and Katherine’s upbringing in trade. “She is my niece, Lizzie Doherty. I’m sponsoring her this season and hoping to have her married and settled by next season. Our family is in need of an uplifting event, such as a wedding.”
“Are there any suitors that have made their intention known, your ladyship,” Katherine asked, simply not to be standing beside them like a mute.
“There have been a couple, but she’s refused their offers. I do believe she holds fond feelings for my son, Hamish, and what a good match they would make, but alas, he does not seem to return her feelings and so she’s quite downcast.”
“But they are cousins. Is marriage between them even desired?” Katherine blurted before she thought better of it.
Her ladyship’s eyes widened, and her mouth worked but no words came out for a few moments. Katherine inwardly cursed for asking, for her ladyship did not appreciate her question.
“Let me assure you, Miss Martin, cousins have married and are allowed to marry, so your question that reeked of disgust can be kept to yourself, if you don’t mind. Hamish would be lucky to marry such a lady, for that is what Miss Lizzie Doherty is, unlike some of those who walk among us.”
Cecilia gasped, and Katherine studied her ladyship a moment, what she found there was very lacking indeed. She was born to privilege, was a Countess, but she was unkind and that’s all she had to be for Katherine to take her measure. “Do you mean me, your ladyship?”
The woman glanced at her with disdain. “How dare you ask me such a thing? I would never be so rude.”
“I beg to differ,” Katherine said, placing down her now empty plate on a small table beside them. She turned toward her friend. “I must go, Cecilia darling, but we’re still on for De Vere’s ball Friday?”
“You needn’t leave, Katherine. Come ladies, let us not quarrel.”
Katherine threw one more scathing glance at Lady Leighton and walked from the room. Conversation swam about her, and thankfully those in attendance hadn’t seemed to notice that she’d disagreed with the countess. But what a disagreeable woman she was. So high and mighty and thinking she was not worthy of having friends in this sphere of Society.
And perhaps she was not, she was a builder’s daughter after all, but by happenstance and simple luck she’d become friends with a duchess and her best friend had married a marquess and so like it or not, she now had a foot in both levels of Society.
A waiting footman handed her cloak and called a hackney cab for her. Katherine sighed, laying
her head back against the squabs. Lady Leighton was an unpleasant harridan. But why did she dislike her so much? It is not as if she knew her, would’ve heard any rumors as there weren’t any. Katherine wasn’t a woman who courted scandal, and if she removed the one time she’d asked Lord Leighton to sleep with her, she’d done nothing at all.
She thought back to when she’d met her ladyship at the building site. Was there something she saw in Lord Leighton’s eyes that had worried her. Had she sensed her son was attracted to Katherine, and attraction that all but hummed between them whenever they were near?
Katherine certainly did, and that very allure had been the reason she’d asked him to lie with her. Even if he was adamant he wouldn’t grant her wish, it could not stop her from dreaming about being with him so. She’d seen often enough the glances and small affection touches Darcy and Cecilia made and received in turn. Over the time she’d been friends with them, seeing them married and happy left an ache in her chest. If she could not find a gentleman to marry, not to say she hadn’t tried, for she had, for years, she at least wanted to know the touch of a man, to know if she were missing out and ought to look again.
The carriage rolled to a stop before her home and thanking the footman who raced down the house’s stairs to open the carriage door, she went inside, only to come to a halt in the hall at the sight of Jane, standing before Lord Leighton, a blushing, gushing mess.
“Dearest Katherine, look who has paid us a call. You know Lord Leighton of course.”
Katherine had just about had enough of spiteful women and seeing Jane all flustered and preening over Lord Leighton in her home left her teeth to ache. Katherine ripped off her gloves and unpinned her hat, handing them to a waiting footman before turning to face them both.
“Good afternoon, my lord. Can I help you with anything?”
Jane chuckled. “You must forgive my cousin, my lord. It seems her social niceties were lost along with her youth.” The brazen little hussy reached up and plucked an invisible piece of lint from his lordship’s jacket, and Lord Leighton stepped away, uncertainty clouding his eyes.
“On the contrary, Miss Digby. I have never known Miss Martin to be other than a pillar of manners and kindness. Something that you may wish to aspire to.”
Jane paled at being chastised and Katherine fought not to crow at his kindness toward her.
“I was hoping to have a private word with you, Miss Martin. If you’re free,” he asked, catching her gaze.
“I suppose you shall not need a chaperone since you’re well past that necessity,” Jane said, clearly out to make her point now that Lord Leighton had told her off. “Although, you really ought to start wearing a cap, dearest cousin, it would cause less scandal if you’re to attend gentleman callers in private.”
“Thank you, Jane, you may go,” she said, her words blunt and to the point. Katherine moved past her with little regard, having had enough of people judging her simply because she didn’t fit into their mould of what they expected women to be.
Lord Leighton followed her into the library and she gestured him to take a seat before the fire that was alight, ready for her father when he would return home later in the day. Katherine sat beside him and tried to shake off her annoyance and damn it, the hurt her cousin caused by her words.
“How can I help you, Lord Leighton?” she asked, settling her skirts about her legs.
He was quiet for a moment, fiddled with his cravat before he seemed to gather himself. “I wanted to discuss what you asked of me.”
Katherine inwardly groaned, not wanting nor in the mood to discuss such matters. Not today at least. After her run in with his mother at the duchess of Athelby’s afternoon tea and now her cousin, her disposition to remain nice after hearing why he couldn’t sleep with her waned.
“There is no need to explain anything, my lord. I understand perfectly well.”
“Do you?” he asked, watching her intensely.
What did he see when he looked at her, beauty, desperation, she was certainly the latter, but the former she’d never claimed to be. Passable was what she heard one gentleman state, rich but not biddable another, too much work if one was willing to take her on.
“You’ve already explained your reasons, my lord. You do not need to do so again.” She went to stand, and he clasped her hand, pulling her back down.
“I wasn’t entirely truthful when we spoke last. I used the excuse of rank, of our mutual friends and their reactions should our interlude become known, especially when I’d promised never to darken your bedroom’s door. I used your potential fall from grace, the ruination of your reputation should you get with child.”
Her heart squeezed at the recitation. Katherine pulled her hand away, folding them into her lap. “I think they are worthy enough excuses, you do not need to come up with any more.”
“I do, because I fear you think it’s because I do not desire you.”
Heat rose on Katherines cheeks and she bit her lip, unsure as to what to say to such honesty. “Then what is it?” she asked, unable to stop herself.
“I know you have not asked for anything but one night in my bed, but I wonder if you’ve thought of the consequences of such actions. I do not hide from the fact that I have had lovers, many of them but they are seasoned lovers, players of this game and they know how to play the game without consequences. If you understand what I’m saying.”
She understood perfectly well. “You mean children, and that our one night may result in me carrying your child. Something you do not wish for any more than I, my lord.” Not that the idea of having Lord Leighton’s child didn’t make her weak at the knees. Whoever persuaded him into marriage, into love would be very well pleased. Under his charm and beauty, he was kind, not vicious. Was there not a saying that rakes made the best husbands…
“I’ve seen you around the duchess and marchioness. I’ve seen your wistful looks at their happiness. If we were to be together, I fear you’ll want more of me than I’m willing to commit. And that is no reflection on you,” he said, reaching out to clasp her hand. “It’s me. I do not wish for marriage, not now at least and perhaps never.”
His thumb glided over the top of her hand and Katherine realized he still had hold of her. “Do not think for one moment Katherine that I do not desire you. From the very first moment we met I’ve had a peculiar craving to kiss you. To speak plainly, the hunger you rouse in me isn’t something I’m familiar with and I do not trust myself with you. And that, can lead to folly and consequences,” he declared his voice thick with emotion.
She met his gaze and a shiver stole over her. “I’m not asking for marriage or children. Nor will I hide from life. I refuse to do so any longer. I wish to experience everything I can before I die, and while I understand your fears, it does not mean I cannot seek out what I want to know. What I want to feel.”
* * *
Hamish stared at Katherine as her declaration brought a flush to her cheeks and a sparkle in her dark brown eyes. Were his fears unreasonable? Perhaps, but it did not change the fact that women died during childbirth, thin, delicate women like Miss Martin. Never before in his life had he been asked for a night of sin with a woman of respectable standing. His liaisons had always been over before they started, he’d never tried to deepen connections, grow to care for the women he bedded. It was not what he wanted.
“My coming here was to explain my reasons behind denying you. I did not want you imagining anything other than what I’ve stated here this evening.”
“Thank you for being so honest with me and because you have, I shall be in return.”
“Really,” he said, curious. “Do tell me.”
Katherine chuckled, pulling him back toward the chaise lounge to sit. “I had believed you turned me down because I’m not what you find attractive. I’ve seen you at balls and parties too, the curvy, bountiful women with blonde golden locks that you seek out.” She gestured toward herself. “I’m obviously none of those things. So, in an odd w
ay, it’s a relief to know your reasons.”
* * *
His gaze slid over her form, from her face down to her toes, and heat spiralled in her stomach. She bit her lip, wanting him with a desperation that she’d never felt before. It was the oddest thing, and yet she could not help herself. Was it because he’d denied her that she wanted him so, or simply because he was the only man who’d ever brought the feelings that were rioting inside of her to life.
“But now you know the reasons behind my choice, do not think it’s because I do not find you attractive. Why even now all I can think about is what you want from me. What I’d love to do to you.”
Katherine gasped, unable to help it. What he’d love to do to her? What did that even mean? Her heart thumped hard in her chest and her light muslin gown felt tight about the breasts. What was he doing to her? Raw hunger crossed his features and she shivered.
“Damn it,” he growled, moving quickly and taking her lips in a searing kiss, his hands against her jaw tipped up her chin so he could deepen the embrace.
The world spiralled out of control and one word went around and around in her head. Yes…
So, this is what made her friends all dreamy eyed when talking of their husbands… Hamish moaned when she mimicked what he was doing with his tongue and a beautiful ache thrummed between her legs. She squirmed, needing to be closer to him. He pulled her hard against his chest, the thump of her heart loud in her ears.
Katherine kissed him back with eagerness, willingness to know more, to experience this side of life. She’d never been kissed before and being kissed now by a veritable rogue of the ton, a man who was famous for his beautiful women and quick liaisons made her even more desperate to do as much as he’d allow.