A Portion of Dragon and Chips

by Simon Haynes

Clunk decided he would only show this man as much as necessary, but he had no intention of telling Lord Chylde that. "How will I get to this city?"

  "I have organised a cart and a guard detail for your journey. You must avoid attention where possible. The people of this land can be superstitious, and we do not want your travels to end with a public lynching."

  Clunk looked down at himself. He'd be safe enough after dark, but his battered bronze skin would shine like the sun in daylight. "Is the cart a covered wagon?"

  "I see what you mean." Lord Chylde thought for a moment. "You will take this hooded robe to conceal your appearance, and I also have gloves to conceal your hands. You can travel as a holy man on a pilgrimage." Chylde shrugged off his cloak, and threw it on the bed, then laid a pair of gloves on top. "Now, I must take my leave. I will send someone to collect you after midnight."

  With that, he left, and Clunk heard the door bolt shoot home as he was locked in again. After Chylde's footsteps faded, Millie sat up, her face red from lack of air. "Tell me, Clunk. Does he always lie so?"

  "What do you mean?" asked Clunk.

  "I overheard the guards discussing you earlier. They are taking you to Last Hope to be … disassembled? I think that was the word they used."

  Clunk frowned. There had been something odd in Chylde's manner, as though he were hiding something. Was this really Chylde's plan? To whisk Clunk away to a remote location and take him apart one piece at a time? "I am more useful to them in one piece," he said softly.

  "Perhaps, but you'll be far less dangerous in many pieces." Millie looked up at him. "They are scared of you. They believe you to be a magical being."

  "The queen promised me a forge, and now it seems she was lying also."

  "They're Mollisters," said Millie scornfully. "You can't trust any of them."

  "Then I am lost," said Clunk simply. "I don't even have a map of this place, and without a forge—"

  "What is this forge you speak of?"

  "It is a type of oven used to heat metals. Blacksmiths use them."

  Millie thought for a moment. "My village has a blacksmith. If we were to escape, perhaps he would serve your needs?"

  "I doubt it. The kind of forge I need would be much bigger than a village blacksmith would use."

  "There is something else … but no. I do not want to waste your time."

  Clunk shrugged, making the chains rattle. "I'm in no hurry."

  "There were rumours of a magician who lived deep in the forest, north of my village. He was said to be schooled in the dark arts of metals and such."

  "Really? What does he do with the metals?"

  "I, er, don't know."

  "Does he forge alloys?" Clunk asked her. "Does he design machines?"

  "Oh yes, all of that and more. He's supposed to be an expert in such things."

  "Really?" said Clunk sharply, his hopes rising. This inventor might be the answer to his prayers, and the man might have access to the resources he needed. "We should travel to the Bark kingdom and pay him a visit as soon as possible."

  "Alas, we can't," said Millie sadly. "It is all for naught, since they will take you away at midnight, and I am destined for the brothels … or the noose."

  "No, you will have your freedom when I leave."

  "That's kind of you, sir, but I will not be released."

  "Who said I was going to ask?" murmured Clunk. He already had the information he needed, and there was no point waiting until Chylde returned with his guards and carriage. So, he took the chains in his hands and pulled, and the links creaked open as though they were made of straw. There was a tinkle as the metal rings fell on the floor, and then Clunk snapped the manacles at his wrists and ankles, freeing himself. Millie just stared, her mouth wide open in surprise.

  Clunk took up the cloak and donned it, tucking the gloves into one of the voluminous pockets. Then he went to the door, gripped the metal bars and wrenched it open, tearing the lock from its mountings.

  He heard shouting in the distance, and he thought the noise of the breaking door had been heard. He raised a hand for silence and listened intently, expecting to hear a thunder of footsteps getting closer as the guards came to investigate. Instead, he heard more shouting. "Lord Chancellor Regis has been murdered!" cried a voice. "All guards, all guards to me. There are killers loose in the city!"

  Clunk heard a thunder of footsteps fading away, rather than getting closer, and then a door banged in the distance. There was total silence, and to Clunk's surprise he realised the entire place had been vacated. They could simply walk out! Calmly, he beckoned to Millie, and together they strolled out of the cell and headed for the exit.

  Chapter 15

  Clunk and Millie skirted the centre of the city on their way to the main gates, thus avoiding the ongoing hunt for the Lord Chancellor's killer. They could hear shouts and cries as the guards kicked in doors, rounded up suspects, and generally turned Chatter's Reach upside down.

  Millie knew their good fortune couldn't last, and she expected to find numerous guards at the gates. There were … six of them in a row, barring anyone's escape with their drawn weapons. "That's it," she muttered, her heart sinking. "We're done for."

  "Not quite," murmured the robot. "Wait here until the way is clear, then run for it."

  Millie stared at him. "Why, what are you going to do?"

  "I will distract them. Do not be disturbed by anything you might see." Clunk removed the cloak and handed it to her for safekeeping. Then she watched, puzzled, as he took an unlit torch from a half-barrel and smeared the sticky black pitch all over himself. Was he trying to cover his gleaming bronze skin so the guards wouldn't see him in the darkness? If so, the cloak would have been the better choice. Before she could ask again, Clunk melted into the shadows with a muted whirr from his legs. Millie stared after him, then turned to watch the guards. They looked nervous, even though there were six of them, and they were all fidgeting with their weapons, adjusting their armour, tightening the straps on their helmets. Then she saw one of them look to the left. He nudged the guard next to him, and that guard nudged the next, until all of them were staring. Millie leaned forward to look around the corner of the building she was hiding next to, and her hair almost stood on end as she saw a burning figure staggering towards the main gate, arms outstretched. A pillar of fire rose above Clunk's head, for it was he, illuminating the surroundings with flickering light. Long tendrils of flame curled and twisted in the air above his head as he moved.

  Half the guards seemed poised to help, the other half seemed ready to run. And that's when Clunk charged them.

  Millie stared as the metal man race towards the guards, his footsteps thudding on the dirt. They took one look at his gleaming, burning skin and turned tail, fleeing into the city before he could engulf them. Once they were gone, Clunk skidded to a halt before the gates and unhooked the thick wooden beam securing them. He let it fall, pushed the gates open, then turned and beckoned to Millie.

  He needn't have bothered, because she'd set off as soon as the guards departed. As the big gates swung open, she ran straight past Clunk and out of the city. The metal man sprang after her, and together they raced along the path towards the woods.

  The flames flickered and died as they ran, and after they blew out, Clunk was followed by a long, twisting streamer of smoke. When they reached the river he stepped into the water without hesitation, and he scrubbed himself clean with handfuls of wet sand. Then, gleaming once more, he donned the cloak and gloves.

  "That was handily done." Millie felt Clunk's metal skin. "But did the fire not hurt?"

  "Do flames harm the kettle, or the cooking pot?"

  "They do in the Bark kingdom."

  Clunk gave her a look, but there was no time to investigate her curious claim. Instead, he glanced towards the city. "We must keep moving. When the guards return, they will assume the murderer used a distraction to escape. They will almost certainly send patrols."

  The two of them headed south along
the riverbank, with Clunk using his night vision to guide their way. As they pushed through the undergrowth, they spotted firelight ahead, through the trees. It was near the water, and the only way around was to cross the river or go deeper into the woods to get around the fire.

  "Which way do you prefer?" murmured Clunk.

  "I'm not sure," said Millie. "I've never fled a city in the dead of night before."

  "We could try tossing a coin."

  Millie threw a coin into the darkness, and there was a splash as it hit the water.

  "That's not quite what I meant," said Clunk, but it was too late. There was a whistle nearby, and suddenly they were surrounded by at least four people, armed with swords.

  In the darkness it was impossible to see whether it was the city guards or a group of brigands, but it became clear the moment one of them spoke. "Who's this trespassing on our patch?"

  "We mean you no harm," said Clunk. His face was in darkness, still hidden by the hood. "We are just passing through on our way to the city of Branche, in Bark lands."

  "Yes, well you've gone the wrong way, haven't you?"

  "In that case, if you would just point out the correct route, we will leave you to enjoy a pleasant evening."

  "Ohh, don't he talk fancy," said another voice. "And you know what fancy people have, don't you? Money!"

  "We have just escaped the city dungeons," snapped Millie. "Do you really think we carry anything of worth?"

  Their captors came closer, and she realised there were three men and a woman, all dressed in tattered clothes. "And what business do you have in Branche?" demanded the woman. "Many a merchant claims to be an escaped prisoner, until we find their purse of coin."

  "We're travellers."

  "Well, now you're victims. Hand over your valuables."

  "We don't have any!" protested Millie. "Like I said, we're—"

  The woman advanced on Millie. "Look, you, I own this franchise and I'm on a quota here. If I don't turn over a dozen people a day, I might as well pack it in and join the city guard."

  "Franchise?" said Clunk, with a frown. It wasn't a term he expected to hear on a medieval planet.

  "Yes. I used to run a hot food delivery service, but even if I managed to deliver the stuff, it was usually cold, and then I'd get robbed on the way back again." The woman shrugged. "I figured if you can't beat 'em, steal from 'em, so I set this up instead." She saw Clunk's look of surprise. "Franchising is a new concept. You set up a business, then—"

  "I know what a franchise is," said Clunk.

  "Well, I divided up the area and sold franchises to entrepreneurial types with dodgy morals. Oh, we have a rewards card, too. Once you've been robbed nine times, you get a free pass for the tenth." The woman handed Clunk a small square of paper. "Now, give us your valuables or you're dead."

  "When the guards hear about this, they'll hunt you down!" said Millie angrily.

  "Are you kidding? The guards own more franchises than anyone else. They're great at the old shakedowns." The woman gestured with her sword. "I'm done with chatting. Money and valuables. Now."

  Clunk stepped in front of Millie. "No."

  "Okay, have it your way," said the woman, and she drove her sword into his belly.

  At least, she tried to. The point slipped off Clunk's stomach, and the blade snapped like a twig. Then Clunk reached out and picked her up bodily, throwing her over his shoulder. There was a drawn-out cry, then a loud splash as she went into the river.

  Immediately, the three men charged at him, swords swinging. Clunk's hands slashed, quicker than the eye could see, shattering their blades as though they were made from glass. The hood slipped off his head with his exertions, and in the half-light the men stood there, holding their useless sword hilts, frozen at the sight of the metal man.

  "Kill them," growled Millie. "Kill them while they stand helpless!"

  "I cannot, for the three laws control my behaviour." Clunk advanced on the men, who regarded him like stunned rabbits. "The first law states that I must never harm a human being, unless they irritate me." With this, Clunk grabbed the first robber and threw him into the river. "The second law states that I will never allow a human being to come to harm, unless they deserve it." Clunk took hold of the second robber, and there was a splash as he too went for a late-night dip. Clunk turned to the third robber, who at that moment recovered his senses and ran for it, only to trip on a tree-root and plunge headlong into the swirling waters. Clunk frowned at the rewards card, then tore it in two and flung it after them.

  Millie glanced at the white froth in the river, where the robbers were splashing around as they tried to reach the bank. Then she turned to Clunk, her eyes shining. "That was handily done, Clunk. You have enormous speed and strength."

  "I was built that way," said Clunk modestly.

  Millie shivered, and she realised she was freezing cold. The robber's fire was nearby, and she beckoned to Clunk. "Come, let us warm ourselves at their hearth."

  They pushed through the bushes and approached a large fire, which gave out a pleasant warmth. There was a metal pot hanging above the flames, and Millie could smell a delicious aroma of hot food. She had no idea what had gone into the pot, but as long as it wasn't an earlier victim she didn't care. She hurried over, grabbed a wooden plate and a hunk of bread, and tucked in. As she ate, she remembered something. "You said three laws."

  Clunk glanced at her. "I'm sorry?"

  "What's your third law?"

  "Oh." Clunk thought for a moment. "The third law states that my decisions are final, and no correspondence will be entered into."

  "Your words are strange to my ear, but I will grow used to them with time." Millie held out a bowl. "Do you want some of this stew?"

  "Thank you, but I do not eat." Clunk put his head on one side. "I believe the robbers are coming back. We should keep moving."

  Millie nodded, and together they entered the bushes, heading south along the river bank. On the way she finished the stew and mopped the gravy up with a scrap of bread. "That was the first hot food I've seen for days," she explained, as she tossed the bowl into the river. "They might be lousy robbers, but one of them was a fair cook."

  An hour later Clunk called a halt. There was a fallen tree nearby, and the undergrowth had covered most of the trunk, creating a natural shelter. They slipped into the dry hollow, and Clunk laid his cloak on the ground so that Millie would have a comfortable bed. Then, once she was settled, he took up a position just inside the entrance to their makeshift tent. There was a curtain of ivy concealing his position, and after parting the undergrowth a few millimetres Clunk sat there, immobile, as he kept watch on their surroundings with unblinking, all-seeing eyes.

  Chapter 16

  When Tiera reached the inn she found Thonn asleep in her bed. She'd barely wiped the last traces of the Lord Chancellor's kidneys off her stiletto when she heard raised voices in the street outside. She stripped off her dark clothing and donned a plain peasant dress before peeking over the windowsill to see guards fanning out to check every building in the street. Three of them made for the tavern, and moments later she heard the thunder of their boots on the stairs.

  The door burst open, and a guard barged in. He glanced at Thonn, eyed Tiera in her peasant's garb, and frowned. "What is your business in the city?"

  "I am to be wed," said Tiera, in a thick country accent. She lowered her gaze and tried to look like a blushing bride, while simultaneously holding the stiletto ready behind her back. She wasn't sure whether this guard had been present in the High Priest's tower after the explosion the night before, or whether he'd been on duty in the prison earlier that day, and if he recognised her … well, he would not live long enough to raise the alarm.

  "Who's that sharing the bed? You got a lover on the side?" sneered the guard.

  "I am her brother," said Thonn, woken by the noise. At least, Tiera assumed he'd been woken by the noise. He might have been feigning sleep in order to cop a sneaky look while she'd bee
n undressing.

  The door opened wider and Captain Spadell looked in. He spotted Tiera, but managed to conceal his surprise. "What's with the chatter, man? You're meant to be searching the rooms for an assassin, not chatting up innocent young women!"

  "Sorry sir."

  The guard knuckled his forehead and moved on, and Spadell slipped into the room and pulled the door to. "I might have known," he said, with a shake of his head. "We found a pair of neat little holes in the Lord Chancellor's back, and I'm betting they'd be a match for that fancy sticking-pin of yours. You wouldn't know anything about his death, would you? Collecting a payment, perhaps?" Despite the words his tone was light, and there was a half-smile on his lips.

  "Who, me?" said Tiera. "Why sir, I was here tending to Thonn all evening."

  Spadell's smile grew bigger, and Tiera realised he was quite good looking, in a captain-of-the-guards-and-therefore-her-enemy kind of fashion. Under other circumstances …

  "Well hasn't he made a remarkable recovery," said Spadell, who was now regarding Thonn with surprise. "Almost magical, you might say."

  "It's surprising what a woman's touch will do for a man."

  "I know, I just saw the touches you left on Minimus Regis's body." Spadell sighed. "Look, I'm not going to arrest you for this. My neck is on the line, right along with yours."

  Tiera realised what he meant. "Oh. Of course."

  "Why?" asked Thonn. "What did the captain do?"

  "Tiera was locked up over the High Priest's death," said Spadell. "She was released by my hand, and a few hours later she goes and kills Lord Chancellor Regis."

  "Allegedly killed Regis," said Tiera.

  "Let's not play games," said Spadell sharply. "Also, did you forget your promise, or are you working up to your target one VIP at a time? Getting your eye in, so to speak?"

  "Yours is next on my list, I promise. I've had a lot to get through."

  Unwillingly, Spadell shook his head. "You cannot complete your … task … this eve. The city is on high alert, and there will be a strict curfew, my word on it. The task … I still wish it done, but I cannot in good conscience ask you to attempt it tonight."