by Sturm, Lacey
A girl named Taylor wrote me an email a few years ago. She sounded so much like myself at her age. She was depressed, confused, cutting, and suicidal. She said that Flyleaf’s music had helped her through, but she still struggled. I had never met her before, but as I read her email, I was overwhelmed with love for her. I love her because the God I love created her. It was obvious she had no idea how valuable she was. She didn’t understand the perfect love God has for her. I wrote her a letter in response to her email to tell her God loves her and has a great plan for her life.
Taylor wanted me to share what I wrote with you, because much of what I said to her I also want to say to you.
Hi Taylor!
Are you fourteen? You sound a lot older. Thank you for your message. I’m sorry I missed it earlier. It never gets old hearing the way God does miracles in people’s lives. We prayed our music would speak his healing, freedom, and deliverance to people—salvation only God can bring to people.
You remind me of myself when I was your age in a lot of ways. I’m so glad God spoke to your heart when you heard my story. He loves you and has a plan for your life that is so far beyond what you can imagine for yourself. I don’t mean fame, or success the way the world thinks of it. But it could be a moment with your firstborn in your arms when you realize he or she wouldn’t be alive if God hadn’t rescued you, or a moment with a girl whose life was saved because you were brave enough to share your story.
There is a daily purpose for your life that is so important. Some days it is just to learn about God. Sometimes it is to pray for someone and move mountains with your faith. Some days it is to say “Hi” to someone who needs to know they aren’t invisible. Your very breath moves the air and as long as it does that, you are changing the world.
I pray you would not settle for less than fulfilling God’s highest purpose for your life in every way. I pray you would know what it means to have wisdom, love, and the power of God, to bring healing, freedom, and truth to everyone you come in contact with. Even if it’s just by your presence, carrying God’s Spirit with you and changing the atmosphere by just being there.
I pray you would heal from all the injustices that happened in your life. I pray you would fight for justice for others and help bring victory to them. I pray you would know how the enemy of your soul fears your faith in God. The enemy knows how your faith will rip people out of his hands of death and place them into Christ’s hands of life. He knows God made you and that you reflect the character and beauty of God. He knows if you trust Jesus and follow him as Lord, you will be one of the ones who will judge angels in eternity, and cast demons out by the power of Jesus’s name on earth.
You are a powerful work of God’s art, Taylor. You have no idea the amazing plans God has for your life. Don’t settle for cheap imitations. Not in romance, not in art, not in influence. Don’t settle, just because you can’t imagine how much greater and fuller you could be if you would trust God with your life. I’m only a girl who said yes to God. No different than you, except that I put my trust in him and have given him all that I was and am every day. Today I try to give him all that I am, and trust him. Because of that, I am choosing not to limit my life and my gifts to my own generic plans for myself.
God is so kind, Taylor. His love is the only true love. That’s why every other imitation of it leaves us empty. That’s why our hearts burn within us every time we hear someone tell us with sincerity, “God loves you.” God made us so he could love us. We will feel restless and empty, and always come up short, if we try to find purpose anywhere else.
Thank you for listening to our music. Thank you for paying attention to the lyrics. I pray God gives you the words to help people understand the love and wisdom of God in ways they never did before, through your poems. I pray you would use your gift of words for God’s glory and that they would save people from death, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Amen!
God has given Taylor a gift of words. She uses her words to tell stories and write poems that make people feel deeply. She had used this gift to write many sad, hopeless poems. I encouraged her to not settle for limiting her gift in a way that will only bring her glory. I encouraged her to use her gift to bring glory to God. So she wrote a poem that still brings me life when I read it.
We make empty wishes upon stars that have already begun to burn away,
We add false color to hair that has already begun to grey.
We place lively spring flowers at the feet of the dead,
And we only voice our most meaningful words on our deathbeds.
Why is it that we try so hard to paint colors onto things that have already faded away,
Yet we never open our eyes to see the bright hues of today?
When I open my eyes to the bright hues of today, I think of you. I want you to know you are beautiful. I want you to see the beauty of life around you. I want you to fulfill the highest heights for which you were created.
Do you realize God created you? You are his idea, a reflection of God’s glory.
The God I love created you. While I still have today on this earth to love, I want to love you, dear reader. I want you to know that no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, no matter what you do or what you have done, God loves you.
I am alive because God loves me and sent his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross for my sins.
I am alive, and Christ is The Reason.
God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life—life to the full. Christ died so you could live, because he loves you.
You are The Reason.
You and I were made to be lovers of God. There is no other love greater. There is nothing else that will give us more life.
Your Tomorrow
You and I are traveling on different paths. Though we may share similar experiences and enjoy the same things, each of us is unique. My journey took many turns and dips and crashes. But each bend in the road of life—each dip and crash—adds a little bit more beauty to us as people. Those experiences and scars left by themselves will certainly fester and turn an ugly color, turning us ugly. But God took my experiences and crashes and turned them into something surprising, something magnificent: joy.
God made you for a purpose. It is important and beautiful. Your life is a gift to you and to the world around you. We settle for so much less than we are created for when we give our lives to money, work, pride, drugs, abuse, suicide, dreams, family, friends, and lovers. God made us to be his alone.
C. S. Lewis wrote:
Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.1
I love that, and it’s so true! I don’t want to settle for mud pies. I want to experience God in all his glory. I want his desires to become my desires.
When we give God our lives, we become our truest selves, and we are able to find our greatest purpose and fulfill our highest callings. It’s only in God that humanity’s restless soul can be satisfied, because humanity was made by God to be his bride. He is the greatest love of our lives. He is our true love. He is all we are ever searching for.
He is the reason we breathe and our only place of true rest and peace. He is our Father, our Creator, our lover, and our best friend. We are alive to be loved by God. He’s made us alive by sending his Son Jesus to die for all our sins so that we can be forgiven and made whole again. Jesus rose from the dead and overcame death so that, in Christ, we too will overcome death when we die. After he rose from the dead, Jesus sat down in heaven at the right hand of the Father, where he now intercedes for all of us.
But he didn’t leave us orphans. He sent us his Holy Spirit to live in our hearts, every da
y, all the time, so we would never have to be alone or without him. All we have to do is repent of our sins and give up all that we have settled for that is so much less than we were created for, and he will forgive us. Then, as we invite him to be the Lord of our lives, we will begin to find the fullness of life, peace, joy, hope, and faith that we are made for. We are made to be his alone.
Here’s a song I wrote that describes everything I’ve just told you. I sing it to God often after I share my story. Maybe you could sing it to him too.
The Reason
All my life I searched for something,
To satisfy the longing in my heart
and every time I’d come away emptier than before
And now I finally see the reason
It’s because I was made to be yours alone
You formed my heart with your own hands
But I just could not understand
That if I gave you my life,
I’d be healed by your grace
I was made for your love
And gave others your place
I spent my days giving my heart away
To anything new
Only to ache from the poison of my
Temporary muse
There were times I’d cry myself to sleep at night
Only to wake up
Wishing that I didn’t
And now I finally see the reason
’Cause I was made to be yours alone
You formed my heart with your own hands
But I just could not understand
That if I gave you my life
I’d be healed by your grace
I was made for your love
And gave others your place
Thank you for never giving up on me
When I looked to everything else and lived so selfishly
You bled and you died to be with me,
Why would you do something like that for someone like me?
Now I finally see the reason
Because I was made to be yours alone.
You formed my heart with your own hands
And now I finally understand
And I give you my life
And I’m healed by your grace
I was made for your love that no one can replace
This is it,
I won’t miss
Everything I am made for . . .
To be yours
I’m all yours . . .
Now that you know a little about my story, and me, I look forward to talking with you again through another book—I have all kinds of ideas!—and through my blog and through social media. My husband, Josh, and I have also written new music, including songs inspired by this book! Though we’re all on unique paths, the beauty of this life is that we can encourage each other, be there for each other in different ways, and love one another through everything.
__________________
1. Lewis, Weight of Glory, 26.
Afterword
The reason I know Lacey Sturm is simple. She and her band have been guest artists at Rock the River evangelistic meetings—festivals sponsored by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA)—where I preach the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to all age groups, but primarily to the youth across America.
The message is powerful. The message is simple. And the message is of vital importance because people everywhere are in desperate need.
God made you, he created you, and he loves you. God wants to heal your heart. He wants you to experience his love and discover his plan and purpose for your life; but the problem Lacey faced, and that we all face, is that we are sinners and sin separates us from God. Yet, “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16 KJV). Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” (14:6 KJV).
Are you willing to turn from your sins and believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ? If you are, God will forgive your sins and, like he did for Lacey, he will turn your life around. He gave her a reason for living.
If you would like to experience what Lacey experienced, pray this prayer:
Dear God,
I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sins. I want to turn from my sins.
I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son, that he died for me upon the cross, that he was buried for my sins, and that he was raised to life.
I want to trust Jesus now as my Savior and follow him as my Lord from this day forward forevermore.
Amen.
If you have prayed this prayer, write to Lacey. I know that she would like to hear from you. You can visit LaceySturm.com/TheReason to find out how you can connect with someone to talk to and pray with about your decision.
Franklin Graham
Acknowledgments
I’ve always looked at books with wonder. How do people write so many words, and create worlds with just an alphabet and some paper? It is still very mystical to me. So the first person I have to acknowledge is the God who created humans with language, imagination, and reason. Thank you, God, for our ability to reflect and learn. You wrote the story of life itself and decided to include the tiny thread of my life in the tapestry of your grand masterpiece. Thank you, Jesus, for being the source of life in my heart and turning my worst moments of death into testimonies of life and overcoming.
Thank you to my husband, Joshua, for believing I could write a book before the thought could have ever entered my mind. I would never have attempted this if you hadn’t told me I could do it.
Thank you, Mom, for giving me life. Thank you for all the time you spent sharing stories with me. Thank you for your willingness to let a few of the thousands of miracles God has done in our family be written and shared so that other people might be inspired to push through and not give up. You are one of the most phenomenal women I’ve ever known or heard of. You are beautiful. I love you.
Thank you, Jack and Arrow, for being patient with your momma and loving me so freely. I’ve never been loved like you boys love me. You are my favorites. I love you forever. I like you for always.
Thank you, Eric, Jazz, Phil, Stevie, and Roman. You are all creative, inspiring, challenging, and brilliant. You have each called passion, freedom, and whimsy out of my heart, making life more beautiful to me, especially during a time when I couldn’t see beauty anywhere else.
Thank you, Granny, for being passionate, generous, prayerful, and persistent. I wouldn’t be alive without you. Thank you, Gramps, for being the steadiest thing I ever saw growing up. Thank you for not giving up on me when I wanted to give up on myself.
Thank you, Sturm family: Mom, Dad, Jason, Joelene, and Ziggy. I have the greatest in-laws I could ask for. I love this family so much; it brings me to tears thinking of all of you. You have taught me so much in the past six years and I’m honored to be a part of your tree. Thank you for giving Jack and Arrow a loving, fun place to play and learn while I wrote much of this book.
Thank you, Erica Haney, for helping me in the most important areas of my life so I could have the freedom to roam around in my memories and write. God bless you for your willingness to love my kids and me.
Thank you, Tim, Chris, and Pixie Willards. Your patience with the endless rewriting and my overexplaining is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen. You are a beautiful, inspiring family, and the Sturms are thankful to feel like you all are family to us. Tim, your words and wisdom are a signature as unique as your thumbprint. I’m honored to have gotten to work with you on this book. I’m still wondering about how to answer the questions people will have about their favorite quotes “from me,” when all their favorite quotes will be something beautiful you wrote!
Thank you, Papa Robb Kelley, for prophesying about this book’s existence years before the writing began.
Thank you, Eric and Sarah Patrick, for teaching me so much, and praying for me when I was closest to death. When I was sixteen and you didn’t
know me, and when I was twenty-six and you knew me better than I knew myself. Both times, your prayers rescued me. Thank you.
Thank you, Flyleaf family, crew, Melanie Savoie, Deb Klein, Octone Records. We did impossible things together. You will always be like my flesh and blood family. Thank you for your years of patience with me. You saw me at my worst and didn’t leave me. You’re profound in so many ways. Because of my memories of you all, I’m still learning so much from you. And thank you, Kristen May, for helping us all by stepping in, letting me go home, and letting the guys keep going. You’re awesome. And your new music is something refreshing and truly a beautiful New Horizon.
Thank you, Matt Yates and Baker Books. You are a team of people who make miraculous things happen. I’m so blessed to know you.
Thank you, J. W., Dina, Jordan, and Walker Clarke. You have been there to help encourage me every step of the way and make sure I know that I’m not crazy. Jordan, your illustrations are beautiful and will speak to millions of people.
Thank you, Franklin Graham and BGEA. You are the biggest encouragement I have to tell my story. You bring so much freedom in my life by letting me know I can be myself. I’m thankful to be one of your millions of spiritual children.
Thank you, Ryan and Crystal Ries, Sonny Sandoval, Brian “Head” Welch, and the Whosoever family. You are doing miraculous things just by being you. You are reaching out to the ones no one else is reaching. You are a glorious, perplexing wonder. Thank you for letting me be a part of what God is doing through you guys.
Thank you to every fan who truly listened and cared enough to want to know what was behind the music. I believe in you all. Thank you to all the ones who heard of us and understood our need for prayers and encouragement. Brittany Wigand, you are so inspiring to me. Thank you to all of you who have written me emails and encouraged me.