“I love you, baby,” he said against her wet hair. “I’ve always loved you.”
“I know, Warren. I know, even if you never said it. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you when I set out to snare you.”
Warren held her away from him so that he could see her face, her eyes reddened from all that crying. “I’ve thought about that, baby. You did set out to snare me, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. He frowned for a moment at the mix of metaphors. "I’m just sorry that you had to hide some of the real you from me because you thought I wouldn’t want you.”
“You wouldn’t have, Warren.” He winced at her certain, dark tone. She was probably right. He had been such an emotional disaster, so scared of committing to someone who wasn’t perfect. Someone who might not measure up to the standards he had set for himself, unattainable standards, especially for himself. But worse was his fear of committing to someone who could have the power to hurt him. Well, he had learned that there was risk in relationships and that it was worth it. He was getting a second chance, and he wasn’t screwing it up.
“Moving on, Haley,” he said firmly and grabbed the bodywash to lather and soap her body. He took his time, cleaning her from her chin to her toes and back again. Haley was like a cat, arching and purring as he aroused her with his touch. He hurriedly shampooed her hair and rinsed her off thoroughly, then gently pushed her face first up against the tiled wall, kicking her feet apart to give him room to step against her and find her opening with his cock. He pushed home in one thrust, and Haley cried out, all the tiny muscles in her sheath caressing his hard flesh. It felt amazing, and he knew he would never tire of this. Never tire of her. He settled in for a languorous ride and she pushed back against him, murmuring her enjoyment. When at last he felt his balls draw up and the soles of his feet go numb, he reached around to stroke her clit, and they came together, a joining like never before. His heart swelled in concert.
After another wash, he dried Haley off and carried her into the bedroom they presently shared with Gordon. He and Haley had their own rooms, but so far all they used them for was to store clothes. Warren wanted to get on with a renovation so that it was a place that bore the stamp of them all. Gordon was willing, but Haley was hesitant. Not that he blamed her. He had turned over this new leaf just a few short months ago, and he had hurt his woman, their woman, badly, before that. He sighed inwardly. Gordon kept reminding him that trust was earned. Well, he was busy earning it, except when he said stupid, autocratic things like telling Haley he didn’t want her to work. Haley was a chef, and an excellent one. Her boss was opening another restaurant in the area on the strength of her talent, although the public was fickle. Warren felt proud of her, but perversely, resented having to do without her when she worked. Sharing her with Gordon had turned out far better than he expected, so perhaps he would eventually adjust to the independent side of Haley and quit being so selfish as to want her available at all times.
“Warren?”
“Yes, baby?” Haley was curling up beneath the covers, her long lashes drifting down over her cheeks. She looked well-fucked and absolutely lovely, and his heart swelled again and beat against the walls of his chest.
“I need a nap.”
Warren chuckled and bent to press a kiss on her cheek. She was asleep before he shrugged into a robe and went in search of Gordon. He found him in the kitchen, apparently examining the countertops.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
Gordon ran his hand over the butcher-block. “I think I’ll replace the kitchen with cherry cabinets and granite countertops. Maybe some stainless steel commercial appliances.”
Warren laughed. “If she won’t get on board with the bedroom reno, then you’ll redo the kitchen?”
Gordon flushed. “It’s an old house. Haley loves it. She says it has character and good bones. But the kitchen isn’t updated enough for her. She deserves a chef’s kitchen.”
Warren immediately sobered. “She does, Gordon, but both you and I know that she’ll see it as pressure. She’s not ready.”
“You’re getting perceptive, Warren. Who said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks? I’ll think on it some more. But I’m probably going to do it. I find I can’t do enough for her.”
“Hey!” Warren reacted to the dog comment. “Pot and kettle, my friend. I’m still well on the sunny side of forty.”
“Don’t remind me,” Gordon muttered. “Are you forgetting that I want a baby or two with Haley? And I don’t want to be confused as the child’s grandfather.”
Warren immediately regretted his response. Gordon would soon be forty-three and had decided against having children in his last relationship, primarily because he had fallen for Haley, while Haley was falling for Warren. Warren wondered at how things had come full circle. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted children, but if he ever did, it would be with Haley. And he figured it would be fine to be a parent to Gordon and Haley’s child, and maybe he could learn how to be a good dad along the way. If Haley agreed to have babies. Life was much simpler when Haley did as he bade her, if not as exhilarating. Predictability was highly overrated, he had come to accept, but this adjusting and compromising tended to make him a little nuts.
“Let’s take Haley on a vacation,” he proposed.
Gordon looked interested then reluctantly shook his head. “She has just established herself again, and no way can she take time off. Besides, this is real life for us, and we need to find our way in this context. Things will work out, Warren. I have to believe that. Who knew that you and I would be sharing a sub full time? And that it would be running as smoothly as it has been?”
“You were pretty goddamn quick to take advantage, buddy.” Warren couldn’t prevent some residual anger from colouring his statement.
“I’m not going to apologize again, Warren,” Gordon advised. “Haley left you for good cause, and if she hadn’t come to me, then you might want to think about where she might have gone.”
Warren pushed down his strong reaction and was able to answer in a fairly calm manner. “You can’t blame me for thinking that I would have tracked her down and made it up to her and she would have come back to me.”
“And I think you subconsciously knew that things were going to change, Warren, so you arranged the threesome at the club to celebrate your anniversary. You brought us all together after a full year of not sharing her with me, even though I was your third with all your other subs. Anyway.” Gordon scrubbed his hands over his face. “It doesn’t matter what could have happened. If you feel betrayed or something, then spit it out and get over it, Warren. I won’t let it spoil what we have now.”
Warren knew he was acting like that ass again. He had a future here, and it must seem like he was trying to push it away. “I did feel betrayed, and sometimes I still do, but that’s my selfishness coming to the fore. It’s going to take some time before I quit slipping back on occasion.”
“We may not have that kind of time, Warren,” Gordon said quietly, a note of warning in his tone. “Haley will put you on your ass. I get a sense from her at times that worries me. C’mon, Warren! Admit that being kept a little off balance makes life more interesting. Because deep down, you are as sure of Haley as I am. Just accept that she won’t let you tell her what to do unless it involves intimacy.”
“And her safety.”
“Agreed. Now, granite or quartz?”
Warren laughed. He had more than enough money to throw at a kitchen reno. They both did, and he and Gordon would have a nice gift for their little woman. He knew how lucky he was to have such a good friend, and resolved to let go of the bullshit.
Chapter Three
Haley muttered to herself as she sorted through her closet. It didn’t matter that a cleaning crew went through the place every day as soon as the construction workers put down their tools. Drywall dust was insidious, and she swore she could feel it in her teeth. It felt like her clothes were impregnated with the fine stuff as well, an
d that it transferred to her skin like a film, not to mention dried out her hair. She hated it. Gordon and Warren were like two kids, supervising the job’s progress, thrilled that they were building such a fine kitchen for her. Haley smiled to herself for a moment. While she wasn’t surprised at Gordon’s delight in pleasing her, Warren was showing a side of him that she had longed to see, a side she knew had been hiding behind that aloof, selfish man he wanted the world to see. It had been his armour. It was her fault if she wasn’t yet prepared to trust this thing they had.
The kitchen reno was just another step in her men’s not-so-subtle efforts to have her commit and settle into a full-time relationship with them both. The bedroom would be next if she gave an inch, and if she did, which she wasn’t going to for a while yet, if ever, then they would have to move out for the duration of that remodel. She wasn’t going to put up with the mess, not when they could all afford to go away for a few weeks, except she couldn’t go away because of her job. Haley told herself that it was good to have an excuse not to be able to go on vacation because then the bedroom would get done and she would be as good as married to both Gordon and Warren. Her traitorous pussy blithely suggested that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea, while her tender heart argued for more time to ensure it was healed. Her brain became the voice of reason, only because she was in her own private sanctum and didn’t have either man in view. Because when Haley was within eyeshot of Gordon or Warren, all she wanted to do was be close to them, talk with them, adore them, fuck them. And Haley was terrified that the strong physical need would circumvent her ability to live her life. Never again was she going to subjugate her own needs and desires to please a man. Worse, she seemed to have lost the ability to compromise. If it was about sex with Warren and Gordon, then she was right there lining up for the chance. But when it came to finding a balance, she was lost because they overwhelmed her. Haley was thinking about moving out on her own, away from the ties that were binding, and dreaded the confrontation that would take place when she told them.
“Haley?” She jumped, startled, when Warren’s voice intruded from the other side of the door. How long had he been out there? She hadn’t heard him knock, as involved as she had been in her worried thoughts. She hurried to open the door, and as usual her insides fluttered and her pussy clenched at the sight of Warren’s handsome face and large, relaxed frame lounging against the opposite wall.
“I’ll drop you at the restaurant on my way to the airport, honey,” he announced. “Gordon is waiting for the plumber.”
Haley smiled at him, not wanting to let any of her confused thoughts slip out. Warren was getting better at reading between the lines, and she really didn’t want to get into any deep discussions with him. He was getting almost too good at reading her, if that was even possible. “I’ll just grab my purse.”
Warren waited until she stepped out into the hall and then pulled her to him, leaning down to capture her mouth with his. Haley found herself melting into him, her breasts getting heavy, the nipples firming into points that stabbed into his dress shirt. Warren lifted his head and stared down at her, his eyes roiling with lust.
“I have a few minutes before I need to leave,” he began.
Haley pushed at him, and he reluctantly let her go, his lips compressing and his eyes narrowing. She felt as bereft as he looked, but there simply wasn’t time. Her sous chef was causing problems, and if she didn’t get to work soon, he would change an item on the menu to better showcase his talent but spoil all the flavours that she had carefully chosen to flow together.
“I don’t, Warren,” she said. “I need to get going now.”
She literally felt his eyes warming her ass as she preceded him down the hall. She would have never chanced refusing the old Warren, and enjoyed the sensation of establishing a boundary, even if she could feel his frustration. He really was trying, and Haley felt another reason to stay fall into place. She was too conflicted. Something had to give. She kissed Gordon good-bye at the bottom of the stairs and let Warren take her arm and escort her to the car. She avoided looking at him as he helped her inside and fastened her seatbelt, his hands lingering on her waist. When he pressed a kiss on the top of her head before withdrawing to shut the door, Haley blinked back tears. She wished she could just agree to what they wanted, and trust that Warren would keep growing and changing, believe that Gordon would balance him out. They truly had her best interests at heart and likely knew what was best for her, especially Gordon. But she wasn’t ready.
The drive to the restaurant was made in silence, Warren perceptively recognizing her need not to converse. She was grateful for that. He helped her out of the vehicle, mirroring the same courtesy he had shown earlier, and Haley kissed him with her heart at the door. Then she hurried inside, assuming her chef’s persona, and didn’t look back.
* * * *
The end of her shift couldn’t come soon enough. Jeffrey the jerk had lived up to her expectations, and the resulting blow-up had been everything one could hope for. Or not. They weren’t on reality TV for heaven’s sake. In any event, Jeffrey was gone, but not before disrupting the kitchen with hurled invectives and a few pieces of dishware. That meant Haley was without a sous chef and had to press one of the serving staff into service and pick up the slack herself. However, the kitchen staff all pulled together, and with the wait personnel fronting with their usual aplomb, the covers went out without a hitch and the evening finally ground to a halt on a positive note. Haley sat at her desk in the corner where she tried to put the new menus together. She was too tired to think straight after the extra work and the emotional drain of her worry about committing to Warren and Gordon and the hassle with Jeffrey. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. A pair of large hands settled on her shoulders and began to massage the tension away. Gordon. Haley jerked her head up and looked at the time.
“Oh, Gordon, I’m sorry. It’s been insane tonight, and I forgot to call and tell you that I’d be late.”
Gordon pulled her up and into his arms, where he spoke against her hair. “It’s fine, sweetheart. I just came in to see how you were.”
Haley looked up at him. He was so damn perceptive. He had picked up on her stiffness with Warren earlier, but he wouldn’t push her, wouldn’t pry. He would just be present, and she would tell him because she wanted to. She took a breath. “I have to get these done so that the orders can go out first thing, Gordon. Have a drink or something and wait, okay?”
“Take whatever time you need, Haley.” His quiet, deep voice held no inflection other than patience, but Haley felt reproached.
She went through the necessary documentation as quickly as possible and left them for the owner. She stood and stretched and turned to Gordon. His large, broad body was slouched against the counter, and Haley winced again at the memory of Jeffrey’s threats, made as he hammered that very counter for emphasis. She blocked those thoughts and smiled, reaching out to Gordon.
“What’s wrong, Haley?”
“Nothing, just work stuff,” she reassured him. “Take me home, Gordon. I’d like a cup of your tea and a cuddle.”
Gordon wrapped his big arm around her and ushered her through the door. She waved to the few remaining staff, and they called their good nights, assuring her they would lock up. She relaxed during the drive home, and Gordon tuned the radio to some modern jazz. It was becoming her recent habit not to talk with her men, and while this was mostly a comfortable silence, Haley knew that she was withholding and what the penalty for that would be, the biggest fine of which she would impose on herself.
Gordon didn’t ask again until she had changed into her robe and was curled up in his arms on the couch, sipping the longed for cup of tea.
“Talk to me, Haley.” His tone was darker and brooked no argument.
Haley sighed. “Tonight wasn’t much fun, Gordon,” she began.
“I’m asking about earlier, little one. We can’t do this without communication.”
Haley sighed agai
n. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, Gordon. I once thought I knew what happiness was, and I was wrong. It hurt me terribly. Then I found out you had feelings for me, and I thought I was an absolute slut for wanting to explore that when I had just broken up with Warren.”
Gordon made to interrupt when she called herself a slut. “No,” she said. “You wanted to talk, so you had better listen.”
Gordon’s eyes narrowed, and Haley knew she might have wracked up a punishment for later, but that was okay. Gordon always made discipline worthwhile. She snuggled in closer to his massive chest, and listened to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart before she continued.
“I had just found work and was feeling more grounded and good about myself, starting to heal a bit over Warren, when you invited him over! I’m still pissed at you over that, Gordon, in case you didn’t know.”
“I told you I wouldn’t move on you until I thought you were ready, Haley,” Gordon advised her, “and I believed you were.”
Haley slipped off his lap to sit on the edge of the coffee table. She leaned forward to lock eyes with him. “And I’m not so certain.”
She cringed inwardly at the look in Gordon’s eyes. She hated that she had put that uncertainty there, that she had the power to hurt him so, but the sense of foreboding she harboured was so unsettling. If they all tired of the sex, and there wasn’t anything else left, then what? And Gordon wanted children on top of it all. Where would that leave the children?
“Are you saying that you don’t have feelings for Warren anymore, Haley?” Gordon brought her back to the present, and his voice was filled with surprise.
True Perfection [Aspire 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 2