When Warren merely shrugged, clearly tired, Gordon let it drop and headed for the door.
“Hey.” Gordon turned back at Warren’s voice. “Take her to bed, Gordon. Make her feel something other than the guilt she doesn’t own. Think of me when you’re doing it.”
Gordon laughed and left. He met Haley hurrying back down the hall and whirled her around with one hand. “We’re going home, little one. We’ll come back to visit later.”
He thought she would protest, felt it in the tensing of her body, and took pity on her dilemma. Did she obey him or return to Warren’s room? He didn’t want her to have to make that choice when there really wasn’t one.
“Warren suggested it, Haley. You need a proper shower and actual food. A rest would be in order as well.”
His subservient, quiet little woman meekly preceded him out to the car and let him buckle her in without another word. It was unnerving, despite the fact that he now believed he knew why she was behaving in such a manner. Gordon planned to shake up the status quo that very afternoon.
* * * *
Haley soaked in the big tub off the master bedroom, luxuriating in the hot, scented water. She had scrubbed her hair under the shower with Gordon’s help and wrapped it up in a towel while the bath filled. It didn’t feel quite right to be so comfortable while Warren lay in a hospital bed, but she was exhausted and justified it by assuring herself that she would have more energy after a bath and a rest. Gordon had stripped her then put her into the shower before climbing in to help her wash, and the familiarity of it all made her heart ache. She was so tired of waiting for the axe to fall, and on one hand wanted to get it over with. On the other, she hoped for more time. More time to see Warren back on his feet, and more time to obey Gordon and show him that she cared just as much for him as she did for Warren before they told her to leave. Yet she was equally terrified they would take her on vacation and reject her there, when she would have no place to turn. Her thought process had begun to feel a bit skewed over the past couple of days, but she was too exhausted to spend any time trying to sort it out.
Gordon came back into the bathroom carrying a tray laden with a variety of snacks and a steaming cup of tea. Real tea, not that swill the hospital served. Haley felt like someone had punched her in the chest. Jeffrey had called her food swill right before he stabbed Warren. The room got blurry and she heard the tray crash onto the counter before Gordon yanked her up and out of the tub. He wrapped her in one of the big bath sheets and carried her into the bedroom where he almost fell onto the mattress with her. She clung to his heat and solid frame.
“Breathe, Haley, take deep breaths and hang onto me.”
Haley did as he said, and the fist around her heart loosened and she was able to unclench her fingers from the fabric of Gordon’s robe.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I had a flash of Jeffrey stabbing Warren,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Gordon.”
Gordon pinned her to the bed, his big frame hovering over hers. “Look at me!”
Startled, Haley did as he ordered, and the rage in his eyes had her shutting hers.
“Look at me!”
Oh God, it was happening. Gordon was going to tell her how angry he was with her. He was going to tell her what she already knew, that it had been her fault, and then she would never see him again. It didn’t feel right. Gordon wasn’t like that. But it was true. If she hadn’t refused their plan, hadn’t been so headstrong, had done what they wanted because they knew what was best for her, Warren wouldn’t be in hospital and she wouldn’t be waiting for Gordon to break things off with her. Maybe that’s why Warren had told him to take her home. Warren didn’t have the strength right now to tell her to go and asked Gordon to do it. Haley moaned in abject pain.
“Damn it, Haley, open your eyes and look at me!”
Haley forced herself to look up at him. He balanced his weight above her, his hands planted beside her shoulders, his knees tight against her hips. She could feel his cock hardening against her belly, even with the distance between their bodies, and had to fight not to arch against him. She wanted him inside her one more time. Gordon impaled her with his glance instead.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Haley. You are not responsible for that asshole’s actions. Period. Do you hear me?”
Gordon’s language almost convinced her that he meant what he said, far more than his actual words. Gordon never swore around her, although Warren had loosened up considerably. Gordon was the consummate gentleman. She searched his eyes and flinched at the frustration she saw there. He was angry with her.
“Warren doesn’t hold you responsible either, Haley, although you will need to hear that from him, I’m sure.” Gordon rolled away and stared up at the ceiling, and she mourned the loss of contact.
“I don’t know why you feel the need to assume such responsibility, but that’s what you have done, correct?”
Haley sat up and swivelled to answer Gordon directly. “Why are you so angry?” she asked, instead.
Gordon sat up in turn and reached to grab her shoulders. He shook her gently. “Because I’ve watched you torture yourself for the past three and a half days over something you had no control over. It could have been you, Haley! Did you ever consider that? And how would I have gone on then?”
Haley covered her face with both hands and spoke between her fingers. “It should have been me.”
When Gordon dragged her down and rolled back on top of her, Haley sensed a change in him, something that made her belly clench. “Never say that again, sub. I won’t tolerate it.”
He took her mouth with a devastating kiss that stole her breath, and his hands moved to pull the towel away from her breasts. He pinched and rolled both nipples, and the small pain twisted right to her apex, arousing her. Haley kissed him back with all her heart, and she pushed her fingers through his hair to anchor him to her. She felt his knee push between her legs to separate them. The arousing feeling of having her legs spread by her dominant men never failed to surprise Haley. Her pussy moistened, and she quit thinking about how much control she had actually had over preventing the stabbing. She wanted Gordon to fuck her. She needed him, and tried not to feel selfish. One hand left her breasts and reached between them to help notch his cock at her entrance. He filled her in one thrust and Haley gasped at the invasion, her tender tissues stretching to accommodate him despite her wetness. It had been weeks without this, and it felt so good. Gordon made love to her despite his anger and tension. He was forceful yet gentle, and Haley rocked against him in the age-old dance of affirmation and joy. She climaxed after just a few strokes, with Gordon’s pelvis grinding against the hood of her clit and his cock digging at the special spot high inside her. He stroked hard and then held himself against her, his cum splashing into her womb, his craggy face tightening in ecstasy. He collapsed and then slid to the side, pulling her with him to hold her close, his cock still inside of her.
“No more apologies, Haley. Get some sleep before we go back to see Warren.”
Haley shut her eyes against his dictum. She would cherish this, just lie among the rumpled linens, and soak up his heat. She would impress this on her memory.
Chapter Seven
Gordon eased out of bed, although he was certain that Haley wasn’t sleeping. He hoped that he had shown her, impressed upon her how unnecessary her guilt was, but couldn’t think it would be that easy. He suspected that Haley had nearly cracked under the strain of what happened in the restaurant. He quickly washed up and pulled a change of clothes from the walk-in closet, keeping an eye on Haley as he did so. At least she was resting. Gordon didn’t think he would ever be able to see Haley kneeling again without being reminded of her self-subjugation in the hospital. He would give anything to turn back time and not put her through that. He wondered if she should see a therapist, and then shook his head. Somehow he could see a therapist wanting to shrink her head because she was in a relationship with two men. He and Warren
would get her past this thing. He tucked his shirttails into his pants and grabbed a pair of socks, then picked up the tray and all the spilled food before going down to the kitchen. He had just set everything down by the sink when the phone rang. He snatched it up before it could ring again and spoke his name.
“Mr. Sinclair? This is Laura from Global Travel. I’m just calling to let you know that there are several specials coming up if you care to reschedule your cancelled trip.”
Gordon hesitated. “I’ll have to get back to you on that, Laura,” he finally said. “One of our party isn’t well, and while a vacation will definitely be our plan in the future, I don’t have a definitive date.”
“That’s fine. I’ll wait to hear from you.”
Gordon clicked the phone off and stared out the window. Haley had covered some very real panic when he had proposed rebooking their vacation. It didn’t make any sense. He could understand that she felt guilty, as absurd as it was, but surely she would have welcomed time with them both to make amends if that was the case. No, something else was operating here. Once Warren came home, they would figure it out. He put the kettle on to boil and cut up some more cheese and set out some fresh crackers. The fruit had gone brown as well, so he peeled another pear and cut up an apple. Haley’s appetite had been poor over the past few days, and hopefully he could tempt her into eating a little. He made his way up the stairs to feed his sub.
* * * *
Haley sat up amongst the sheets and coverlet, her hair a mass of curls and tangles. Gordon smiled at the picture she made, all softness, curves and creamy flesh that contrasted with the darker colour of her nipples. He stole a kiss before he slipped a piece of fruit between her lips. His cock lurched to follow the succulent flesh. He fought back his arousal. This might be a good time to talk, with Haley more rested and sated. Her defences wouldn’t be so high.
“You look beautiful, Haley,” he offered. “I’ll brush your hair for you later. Even though it’s not as long as it used to be, you’ll never get those tangles out without help.”
Gordon wasn’t prepared for the flash of pain that passed over Haley’s features. What had he said?
“I’ll grow it out again,” Haley said. “I shouldn’t have cut it in the first place. Warren liked my hair long, and you preferred it, too.”
Gordon felt his temper surge. Enough was enough. Haley was never going to get a full belly at this rate, but he shoved the tray across the bed and hauled her to him, flipping her facedown across his lap, trapping her legs between his own. She gasped and made a garbled sound, but Gordon was done listening to her drivel. If she wanted punishment, then he was her man. He might not be able to treat her the way she was beating herself up, but he was going to give it the old college try. His hand came down on her buttocks with a force that made his palm sting, and Haley cried out.
“Count them out, sub,” he snarled. “You’ll take twenty for being such a little miss sad sack. And then we’ll talk. If you don’t give me an adequate explanation for your recent self-flagellation, I’ll start over. You can goddamn well stand or kneel for the rest of the week because you won’t be able to sit down.”
Haley choked out a faint “one,” and Gordon began to rain blows upon her curved ass cheeks. He laid them without a discernible pattern to cover every square inch and wished he had plugged her ass first so that the additional sensation would totally overwhelm the other feelings. The feelings that were making her a stranger. By the eleven count, Haley was crying with great, gulping sobs, even as her buttocks arched up into his swing, seeking his touch. Gordon increased the intensity, watching as her delicate flesh turned dark pink and then red. The heat from her skin was palpable, and Gordon paused to rub the palm of his hand gently in ever widening circles. He slipped his fingers between her parted thighs and whirled them through her thick juices. Haley had needed this, and he wondered how he had missed her cues. Hell, he had missed them because she’d been acting, pretending, and he refused to accept that woman. He noted that her shoulders had stopped shaking and that her sobs had diminished. He so wanted to pull her up into his arms and comfort her but intuitively knew that she wasn’t yet ready for that. Haley wasn’t ready to be forgiven despite the fact there was nothing to forgive.
Gordon lowered her to the floor and turned her, hiking her up onto her knees. He avoided looking at her face too closely, focussing instead on what she needed. He threaded one hand through her hair and pulled her head back. Haley hissed at the sting and opened her eyes. Her face was tear-stained, her little nose was red and running, and her eyes were swollen. Gordon ignored how his heart hitched and spoke roughly to cover his pain.
“Take me out, sub. Now.”
Haley’s hands slowly came up from her thighs, looking as though they were too heavy for her to lift. She reached for his zipper, fumbling to get the button open. Gordon decried the time it was taking but forced himself to wait. She finally unzipped him and carefully pulled his underwear down. His cock sprang free and into her mouth. Gordon could hardly get his breath. It was like her lips had a homing beacon on them. Haley sucked him deeper, swirling her tongue over the head and then flicking it down the vein on the underside. Her cheeks hollowed with her efforts, and Gordon wrapped his other hand in her hair and controlled her movements. He was rougher than he had ever been with her, but he knew that she didn’t want him to be gentle. He fucked her mouth, ignoring her efforts to please him. He took his own pleasure, knowing that her lips would be bruised and her jaw aching. When his balls drew up, he shoved to the back of Haley’s throat and poured his essence into her. She swallowed frantically as he pulled out. His strength drained, he somehow picked his woman up and held her close, claiming her mouth with his, all the while stroking her head with his free hand. Haley’s arms crept up and circled his neck as she relaxed against him. Gordon waited for his heart rate to slow and his head to clear before he spoke.
“Tell me what’s going on, Haley.”
* * * *
Haley shuddered and drew a deep breath. Her thinking seemed crystal clear. Gordon always seemed to know what to do. She would tell him her fears and hoped she would be strong enough.
“Haley. I’m not waiting any longer.” Gordon’s dark voice distracted her.
“It’s my fault that Warren nearly died,” she said flatly.
Gordon didn’t dispute her. He just asked why.
“Both of you have tried so hard. You have been open and honest with me about your intentions, what you want. And I know it’s what I want, too, but I wanted more. I wanted to have a life besides our relationship, a career. I didn’t think being your sub was enough. I was being so damn selfish and stubborn. You said it to that doctor. You were right.”
Haley put her fingers to Gordon’s mouth as he opened it to interject.
“No, Gordon, you asked. I’ll tell you. Please, hear me out. I didn’t think it would work. I feared that Warren would revert back to cold Warren and piss me off, and worse, break my heart again. So I told myself I couldn’t trust it and tried to distance myself. When you allied with him, I reacted instead of thinking it through and accepting that you both know more about what I need than I do myself. All you asked for was a chance, and I got scared. And then I waltz off to the job I put ahead of the two men I love more than life itself, and one of them nearly gets killed because of me.”
Haley stopped to gather the courage for her next statement. Gordon was going to react, and she needed to be ready. He was watching her intently, and she couldn’t read him. She had always been able to read Gordon. This wasn’t going to go well, but she had to tell him.
“When Warren is up and around and able to think about this without things being blurred by the medication he’s taking…” Haley felt the tears sting her eyes, and blinked hard. She was going to do this. Waiting was too hard even if she deserved it. She even failed at taking her self-imposed punishment, the waiting for the axe to fall.
“When he can think clearly,” she continued, “he’s goi
ng to see how much trouble I am, just as you will. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to make amends. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me to leave and trying to do what I can for you both in the meantime.”
Gordon didn’t respond. He just sat there and held her, and Haley wanted to scream. She wished he would act, say something, do something. Finally, he stood her on her feet and got up. He shook his head and then gave her a little push toward the bathroom.
“Clean up and get dressed. I want you ready to go within fifteen minutes.”
Haley’s vision blurred, but she made her feet move. The bathroom looked to be miles away, but she got there and woodenly washed her face and brushed her teeth. She wiped the evidence of Gordon’s earlier climax from between her legs and tossed the cloth into the laundry. Her hair was beyond repair, so she settled for pulling it up and clipping it out of the way. Gordon wasn’t in the bedroom when she went back to the closet, and Haley pulled a short-sleeved, loose shift dress from the rack. Her bottom hurt, so she found a pair of light cotton panties to step into and unearthed a matching bra. The dress covered her to just below the knee, and Haley eschewed stockings, toeing into a pair of flat shoes. She hadn’t unpacked the bag from the hospital, so it was simply a matter of slinging it over her shoulder and picking up her purse. She didn’t know where she was going to live, but she wouldn’t think about that right now. She just wanted to obey Gordon. She hurriedly yanked the bedclothes into some semblance of order with her free hand and then made her way downstairs. She forced herself not to think and pushed all her feelings down, down into a corner of herself so they wouldn’t get in her way. She was going to walk out with dignity and not cause Gordon any trouble. He was standing by the front door, his big frame rigid. His gaze raked her from head to toe. Haley saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but his face was like a stone. She made her lips curve up as much as she could but knew it was just a grimace.
True Perfection [Aspire 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 6