by Mari Carr
He smiled. “You have submissive qualities. And I’m certain that fact offends your feminist independent side. Being submissive doesn’t make you weak, Jayne.”
Too many conflicting needs reared their heads. She wanted Elias, wanted to sample what he was offering. But she’d spent too many years in a household where the man’s word was law. Her father had ruled the roost with a firm hand. Jayne had sworn she’d never live in anyone’s shadow—ignoring her own desires—simply to please a man the way her mother had. She had indeed seen weakness and she’d vowed she wouldn’t follow that path.
“I can’t give you more than one night.”
“Of course you can. But perhaps it would be wise to start small since you’re nervous.”
She was pressed against him intimately and wanted to tell him there was nothing “small” about what she felt lurking beneath his pants, but she let him continue.
“So we’ll place a number on it. How many times would you be willing to bend your will to mine in the bedroom?”
“One.” It was a lie. She was just being difficult.
Elias didn’t appear to take offense. “Ten.”
She shook her head. “Three.”
“Five nights,” he countered.
Jayne licked her lips. Elias was offering her a chance to explore her sexuality within the confines of a set time frame. She’d be a fool to refuse something she wanted so badly. Her attraction to him had grown so much over the past three years, it sometimes made her lightheaded with need. Her chest tightened with nerves and anticipation. Rather than speak, she merely nodded her assent.
“Your safe word is Scotch. If you’re uncomfortable with anything I ask you to do, simply say that and I’ll stop. At that point, we’ll discuss it before carrying on.”
“Scotch.” The word tasted better on her lips than the foul drink. She tried to restrain her schoolgirl giddiness. They were moving forward. She didn’t have a clue exactly where they were going, but she loved the way Elias looked at her, undressing her with his eyes. She felt desirable. Sexy.
“Take off your blouse. Slowly.”
She started to glance over her shoulder toward the street behind them. The blinds were drawn and they were hidden from view, but shyness crept in anyway.
Elias placed strong fingers on her chin. “No. Keep your eyes on me and do as I say. Let me worry about our surroundings.”
He was asking for her trust. Elias had spent years earning her faith in him. He’d offered her advice, support and friendship. He wouldn’t hurt her or let her down.
She nodded. “Okay.”
His eyes softened. “Your blouse.”
She lifted her hands, her fingers tackling the first button. They shook slightly but Elias didn’t appear to notice. Instead, his gaze remained steadfast on her actions and each inch of bare skin she slowly revealed.
When the last button slipped from its mooring, he helped her slide the cotton over her shoulders, dragging the shirt away, letting the material fall to the floor.
She resisted the urge to cover herself, forcing her hands to remain by her sides. Unfortunately, the heat of her embarrassment and unease inched higher. She was grateful for the darkness, hoping it hid her damn blushing. It was a lifelong curse of being an introvert, someone uncomfortable around strangers. While working at Books and Brew had helped her overcome that shyness a bit, too much still lingered.
The childish physical response made her feel silly. He’d been right to think her innocent.
Elias reached out and ran the backs of his fingers along the top edge of her bra. It was a delicate touch, but it took her breath away in its intensity. His gaze moved from her breasts to her face. “Take off your bra.”
Air seeped from her lungs as panic and excitement warred for supremacy. The moment was steeped in anticipation and fear of the unknown. How far did he intend to take things tonight? Would they have sex? Here? In the bar?
The past three years had crept by, every second lasting an eternity as she’d longed for this moment. Now that it was here, it was moving far too fast.
She must have hesitated too long. Elias’ eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly, impatiently.
The unspoken warning was enough. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Elias didn’t help. He expected her to bare herself to him. She’d never wanted to do anything more.
Or less.
With a hand holding the cups in place, she used the other to slide first one strap and then the second off her shoulders. Elias studied her progress.
Her heart raced as she slowly peeled the silky material away. This time, she was helpless to hold back her nervousness. She lifted her hands, covering herself.
Elias scowled. “No. Put your hands down.”
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her mouth dry. She hated her body. She didn’t think she was different from most women in that regard. She wasn’t pencil-thin. Her breasts were large and not the slightest bit perky. Most mornings she woke up and wondered where this lumpy woman had come from, constantly vowing today would be the day the diet started, the exercise regime was instituted. Then she’d succumb to the lure of a doughnut or a piece of pizza or McDonald’s French fries and the promise to lose weight was cast off, becoming one of tomorrow’s goals.
Her hands didn’t move. “I’m afraid I’m not—”
“Don’t.” The word was spoken too loudly, too harshly. Jayne jerked in response as Elias’ face darkened. “Don’t make a disparaging comment about your body, Jayne. Ever. Or you’ll learn firsthand how I correct subs who misbehave. And believe me, your safe word won’t save you in that regard.”
Sub? God. She knew his intentions, but she hadn’t thought through the implications, the vocabulary.
She was going to be Elias’ submissive. He would be her Master. As long as they kept it within the set time frame, she was fine with that. In fact, she wanted the experience so badly it hurt.
“Put your hands down.”
She responded without thought. Elias only had to use that deep voice, issue that strong command, and she reacted on instinct.
Submissive. He was right. Though she kept waiting to feel the pinch, the shoe fit. A little too well.
Elias wasted no time in exploring the flesh she’d uncovered. His eyes took in every imperfect inch as he touched her. She was uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. And aroused.
Please let him find me desirable.
She squeaked softly when he pinched one of her nipples. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Your body is responsive, sensitive.”
“I…” She hesitated, wondering how much she should reveal. Then she realized it was pointless to try to hide anything from Elias. “I haven’t had sex in nearly a year.”
And that last time had been nothing to write home about. It had been a very sad, very dry year on the sex front.
“Why so long?”
“I’ve been busy with Books and Brew.” It was true. She and her friends had vowed to give the business three solid years of hard work and long hours before they considered hiring extra help. They were approaching the end of that commitment and business was good. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
“That doesn’t appear to have been a problem for Stephanie, Jordan or Sophie.”
He was right. Her girlfriends had managed to do their jobs and find love. She suspected that was partly to blame for her recent melancholy. She was tired of being alone.
“Are we going to have sex tonight?” She felt stupid for asking the question. She was straddling his lap, topless, and his erection felt thick and hard against her, but she needed to know exactly where this was headed. Right now she was aroused, overwrought, confused and tired. It wasn’t a comfortable mix.
“I assume by sex you mean actual penetration.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded.
“Then no.”
She frowned. “We’re not?”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “We’re going to
play tonight, Jayne. Get to know one another a bit better, in a physical sense. If you enjoy what we do and you want to continue, then we’ll move to a more conducive setting for our other four nights together.”
“Aren’t we sort of wasting an opportunity?”
He shook his head. “No. When I take you for the first time, it’s going to happen in my bedroom and we’re going to have all night. You’re the one insisting on limits, but even so, we’re not going to rush this. We’re going to savor it.”
She sighed. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I was a nervous wreck when I thought we were going to have sex. Now that I know we’re not, I’m disappointed. And horny as hell.”
He chuckled. “I think I need to clarify something before we start.”
“What?”
“I’m reserving the right to convince you to make this more than an exploration, a short-term affair. I want more from you. A lot more.”
“How do you know? Shouldn’t you wait until you’re sure I don’t suck in bed?”
He didn’t smile. She wished he had. At least then she could pretend her words had been a joke and not serious.
Elias cleared his throat. “Stand up.”
Jayne rose slowly.
“It’s clear I’m giving you far too much time to think. Take off your pants and panties.”
Jayne’s body went numb. She still hadn’t adjusted to the loss of her shirt and bra. Now he expected her to stand in the middle of Books and Brew completely naked? He hadn’t shed a damn thing. Not even his lightweight jacket.
Elias stood in front of her. “We’re going to have to work on your response time. You spend far too long considering my commands. I understand this is new to you, but I’ve repeated myself for the last time. From this point forward, you will do as you’re told immediately or you will be punished. Do you understand?”
She nodded, squeezing her legs together tightly. Her body was reacting to his demands even though her mind couldn’t.
She released the button on her jeans and tugged the zipper down. Shimmying slowly, she pulled her pants and panties over her hips, toeing off her shoes at the last minute. She sucked in a deep breath and held it.
The compulsion to close her eyes was powerful, but Elias held her gaze, forced her to look at him through silent strength of will. Then he lifted his hand and twirled his finger, indicating that he wanted her to turn around.
She paused for only a second before recalling his threat to punish her. She spun, moving leisurely, knowing he wanted to look at her—all of her.
Her desire to hide diminished as he looked his fill. Suddenly she longed for him to see her. To know her. She’d never wanted that before, but now she craved it with a passion.
After completing her slow turn, she faced him once more but couldn’t force herself to look at him. Was he repulsed or attracted?
Fear caused her to lower her eyes, afraid of discovering the answer.
“Look at me, Jayne. Let me see those pretty blue eyes.”
She swallowed heavily at his command, but she knew she couldn’t—wouldn’t—refuse him.
She raised her gaze, captured his.
And the truth crashed down on her. She was in way over her head.
Chapter Two
Elias looked into Jayne’s light-blue eyes and his heart stuttered. He’d been a fool to think he could fight his attraction to this beauty forever. He’d noticed her the very first night he’d ventured into Books and Brew nearly three years earlier. In fact, she was the main reason he had returned. While the bar-slash-bookstore was a charming place to while away a few hours, it was the shy co-owner who captured his interest and kept him coming back.
There had been no denying Jayne was a submissive. He’d seen it in the demure way she lowered her eyes whenever he spoke. He couldn’t help but acknowledge how she often deferred to him in ways so small, no one but a true Dom would notice.
But notice he had.
Unfortunately, another hard truth had become obvious as he spent more time getting to know her. She was a serious danger to his well-ordered life. At forty-three, it was safe to say he was set in his ways. He enjoyed his solitude, the masculine comforts of his home, his freedom.
He wasn’t a stranger to affairs. He was a regular at a local sex club. He’d met and taken many subs there, spending hour after hour in sated bliss as he pushed them to their limits and beyond. And sometimes the playing would venture away from the club and into his home.
But he’d always drawn the line in the sand early, explaining that while he would share his body and his time, he wouldn’t offer his heart in any sort of lasting commitment. There had been plenty of women who willingly agreed to a no-strings relationship, content to offer their bodies if not their hearts. He was a single man who’d managed to have his cake and eat it too.
Then he met Jayne. A few nights in her presence confirmed she had the ability to shake his solid foundation and crumble his comfortable world to dust, despite the fact she was his polar opposite—a starry-eyed romantic. Once that realization hit, he’d vowed to keep his distance, swearing off his Books and Brew visits lest he give in to temptation.
The decision to stay away had fallen apart within days, and soon Elias found himself trapped in a weird version of self-flagellation as he endured years of look, but don’t touch. It was a torturous routine of his own making, and one he couldn’t find the strength to escape. So he’d limited his trips to Books and Brew to Thursday and Saturday nights, feeling ridiculously stoic about his ability to control his attraction.
He did a mental eye-roll at that thought. He was powerless when it came to Jayne. He’d actually chosen to visit the bar on Thursday nights because it was when Jayne held her Romantic Hearts book club meeting. At first, he’d been equal parts amused and disgusted by her doe-eyed views of romance and happily ever after. He thought her rose-colored comments would help him stay away.
Instead, as more time passed, he felt his jaded opinions wavering.
He had made excuse after excuse, thinking it would keep him safe from her, from this inevitability. He’d been wrong.
Jayne’s gaze held his, her eyes filled with fear and hope. He reached for her hands, lifting them to his lips. He pressed soft kisses to her knuckles, and her face softened as a bashful smile appeared.
“You take my breath away.”
She blinked twice and he noticed the sheen of tears in her eyes. When was the last time a man had complimented her? She deserved to be told how special she was every day.
An ache bloomed in his chest. Jayne was staring at him as if he were the dashing hero in one of her books—a pirate, a duke and a sheik all rolled into one. He wanted to be that man. If only he could break through her reticence. Something was clearly holding her back.
While she’d consented to only five nights, he knew that would never be enough time. He wanted to expose her to all the magnificence lingering just beneath the surface that she seemed oblivious to.
He released her hands, cupping her face and tipping it up to his. Her tongue darted out quickly as she wetted her lips. He watched the motion, spellbound. He seldom kissed women. In fact, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d really kissed someone. When had he last offered one of his lovers a long, deep, open-mouth kiss?
Jayne’s lush pink lips beckoned. He bent forward.
The moment their mouths connected, Elias gave up the fight.
He could always tighten the reins again tomorrow. Retreat. Regroup. Reevaluate how to proceed. For now, he’d sell his soul to the devil to remain here. Just like this. With her.
Jayne whimpered softly as he deepened the embrace. He twisted her head slightly so he could move closer. His tongue dipped inside, tasting the sweetness of the Kahlua on her breath. He left no part of her mouth unexplored. His fingers tangled in her soft honey-blonde hair. She was so much tinier than he, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder.
As they continued to kiss,
he lifted her, carrying her to a barstool. He placed her gently on the cool leather, the tall stool lifting her higher, making it easier for him to reach her lips.
He briefly broke their connection. “Open your legs.”
Jayne didn’t hesitate this time and he rewarded her obedience, pulling her face back to his for another hot, wet kiss. He stepped closer, restraining a groan when his covered cock brushed against her slit. It would be too easy to release his zipper, free his dick and push into her. He’d never wanted to fuck a woman more.
He sucked in a harsh breath. He needed to get control of himself. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned tonight would go. When he’d seen the sadness on her face as she’d wandered behind the bar earlier, he’d known all bets were off. He’d breached the distance, willing to do anything to wipe the loneliness from her eyes.
Elias had intended to only offer a small sample of the chemistry that raged between them. In his mind, as he watched her work, he had planned a brief sexual experiment where he introduced her to the submissive lingering beneath the surface, while maintaining control of his own desires.
So much for that. Now he was not only in danger of yanking off his pants and taking her with the finesse of a teenage boy with his first girlfriend, he was thinking about forever.
Time to get a grip.
He stepped away. Jayne’s fingers tightened against his forearms in protest. He gently shook them off. “No, Jayne. We need to take a minute.”
She frowned. “For what?”
“I need to explain to you how this evening’s going to proceed.”
She pressed her legs together, folding her hands neatly in her lap, and waited patiently. How had he resisted this—her—for so long?
“I’m not an easy man to be with. I’ll make demands. Hard ones. And I’ll expect you to obey me.”
She nodded, her face beautifully earnest and willing. “I understand that.”
No. She didn’t. “I told you to open your legs.”
Jayne didn’t move as quickly this time. His harsh tone left her uncertain. She was fighting her own nature. He read it in her face, in the stiffness of her body. Part of her longed to obey, but her beautiful, intelligent, politically correct mind told her it was wrong.