Caleb took up so much of her thoughts that she refused to wash the button shirt he wore at her cottage. She loved how much it smelled like him and had been wearing the shirt to bed every day since their date. She almost wore it that night with a pair of jeans, but she had to draw the line somewhere.
Unfortunately, thinking about him was all she could do lately because she hadn't seen him in days. He wasn't answering his phone and he hadn't come by since their date. Hannah was beginning to feel insecure about sleeping with him, despite how wonderful it was.
She thought they had feelings for each other, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe her mom and Pea had been right all along. Werewolves really only wanted one thing, and she gave that to him the last time she saw him. If it was true, she'd never see him again.
She reminded herself to have hope. Caleb had a lot of responsibilities. After all, he was Alpha. He might have gone after that coyote pack Renfield seemed so scared of.
Knowing she promised Caleb she wouldn't go into the woods made her feel more uneasy. She didn't like breaking her promise, but she needed to reach Rebekah, and using the full moon was going to be her best bet. Maybe if she had heard something from Caleb over the past few days things would've been different, but she hadn't so she needed to do what she had to–summon Rebekah. She didn't have a choice. There were only so many full moons.
As she sat in the almost completed circle, her cloak tucked under her, she reminded herself to focus on why she was there. She needed to contact Rebekah about the curse. Whatever Rebekah knew was key to anything Hannah had been able to figure out.
Sitting down on the cold, damp, grassy floor of the clearing, Hannah was just about to close the circle. So much had happened in the last few months that she didn't want to forget, and it was all because of Caleb.
Taking a deep breath, she picked up the final stone for her circle when her senses registered the fresh air and woody, musky scent of Caleb. She smiled softly as she put down the last stone without completing the circle and fought every urge within her to run over and be near him.
"I know you're there, Caleb," she said happily.
The leaves rustled and she turned to watch as a large grey wolf stepped out from the woods, his head hung low. Hannah felt sadness wash over her as the wolf came over and pushed his large head under her arm, forcing it around his neck, then rested his head on her lap.
"What's going on? Something happened. You have to tell me," she demanded.
With her hand buried deep into his thick silvery fur, his snout and ears shortened, his eyes turned to midnight blue, and lying naked in the moonlight was Caleb.
"I have to leave you. I've learned that my presence, any presence of a shifter, is bringing out your wolf spirit. Without me around, you'll revert to human and be safe from Hawthorn," he said.
"No! I don't care about being human! I only care about being with you. You can't do this to me," Hannah pleaded. "You can protect me."
"I can't always be here, Hannah," he said as he sat up. "The best way for me to protect you is by leaving you. Your scent is growing stronger. It's only a matter of time before you have the ability to fully shift. When that happens, the Hawthorn coyotes will track you down at whatever cost, putting your mother in danger as well. I can't do that. I love you too much to do that to you."
Caleb turned away. As he stood to go, Hannah clutched at his arm. "No!" she cried. "Please, don't go!"
"Leave the forest and never come back, Hannah," he growled. "Your father is one of the missing. They're getting close. You're safe if you remain human."
She couldn't let this happen. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to stop him. How could he do this? He didn't look at her. With her still holding onto him, tears running down her face, he quickly shifted back into a wolf and tore through the grass back into the woods.
Hannah reached for a stone and half-heartedly threw it at the running wolf before collapsing back to the ground sobbing. Everything hurt. Gasping for breath while her tears blinded her, she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort.
The rest of the stones surrounding her mocked her tears, laughed at her heartbreak. Wishing she was a stone, she stuffed down her pain, ignoring the emptiness in her chest where her heart used to beat for Caleb. It was gone, yanked from her chest and stomped on when she realized he said he loved her too much to stay.
He loved her, but he left her. I am a rock, she thought to herself as she headed home.
Chapter Fourteen
Hannah was grateful for the blue moon as she ran through the woods on the path to the clearing, her cloak billowing out behind her. She didn't care how many times Caleb had warned her of the danger. Danger meant even less to her since he wasn't around. In fact, she welcomed it. Maybe it would put her out of her misery. Meanwhile, Hannah had to get to the bottom of the curse, and the only person who could help her with that Rebekah Crane.
Running at full speed, not wanting to miss her window like last time, Hannah felt a sharp tug at her cloak and swung a fist as she spun around, only to find she was caught on a barberry bush.
"Dammit, Hannah," she muttered. "Get a hold of yourself."
***
"You haven't been yourself since..." Pinky's voice trailed off.
Hannah knew what her friend was going to say and was grateful that she didn't. As they sat on an old orange print couch at Pinky's house, sharing a double cheese, double pepperoni pizza, a Real Housewife whined about her latest plastic surgery mishap. They were both dressed in yoga pants and t-shirts, not because they planned to work out, but because they just wanted to be comfortable.
With her mouth full from her last bite, Hannah finished Pinky's sentence. "Since the last full moon. That's all I want to remember about it."
"Have you tried calling him?"
"Please, Pinky. The last thing I want to do is talk about him."
"I know but–"
"But nothing, okay?"
"No. Listen, Hannah. You know I know you better than anyone else. I mean we share a brain, right? So please just listen to me. You've never felt this way about anyone else before. I know you refuse to say it, but I really think you love him. How can you just let something like that go so easily?"
"Because I don't have a choice. He ended it, remember? Not me. And it's all because of this damned curse. I mean obviously I don't want people dying because some nut job is out there trying to find me so he can rule the wolves," Hannah said with a roll of her eyes, "but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even know what this curse is really about. Maybe I can charm wolves and I don't even know it."
"Have you ever tried?"
"No, why would I? I've tried to be charming, but not charm," Hannah grinned.
"Well, then you need to go back into the woods and call Mother Leeds."
"She's too removed from me. I need a full moon to make sure I'm strong enough to get her."
"Are you kidding me? Man, Hannah! You're one lousy witch."
"What are you talking about?"
"Look outside. I give you not only a full moon, but a blue moon, ta-da! If you can't call her under that moon, then just give up now."
Hannah looked outside the small window facing the street and was surprised with the amount of light. Not only was this a blue moon, but it was the largest moon she had ever seen.
"Thanks for pizza, Pinky. But–"
"Just go! But be careful out there!"
***
The clearing was just ahead. Slowing down, Hannah wondered if Caleb would show up again. She doubted it. Not unless she was in trouble, and that was the last reason she wanted to give him to show up.
Easily finding enough stones for a large circle, Hannah sat down and closed the circle as the moon reached the position she waited for. She closed her eyes and tried clearing her thoughts, but it was no use. She couldn't stop thinking about him.
Taking a deep breath, she started again. Shutting him out of her mind, she thought about the time Rebekah appeared, her pale
green dress with the apron and her red hair tucked into her white bonnet.
Feeling something unusual, like she wasn't alone, Hannah opened her eyes to find Rebekah standing there looking around in awe. I did it, she thought to herself happily.
"Is that a blue moon?" Rebekah asked.
"Yes, it is. I wanted to call you during the last full one, but..."
"You poor girl. He left you, didn't he?"
"How do you know?" Hannah asked, confused.
"Because you look just as miserable as I did when it happened to me."
"You mean when Jacob died?"
"Oh, no. Jacob could be sweet when he wanted to, but our marriage was one of convenience more than anything. I honestly think he kept me with child just to make sure I couldn't leave. It was a different time back then. Harsh and rough. A woman didn't have much say. I believe marriages like that are rare nowadays."
"Oh, you'd be surprised," Hannah said. "So, if you don't mind, who made you miserable?"
"A shifter. A werewolf to be precise. Possibly one of the firsts in the New World and my one and only love. Jacob was a drunk, but he was smart. He managed to get the deed to this land, where we are right now, as well as the cottage, but he was too busy drinking to care for it. I really didn't mind. It gave me something to do besides raise twelve children.
"Back then we had livestock, a couple of cows for milk, sheep for wool. Jacob didn't bother clearing all of the land. Just what's cleared today for the cottage, plus a little more."
"What about the clearing here in the woods?" Hannah asked.
"No, Jacob didn't do that. That was Luke, my love. Let me explain. My family has always believed in prayer and the gifts in nature. I heard of a woman in town who helped others protect their livestock. There was always danger from other animals, or even the neighbors who were very jealous. She recognized something in me and said she could teach me the wolf charm."
"You were a wolf charmer? I didn't think that was real."
Rebekah laughed. "Yes, it is real, just as real as you talking to me right now. There were plenty of wolves in the area, and we were keeping them fat with our sheep. So I cast the charm and used some wolves to protect my livestock from the others. I cared for these animals. I gave them food and water, even shelter in the barn when the weather was bad."
"But how did you meet Luke?"
"I didn't know anything about werewolves then. When I went out to cast my charm, I called any wolves in the area. I wasn't specific. One night, Luke was in wolf form and was one of the wolves I charmed. I heard the loud snap of a bear trap followed by the howling cry of a wolf. I ran out, worried that my charm had injured one of my wolves, and to my surprise, the wolf changed before my eyes into the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on.
"I brought him into the barn so Jacob wouldn't find him and I took care of him. But as I nursed him back to health, we got to know each other and fell in love."
"How did Jacob find out?" Hannah asked.
"It was my own fault. I wanted Luke to be near so I gave him this part of the land. I didn't think Jacob would care or even notice since he never cleared the trees. Luke made the clearing and built a small house. That path you follow on your way here was originally made by us from running back and forth between houses to spend whatever time we could with each other.
"But then one day, as luck would have it, I got pregnant. Jacob and I hadn't been together in a very long time and like I said, he was a drunk, not stupid. He cursed me."
"What was the curse?" Hannah asked, her heart beating quickly, the closer she got to finding out the truth.
"That I would wander the earth for the rest of my days, living and dead, alone. I'm earthbound. I cannot leave here. And I regret every day of my life and death that I didn't stand up to Jacob."
"What do you mean?"
"Jacob was...abusive," Rebekah said, her voice growing faint. "I was afraid of him but I couldn't leave the children. I wanted to take them with me to live with Luke, but Jacob was too smart. That's when he called me a witch and filed papers against me for the wolf charming. I was pregnant so they didn't put me in jail, but I was being watched closely. I couldn't see Luke or we would both be arrested for adultery. So I ended it with him. To protect him."
Hannah's eyes filled with tears, hearing the reason why Caleb also left her. She tried not to think about him, but it was impossible. He was the only thing she could think of. The only thing she wanted to think about. She never realized how empty her life had been before she met him.
"My biggest regret is never going after him. After the baby died, Jacob created a tale of the baby being a devil and flying away," Rebekah said, her voice catching. "He figured it went along well with his accusations of my being a witch. I was too defeated to fight. I closed myself off from everything and after Jacob's death, I felt so liberated but afraid that I didn't know what to do so I closed myself off from the world. I should've searched for Luke, but I didn't. I figured he was better off without me. Who wants a widow with a bunch of kids anyway?"
"I'm so sorry, Rebekah. That's so sad."
"No, what's sad is I could've changed it. Instead, I created my own hell and my own curse by letting Jacob rule me even after his death. And now, the curse will never be lifted. All these centuries of loneliness would've been worth just one more day with Luke."
Tears streamed down Hannah's face. She knew what she had to do. She refused to let herself die alone, brokenhearted and filled with regret like Rebekah. The man she loved was out there and his only reason for not being with her was her protection. To hell with that! She'd be damned if she let Caleb slip away from her. She could care less about curses or packs or anything else. The only thing she wanted was to be with him.
Chapter Fifteen
The most important thing Hannah learned the night she summoned Rebekah was that her hundreds of years of roaming the earth would have been easier if she had one more day with Luke. Hannah had enough of her own mistakes, she refused to copy someone else's.
After unlocking the padlock on the storage shed in the back yard, Hannah opened her grandmother's boxes as she searched for Pea's potion book. Pea never liked talking about it, but she was a highly skilled herbalist. It was a passion she cultivated with her own gardens and tried to teach to her daughter and granddaughter, but they lacked the patience needed to build a strong potion.
Sliding the third box out, she opened it to find mounds of scrap paper with notes and diagrams on them. Jackpot! Pea liked to call it an organized mess, but Hannah knew better. It was really just a mess. Hannah dragged the box over to a nearby lawn chair and sat down.
Hannah had an idea. She remembered how Pea was so obsessed with wanting the cottage to smell like baked goods that she created a scent potion. She didn't know if it would work on humans, specifically one transforming into a werewolf, but Hannah didn't feel she had any other options. Changing her scent to enter the forest was the best protection she could think of.
She didn't want to cause trouble, but she needed to talk to Caleb. Not expecting him to be on his houseboat, she knew the guaranteed place to find him was the forest. Part of her thought of risking it, of letting the coyotes track her, but she wasn't stupid enough to put herself in danger like that with just the hope that Caleb would save her.
After sorting through a third of the scraps of paper, Hannah finally found the potion she was looking for written on an index card. She tossed all the paper back into the box, dragged the large box back to the shed, and padlocked the door once again.
Scanning the ingredient list, Hannah recognized the some of the herbs in Pea's garden. Luckily none of them were poisonous, but that didn't mean much. Simply combining two nonpoisonous plants didn't mean the result wouldn't be deadly. Either way, the potion would taste like crap. She wondered if it would work cosmetically.
Easily grabbing the herbs she needed, she brought them into the cottage. Happy to have the place to herself while her mom ran errands, she followed the
recipe to the letter. She didn't want to waste time with careless mistakes. Experimenting with a small dose brushed on the windowsill, the house suddenly smelled like freshly baked bread.
Used correctly, the scent potion only lasted a day. She had no idea how long it would last on a person. Especially one whose werewolf scent was growing stronger.
Pouring the elixir into a shot glass, she admired its deep green color. Taking a sniff, she was surprised it didn't have a scent. As she caught her reflection in the window, she noticed her hair.
Pea always hounded her to cut it. The last time she saw her, she said it was the source of her scent. If that was true, she didn't have to drink the potion, she could just cover her hair with it.
Pouring the contents of the shot glass into her palm, Hannah worried if she had enough. She decided to start at the top and go down to the ends. If she ran out of the potion, then she would cut off the rest of her hair. Getting to the woods and talking to Caleb was more important than her stupid hair.
Somehow she had enough of the elixir, and when she sniffed her hair, it smelled like bread also. She had to be safe. But if something happened, at least she could say she tried.
Changing into a pair of dark blue jeans, her old brown leather boots, and her lucky blue chenille sweater, she then put on her cloak and ran towards the grassy path that cut through the woods. The moon had begun to wane but she didn't need the light, Hannah knew that for her to find Caleb, she would have to rely on the senses of her burgeoning wolf spirit.
Hearing a noise up ahead, she stopped. A man called out to another, then footsteps. Hunters? Reorienting herself based on the moon in the sky, she realized she wasn't far from the clearing. Quietly, she made her way there. A large pick up truck, its lights on and motor running, sat by the tree line not far from her. She didn't see the men but sensed other wolves close by.
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