by Jillian Neal
“I’ll be outside.”
Jamie snuck back into the bedroom. The sight of Charlie peacefully sleeping with her long auburn hair painted out across his pillow took his breath away. The sheets had shifted when he’d gotten up, and as his eyes traveled over her lush lips slightly opened and her delicate neck, he couldn’t help but stare. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. Hurt that he’d failed her. Hurt that she didn’t think she was worth trying to work through whatever held her back from fully being with him. Hurt that he doubted his own ability to convince her that they could have a future together.
His hands tingled to touch the soft skin of her face, but he didn’t want to wake her. He also didn’t want to leave her, but he’d told the Camdens if they needed anything he was their man, and he never went back on his word. Grabbing a new pair of Wranglers and one of the T-shirts he’d gotten the day before, he turned to dress in the living room. Something caught his eye as he edged away from the bed. The T-shirt she’d slept in had ridden up just a little creating a gap of fabric. The sheets covered her lower half, but a band of moonlight from the blinds illuminated her side, a part of her she hadn’t allowed him to see the night before.
The skin was puckered and disfigured at the bottom of her ribcage. It curved in oddly from obvious muscle damage. The scarring climbed underneath the cover of the shirt. He had no idea where it ended. His heart fractured. Did she really think that he would judge her because she’d obviously been burned? My god, he was a firefighter. But the pain she had to have lived through swelled in his throat until he could barely breathe. She’d never told him.
A few pieces of the puzzle he’d been obsessing over most of the night locked into place. Maybe if he could convince her that there was no amount of scarring on her body that would change how he felt about her, he could prove to her that the orgasm issue could be fixed. He needed her to trust him with everything. Just like always, Jamie’s head leapt ten steps ahead of what was going on. It was part of what made him a good firefighter. He could assess every potential outcome and create solutions to problems that might occur. And if he could prove himself to her, prove that they could work through this together, well then that was a big step toward getting her to give them a chance. Potential pulsed through his veins. He just had to figure out exactly how to go about this. And that left him drawing a blank.
He dug through the kitchen drawers until he found a stack of notepads under some candles and a lighter. He debated exactly what to tell her. He made a quick note that there had been a cattle truck accident and that Colt needed his help. He promised to be back as quickly as he could but told her that moving the cows could take all morning. He didn’t want her to worry, so he made absolutely no mention of the potential fire. “When I get back, we need to talk,” was his parting line. Calling himself a pussy for good measure, he scrawled a lopsided heart at the bottom and scribbled his initials, not that she’d doubt who’d written the note. It was more out of habit than anything else.
He heard the chug of Colt’s truck motor outside and slipped out of the house. He grabbed his equipment bag from his own truck before climbing in his cousins.
“I’m sorry about this,” was Colt’s greeting.
“Day in the life,” Jamie assured him.
“Yeah, I know, but you’re supposed to be getting down and dirty with Charlie finally, and I got you out of bed. If you tell any of your brothers I didn’t leave you be, they’ll skin me. Aunt Sara, too, for that matter. I feel bad it was our bulls that caused this is all.”
Jamie grunted instead of commenting, since he didn’t have anything to say to that.
“Avery made coffee,” Colt gestured to a travel mug in the cupholder nearest Jamie.
He helped himself. “Tell her I’m much obliged. You got yourself a good one.”
Colt grinned at that as he pressed the accelerator harder. “I do, but you do too. Just gotta convince her of that, right?”
“Something like that. Not gonna be easy.”
“You think? Seemed to me that you never struggled to talk women into your bed.”
Hiding his eye roll, Jamie shrugged. “Don’t just want her in my bed. There’s a lot more to this than that.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“How many head were on those trucks?” Changing topics really was the only way out. The uncertainty and the determination were coiled much too close to the surface, and he refused to discuss what had happened last night with anyone. Partly because that seemed like it would be disrespectful to Charlie, but also because he didn’t really want to admit to anyone that he’d failed.
“I got no idea and I need to stop thinking about it, so indulge me. I might could help.”
“How you figure?”
“I talked Avery into giving me a shot. Two babies and a bunch of years later it seems like I might know a thing or two about women that could help. Plus, I owe you.”
“How you figure that?” Jamie genuinely wanted an answer to that question. Colt didn’t owe him anything. He’d always been a Holder through and through. He’d never let them down as far as Jamie was concerned.
“You bailed me outta jail twice for fighting, talked the cops out of arresting me a third time, and that’s just the beginning,” Colt reminded him.
“Yeah, but it was Avery who got you sorted, not me. Besides, you gave me a place to bring Charlie, so we’re even.”
“We’re not even by a mile. Come on. What’s your game plan for this? I know you have one.”
The truck bounced over the flat lands surrounding them as Colt veered off the gravel road and took to the grass, trying to save time, Jamie assumed.
If there was one thing he knew about his cousin, it was that once the boy had hold of something he never let go. Maybe it was that knowledge or the fact that he still didn’t really have a plan that made him consider talking. That coupled with the exhaustion made him uneasy, so he decided to test the waters with Colt. Maybe he really could help.
“Things didn’t go that great last night. I may’ve fucked everything up.”
“What’d you do? It can’t be that bad. She looks at you like you hung the fucking moon for her.”
“Never say that to her, okay? She’s not like other girls. She hates the moon.”
That brought Colt up short, and Jamie was thankful for the reprieve in talking. But the silence didn’t last long. “That still don’t tell me what you did. I can’t get you out of what I don’t know you’re in.”
Jamie shifted uncomfortably and pretended to stare out the window. The smell of diesel permeated the air blowing through the AC in the truck. That wasn’t good.
Colt huffed, “Fine, you don’t want my help, I won’t help. I could give Uncle Barrett a call and tell him you’re struggling. Maybe Uncle Gentry, God knows the man’s got advice for every situation.”
Thoughts of either his father or one of his uncles knowing that he was struggling drew the confession from Jamie’s lungs. “I left her wanting last night.”
Colt nodded and sported a half smirk. “Give yourself a break, man. You’ve been dreaming about getting with her for decades. You just got a little ahead of yourself. She’ll let you make it up to her I’m sure. That ain’t so much a problem as an apology.”
“Yeah, I did that already. There’s more to it than that.” He clamped his mouth shut, not certain what Charlie would think of him saying much more.
“Hey, I know how you feel. Avery struggled a lot after our first was born. I felt like a failure. She was frustrated and scared. It was bad for a few weeks. I had to—”
Jumping on that before Colt even finished his sentence, Jamie was suddenly grateful his cousin had been outright nosy. “What’d you do? How’d you fix it?”
“I was getting to that,” he chuckled. “I talked to Dec.”
“Who the hell is Dec?”
“Holly’s husband.”
Jamie rolled his eyes again, this time letting his cousin see. “Which makes my next question fa
irly obvious.”
“Holly is one of the Camden kids. The youngest as a matter of fact. Her husband used to be a sex therapist. Now, she is as well. They do that and handle addiction counseling and any other kind of thing that comes up around here. Guy’s a genius. Not a great cowboy, but he’s decent. Never tell him I said that. We can’t be all things to all people. But if you ask me, he’s better behind a desk than on a horse.”
“What’d he tell you to do?”
“It was kinda specific to Avery, and I’m not going into that. But you can talk to him.”
“I don’t know how Charlie would feel about me doing that. I don’t want to piss her off.”
Another smirk formed on Colt’s features. “Seems to me you doing a little talking might make her feel real, real good, wouldn’t it?”
He had to give his cousin that, but this situation felt like it was spinning rapidly out of his control.
They pulled up on a gruesome scene. Jamie expected and then accepted the sucker punch that always came when he assessed a scene. Two good bulls lay on the ground that he already knew were likely going to have to be put out of their misery. One of the Camden brothers was down on his knees making an effort to save them it seemed.
The trucks were a mangled disaster of metal, and fuel drenched the road and ran off to the prairie land nearby. It was going to be a long ass day.
He flung himself out of the truck and into action. All of the Camden brothers looked to him for direction, and he was going to get the job done. “Get sand on the fuel as fast as you can. Once it soaks it up we can shovel it away. One of you keep an extinguisher ready for that engine. If it hisses, hit it. Two of you get back in your trucks, go a mile down the road each way, and block traffic until the state police get here. I’ve got bolt cutters. Let me get the doors off, but as soon as they’re open we’re likely to get run down by cattle. So the rest of you get ready to rope and ride. Decide where there’s a field big enough to drive ‘em to and keep ‘em there.”
A man stepped up. Jamie recognized the burns on his neck that came from seatbelts. He had to be one of the drivers. “I called and they’re sending out more trucks but they won’t be here ‘fore nightfall.” Guy had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth but had been smoking long enough that when he spoke with it perched between his lips he was still able to be understood.
Colt leapt. “You maybe wanna get rid of that? We’re not looking to set the whole damn town on fire.”
Jamie shook his head. “You could put a butt out in diesel and it still won’t ignite. Too wet. Just keep it the hell away from that engine.”
There was a guy in a Styx T-shirt and black jeans. The tattoos covering one arm set him apart from the crowd of cattle ranchers. Jamie wondered if that was Dec.
Chapter Fifteen
A grin spread the width of Charlie’s cheeks when she awoke. Leaving her eyes closed, she relished the rubbed sensation between her legs. If she just never opened her eyes or never got out of bed, maybe she could go on existing in that moment of bliss. She wouldn’t have to deal with whatever was going to come of their escapades the night before.
It took her mind a few minutes to remember the conversation after the sex. Ugh. Jamie would never let the orgasm thing go. She knew. She’d just have to assure him that it wasn’t a big deal, that being close to him, seeing him enjoy her was more than enough. No one had ever made her feel the way she felt last night. And that’s exactly what she would open with this morning.
Sliding her hands across the cool sheets, she continued to keep her eyes closed. She wanted to indulge her senses in him. But when she found his side of the bed empty, her eyes flashed open and disappointment tamped down a little of her outstanding mood.
It was still pretty early. Where was he? Easing from the bed, she noted the twinge between her legs as she whisked to the bathroom. Yep, definitely needed to make certain that he knew she’d enjoyed every single thing he’d given her last night. As long as nothing had changed between them, this was all going to be fine.
She ignored the twist in her stomach that seemed to argue otherwise.
After she’d slipped into a new pair of jeans, she went through the process of breaking them in. Several deep knee bends and a few butt wiggles and then she finally got them buttoned.
Heading into the living room to locate coffee and, more importantly, Jamie, she came up empty on both. On her way to the coffee maker, she located a note he’d left behind. Her face fell. What if the driver was hurt? And surely the cows would be. He should’ve woken her up so she could help. She didn’t know much about the muscle and skeletal structures or injury recovery for cattle, but she’d figure it out. Adapting for patients was a part of her job.
She had no idea how to find Jamie so she texted him. “If you need some help, let me know.” Certain he was busy, she switched her sound on and started finding everything she’d need for coffee. If she could figure out where he was exactly, she could take Jamie some and something to eat. He was probably starving.
To pass the time, she Googled muscular and skeletal information on bovine. A knock on the door had her rushing to see who it was. Maybe they did need help and had sent one of the Camdens to fetch her.
When she opened the doors, she found Jessie Camden and another woman she’d never met.
“This is my daughter-in-law, Katy. We thought we’d come see if we could keep you company while Jamie’s helping out down at the wreck,” Jessie explained.
“Oh, thank you. That’s so kind, but I might be able to help if you can tell me how to get to wherever he is. I was just studying the myology of cows and it’s not much different than humans really. If any of them got hurt, I might could work with them if they’ll let me. I think I’ve come up with a way we could splint their legs if any of them are broken that would keep them standing but not continuing to damage the bone.”
Both of the women beamed at her. Charlie noted that Katy’s belly was adorably round with a baby. A twinge of jealousy tugged at the corners of her mouth.
Jessie shook her head. “Ev says they’ve got it down to a system now following Jamie’s instructions. Luke’s a vet and I think he’s dealing with the injured ones, but he says we’re gonna lose one of the bulls. I don’t think anything can be done to help. Would you mind if we came in?”
“Of course not.” Charlie felt odd welcoming the women into a home that was technically theirs, but she was certain Katy probably wanted to sit down.
“I brought you a loaf of banana bread and a casserole,” Katy commented as she set the food on the counter.
“Thank you so much. You don’t have to do that.”
Katy gave her another kind grin. “I don’t mind. I love to cook, and,” she blushed as a sheepish look glimmered in her eyes.
“And what?”
“Well, I’ve never met anyone else who ran out on their wedding, so I feel like we might be kindred spirits or something.” She wrinkled her nose. “Please don’t think I’m weird. Grant said you were gonna think I was crazy.”
Charlie chuckled at that. “I don’t think you’re weird or crazy, and I read Anne of Green Gables like a dozen times when I was in the burn unit. I always wished I had a kindred spirit.” She cringed. She never talked about those long months and didn’t understand how it had come out all of a sudden. “I, uh, used to think I was more Diana than Anne, though. I don’t think I have quite that much spunk. Um…I take it you left your wedding too? I’m assuming the one before Grant.” She gestured to Katy’s belly and prayed that they wouldn’t ask questions about the burn unit. “Can I make you both some coffee?”
Katy had a kind laugh. She settled in one of the living room chairs. Charlie was thankful to have something to focus on besides the fireplace. “It was the one before Grant, and I’d love some, but I’ve already had my allotment for the day.”
Jessie located a mug in one of the kitchen cabinets. “I’ll drink Katy’s for her.” She winked at Charlie.
“I’ll help,�
�� Charlie beamed. “What made you run?” She was being nosy but she couldn’t help herself.
“I found out he was cheating on me with one of my closest friends about five minutes before I walked down the aisle.”
Charlie’s mouth gaped open. “That’s terrible. You had every right to run.”
Katy wrinkled her nose. “I also keyed his car on my way out so that might not have been my finest moment, but it all got me here so I’m not complaining.”
Charlie liked Katy. Definitely kindred spirit material. “Yeah, well, I got tangled in my dress climbing down the church, so it wasn’t my finest hour either.”
Jessie shook her head at both of them. “You’re both on my ranch now and that’s right where you’re supposed to be. You didn’t run into Jamie’s truck with your getaway car, too, now did you?”
Charlie cringed at Katy. Poor girl really had been having a rough day. “No. Jamie’s been my best friend since we were kids. He’s always been the one to run away with me whenever I wanted to. He’s the best.”
Katy and her mother-in-law shared a conspiratorial glance. Katy managed to scoot a little closer to Charlie. “If he’s the best, then why weren’t you marrying him?”
Shocked at that question, Charlie shook her head. “I could never…I mean…he wouldn’t want to…I’m not the kind of girl he likes…plus he’s a firefighter and I…well, I mean I couldn’t…I would be too…” she sealed her lips shut and clenched her teeth tight around them to keep any more words from escaping.
Jessie raised one eyebrow. “Honey, I saw the way he was looking at you last night. You aren’t the kind of girl he likes, you are the girl he likes.”
“No. I’m really not. It’s just that we’ve been friends for so long. We love each other in a friendly kind of way. Nothing more.” Except the night before had been a whole lot more. She wasn’t going to tell Jessie Camden that, however.
“There’s definitely more,” Jessie corrected her. “Now, go back to the firefighter part. There’s enough meat in that statement that we could have ourselves a barbecue.”