The honesty and openness on Cole’s face was almost irresistible. For a moment Bri wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him, and give him the chance he was asking for. She was so tired of fighting her feelings for him. Yes, she definitely still had feelings for him. She had tried to bury them, convince herself that they didn’t exist, but they had never gone away. Now, Bri realized that they had been slowly edging their way back to the surface for the past few weeks. A very large part of her wanted to give those feelings a chance, as she looked at him longingly.
“Please, Bri,” he begged, stroking her cheek lightly.
Bri dropped her gaze and took a deep breath. It was all too much, too overwhelming. This just wasn’t something she could do right now. She took a moment to compose herself, before meeting Cole’s eyes. When he saw the expression on her face, he dropped his hand.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Cole,” she sighed. “I’m not sure what it is you want from me, and I’m really not sure I can give it to you.”
He watched her impassively. He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. Bri bent down and grabbed her bag.
“I’m going to go now. I’m sorry, but I need some time. I just... I can’t do this right now.” She shook her head. “Goodbye, Cole.”
As Bri walked past him, Cole reached out and grabbed her arm, turning her back towards him.
“Damn it, Bri,” he growled. “Don’t do this again.”
“Do what?” She tried to shrug out of his grip, but he just pulled her closer.
“You know what! You’re shutting me out again! Every time we start to get close, you get scared, and you push me away. But I’m not letting you get away with it anymore.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she protested angrily, her heart beginning to pound. “I’m not doing anything!”
“Yes, you are!” he yelled. He was angry and frustrated and desperate, and she could see it on his face. “You keep everyone at a distance, especially me. You never let anybody get close enough to penetrate that huge wall you’ve built up around your heart. You refuse to let yourself be vulnerable in any way.”
“No, I don’t! I...”
“Yes, you do! You never talk about yourself, about how you feel or what you think. You never talk about your mom, or even your life before you moved here. Whenever I ask you about anything remotely personal, you totally brush me off! You won’t even tell me about your tattoo, for crying out loud! I know you feel something for me, but you’re so freaking stubborn, you refuse to even acknowledge it. You refuse to open yourself up, to take risks of any kind! No, you’d rather sit in your safe little bubble, where you don’t have to feel anything. Where you can hide from anything that even has the potential to cause you pain. But the sad thing is that by hiding, by letting fear control your life, you miss out on the things that make life worth living.”
Bri gaped, hurt by his accusations, and also by his perceptiveness. But then her temper flared, putting her back on the defensive, and she was overwhelmed by the desire to hurt him back. But more than that, she wanted to show Cole that she saw through all of his crap, too.
“How dare you!” she seethed, finally pulling out of Cole’s grip. “How dare you stand there and accuse me of hiding, of being afraid! You are so afraid of disappointing everyone, that you can’t even be yourself! You purposely surround yourself with the most self-centered, shallow, obtuse people you can, because you know that they won’t look any deeper than what they see on the surface. You date girls you know are incapable of caring about anyone but themselves, so you won’t have to open up and share anything with them. You say I’m hiding? You are the one who’s hiding. You’re the one who’s afraid.” Bri took a deep breath, as something she’d been puzzling over finally fit into place.
“That’s why you’ve avoided real relationships. All of your emotions are superficial. You only feel the easy, uncomplicated emotions. Then, when the infatuation has passed, or the possibility of you feeling something deeper for someone comes up, you bail. You end it before things get complicated and messy. Hell, are you even capable of feeling anything deeper than infatuation or lust? And you wonder why I’m so cautious? You wonder why I don’t fall all over you, like all the other girls do? Yes, I may keep people at a distance, and I may be protective of my heart, but it’s because of guys like you. Guys who are only after whatever they can get out of you, without having to give or risk anything themselves. I may try to avoid it, but at least I do feel things, deeply. You, Cole, you don’t feel anything.”
Bri pushed past him, and stormed out of the now empty house, needing to get as far away from him as possible. Seeing Cole’s motorcycle parked in the driveway brought her to an abrupt halt. She’d forgotten that he was her ride home.
“Ugh, stupid motorcycle!” she yelled, her anger surging. She decided she’d call Layla in a minute to come pick her up, but right now she needed to put some distance between her and Cole. She made it to the end of the driveway before a strong hand grabbed her arm and spun her around. Cole grabbed both of her arms and pulled her close.
“You’re not getting off that easy, Bri.” He forced her eyes to meet his. “I care about you, and I’m not letting you push me away anymore. I’m fighting for you, for us. Because, though you may not think I’m capable of it, I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for anyone before. Feelings that are anything but superficial. And I can prove it.”
Without warning, Cole pulled her in and crushed his lips to hers, almost angrily. Bri was so surprised that she couldn’t move for a second. Then, utterly insulted, she jerked back, breaking out of his grip. She eyed him, outraged.
“That doesn’t prove anything,” her anger and venom dripping from each word. She tried to turn away, but Cole caught her and pulled her in again.
“I wasn’t finished,” he whispered, and kissed her again.
This kiss, though, took Bri’s breath away, decimating her resistance. There was no anger or frustration, just a deep, almost desperate need. It overwhelmed her. Cole’s arms circled her, his hand cupping the back of her head, holding her gently. He kissed her with a tenderness and intensity that had her trembling. He poured out all of his longing, need, and desire into that one gentle kiss.
And suddenly, something unlocked inside her, and everything changed. It was as if the world had shifted, and Bri knew it would never be the same. There was no fighting it anymore.
She felt herself crumble beneath the weight of Cole’s emotion, and her own emotions rose to meet his. His hands moved up to cup her cheeks, and the defenses Bri had so carefully constructed to keep him out, crumbled. With a delicious shiver, she stopped fighting and gave in.
She moved to deepen the kiss, and felt Cole’s joy as he responded, eagerly but still gently. Bri arms wound around him and pulled him tighter to her. She poured out everything inside her, as she kissed him desperately. It was like she was drowning, and Cole was the oxygen she couldn’t live without. It was the most wonderful, exhilarating, terrifying experience of her life, and she was reveling in it.
A car drove past them, and she jumped back startled. She had completely forgotten where they were, making out on the side of the road where anyone could see them. She giggled nervously as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
Cole looked up and down the street. “Um, would you like to come back inside?” He gave her a half smile.
“Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea.” Bri took Cole’s outstretched hand and let him lead her back to the house. Awed, she couldn’t stop staring at him as they walked. He somehow looked different to her. Everything seemed different, better. She’d always been attracted to him, though she’d tried to deny it, but now she let herself fully appreciate how irresistible he really was.
Cole let her in and closed the door behind him. He stood there, hands in his pockets, looking like he wasn’t sure what to do next. His uncertainty melted Bri’s heart.
“So
, I guess this means we should probably talk,” he smiled sheepishly.
“Probably.” Her eyes travelled over Cole’s body, and her pulse picked up. “But, is there any way you’d be willing to postpone the talking for a little bit?”
“Have something better in mind?” Cole’s eyes darkened with desire.
“I have an idea or two,” she whispered.
Then suddenly, as if a signal passed between them, Bri and Cole rushed towards each other, their bodies and lips colliding.
This kiss was nothing like the emotional, tender kiss outside. This kiss was a hot, raging inferno. This was months and months of repressed desire finally given the freedom it had longed for. There was nothing soft or delicate about the way Cole kissed her, and there was no hesitation on Bri’s part as she matched his intensity. Cole’s tongue found hers, and proceeded to do things that made her knees weak.
He effortlessly lifted her, and never breaking their kiss, skillfully and smoothly maneuvered them onto the couch. His hands grabbed her hips, pulling her closer. Her fingers swam through his soft, dark hair, as they’d been itching to do since she’d met him, trying to pull him as close as she could. But it wasn’t close enough. She needed more of him.
As if sensing her thoughts, Cole laid her back on the couch and covered her with his body. Bri reveled in the feel of his warm, hard chest pressed against hers, their intertwined legs, the way they seemed to fit together perfectly. Their kissing intensified, neither of them wanting to let up. Cole’s fingers tangled in her hair, and Bri’s dug into his back, holding him tightly, determined never to let go. They kissed each other hungrily, until Bri thought she’d pass out from lack of oxygen. Heart pounding, she pulled back slightly, finally breaking the kiss.
“Okay,” she panted, “maybe we’d better get to the talking now.” At Cole’s dubious expression, she continued. “If you keep kissing me like that, you’re going to put me into a coma or something.”
“I’m not the one with the lethal mouth, baby,” he smiled down at her. “I don’t know who taught you how to kiss like that, but I’m torn between hunting him down and killing him, or sending him a thank-you fruit basket!
Bri laughed, and felt the echoing rumble in Cole’s chest as he joined her. Feeling suddenly shy, she dropped her gaze.
“I’ve never kissed anyone like that before,” she admitted quietly, unable to stop the flush in her cheeks. “Just you.” She chanced a glance up at Cole through her lashes, hoping he understood what she meant, and that she didn’t sound like an idiot.
He was watching her intently. He lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.
“I’ve never kissed anyone like that, either,” her replied before lowering his lips to hers again.
Bri’s heart sang as she lost herself in his kisses. After a few minutes though, she pushed him back again.
“No, we can’t start that again.” She had her hands pressed against his chest, and she could feel Cole’s heart pounding beneath her palm, dangerously weakening her resolve. “I don’t think I could stop you again, and there are some things we should probably talk about.” She tried to look and sound stern, but figured it was less than effective when she was staring longingly at Cole’s mouth. A smug grin turned up those sexy-as-hell lips, and snapped her out of her trance. “Stop that,” she swatted at him, trying to sit up. He held her pinned beneath him.
“Is that what you want to do right now? Talk?” He smiled at her devilishly before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Because what I want to do is much more fun,” he purred before nibbling her earlobe.
A soft moan escaped her, and Bri knew her willpower wouldn’t last much longer.
“No,” she groaned, honestly, “it’s not what I want to do. But it’s what we need to do.”
Cole dropped his head onto her shoulder, and Bri let out a sigh of relief, and disappointment, as he sat up, pulling her with him. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table, and snuggled Bri up against his side.
“Okay, Ambria,” his arm wrapped around her, and he tucked her head under his chin. “What do we need to talk about?”
Bri listened to his heart beat for a few seconds before she gathered up the courage to ask quietly, “What does this mean? For us?”
Cole let out a long breath. “Wow, Bri, way to put me on the spot. I’ve already told you how I feel about you, but you have yet to return the favor. I can’t answer that yet, not until I know how you feel.”
She nodded against his chest. Cole was right. It wasn’t fair of her to make him define their relationship, especially when he didn’t know if she even felt the same way. Taking a deep breath, she decided it was time to do the most frightening thing she could think of... be honest with Cole, and tell him how she felt about him.
“You are all I think about, too,” she admitted quietly, immensely grateful he couldn’t see her face. “Ever since the first day we met. Even when I was angry at you, and trying to ignore you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, that I didn’t really feel anything for you. But deep down I always knew better. I like you, Cole. I care about you. You make me laugh, and when I’m around you I’m happier than I can remember being in a long time. The more I get to know you, the more I want to know. And you’re sexy as hell. It’s like I can’t get enough of you. And as much as I don’t like it, as much as I’ve tried to fight it, you consume me.” Wow, she hadn’t meant to be that honest, but there it was. Once she started, the words seemed to just pour out of her. She couldn’t look at Cole, she was way too embarrassed, but she was glad that it was finally all out in the open. “I think I’m finally ready to stop fighting and take a chance on you. I want to give us a chance.”
Cole sat quietly for a few moments. Bri held her breath, waiting for his reaction. She was too nervous to chance a look at him, to see what he might be thinking. So she sat, her heart pounding, waiting for him to respond. She felt him release a huge breath, and she almost sighed in relief when his arms tightened around her.
“I have to admit,” he kissed the top of her head, “I never thought I’d ever hear you say that.” He let out a sigh. “I want to give us a chance, too, more than anything. But I’m worried things are too complicated for us to work.”
Bri nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. “Are you talking about Serena?” She picked the most obvious of the complications.
“I still don’t want to give her an excuse to ruin your life,” he exhaled sadly. “I broke it off with Serena because I knew that us being together was hurting you, and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. But the fact is, she doesn’t want me to be with anyone except her. I want to protect you. I don’t want to expose you to the kind of rumors and attacks I know Serena will launch at you.”
“So, what, you’re going to let Serena dictate what we do?” She sat up to face him. “How is that fair to me? To us?”
“See, this is why I’m afraid things won’t work between us.” Cole shook his head, frustrated. “I know this isn’t fair to you, but I’m asking you to trust me on this. Dating me comes with some complications, one of which being a very jealous, very territorial ex who can be downright vicious when she wants to be. If that’s too much for you, I’ll understand. But if you want me, you have to take all of me,” he finished quietly.
Bri thought about that for a moment.
“So, what is it you’re asking of me? What is it you want me to do?”
“I just want us to keep things quiet for a while, that’s all. We don’t have to keep our relationship secret forever, just a few weeks until I can get Serena used to the fact that I’ve moved on.”
“And what exactly would our relationship be?” she asked softly.
“I want you. I want to be with you. You’re it for me. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and more. You’ve ruined me, Bri.” He looked deep into her eyes. “There will never be anyone else for me but you.”
As Bri gazed back at him, a hint of doubt crept into her
. She knew Cole was sincere about how he felt. He really cared about her. But, would he want all of her?
“Are you sure, Cole? Because I’m not without my own baggage and complications, too. I’m a mess,” she almost sobbed. “A big emotional mess, full of issues and insecurities. Are you sure you want to deal with that? Are you sure you really want all of me?” She looked at him desperately.
“Baby, if you’re a mess, then I’m a certified disaster,” he chuckled. He cupped her cheeks with his hands, forcing her to look at him. “You may be a mess, but you’re a beautiful mess. And I wouldn’t want you any other way.” He smiled warmly.
Bri felt her heart melting. “I wouldn’t want you any other way, either,” she returned his smile. Cole leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
“So, does this mean...?” he trailed off.
“Yes.” She hated that she was the one forced to define things for them. “We are unofficially, officially together. And I agree to keep this quiet for now. But,” she leveled Cole with a firm look, “I am not going to spend the rest of this year hiding from Serena Blake. Do you understand?”
“Completely. It’ll only be a few weeks, tops. And in the meantime,” he grinned wickedly, “we’ll just have to be sneaky and creative. Because not even Serena’s wrath could keep me away from you.”
“It better not.” Bri reached her arms up around his neck.
“Well, now that we’ve cleared things up, can we get back to the fun stuff?” His arms drew her closer.
“Please,” Bri breathed as her mouth eagerly found his. They didn’t say another word for a very long time.
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