Guinevere came back in the room, placing a hot, steaming cup in front of Maggie. She positioned herself on the couch to Maggie’s left and began blowing softly on her tea.
Maggie noticed the frailty of Guinevere’s hands, yet there was something able and strong about them. Guinevere sat quietly, apparently not bothered at all by the silence between them. Maggie decided to drink her tea. Maybe the steam would help to clear her head somehow. Just when she had relaxed enough to believe this could easily be a dream Guinevere said, “I know you must wonder why I asked you to tea.”
Maggie was again surprised and oddly comforted by the soothing tone in Guinevere’s voice.
“I know that everyone around here is afraid of me, but I really don’t understand why.” She sounded as agitated as if some cookies she had just baked turned out all wrong. Not as if an entire town shunned her on a daily basis. “I may not look perfectly put together all of the time but…well, I don’t know. I guess some people just need to have their own little picture of the world to feel comfortable. If I don’t fit in it, then I’m not so sure I want to be there in the first place.” She looked at Maggie with a sense of finality and acceptance in the matter and took a sip of tea.
Maggie did the same.
“Your mother never treated me like something foreign.”
Maggie choked, her tea heading the wrong direction at the woman’s comment.
“There, there, dear,” Guinevere said as she patted Maggie on the back. “You can’t drink that too fast. It’s still a bit hot.”
Maggie composed herself and wiped her mouth with the napkin Guinevere offered her.
“How did you know my mother?” she whispered.
“We were friends, dear. She was a wonderful woman. But you already know that, don’t you?”
She got up and went to the kitchen, came back with a glass of water, and handed it to Maggie.
“Lady Guinev…..” Maggie stopped, horrified that she called this sweet woman the old nickname to her face.
Guinevere laughed. “I just love that you kids call me that. Makes me sound regal.” She sat straighter in her chair. “Your mother called me Gwen for short. You can call me that too.”
“So, how well did you know my mother?” Maggie was finally able to say after a few sips of water.
“We got talking one day on the street and hit it off right away. My husband, Larry, was alive then and, well, we loved your mother like a daughter. It broke both our hearts when Larry died of a heart attack. Your mother would come out here and try to help me fix things, but I finally just gave up and let it all go.
“Your mother was a great comfort to me. After Larry died, I had the hardest time just wanting to even get out of bed in the morning. I guess you could say that was when the rumors began flying about me. ‘So disheveled all the time.’ I even hear the tourists now say that I’m the famous homeless person around here. Homeless,” she chuckled. “I have a perfectly good home right here, as you can see. But I don’t have a lot of money. I guess that’s what’s important these days.”
Maggie’s head was now swimming with information and mental pictures. This woman was actually a friend of her mother’s? How come her mother never told her? Why would she keep that a secret all these years? Maggie glanced at the well-worn Bible that sat on the coffee table.
As if reading Maggie’s thoughts, Gwen continued. “This was a place Caroline knew she could come and freely talk about her life. Your mother never told others about me, because I asked her not to. I knew your father would never approve, so I protected her. But after Larry died, I guess I holed up in my own little shell and only let her in. You can imagine how devastated I was when I heard of her death. I could hardly bring myself to come to the funeral.”
Maggie was shocked. “I don’t remember seeing you there.”
“Well, you wouldn’t have, my dear. I’m getting quite good at blending into the background. I stayed out of sight and kept quiet. But I did want to bid her good-bye. What an angel she was.”
A long silence fell. Gwen’s words seemed to be swirling around Maggie’s head in small puffs, like from a cartoon. Her head felt fuzzy and she couldn’t seem to think straight.
Maggie picked up her teacup again. “I apologize if I haven’t been too chatty, Gwen, but this has been quite an overload of information for me. I had no idea that you and my mother were friends. Or, that my mother even had any friends, really. I always knew she was acquainted with people in town but I never thought she spent time with anyone. My father was so…”
“I know. Your father was a tough one, wasn’t he?”
That was a nice way of putting it.
“How much did she tell you about my father?”
*
“Oh, she needed someone to chat with as much as I did, dear.” Gwen took a long sip of tea. “She loved your father, although I know that’s probably hard for you to understand.”
“I found some old pictures of them when they first got together. He couldn’t have always been so difficult, could he?”
Gwen patted Maggie’s knee. “Your father was strong and in control when your mother met him. She needed that in her life. Her parents weren’t really there for her and ….well, your mother was a strong woman, but it was a quiet strength. I think she liked how your father took charge of things and led the way.”
This was not how Maggie ever imagined her parents to be. Her mother was always the one in control, taking care of everything. Her father was lazy and unpredictable.
She decided she wasn’t ready to ask Gwen about the letters yet. She needed time to think.
She stood up and set her cup on the coffee table. “Thank you so much for having me over, Gwen. Really, it’s been….enlightening, to say the least.”
Gwen got up slowly with a little help from the arm of the sofa and smiled. “I’m so glad you came, dear. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you too much. I’ve always wanted to get to know you better, but I wasn’t sure if you would be afraid of me or not.”
“I’m sorry that we’ve all been so unkind to you, Gwen. It was poor judgment on our part and lack of making the effort to simply know someone. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay, dear. I learned a long time ago to not worry too much about others’ opinions.”
Gwen walked Maggie to the door and watched as she got into her car. She waved from the doorway as Maggie drove away, calling to her to come and visit any time.
*
When Maggie got home from Gwen’s house she was emotionally spent and her head was throbbing. She went to the kitchen for some aspirin and a glass of water. Leaning on the counter by the sink looking out the window, she thought about how different her life was than just a few days ago. And now, to imagine her mother being close friends with Lady Guinevere. It was almost comical.
A sense of bitterness crept into her throat, however, and for the first time in her life, she was angry with her mother. There were too many secrets and no answers whatsoever. And to add insult to injury, Caroline was not there to resolve anything.
Gripping the glass tighter and tighter as anger rose up inside her, she threw it across the room, the crashing sound against the wall defining her anger, the shards of glass on the floor resembling her life now – so many pieces scattered and no way to put them back together. She sank to her knees in tears.
Chapter Nine
‡
Maggie made her way into Kate’s kitchen with a plate of homemade cookies. Kate’s brother had come to visit and she had invited everyone over to meet him.
Andrew was tall, at least six foot three, and stocky in an athletic way. He had sandy-blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He reminded Maggie of Chris Hemsworth or Brad Pitt, the clean-cut good guy who could be the cowboy or the news anchor, depending on the day.
The kitchen island was covered in trays of food.
“Holy cow,” Maggie said. “Are you feeding a small army? I thought it was just a few of us today.”
“It is.”
Kate was bent over, with the entire top half of her body stuck in the refrigerator. She emerged carrying another tray filled with black and green olives and somehow found space to put it with the other food. “It’s so beautiful and warm out that I thought we could barbecue.”
“Didn’t you say there’d be six of us, sis?” Andrew said as he made his way out to the barbecue grill on the back patio with matches in his hand.
“Six of us?” Maggie looked from Andrew to Kate.
“Yeah, well, there’s you and me and Hannah and Paul.” Maggie noticed Kate was talking in almost a whisper. She seemed hesitant to continue.
“And Andrew and…” Maggie helped.
“And, well, Josh,” she said as she slipped her head back into the refrigerator.
“Josh is coming today?” Maggie asked.
Andrew looked at them through the glass doors that led to the backyard. Kate came out of the refrigerator and waved to him. She continued to flit around the kitchen, fussing with food.
“Why didn’t you warn me that Josh was coming?”
“What do you mean warn you about it? It isn’t like he’s going to debate you or something and you have to prepare a defense. I just thought that it would be nice to get to know him better myself, and that Andrew and Paul would enjoy having another guy here. And maybe, just maybe it might be a good chance for you two to start over again post-Dad era.” She whisked out the back door with a plate of meat the size of a Buick to give to Andrew, who was staring at the sky and nursing a beer. Small flames shot out from the grill.
Maggie had begun to look at things differently since her talk with Kate. She’d even considered telling Josh about the letters. But then that bizarre meeting with Gwen happened and she was more confused than ever. She didn’t need to bog his life down with her stuff.
There was a knock at the front door. Kate and Andrew kept talking away having not heard. Hannah’s voice echoed from the front entryway, pulling her from her thoughts.
“Hellooo! Anybody here?”
Maggie heard Hannah and Paul come through the front door, closing it behind them. They came around the corner into the kitchen, Paul carrying an enormous grocery bag.
“Hey, you. I didn’t know you were already here,” Hannah said as she made her way into the kitchen. “Great, we can get this party started!!” She took the bag from Paul and plopped it on the kitchen counter in front of Maggie.
Her expression and tone of voice changed immediately when she saw Maggie’s face. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
As if on cue, Paul announced that he would be out back with Kate and Andrew if anyone needed anything, and promptly escaped through the back door.
“Hey, Mags. Are you in there somewhere? What’s going on? You’re kind of zoned out.” She looked out the back door toward Kate, Andrew and Paul who were now sitting casually in deck chairs and laughing. The meat tray was empty, the grill cover was closed and smoke spewed from it like a forest fire had been ignited inside. Hannah turned back to Maggie and said, “Well? What’s your deal?”
Maggie shook her head. “I’m sorry. Just lots on my mind.”
“You wanna talk about it?” Hannah moved toward the olive tray in front of her. She began rearranging olives in strategic spots on the tray as if a design would be the outcome. “Is it something about your dad? Or Josh?”
“No. Well, Kate did just tell me Josh is coming today.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No. I’m used to you playing matchmaker.” She rolled her eyes at her friend.
“Oh, come on, Mags.” Hannah tried to tease and play it off, but Maggie knew better. Hannah would match-make any chance she got. “Kate wanted to get to know all of us better, including Josh, so she invited him. And we would never do anything to hurt you and you know that. You make this thing out with Josh to be a bigger deal than it is. The only tension that’s between you guys is from you. Let it go and start your friendship over with him as adults. See what happens now that the past is behind you and your dad is gone.” She shrugged. “Besides, you aren’t staying in town anyway. You could at least enjoy his company while you’re here.”
“Kate said the same thing, basically.”
Hannah winked. “Smart woman.”
“Well, if Josh is coming, I need to check my hair and makeup, don’t I, my matchmaker?” Maggie batted her eyes at Hannah.
Not taking the bait Hannah said, “Yes, you do.”
Maggie laughed and stuck her tongue out at her friend as she headed down the hall to the bathroom. Just as the door clicked behind her she heard Josh’s and Hannah’s voices echo through the entryway. She hadn’t heard him knock on the front door. Leaning on the sink for a minute, she took few deep breaths.
A much older version of herself stared back at her in the mirror. She still looked young, just not teenager young. Is that how Josh saw her? He was so comfortable in his own skin. So confident. Sure of things. Could he really love her? Her heart ached for the answer to be yes, but her head still told her there was someone better for him. Someone with less mess than her.
She emerged from the bathroom and found Hannah and Kate in the kitchen. Andrew, Josh, and Paul were surveying the grill outside. Maggie was relieved not to have to talk to him right away. He still gave her tummy butterflies. Kate and Hannah smiled at her.
“You okay, kid?” Hannah asked.
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Just breathe. And be yourself.” Kate said.
Maggie laughed. That was precisely what she feared. What if she was herself and Josh, well…
“You’re thinking too hard on this.” Hannah said. “Kate’s right. He loves you as you are. Trust me.”
Maggie took a deep breath and let it out. Her friends moved towards her and shared a group hug. The guys glanced at them through the door then shrugged before they turned their attention back to the cooking meat.
*
The group sat around the patio table out back with enough burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, and baked beans to feed half of North America. Each plate was piled high and for the moment it was quiet. Every mouth was stuffed with food. It was unusually warm for that time of year so they’d decided to take advantage and eat outside. In comfy jeans and a sweatshirt, Maggie relaxed.
“So, Andrew,” Hannah began, “Kate hasn’t told us much about you. What do you do in New York?”
Josh jumped in. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t know who this is?” He pointed at Andrew.
Hannah looked at Josh and then Andrew. “Um…nope. Should I?”
“Cheerleader she may have been, but baseball isn’t her sport.” Paul gave Andrew an apologetic look.
“No worries.” Andrew said. Why did he almost look embarrassed? Maggie was just as lost as Hannah.
“This, ladies, is none other than Drew MacIntire. The one and only pitcher for the New York Empires. You are sharing a meal with greatness.”
Andrew laughed. “Okay. That’s a tad overdone.”
Hannah looked at Kate. “What? Why didn’t you say anything? And you call him Andrew.”
“I call him Andrew because that’s what I’ve called him since the day I was born. And if I bragged about him all the time, that big fat head of his wouldn’t be able to fit through the door.”
In true brother fashion, Drew leaned over and tried to ruffle Kate’s hair. And in expert sister fashion, she avoided him with little effort.
“It’s also nice to come and visit my sister in a place where I can lay low. Get a break from the attention.” Drew said.
“Oh, ’fess up. You’re here to check on me and report back to the family.”
He lifted his beer to his lips and smiled. “That too.”
Kate shook her head and stood to clear the table. Andrew, Paul and Hannah rose immediately to help her. Maggie started to get up but Kate said, “Oh no, no. You sit and relax some more.”
Maggie couldn’t help but notice Kate’s quick glance toward Josh before leaving the table with t
he other co-conspirators.
Josh smiled at Maggie. “It looks like we have some matchmakers on our hands.”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Maggie…” His tone was serious. “I do want you to know that I wasn’t sure if you’d be here today or not. I accepted the invitation to have a nice time with friends and I hoped it would include you.”
“It’s okay, Josh. I’m fine.”
“Liar,” he said, with a look of familiarity that Maggie found surprisingly comfortable.
Maggie chuckled. “Okay, I’m an easy person to read.”
“You’re like an open book.”
They were both laughing now. Josh looked past her to the back door of Kate’s house. Kate, Hannah, and Paul were peering through the window as if Maggie and Josh couldn’t tell they were looking. Seeing Josh look their way, they busied themselves around the kitchen like nothing was going on.
“They are thinking pretty highly of themselves right now.”
“Oh, let ’em,” Maggie said with a wave of her hand. “They’re in there doing dishes and we aren’t. I believe that makes us the smartest ones in the bunch. Not that that’s saying much.”
Josh laughed. Maggie sat back in her chair. She could listen to that sound all day. Her friends were right. It was time to start letting go of the stuff she clung to, open up to what might be. She just wasn’t sure yet if Josh would be part of her future. Even with no idea of what was to come, her heart softened at the thought.
Chapter Ten
‡
“May I join you or will I disturb your writing?”
The noise of the coffee shop that had been a dull murmur in her head became a full-force arsenal in Maggie’s ears. Glancing at the table near the window, she noticed that an attractive woman with dark brown ringlets had replaced the guy with a crimson mohawk.
She looked up at Josh, who stood behind the chair across from her.
“Sure, go ahead.”
As he sat down Maggie noticed how well-dressed he was. He looked great. He always looked great, even in a pair of blue jeans and a sweatshirt, especially in blue jeans and a sweatshirt.
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