“See, I told you not to be nervous,” Josh said. He’d wandered back in the room and grinned at her from his lazy chair.
“Josh!” Maggie looked at him in frustration.
Roy let go of Maggie’s hand and gave her a look of mock horror. “You were nervous to be with us! Little ol’ us? My goodness.”
“Well, I just wasn’t sure because of all that happened…before.”
“There is absolutely no need to be nervous with us, Maggie,” Talia said. “What’s past is past.”
“I know that now. I just wanted to make sure my past didn’t bother you or make you think negatively about me.”
“We could never think negatively about you. We love you, so no more of this nonsense. Deal?”
“Deal.” Maggie smiled and nodded.
“On that note, I’m going to get dinner out of the oven while you three sit here and enjoy some more of each other’s company,” Josh said.
“I’ll come help you, son,” Roy said. The two men stood together.
Josh looked sideways at his dad. “Hmmm. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I think you’re as good in the kitchen as I am fixing cars.”
“True,” Roy said, “but I can set a mean table when necessary.” Laughing, the two men headed off to the kitchen.
Talia looked at Maggie. “I was wondering when they were going to give us some girl time. Now tell me, Maggie, I want to hear all about your friend, Kate’s, new store. It looks so lovely. I haven’t been inside yet, but it’s on my list of things to do soon. We are wanting, well, I’m wanting, to redecorate our bedroom, and I was wondering if Kate might help us with that.”
“She would love to, I’m sure. And she’s fantastic at it too.”
Talia’s face softened and her eyes twinkled. “I probably shouldn’t confess this for him, but I’m going to. I know my son pretty well, and he is absolutely head over heels in love with you.”
Maggie looked down, too embarrassed to look the woman in the eye.
“Young love is so fun to see. And you two are so cute. He has loved you as long as I can remember, Maggie. He dated in college after you two parted ways, but no one ever held his attention or his heart the way you did. The way you do.”
“I’m not really sure what to say, Talia.”
“I’m not looking for any response. I just thought it might be something you would like to hear.”
Maybe it was time to let Josh back into her life completely. Let someone care for her for a change, like Hannah said. She looked at Josh’s mother and smiled. She’d been shown nothing but love and acceptance since she’d been back. Josh’s patience and gentle persistence had worn down the walls around her heart. She loved him. But could she let go of the past and move forward?
“I just wanted you to know. Now let’s go eat some of that delicious food. I don’t know where Josh gets his cooking skills. I can hold my own, but he surpassed me long ago,” Talia laughed. “And I know for a fact he didn’t get it from Roy’s side of the family.”
*
Maggie sat on her back porch watching the moon glow off the water. Dantes lay curled up in her lap, snoring. Wrapped in a blanket, her body was warm, but her insides were cold. She had put way too much hope in Roy and Talia knowing something about her adoption. She rubbed Dantes behind the ears, lifting him up and holding him close. He moaned and nuzzled into her neck. The waves lapped against the rocks below and then moved aimlessly back out to sea, just like her life. Everything within her tossed and turned with no sense of where to go next. She kissed Dantes on the head. He looked up at her with those big, brown eyes. Was Hannah right? Was she afraid to rely on anyone? The last thing she wanted was to be a noose around his neck. She was just a pile of debt with no future and an ugly past.
He doesn’t care about any of that. He just wants you. Hannah’s words played over and over in her mind.
She sighed and rubbed Dantes’ head. “Oh, Dantes. Could that be true? Do you think he really wants me, warts and all?”
A warm lick across her chin was her answer.
She took a deep breath and looked out at the water. “Ok then, Dantes. I think it’s time to move on. Let go. Maybe my Christmas gift to him will be…my heart.”
This time her answer was a paw against her chin and a short “Yip!” of a puppy bark.
She laughed. “I’ll take that as you are in full agreement with this plan.”
She hugged Dantes close, peace filling her. Yes, it was time. Time to begin again.
Chapter Twenty-One
‡
Kate’s table was set with a red tablecloth and beautiful Christmas dishes made of ivory china with holly berries outlining the edges. A decorated Christmas tree adorned the center of each plate. She’d made a floral arrangement for the centerpiece out of leftover pine from trimming the tree and some poinsettia plants. Candles were lit down the center of the table and along the mantle. A fire glowed in the fireplace and classical holiday music was playing.
Maggie arrived with Hannah and Paul.
“The house looks fantastic, Kate,” Maggie commented.
Josh’s jeep came up the drive and Kate jumped up and down.
“What’s going on, Katie?” Rose asked.
“I have a surprise Christmas gift for you, Mom. Josh helped me…pick it up.”
Josh got out of the car, wearing a Santa hat on his head and a large grin on his face.
“Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!”
Maggie’s heart melted at the sight of him. His huge grin and twinkling eyes. Everything about him was strong, steady, safe. She was going to talk to him soon, tell him she loved him. But with the busyness of the holidays, the right time kept slipping just out of reach. Soon though.
He stepped aside and behind him were Drew and another man. Kate ran and jumped into their arms before they even made it through the doorway. Large tears streamed down Rose’s face as she moved toward them and embraced each one.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Rose said to the men. “I thought you were going to spend the holidays with a teammate’s family, Drew. And David, weren’t you going skiing with friends?”
“Kate called us and we started talking about how great it would be to all be together, so, here we are!” Drew said.
“Yeah, besides, California at Christmas sounded a bit more appealing than freezing in the snow all week,” David said.
In a much quieter voice than her children, Rose said, “I just can’t tell you how much it means to have all my children in one place this year for Christmas.” She began to sob.
“Oh, Mom, it’s okay.” Kate put her arm around Rose. Drew and David did the same.
Maggie, Josh, Hannah, and Paul watched the family reunion from the front porch.
“Let’s all go inside,” Kate said, pulling away from the group hug.
While everyone made themselves comfortable in the living room, Kate checked on the food with Maggie and Hannah.
“It looks like a television ad for Christmas in there,” Hannah said, peeking around the doorway from the kitchen. “And I mean that in a good way.”
Kate peered over Hannah’s shoulder at the room now bursting with life and laughter.
“It is a nice sight, isn’t it?”
Just then, the doorbell rang. “Who could that be?” Hannah asked.
“I hope you don’t mind, Kate. But I invited a friend,” Maggie said.
“It’s fine with me,” Kate answered, as she mashed potatoes in a large pot. “The more the merrier.”
Maggie went to the door. Too engrossed in conversation, no one in the family room had even heard the doorbell ring. Maggie opened the front door and welcomed Gwen inside. Gwen had combed her hair and held it back with a red ribbon. She had on a pair of black slacks, plain black shoes, and a red sweater with a white turtleneck. Her face glowed. She didn’t look at all like the woman who shuffled up and down Sea point Boulevard all the time. Maggie saw her differently now, anyway.
“
Well, don’t you look festive,” Maggie said, reaching out her hand and helping Gwen through the door.
“Thank you, dear. You look lovely too. I have to say, I’m a little nervous to meet all your friends though. I hope they can get past the Lady Guinevere image.”
“They will. Don’t worry.”
Maggie helped Gwen with her coat and hung it on the coat rack for her. Taking Gwen’s hand she asked, “You ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be, dear.”
Maggie led Gwen into the family room. Everyone was sitting around chatting and laughing, still unaware of a new addition to their gathering. Josh sat on the sofa next to Paul, Hannah now sitting on the arm of the sofa next to her husband.
“Excuse me, everyone,” Maggie said over the din of voices. “I would like for you all to meet a new friend of mine.”
All eyes turned toward Maggie and Gwen, a hushed quiet overtaking the room. Josh smiled at her, but Hannah and Paul looked astonished.
Maggie continued, “Everybody, this is Gwen.”
“Hello, everyone,” Gwen said in a slightly shaky voice. “It’s very nice to meet all of you.”
Kate was the first to break the silence.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Gwen.” She had come out of the kitchen and was wiping her hands on her red and green striped apron. She shook Gwen’s hand and welcomed her inside.
After introductions were made and Gwen knew everyone’s names, she settled in a chair by the fire and Maggie went to help with dinner. She was relieved when she saw Josh begin to talk with Gwen. Maggie knew that once they all got to visit with her, they would warm up to her, and their childish notions about her would dwindle away.
Hannah cornered Maggie in the kitchen.
“Hey, Mags, I’m not one to be judgmental or anything, but do you want to explain to me, your best friend from high school who has known you forever, why you invited Lady Guinevere here for Christmas dinner?”
Maggie laughed. “I know how strong our friendship is, Hannah, thank you for the reminder. The truth is, I met Gwen a little while ago when I was coming out of Well Read one day. She asked me for tea and I said yes.”
“You did what? Maggie, there are a lot of people around here who don’t trust her. We don’t know anything about her.”
“She’s an old lady with a cane. What exactly was she going to do to me, Hannah? Besides, I found an envelope with my mother’s letters and the return address on it was Gwen’s. I was intrigued. I wanted to know how she knew my mother. So I went and we had tea and it turned out she was friends with my mother, but she didn’t know what was in the letters or anything about my adoption.”
Hannah leaned against the kitchen counter and put her hands to her forehead.
“Wait a second.” She rested her arms across her chest. “You’re telling me that you knew all this but you didn’t tell any of us?”
“I told Josh.” Maggie could feel Hannah’s stare even though she was looking down at the cutting board in front of her, slicing sweet potatoes. “Don’t look at me that way. He sort of found out by accident because Gwen came by looking for me when I was in Seattle. So I had to tell him.”
Hannah sighed heavily and Maggie could feel the tension leaving her childhood friend. She knew Hannah all too well. She could only stay mad for about five minutes and then she would want to know all the facts.
“So she really didn’t know anything about your adoption? But you said she and your mom were friends. Boy, that thought is weird.”
“I know. It was hard for me to grasp at first too, but the more I’ve talked with Gwen, the more I see how much she and Mom had in common. They both lived isolated lives and not of their own choosing. Gwen said that my mom didn’t talk at all about the letters, just that she needed them mailed to someplace besides home because of my dad, Gwen didn’t feel the right to pry.”
Hannah craned her neck past the kitchen doorway to see into the family room. She eyed Gwen chatting with Kate. Another heavy sigh escaped her.
“Well, Mags, you never cease to amaze me.”
Maggie laughed. “I just didn’t want her to be alone on Christmas, you know? I couldn’t stand the thought of her in that little house all by herself. Not anymore.”
Hannah put her arms around Maggie’s shoulders.
“You are a tremendous person, you know that?”
“No, but you can keep telling me that.”
Hannah laughed and took the knife from Maggie’s hand.
“Here, let me do that. I’m famous for my sweet potatoes around these parts.”
“No, you’re not,” Maggie retorted.
“Just stick around, you’ll see.”
Maggie smiled at her friend and noticed a glow about her she hadn’t seen in quite some time.
“Any news on the adoption front for you guys?”
Hannah turned around and faced Maggie.
“I’ve been a little nervous to talk to you about it since you found out about your adoption.”
“Why? I think it’s a fantastic idea. My story is completely different. You and Paul are going to be such great parents.”
“Thanks. I’m not sure about this new, positive outlook side of you, though, Mags. It’s weird.”
Maggie threw a green bean at Hannah. Hannah moved aside effortlessly, allowing the bean to hit the kitchen window and fall into the sink.
“I told you, I know you all too well, Mitchell.”
“And I have this crazy feeling that something is up and you aren’t telling me. You have this way about you like the Cheshire cat.”
Hannah turned her back to Maggie and started cutting potatoes again. She was trying to suppress a smile. And failing.
“Something is going on with you!” Maggie said. “Did you guys hear about a baby?”
Hannah was now half laughing, half crying. She turned and looked Maggie in the eyes. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but you were in Seattle and then I just haven’t had a chance…”
“Spit it out, Hannah, or I’m going to beat it out of Paul in the other room.”
“Okay, okay. We heard from our case worker and we’ve got a baby!”
Maggie’s mouth dropped to the floor and tears of joy filled her eyes.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. The birth mother is due to deliver this summer. I’m finally going to be a mom.”
Maggie started screaming and hugging Hannah and the two women jumped around the kitchen together, two kids swirling in a wave of happiness.
Josh and Paul came to the doorway at the same time to see what the commotion was about.
Maggie flung herself at Paul, hugging him so tight he could hardly breathe.
“Paul, this is so fantastic! I can’t even tell you how happy I am.”
“You’re shouting is a pretty good indication.”
Josh looked lost and confused.
Maggie told him the news and he, too, joined in the celebration, shaking Paul’s hand and giving Hannah a big hug.
When they quieted down a bit, Josh said, “What do you say we move this celebration into the dining room and add an enormous meal to the party?”
In one loud cheer, they all agreed.
*
After sharing the reason for the celebration in the kitchen, which led to more congratulations and hugs, they all sat down for dinner. Josh blessed the food and, as silverware clanked against china, Mannheim Steamroller played in the background and voices full of holiday cheer mingled together.
Maggie glanced over at Gwen talking with Rose who was seated next to her. The two women smiled and talked, but then suddenly, Rose’s face went white.
Rose excused herself from the table. Maggie looked at Kate for help but everyone else had missed the interaction between the two women. Maggie waited a moment and then excused herself to check on more rolls baking in the oven. Rose stood out on the back porch, watching the water and obviously attempting to compose herself. She turned when the back door squeaked, announcing M
aggie’s arrival. Looking back at the water, she continued staring.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice shaky.
“It’s okay,” Maggie responded, burying her hands in her pants pockets and positioning herself next to Rose on the porch. “Are you all right?”
Rose’s smile was forced.
Right. Stupid question.
“I’m sorry. Of course you’re not all right, not with all you’ve been through lately. I just meant…I can’t even imagine the pain you must be feeling. The only person I’ve ever lost that I truly loved was my mother.”
Rose now faced Maggie, her face softening and her eyes tearing up a bit. “Tell me about your mother.”
Maggie smiled and looked from Rose out to the garden. “My mother was beautiful, but not in the way that the world sees beauty. She was physically pretty, but it was her calm and resolve that made her stand out. She saw potential in everything and everyone. She was quiet, but never detached. When you were in the room with her, she made you feel you were the only one that existed in her world.”
“Yes,” Rose said. “I know exactly the kind of person you mean. You never forget someone like that, and you’re always grateful to have known them.”
The two women stood in silence, allowing the sound of the waves to cover the pain.
“Are you ready to go inside?” Maggie placed a soft hand upon Rose’s back.
“Yes, I am. And thank you, Maggie, for everything.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
‡
Gwen and Maggie sat in Gwen’s living room talking. They watched as Hannah and Kate put paint swatches up against the wall and discussed what hue would be just right to match the new slipcovers on the sofa.
“I am so overwhelmed by all of this. Really,” Gwen said.
Kate turned and faced her. “Don’t be. I love decorating and we want to do this for you, Gwen. We really do.”
“That’s right,” Hannah said. “You’re home is beautiful, Gwen. We just thought it might be fun to add some new colors you enjoy.”
Gwen looked over at Maggie, who smiled in agreement and held tightly to Gwen’s hand, now stretched out to hold hers. The whir of the lawnmower could be heard through the crack in the front window. It was a beautiful day and they were all taking advantage of it in their grand scheme to help Gwen fix up her house. Paul and Josh were outside mowing the grass for her and working on a landscape plan that Josh had designed. When it was finished, Gwen would have a path that led to the front door adorned with all the flowers she enjoyed that Caroline had taught her how to grow. Now she had only a small patch of them in the backyard. Eventually, she would have a garden full.
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