by Valerie Parv
He recovered first. “Now do you believe I want you to stay?”
The taste of his kiss lingered on her lips, making thinking difficult. “Are you always this persuasive, Nicholas?”
He indulged himself in a slow inspection of her from close range. His arm around her strained the soft fabric of her T-shirt, outlining the fullness of her breasts, which felt tingly from being crushed against him. “You have no idea how persuasive I can be,” he murmured.
Did she really want to find out? She dropped her head but jerked it up again when her forehead brushed his chest, finding she could hardly summon her voice. “This wasn’t part of our agreement.”
“Wasn’t it? Are you saying I was the only one who felt anything when we met?”
If she did it would be a lie, and she had a feeing he already knew it. “No,” she said simply. Some part of her had known all along that whatever reasons had brought her back to Yarrawong, the most compelling of them was Nicholas himself.
“I take it you don’t find me physically objectionable?” The dry mockery in his voice reminded her that she had effectively answered that question without meaning to.
She tried anyway. “You know perfectly well I don’t.” In truth her own response was what alarmed her the most. No man had ever aroused her as completely as Nicholas had done in the space of a few minutes.
He put his own interpretation on the shock in her voice. “If it’s what you’re thinking, this isn’t my usual way of auditioning caretakers for Maree.”
“It never occurred to me.” Surprisingly, although it probably should have.
He began to tick off points on his fingers. “Then you liked the experience, it wasn’t unwelcome, and you don’t think I make a habit of kissing any woman in my employ. So the only objection remaining is that it happened too fast, right?”
She managed a shaky nod, too stunned for speech. Nicholas’s directness was going to take some getting used to. Among other things.
His lopsided grin warmed her like the sun on a summer day. “At least it’s an objection I can remedy.” His tone said he found the idea challenging, and a shiver rippled through her as she considered how he might meet the challenge.
“We’ll start by getting you settled in,” he continued. “No more kissing until you’re ready, I promise.”
It came to her that his assurance could be taken in different ways. He could mean he would wait until she indicated her readiness to be kissed again or that he could help her get ready. Her heartbeat went wild as the second possibility triggered a wave of heat, starting at her feet and spiraling all the way to the center of her chest.
This would have to stop, she told herself fiercely. Her response to Nicholas was purely physical. She barely knew him. She had come to Yarrawong to sort out her personal and financial problems. She didn’t need any more demands on her emotions right now.
She would have to tell him so before things got any more complicated than they were already. But not right now. After she was settled in would be soon enough. Or maybe tomorrow.
Or maybe never, she acknowledged with a silent sigh as she followed Nicholas’s lead and started unpacking her car.
It wasn’t until much later when she had finally finished unpacking that Bethany realized how effectively Nicholas had steered her away from the subject of the dollhouse.
Chapter Four
“Maybe you’ll get to see a bit more of your daddy today,” Bethany told Maree. Changed and fed, the baby squirmed impatiently as she was being dressed in a tiny pink T-shirt and shorts appliquéd with puffy-textured koalas. As she breathed in the sweet scents of baby powder and formula which clung to the small body, Bethany felt a tightness like a fist clenching deep inside her.
She buried her face in Maree’s tummy, making soft purring noises, and the baby laughed delightedly. Bethany’s vision was blurred when she lifted her head. She had always enjoyed looking after babies, but had assumed one day she would be caring for her own. It was so hard coming to terms with the idea that it wasn’t going to happen.
“There will always be cuties like you who need mothering,” she said to Maree in a soft voice that vibrated with the depths of her longing. Not every man rejected the idea of fathering any offspring but his own. There were men like Nicholas, for example, taking in his brother’s child without a second thought and loving her as much as if he had fathered her himself.
She smiled as she pictured Nicholas with Maree. It was easy to see they shared common genes. They were both darkly attractive, stubborn as they came, and both were equally capable of spreading sunshine with the sheer force of their personalities.
She straightened. “There you are, all ready to face the day, Maree. Unfortunately that makes one of us.” She tried to tell herself it wasn’t because Nicholas had made himself scarce over the past few days. He had warned her of the necessity soon after she had settled into the guest wing. It seemed he had a project to complete for the Australian government, and the deadline was looming.
“Without you to help with the baby I don’t know how I’d have managed,” he had told her gratefully. Then he had disappeared into his office, emerging only for meals and to spend a little time with Maree before she went to sleep. Even then he was distracted, his mind obviously on his work.
Bethany knew what the problem was. The memory of his kiss still burned inside her. She wanted him to appreciate her not only for her babysitting skills but also for herself as well. It was probably foolish, considering she had been hired to care for Maree in the first place, but the feeling refused to go away.
So she was pleasantly surprised when he appeared at the door of the baby’s room instead of going straight to his office, which was located in a separate building opposite the main house. “Good morning. How are my two favorite ladies this morning?”
It was a harmless enough greeting, but involuntary pleasure spilled through Bethany. She wished it was given to adults to be as spontaneous as Maree, whose baby face lit up at the sight of Nicholas. “Da, da, da, da,” she chortled, stretching out her arms to him.
Nicholas reached for her and bounced her up and down in his arms. “Do you think she’s trying to say Daddy?”
“First words at one year of age, sentences at two,” Bethany quoted, trying to still the fast beating of her heart at the sight of him holding the infant so naturally. It was only too easy to recall the feel of those strong arms around herself. She kept her voice low, afraid its huskiness would be all too revealing. “You never know your luck.”
He tickled the baby under the chin, making her laugh. “Can you say Bethany, little darling? Say it for Daddy—Beth-an-y.”
“Ah, ah, ah.”
“Oh well, it’s a start.” He hugged the child. “What would you ladies like to do today?”
Bethany shot him a startled look. Had she somehow telegraphed to him her chagrin at being left alone so much? If so, it was unintentional and she felt her face flush with remorse. “I’m supposed to leave you free to work. You don’t have to take time off to entertain me.”
“You know what they say about all work and no play?”
No one could accuse Nicholas of being dull, came the instantaneous thought. “But your project...”
He spread the long fingers of his free hand wide. “All finished. My final recommendations went to the government late yesterday. Now it’s up to them whether they implement them or not. Until they make up their minds, I’m a free man. So I repeat, what would you like to do today?”
Bethany’s thoughts spun. Spending the day in Nicholas’s company was undeniably appealing, but she wasn’t sure it was sensible. She had been disturbed by how much she had actually missed his presence during the past few days. Yet he had shown no sign of missing her, closeting himself with his computers and fax machines for hours on end without so much as a personal word when he finally emerged.
He had barely remembered to eat, she reminded herself. Maybe it was normal for him to immerse himself so totally in a
project. She caught her lower lip between her teeth. She knew so little about him beyond his ability to set her pulses racing with a look or a touch. Surely she had learned something from her experience with Alexander? A relationship had to be based on more than physical attraction. Their hearts had to respond to each other, as well.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, he was only suggesting a day’s outing, probably more for Maree’s sake than mine, she told herself impatiently. Why was she making such a big deal out of it? “We could go to Trentham and visit Kylie’s grandmother’s craft shop,” she said firmly, voicing the first suggestion springing to mind.
“Good idea. It’s a short drive but there are some pleasant walks through the State Forest out that way... so put on your walking shoes.” He jiggled Maree in his arms. “What do you think, little darling? Would you like to go bush walking?”
“You’d better take a long leash,” Bethany advised. “She’s started discovering her sea legs and wants to use them at every opportunity.”
His face fell. “Don’t tell me I missed her first steps?”
“Nothing so ambitious. At the moment she’s more into wriggling, rolling, crawling and creeping, accompanied by a lot of toppling over. But it won’t be long before she discovers proper walking.”
“No wonder she’s so squirmy all of a sudden. You can’t wait to get down and explore, can you? Just don’t start walking while we’re in the bush, will you?”
In spite of the tension winding through her, Bethany was forced to laugh. “Relax. She won’t suddenly jump up and go jogging. She has lots more experimenting to do before she gets the hang of this walking business.”
Like me, Bethany couldn’t help thinking. Where Nicholas was concerned she could do well to take a lesson from the baby, letting herself crawl before she tried to walk. Baby steps, she remembered one of the psychologists at the shelter advising, when Bethany consulted her about a work-related problem. Take things one step at a time like baby steps. She had applied the advice to herself after finding out she couldn’t have children, schooling herself to think only as far as the next day and the next until the initial shock became more bearable. It was good advice for handling this situation, too.
With Nicholas it was easier said than done, she discovered, as they set off in his four-wheel-drive vehicle along the Old Calder Highway. Maree was safely strapped into a baby seat in the back, and Bethany was relieved that the baby showed no fear of traveling in a car, despite her previous tragic experience.
At the Kyneton mineral springs Nicholas turned off toward the Coliban River, a former gold boom area, he informed her. She absorbed the information with a sense of detachment, much more aware of Nicholas himself than the history he was imparting. When he stretched out a hand to point out the ruins of the original river crossing, lying on the bed of the stream next to the bridge they were on, she nodded dutifully. But she was more conscious of the way the corded muscles of his arm, which was bare below his rolled-back shirtsleeve, brushed her forearm in passing. In fascination she noticed the pattern of blue veins near the surface of his skin and had to resist the urge to trace them with her finger.
Baby steps, she reminded herself fiercely, making an effort to rein in her runaway imagination. She wasn’t usually so fanciful where men were concerned. It must be the aftereffects of ending her recent relationship that was making her so aware of Nicholas as a man, she decided. Somehow the answer was less than wholly satisfying.
Nicholas parked the car near the bridge and looked over his shoulder at Maree. “Here’s where we find out what those gorgeous legs can do.”
“I hope you don’t mean it literally,” Bethany said in alarm. “She isn’t steady enough on her feet yet to do any actual walking.”
Humor sparkled in the glance he shared with her. “I wasn’t referring to Maree.”
“Oh, I see. I assumed...”
He grinned. “That because I’ve been tied up with work, I haven’t noticed what your legs do for a pair of shorts?”
She had assumed he was too preoccupied to notice what she wore, and the discovery that he had, brought the color surging to her face. “It’s been too hot to wear anything else.”
“It also provided the perfect incentive to get the government project finished as soon as possible so I could get out of my office and into a pair of shorts with you.”
As soon as he realized what he’d said he burst out laughing. “Darn it, you know what I mean. We’d better hit the road before I get myself into more trouble.”
She knew very well that his comment was no more than a slip of the tongue, but it didn’t dispel her sense of wonder that she had been on his mind while he was working so intensely. So it wasn’t all on her side. Although she tried to curb her soaring spirits, the thought lent her feet wings as she helped to unload the car.
Nicholas had asked Kylie to prepare some picnic food for their lunch. It was packed into a backpack with a built-in baby seat which Nicholas could carry easily on his shoulders. Bethany helped to strap Maree into the safety harness then popped a cotton sun hat onto her dark head and a wide-brimmed straw one onto her own. Bethany carried a lightweight backpack that held everything the baby might need.
They could be any normal happy family setting off on an outing, she thought as she followed Nicholas along a quiet graveled road on the western bank of the river. The sun filtering down on them through the thick eucalyptus forest added to her holiday mood. For the first time in a long while her heart felt light.
The track skirted a reservoir, and Maree bounced up and down in delight as she caught sight of a group of waterbirds wading in the shallows. A cart track led them down into a shallow gully then along a fence line to a ridge crest where Bethany drew a deep breath of pure pleasure as she saw the profusion of wildflowers in bloom. “It’s simply beautiful,” she commented.
Nicholas seemed pleased by her enthusiasm. “I thought you’d appreciate it. Rowan and I used to walk here every chance we got when we were growing up.”
“You must miss him a lot,” she observed, looking sadly at Maree’s small head resting against Nicholas’s in the baby carrier. She tried to imagine how she would feel if anything happened to Sam or Joanie, or any of her foster siblings. She hoped she would be as strong as Nicholas, who was obviously saddened to the depths of his being, but carried on out of respect for his brother and sister-in-law’s memories as well as for the sake of the baby bequeathed to his care.
“That’s why I like the forest,” he commented in a low voice. “Rowan and Kerry are never more alive to me than here, where we shared so many good times. I want Maree to grow up in the same places her parents did, as a way of keeping in touch with their memory in a happy way.”
Bethany regarded him through glistening eyes. “It’s a beautiful idea. Most men would never think of such a thing.”
The look he gave her burned with intensity. “Haven’t you realized it yet? I’m not most men.”
She’d known it from the moment they met, and she lowered her lashes to avoid letting her eyes betray her certainty. “I think we’d better stop for lunch.” In the bush with only the baby for a chaperone, it would be far too easy to admit that he affected her more than any man she’d ever encountered, and she was far from ready for where such an admission might lead.
They were skirting the western end of the Lauriston Reservoir. Exotic trees grew in landscaped surroundings at the end of the dam wall, which Nicholas told her dated from 1938. Across the dam was a picnic area located on a small promontory with views of the water. It was the perfect place to unpack the chicken rolls, fresh strawberries and cold drinks Kylie had provided for their lunch.
For Maree there was a flask of pureed chicken and vegetables and another of peach slivers in whipped yogurt. After her morning in the fresh air the baby made short work of her lunch, then allowed Bethany to change her before she settled down for a nap on a rug in the shade of a tree.
Bethany leaned against the trunk of the same tree and
watched the baby sleep. “Why do small creatures tug at our heartstrings so?” she pondered aloud.
He dropped to the rug beside her. “Because they’re helpless and innocent, and they need us,” he observed.
She regarded him through half-closed eyes. “My boss at the children’s shelter says we’re genetically programmed to care about small creatures to ensure the survival of the species.”
“But you don’t believe it?” He answered the doubt he heard in her voice.
She shook her head. “If it were true, then everyone would feel the same. But the parents of the kids needing shelter contradict the theory. We had one little boy...” She let her voice trail off, suddenly afraid of revealing too much of herself to him.
He would have none of her hesitation. “You can’t stop now. Go on.”
“He was too old for the shelter and too young for the available crisis accommodation. His parents didn’t want him at home so I took him home with me for a week, until we could find a foster home for him.”
She was aware of Nicholas’s gaze softening. “I’ll bet you take in stray kittens as well.”
She lowered her lashes over misty eyes. “How’d you guess?”
He touched a finger to her face and caught a bead of moisture under one eye. “This, for starters. I hate the thought of your work causing you this much pain.”
His arms came around her and his mouth found hers with unerring precision. What began as a kiss of comfort, rapidly turned into something deeper, making her thoughts spin with the wonder of it. Kissing him back with equal passion felt like the most natural thing in the world. When he pulled away, her heart was pounding like a kangaroo in full flight.
His voice was husky as he said, “We’d better get moving if we’re to call on Kylie’s grandmother at her shop.”
The return to reality came as a shock. He wouldn’t have kissed her at all if she hadn’t started talking about the kids at the shelter, she told herself, making an inward resolution to guard her emotions more carefully next time. Wearing her heart on her sleeve was distinctly risky with Nicholas around.