by Neal, Xavier
We arrive in front of our Aunt Kelli's home in the middle of nowhere.
Growing up, after our mom died we lived with Aunt Kelli and Uncle D for a while. Uncle D taught me how to ride my first motorcycle. It was his lifestyle. Dad was for cars, but us, all three of us triplets, had a calling for motorcycles.
I hang my helmet on one of the bars while Mel places hers on the seat. As soon as her head is free she tosses her long hair around.
She refuses to keep it braided like she used to. Says that part of her is dead. She wanted to cut it, but I vetoed that shit. I wanna keep pulling it during sex. There's something about wrapping my hand around it while I tug her towards me, I can't get enough of.
“Scared?”
“With you?” Mel smirks. “Never...”
I offer her my hand. Once she takes it, I lead her away from Aunt Kelli's house towards the McCoy junk yard. Strolling behind Destin, I drop her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulder. Melody looks around at the junk yard that used to belong to Uncle D that Madden's now responsible for.
Dad had the mechanic shop. Uncle D had this place. They always had a way of completing each other the way brothers should. The way the three of us always did.
Behind the junkyard is where the McCoy cemetery is. Under a large shaded area created by two trees there are two rows of tombstones. Dad and Uncle D's are beside each other's, while Ben's is behind his fathers and my mother as well as Merrick is behind my dad's.
That's where we're about to put Daniel.
As if hearing my thoughts, Mel slips her arm around me, pulling me in tightly. I welcome the support as we come to a stop between Madden and Destin. On the other side of him is Vinnie with his two girlfriends Shelby and Krissy. Next to them is where my Aunt Kelli is, Knox holding her up for support.
She's helped bury the most McCoys out of all of us. How any person doesn't just throw in the towel after burying not only your husband but your only son is beyond me. Sometimes I wonder how Aunt Kelli stays as strong as she has for all these years. I swear...she's gonna crack at any minute.
Madden who has the shovel in one hand and Daniel's ashes in an old oil can in the other, doesn't even look up as he hands it to me. Instead he keeps his eyes pasted on the hole we have to put Middle Man in.
Fuck...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this.
Knowing I have to speak first I open my mouth to try. Not a sound comes out. I'm not even sure I'm still breathing on my own. With the steadiest clutch I can maintain, I stare at the can containing the remains of my brother.
Destin's not alone. He's not the only one who can't fucking do this. This is all that remains of a part of me. One third of me. How the fuck am I supposed to keep functioning? How the fuck am I supposed to go on without him? How the fuck am I supposed to say anything?
Suddenly Mel's hand covers mine on the can. The simple gesture blankets me with enough momentary comfort to speak. “You know, you were a pain in the ass Middle Man. You always had to be the first to do something. Always figured it was your way of making up for not being able to be born first. You were so impatient to do everything first you were only born thirty seconds after me. Barely gave mom time to stop pushing.” A small pause comes before I finish. “And now you're first of us three to leave. Of all the things I wished you weren't in a hurry to do, this was definitely it. Um...hug the rest of the McCoys for me and I promise to keep watch over these down here if you keep watch over the ones up there....”
I give the can two taps and nod at Mel. As if she's practiced, she instantly says, “I'm sorry Daniel for everything. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and your brother. You enjoy the real Eden.”
She prepares to pass the can without tapping, so I stop her. “McCoy tradition. One tap on the car door carrying the new born for safe passage into this world and two taps on the casket for safe passage out.”
One of my grandfathers started it and we've kept it alive ever since. Don't worry. You can tap the can too.
With new tears, Mel taps the can twice and passes it to Destin.
Death changes peoples. I fucking know that. What I'm afraid of is the change it's making to him. You know Madden is as cold as he always is. Knox is following in his footsteps insisting to be the rock of this family while I'm keeping my head a float thanks to Mel. Anytime she senses I'm drowning in my own thoughts, she lets me drown in her body instead. Whisks me away to focus on the aspects of life that are worth living for. We're each other's antidotes now. No masks for us to hide under. It's amazing. But I'm still worried as fuck. Destin's not the same brother I left. I don't even see traces of him. Honestly? I'm scared that I might lose him next. Don't fucking let me.
“You taught me my first bike trick. Taught me the technique to getting Drew to take the fall and the secret to pissing Madden off. You were always the teacher because like Drew said, you wanted to do everything first. Just don't be the first one to get kicked out of Heaven...I'm sure Dad and the others will keep you in check. Look out for us down here. We fucking need it.”
We fucking do.
Destin gives a double tap and passes it to Krissy. She sniffles, “I'll miss your stunt videos almost as much as your cocky smile.”
She hits it twice and passes it to Vinnie.
Vinnie, Krissy, and Shelby are extended family. Vinnie was closest to Merrick, but he's always helped the rest of us when we needed it. He coordinates street races, helps move drugs sometimes, and launders money. He's kind of a jack of all trades. Daniel used him most when he wanted to get paid for doing his bike tricks or when he wanted to race for high cash.
“I'll make sure to run the circuit one more time. Just for you McCoy.”
He double taps and hands it to Shelby. “Pool parties won't be the same without you. We will have one more toast for you McCoy. And you have one up there for us.”
Her words cause the air in my lungs to seep out. My body starts to sway, but Mel instantly holds me closer.
Aunt Kelli takes the can. Her tears hit the top and the air that just returned to my body is choked out again. “You were always up for trouble Daniel. Rest now...”
She pats it twice and hands it to Knox. With a small sob she says, “Goddamn you McCoys. When I get up there I'm kicking your ass for making me spend so much money in waterproof mascara.” A small smiles comes to her somber face. “I'll make sure Triple D doesn't fall apart without you.”
Two taps and she passes it to Madden who clutches it so tight I'm afraid he's going to crush the can. In a very quiet voice he states, “I'll see you sooner than you think.”
What the fuck do you think he means by that?
He gives the can the farewell taps and places it in the hole. Effortlessly he tosses dirt in the grave. Unable to watch the sight, I turn my head, close my eyes, and rest it against Mel's. Holding me tightly in silence, I try to settle my spinning thoughts knowing the goodbye isn't over yet.
There's a slight bump of my shoulder which opens my eyes. Destin makes a head motion to start that way. Turning to follow him back the way we came, my ears zone in on the only two people speaking.
Madden pleads, “Aunt Kelli-”
“Don't,” she harshly whispers. “You let another McCoy die. I hope you're right. I hope you're next.” In disbelief she said that, I glance over my shoulder. “At least then, the others might have a real chance at surviving.”
For the first time I can remember, Madden's jaw trembles as his steps falter. Thankfully Knox swoops in beside him, putting an arm around him, even though he tries to shrug her away. I turn back around and press my lips together.
She was out of fucking line for that, right? It's not his fault Middle Man is dead or any of them for that matter. It's The Devil's fault my brothers are in the ground. He's gonna more than pay. The streets will run with his blood. Guaranteed.
In the front of the house, I kiss Mel on the cheek. She sighs, “Be safe.”
“Promise.”
Mel smiles softly.
Backing away from her just as the others join her side, I walk across to my bike and put on my helmet. Once it's on, I climb on mine as Destin does his. The two of us rev them up and pull onto the empty road that rarely sees people other than us. With focus filled with dedication, we peel off down the road in opposite directions. A good distance from each other, we spin ourselves around in burnouts, leaving identical marks on the road, and head back toward each other, popping wheelies along the way. When we're close to passing one another we each let go of our bars and briefly fist bump, our final salute to our brother, a silent solid statement said with the language he understood the best. Adrenaline.
Epilogue
Melody
“I can't believe it's Christmas,” I coo from beside Drew who is still half asleep.
“It happens every year,” he playfully replies. Pulling me on top of him, he lifts his eyebrows, “You know what happens every morning?”
Giggling I lightly hit his chest. “It can not happen every morning...”
He frowns. “We don't talk like that on Christmas.”
He's such a mess. A beautiful tattooed motorcycle racing mess.
I laugh again and he leans up planting a warm kiss on my lips. His hands drift down my back softly before wandering around to my boob that he lightly touches. A shudder escapes me. He growls. The kiss deepens when it should've been lightening. I let myself get lost in him for just a moment longer.
Finally I pull away and sigh, “Merry Christmas, Drew McCoy.”
He rocks his hard on against my body that's aching for it to be inside. “It could be an even merrier Christmas.”
I shake my head slowly. “I'm trying to have a real moment here.”
“So am I...” When I give him a stern look he folds his hands behind his head. “Sorry. What were you saying?”
“It's Christmas,” I start again. “I haven't been able to celebrate in...well since...” Memories of my mother flash in my mind. Suddenly Drew's hand strokes my cheek. “But I get to spend Christmas with you. And the rest of the family. I'm just...I'm just really grateful is all.”
“Me too baby,” he lightly strokes my face again. “I'd be even more grateful if we didn't have to have dinner with The Commissioner tonight.”
“That is a little weird.”
“Tell me about it,” he grumbles. “But...he did help keep the love of my life alive, so if that's the one favor he wants from us then so be it.”
He kept his word. I stayed off The Devil's radar. We met in secret with Drew escorting me of course where I recorded my testimony. Signed statements. Drew also made as many as he could. Both of us failed to mention anything about Omar. We knew if The Devil didn't kill him, he had a chance to disappear without being found on criminal charges. Somehow he managed to slip away unlike Nina who ended up dead shortly after I was supposed to. I hope Omar's safe on an island somewhere sipping mojitos with a topless blonde. Omar saved me. He saved Drew. He tried to save Daniel...he deserves that. However, with The Devil dead now, I can return to a more normal lifestyle whatever that may be. For the last couple of months, I've spent a lot of times shut in the McCoy's apartment, which wasn't terrible at all. Hanging out with Knox and Madden, Destin and Azura has been more life than I've had in years. At night, so I won't go stir crazy, Drew takes me for a bike ride. More often than not we have to stop to have sex somewhere. I can't help it! There's something so sexy about being on the bike with him! Does this make me a biker babe now?
“Speaking of the love of my life.” Drew pushes my hair behind my ear. “I can't wait to put your Christmas present outside.”
“It is pretty amazing...” I compliment.
We agreed a good way for him to start coping with the deaths of his brothers outside of helping to take down of The Devil, was for him to keep sculpting. We also agreed, I needed a new Eden, not just because I destroyed the last one with the fail safe I had installed, but because I really enjoyed gardening. So we created a garden around the back where I grow veggies, herbs, and flowers. Nothing that can kill and just a few things that can heal. For Christmas, Drew made a sculpture of both of our hands folded together to go in the middle of it. He spends a lot of time out there with me, just watching, I assume trying to calm his racing mind when all else fails. It's our own little sanctuary.
“That's because I'm pretty amazing,” he says in such a cocky way I can't help but smile. “In fact...why don't I show you how amazing I am and give you another reason to enjoy Christmas morning?”
Before I can argue his cock nestles it's way inside, a warm moan falling from my lips.
You know, I may not know what the future holds for me as a whole, but I know the most important part. I got what I've always wanted. I've finally got what I wished for for Christmas all those years ago. I have a family now. A big one. One I've risked my life to protect and one that anytime it's necessary I'll risk it again. Because life's about the choices you chose for the people you love. Not the mistakes you make. Not the masks you wear. Not the broken promises. At the end of it all, it's about the family you choose to protect and the family that chooses to protect you. Choose wisely. I did.
THANK YOUS
Crazy Lady- I love you, lol that's all this time.
Her Husband- Thank you for caring for me in your own special way.
The Law Student- You're my sister. I love you lots.
The Lumberjack- It's hard to say thank you the way I want to so just know, you really do have a place nestled in my heart no matter what the future brings.
Nanny Job- Some day when the kids are old enough they'll love these books, lol
Sissy B- Glad you're in our family. Most def.
Katniss- I love that we never have to apologize for our schedules. I do hope they start to sync up again. Fo' real! lol
The Real Life Erin- Ride or Die. Enough said.
Throwback- Love all you do for me, the team, my career and life. You are an amazing woman.
The PAs- Left and Right brain, thanks for watching out over me when I can't even do it for myself. Love you.
The Editor- I love hugging you! You are more amazing in person, which I didn't think would be possible, but it is. Hopefully you stay addicted to my books and wanna keep working with me for um....forever? Lol
Boss Lady- I just wanna keep you! Like move to the south so I can, please. Pretty please? Lol fine, fine, but you have such a magical energy around you, I just wanna be around it all the time. Thank you for giving me the chances you have to be in your life and your company.
Genie- The world is finally seeing your magic. Keep sparkling.
To the writer's I admire- The list changes and grows every day, but here is my special thank you to all of you. You are wonderful.
Dream Team- You Rock! Thanks for being there. Being understanding. For being family...
Sophie L- You are such a doll. You are a major supporter and I know it and can't thank you enough for it. You are on the list for reasons to go to Florida...
Tara M- You're practically family. You have been since day one. I know we're far but like I said, I'm always here for you just like you are for me. Tell book club 'hey hey hey' from me!
Bloggers- Every time you answer a message or a request for me or for others you give this industry hope for indies. Thank you!
Readers- Last, but never least. You are the reason the voices have an audience. I thank you for that. I thank you for the years of dreaming come true. Thank you for staying with me and riding the waves. (Thanks for the reviews too!)
Until next time....
Curious about what happens to the Merrick McCoy?
Make sure you check out his books:
Classic
Vintage
Masterpiece
Wondering about The Devil's death?
Curious if Knox and Madden end up together?
Make sure you keep an eye out for The Adrenaline Series Standalones!
Up next is Destin McCoy in “Error”.
&nb
sp; COMING SOON!
More books by Xavier Neal
Senses Series:
Vital (Prequel) Found in Interwoven
Blind (Book 1)
Deaf (Book 2
Numb (Book 3)
Hush (Book 4)
Savor (Book 5)
Callous (Book 6)
Agonize (Book 7)
Suffocate (Book 8)
Mollify (Book 9)
Senses Series Box Set (Books 1-5)