“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” She pushed at her napkin, then rubbed her palms against her pants.
“Lena?”
Her nails dug into her palms as her head jerked up to stare him in the eye. “I can’t do this.”
“We’re just having dinner. Give me your hand.”
The skin at the back of her neck tickled as if her nerves were swirling around beneath the surface, but she forced one hand to unclench, rubbed the sweat from her palm, and dropped it into his awaiting hand. This time he didn’t grab her, he just let her hand rest in his while lightly rubbing his thumb along the side of her finger.
“That thing in the cab?” She whispered. Just thinking about that night made the sensations slam into her again. “You have a thing for what? Tying girls up and spanking them?”
Even she knew that was a narrow definition, but it was all she could come up with—and at the moment, they were the only things she was really concerned with.
“Former, yes. Latter, only if needed,” he tilted his head forward, “And none of the above unless it’s consensual.”
Lena managed a slow deep breath, glancing over Eric’s shoulder to see the waitress approaching with a tray of food at her side.
Lena thanked the waitress for her food, and lowered her voice as soon as they were alone again. “What if I’m not interested in your kink?”
“You won’t know until you give it a chance.”
“Are you always like this?” she asked. “Completely blunt, talking about sex in the middle of a restaurant…?”
“You wanted to know where I met my ex-girlfriends. And, we may as well get the chat out of the way—besides, the only thing that might give away our conversation is you blushing.”
She felt her face get hotter as soon as he mentioned it. Perfect timing for the waitress to return and refill water glasses, so Lena lowered her head, pretending that she had something in her eye, until she walked away.
“Why don’t you just go back to your club?” She swallowed, trying to concentrate on her food before the current of emotions pulled her under and made her do or say something stupid.
“I admit that would be easier—in theory. The girl I’m interested in is here.”
“Why me?”
Eric put down his fork and knife, leaning over the table. “You can keep asking ‘why’, but you know it as well as I do. It’s the reason you’re here. The reason you took a chance and climbed into that cab last week. You want to know how I get under your skin so easily. How our conversations can make your body feel like it’s coming undone. I want to know the same thing.”
Lena lost all interest in the salad that sat in front of her. Did he just admit that I make him feel that way? She stared across the table into Eric’s bright hazel eyes. The circles of dark green that outlined his iris sent spikes of lighter green to the center, and under the watch of those striking eyes, she was vulnerable, and yet powerful.
This time, her long deep breath came easily. “I still get the feeling that you’re trouble.”
“Of course I am, sweetheart. You gotta have some fun.” He winked and picked up his fork.
***
“Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t,” she cleared her throat, “already into BDSM?”
“Yeah,” he gave a half-shrug, “but it’s been a while. I started going to Bound, a club about fifteen miles north of here, about eight years ago. Haven’t really had a vanilla relationship since.”
Eight years, she repeated to herself. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-nine.”
That meant at least five years separated them. Five years, she thought chewing on her lips, all of tonight’s revelations, and you’re going to get hung up on the minor one.
“Does that bother you?” he asked.
Lena shook her head. “Not really, at least no more than anything else I’ve learned today.”
“Any more questions, then?” He folded his arms across the table in front of him.
Lena straightened her back, then relaxed it again, tracing the wood grain on the table with a finger to distract herself. “What exactly do you like?”
With a chuckle, he laid his hand over her arm. “That’s quite a loaded question, and I imagine that if I go into detail, your face will turn so red the wait staff will call an ambulance.”
Lena laughed, and slapped a hand over her mouth before everyone in the building heard her. “You’re probably right on that one.”
“Have you ever thought about letting a guy tie you up?”
Lena looked away.
“I’ll take that as a resounding yes.”
She shook her head, but couldn’t bring herself to verbally deny it, or even risk a glance toward his face. She’d never told anyone about her fantasies, and the only thing this conversation was really succeeding in was heightening her curiosity. “I’m afraid,” she admitted.
“Of what? You think I’ll hurt you? Or are you more concerned with the possibility that I might break down that pretty façade you’ve kept for yourself?”
“I’ve known you for a week, and despite how you make me feel, it’s not so easy to take your word for everything.”
Eric pulled his phone from his pocket and slid it across the table. “Most of the women I’ve had long-term relationships with are in my phone book. You don’t have to take my word for anything.”
She sat back, afraid that she’d slam her face on the table as her insides went limp. “You’d seriously let me talk to one of your ex-girlfriends?”
“Yes.”
She stared at the phone, this had to be a joke, but if he was testing her, she could do it right back. “Fine,” she said, picking up the phone and managed to find the contact list. She scrolled through the names—there were a lot of girls' names. A lot of guys' names too, but those weren’t the ones who concerned her.
“How many ex-girlfriends do you have?”
“Not that many.” Eric laughed. “Just because it’s a girl on my phone doesn’t mean she was ever a girlfriend.”
She picked out a random name. “Then, who is Darcy?”
“We used to work together. Is every guy on your phone an ex?”
“No, some of them I still talk to.” She said, realizing it didn’t sound quite as coy as she had intended, especially when Eric apparently talked with his ex-girlfriends. “What about Morgan?”
“He’s an old friend,” he met her eyes as he spoke. Not even a hint that her inquest was getting to him.
How could a guy really be this open with his past? Next thing she knew he’d be asking for her cell phone in return. But what the hell would he really find? A couple of friends, her boss, old classmates, and her sister. She stopped on another name, “Rose.”
“She and I used to scene together at Bound.”
“But you stay in touch?”
“Not regularly, last I heard she was in a serious relationship.”
“And what will she say?” She pretended to push the button, and put the phone to her ear. Eric still didn’t even flinch. She held his gaze for a minute then put down the phone. He didn’t buy her bluff.
“Helps if you push call,” he said, pressing the green button then handing the ringing phone back to her. The thump of her heart and rush of blood through her ears drowned out the tone by the second ring. She pushed the phone back toward him.
“I wasn’t—”
The phone connected, and Eric picked it up.
“Hey, it’s Eric… No, I’m on a date, she can’t decide whether she wants to talk to you.”
Lena shook her head, but Eric pushed the phone into her hand.
“She doesn’t bite,” he whispered.
“Hello.”
“Hey,” the voice on the phone sounded excited.
What fucked-up reality had she fallen into?
When Lena didn’t say anything, she heard Rose laugh lightly. “So, what’d you want to know?”
I don’t even know where to begin. “Do you
all do this regularly?”
“Which part, hun?”
What if Eric asked to talk to Landon? “Uh, this part, the phone…”
Rose laughed, “Oh, boy, he did pick a newbie, didn’t he? It’s a good way to find out what you’re getting into. Don’t worry, Eric’s a sweetheart, just don’t tell him those were my exact words. Male egos being as they are.”
Lena snorted and across the table, Eric raised an eyebrow.
“Honestly though,” Rose continued, “he’s a good Dom.”
And there was that concept again. She had to force herself to continue listening.
“He’s not a creeper, he was never into anything too extreme. Very protective, and big on communication.”
“Oh, uh, thanks,” she said, not sure how to wrap up the call. It should have been reassuring, but Lena just felt like she’d fallen from one rabbit hole and into the next.
“Sure. Anything else?”
“Nope. I think that’s about all I can handle right now.”
She heard a burst of laughter that managed to calm her nerves more than anything else did. After they said their goodbyes, Lena slid the phone back across the table. “This is by far the strangest date I’ve ever been on.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I guess not, but if you want to talk to my ex, you’re way out of luck.” That probably made it sound a lot worse than it had been, but sometimes it was best to leave well enough alone. She and Landon hadn’t spoken in at least five months, and it was easier that way. Dredging up the ups and downs of their two-year relationship wasn’t something she felt obliged to do on a first date.
“Okay,” Eric replied, shrugging slightly.
“What if I’m not into this BDSM thing?”
“Then say you’re not interested, and I’ll leave you alone. It’s your call.”
Just say you’re not interested. Be done with it. If you don’t, you’re going to have a heart attack before the night is over. “If I say I’m not interested, you’ll know I’m lying.”
She swore he could probably see her heart pounding through her shirt.
“You’re right, but I’m not going to push you.” Then, he added with a wink, “Unless you want me to.”
Don’t even think about it.
Once they paid the bill and headed out to the cool, dark parking lot, the intensity returned to her nerves. Eric opened the passenger door for her, but blocked her from climbing in, pressing her against the side of the car.
“You never gave me your final answer.” He lifted her chin.
“What makes you think I want to submit to you?”
“It’s in your reactions. Except you do hold eye-contact more than most subs, I’ve met.”
“Not always. I can’t explain why I do it, but when I was a kid, I got in the habit of forcing myself to do it. I felt safer that way… which doesn’t really make sense.”
“That’s fair enough.”
He cupped this side of her face, pressing his knee between her legs.
He’s testing your limits, she told herself. But that bit of knowledge didn’t do much good since, at the moment, even she didn’t know where her limits were.
He pinned her wrists to her sides and leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, pushing and prodding until she opened her mouth to let him in. He tasted so much better without the bite of beer.
“Please,” she managed to breathe when he backed off for a second.
His breath was also coming in short, forceful waves, and he pressed his warm forehead to hers. “What?”
“Don’t stop.”
Releasing her wrists, he put his palms on the sides of her face. “You sure?”
“Sometimes, I should get what I want, right?”
He kissed her forehead. “Yes. But not if you’ll regret it in the morning.”
“Regret? Last Saturday, I woke up regretting that I had watched you walk away, and hating you for leaving me with all these feelings I didn’t understand. Where do you want to go?”
“Certainly not my place, and no offense, but I don’t really want to go to yours either.”
Eric
In the parking lot of the same downtown Inn where they’d parted ways a week earlier, Eric cut off the engine of his Land Rover. Lena had been quiet for most of the drive, and he wondered whether she’d managed to talk herself out of her own request.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, rubbing his fingers over her knee to see how she’d react.
At first touch, her knee jerked in response then she relaxed. “That I must have lost my mind.”
“Second thoughts?”
She took a long breath and dropped her hand onto his. “Remind me why I agreed to this?”
“I could, but that could be a little awkward in here. Unless you want to move to the back seat.”
Her green eyes glinted reflecting the lights of the parking lot when she sank into the seat with a soft sigh. When her cheeks pinkened, he imagined running his fingers over their soft heat, but he left his hand where it rested, pressed between her palm and knee. It was up to her to make the next move, to make a decision before he asked her to trust a near-stranger enough to take control of her body.
“They’re going to notice that we have no luggage.”
A step in the right direction, but still hesitant. “I doubt that.” Giving her knee a final squeeze, he took his hand away to reach behind her seat and retrieve a black bag. Large enough to easily pass as an overnight bag, but there weren’t any clothes inside.
Lena opened her mouth and warily took the bag. This was going to be the moment she either bolted, thinking he was a total jerk, or latched on to the idea. “You were planning this?”
“Not planning. But, I thought I should be prepared.”
“Prepared?”
“Double-edged sword isn’t it? Prepared, and you’re a creeper, not prepared and you’re irresponsible.”
“This,” she shook the bag, “goes a little beyond prepared. This thing is heavy, and I’m not sure I want to know what all is in here.”
Eric was convinced she’d change her mind when her knee began bouncing in short jerks, and her shaky fingers traced one of the side zippers. “I’m not on birth control,” she admitted.
“I have condoms, and even if you were on birth control,” he pulled her hand away from the bag, and wove his fingers through hers, “I always use condoms, but if you’re having doubts—”
“No.” Then, she quickly recanted. “Yes. Have I told you this is the strangest date I’ve ever been on?”
“I believe so.” He rubbed his knuckles against her jawline, and she moved toward his touch. Definitely not scared away.
“It’s getting cold in here.”
“I could fix that.”
“I bet. Kiss me until I can’t feel my toes anymore, and my brain is too foggy to care.”
Even with her half-hooded eyes and a slight smile, he didn’t know how to take that. His little loner definitely had some quirks that weren’t so easy to read, leaving him on edge. The pulse of having something new to discover, and pushing her to discover it herself coupled with the apprehension of not knowing her well enough to know what caveats might be waiting. Maybe this was a stupid idea, but his body yearned for it so bad, he could taste her smell in the air.
Lena pushed the black bag into his lap. “Am I crazy for wanting this?”
“No more than I am. If you tell me to stop, I will.”
Lena stayed planted in her seat until Eric opened the door. When she still didn’t move, Eric held out his hand, and as soon as her skin touched his, he pulled her out of the seat, letting her body slid down his until her feet touched the pavement.
Lust, hormones, whatever the fuck anyone wanted to call it, pulsed out from the base of his spine. He’d given her time to think, time to raise her objections. Now he pinned her to the outside of the car, giving her just what she requested, claiming her lips and tongue. For now, she was docile, letting his mouth
and hands explore as if they weren’t standing in the middle of town in a well-lit parking lot.
She wouldn’t be so docile later. Just the thought of watching her squirm caused a flash of heat and he pulled away. “Come on, little Loner, before we end up doing this in the parking lot.”
“You’re not going to stop calling me that, are you?”
“I like it.” He took her hand, rubbing his thumb against her palm and the base of her fingers. “So, a strange man with a big black bag of sex toys doesn’t intimidate you.”
“You intimidate the hell out of me.” Still breathless, she took a moment to swallow. “But probably not as much as you should. And I shouldn’t be thinking about having sex with you after just meeting you a week ago.”
“Then why are you?”
“I want to know why you’re the only guy to make me feel like a bundle of raw, pulsing nerves. My gut says maybe it’s worth a chance.”
Pushing her hair away from her face, his mouth moved to her neck, planting a light kiss that made her shiver.
“What if I’m getting in over my head?” she wondered aloud.
“I’ll start you out slow.”
“Slow? I think we passed that threshold a few miles back.”
“One word.”
Her eyes never left his as he spoke.
“You say that word and I stop. Everything stops, and we figure out where to go from there. We walk through the door, and I’m asking you to give up control, all control, except that one little word that trumps everything.”
“Driver?”
It sounded like a crazy safeword, but she remembered it, and judging from the smile, it also took the edge off. “Ready, little Loner?”
While Eric got the room, Lena wandered across the lobby, tapping out something on her phone feigning interest in the snack machines. Hopefully she was telling her roommate where she was. Well, maybe not the exact location since the last thing he wanted was to have him busting in the door during the early hours of the morning.
She grinned as he approached and slid her phone back into her pocket. All his as he tucked her under his arm and led her to the elevator. By the time they stepped out on the fourth floor, he could feel her heart pounding like Beethoven’s fifth. He pulled her around the corner, then spun her so he could pin her to the door.
Bound and Unbroken Page 5