“You know that's bordering on moving insanely fast for someone I met two weeks ago.”
“I'm not asking you to marry me, or even confessing my love for you. Those things take time and work. This,” he ran his fingers along her collarbone, “this takes chemistry.”
Lena opened her mouth, but didn't know what to say.
“I should get you back.”
“Yeah, because going back to school will be absolutely thrilling after this.”
“I was hoping it'd get you through the rest of your day.”
“Uh huh.”
“So, how about that date tonight?”
Date? She squinted, then remembered his gift and his request to join him at the BDSM club. “I am not wearing that out in public.”
“It's not exactly public. And, I can assure you, you won't stand out.”
“No,” Lena said, but she smiled, unable to be so stern about her response. There was no point in trying to hold on to reason as long as she was drowning in Eric’s presence.
She climbed back into the front seat of the Rover so Eric could drive her back up to the entrance. She felt like a teenager preparing to sneak back into the school.
She started to climb out of the vehicle when Eric tapped her shoulder with the box.
“Seriously, I'm not taking that back inside.”
His eyes tightened. “Ah, but you didn't say that you're not accepting it.”
“From now on can you just make your deliveries to my house.”
“What if your bear of a roommate sees them?”
“Just… pick me up after work. You owe me a meal, and we can talk then.”
She slammed the door and wondered how the hell she’d make it through another three hours of work after that.
Lena
Laying in the back of Eric’s Land rover, Lena folded herself against Eric’s chest and took a deep breath of the crisp October air. Rather than taking her to a restaurant when he picked her up from school, he had cooked, packed up the meal, and they enjoyed it in the back of his Land Rover at a small park at the edge of town.
Now, all she wanted to do was close her eyes, and listen to the sounds of nature, punctuated by Eric’s heart beating near her ear. “Why can’t we just stay here, or go somewhere and have a quiet night?”
“Your place or mine?” He said it with such a dry tone, Lena knew he wasn’t being serious.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a club.”
“It’s safe, Lena.” Eric slid his hand on top of her leg and took her hand. “We still have a lot to learn about each other, and I realize you don’t like loud places with lots of people, but it’s nothing like the sports bar. There will be people doing scenes, and people just sitting around and talking. All you have to do is relax.”
“I like privacy.”
“What are you afraid of?”
When she didn’t answer, he lifted her off his chest and turned her to face him. “Everyone who is going to be there tonight is there to explore their own desires. They won’t judge you for yours, or for any other reason. You’re not going to stand out, and you’re not going to be alone.”
He pushed her hair over her shoulders and kissed her forehead. That was becoming a regular tactic in his bag of tricks to calm her down. And damned if it didn’t work every time.
“Fine. I don’t know why I argue with you anyway. Even when you seem to let me have my way….”
Eric’s eyes widened, “Are you going to finish that?”
She stared out the back of the car and across the park, not really registering the scenery anymore. “No.”
Lips brushed against her neck, and she closed her eyes, letting her neck stretch in request for more attention. But none came.
“Finish what you were saying.”
“You don’t play fair. You’re always in control, and I don’t like how easily I want to give in. It scares me.”
“And?”
His one word response threw her off for a second, but she immediately knew how to answer it. “And, I like it. How fucked up is that?”
He smiled and traced her jawline with his thumb. She didn’t know what response she expected from her spiel, but it certainly wasn’t that.
“I think you just found the solution to your own worries, Sweetie.” He tucked her against his chest, and she waited for him to explain.
“You let me have my way, because you like it, and deep down it’s what you want. If I was some asshole telling you to strip so I could tie you to a bed, you’d run away screaming.”
“Damn straight,” she said, but she wasn’t sure the conviction had reached her face.
“If you were a pushover, you wouldn’t have told me no in the cab or on Monday. Tell me that you don’t like how I make you feel, and we’ll call it a night.”
“First, you’d call me on the lie. I like it, okay? I don’t want to stop, and to tell you the truth…,” she paused, wondering if she really wanted to cut out that part of her soul and plop it in his lap. “I thought about it, long before you ever showed up. I was a teenager. Thought there was something insanely wrong with me, so I never told anyone. Sex seemed awkward enough to begin with, I wasn’t really going to throw in, ‘hey, why don’t you tie me up and maybe it’ll be better’. God, especially not when I was dating Jeremiah’s best friend, and sleeping under the same roof.”
They both laughed and by the time her fit of giggles subsided, the tension had fled Lena’s body, and she relaxed into Eric’s arms.
“That’s the most you’ve told me about your ex.”
“Things were weird after we broke up. I met him through Jeremiah, and we were already friends when we started dating. I thought that would make things simpler. In a way, it did—being with him was easy.”
“Too easy?”
“Yeah, aside from sex. At first it was exciting because it was new, and then it just…,” she blinked and stared up at Eric. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m saying these things.”
Eric chuckled and stroked a hand through her hair. “Don’t stop now.”
If possible, she’d put his laugh on repeat for its simple ability to momentarily stop her overactive brain. “Are you going to spill your guts to me next?”
“I might, but right now you’re the one trying to figure out what you want.”
“Fine. What I want is to check out this club of yours. All done.”
“Smart ass.”
“I’ve learned a thing or two from my students.” She sat up to give him a glare, but he used her movement to flip her over and smack her ass. It barely stung, but effectively silenced her next smart aleck comment.
He tilted up her chin. “What was our count at last time?”
“Eight.”
“Are you scared?”
As fast as her heart was pounding, she felt like her blood was moving in slow motion. Unable to think fast enough to process the question her mouth answered anyway. “No.”
“Eventually I’m going to get out all of those secrets you’re afraid to say. Does that scare you?”
She bit down on the inside of her bottom lip and swallowed. “Yes.”
“Then come here and enjoy a cuddle before I have to turn mean.”
“You’re already mean.”
Lena tried to soak in the peace, but within five minutes of silence, her brain switched over to the mental static station. Time to get some of her questions answered, so she braced herself and went for it. “Jessica said you’re possessive.”
“So, she told you that we dated. And that I dated her best friend a few years later?”
“Uh, no. She left the latter part out.”
“Jessica and I were never serious, but I started dating her friend during our junior year. That was my first serious relationship, but I couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted. We’d have sex, and it was great, but it wasn’t what I needed. So, I got frustrated, pushed her away, but as soon as she’d move away, I’d get possessive and try to pull her back. It wa
s fucked up, I’ll admit that. And even if I could have figured out what I wanted, I doubt she would have been that into it.”
“How long were you together?”
“Off and on until we graduated. She was always strong and outspoken, and I think for a while she kept coming back because she wanted to fix me. She’s got a job as a business executive now, so I guess I didn’t fuck her up too bad.”
He didn’t even flinch when she asked about his past, but there was a reason she kept hers locked away for no one to see. The closer he got, the more her resolve wavered.
“Maybe we should take a drive before we head to the club,” Eric said, holding the keys in front of Lena.
“Okay,” she glanced at the keys then back to him.
“You’re driving.”
“Very funny. I already told you, I can’t drive a stick.”
“But you have a license?”
“Yeah.”
He lifted her wrist, then shoved the keys into her hand. “Then, why not learn?”
“Seriously, Eric. I’ll break your damn car.” She tried to hand the keys back, but he slid away and jumped out of the car.
“You’re not going to break anything, but if you don’t get your ass in the driver’s seat, we’re going to be at nine.”
Scooting out of the car, she scowled at him for good measure. “I wish you’d just decide my punishment and get it over with.”
“Soon enough.”
While Eric closed up the back, Lena plodded toward the driver’s door and pulled it open. The SUV suddenly looked three times its normal size, and she had to move the seat up at least six inches before she could come close to reaching the pedals.
“Please don’t make me do this?” She put on her best pouty face as he climbed into the seat next to her.
“Put one foot on the brake and push the clutch to the floor.”
Lena huffed, and did as she was told. He took her right hand and put it on the shifter, pulling it back.
She felt her hands starting to shake as he walked her through starting the car, and explained how to get it going. He may as well have been talking in Klingon for all she understood.
“Relax, Sweetie.” He said, resting his hand on her leg. “All you have to do is get it moving.”
“Easy for you to say.” She revved the engine, and tried to concentrate on moving her feet at the right time. The vehicle bucked forward, then shuddered to a halt and died.
Lena tightened her grip on the steering wheel, trying to talk down her own stuttering nerves. “Okay. Gave it a shot. Not happening.”
She moved to unbuckle her seatbelt, but Eric caught her hand. “Not yet. Take a breath and try again. Don’t be so afraid of it.”
“I just killed the poor thing. It’s going to like, explode, or something. And I’ll kill us both.”
“It’s not a baby, Lena. Or an explosive device. You’re not going to break it.”
She rubbed her hands over the steering wheel and began again, killing it half a dozen more times before making it across the parking lot. By the final attempt, Eric had her laughing so hard she’d forgotten all about her nerves and she finally made it to the park entrance.
“Will you take this damn thing back now, before I get us onto the road and really do kill us.”
“Nope, it’s a quiet part of town. Get it moving.”
Her shoulders fell. Surely, she’d have an audience on the main road. “I hate you.”
“Attitude. Shall we add to the count?”
“No.”
“Then, unfluster yourself before you get into trouble. It’s six blocks to Miller Street, get us there, and I’ll take over.”
He really enjoyed finding new ways to torture, but of course this couldn’t just be her punishment. No, that only meant that whatever he had in store for later had to be much worse. So, she bit back her insults and got the vehicle rolling for what she hoped was the last time. There were only two traffic lights between the park and her final destination, and as long as she hit them both green, it should be a piece of cake—aside from the next task, which was actually shifting into second gear.
***
Eric
Eric squeezed back a laugh as the second traffic light turned red, and Lena growled. He could almost see the insults and expletives bursting in her head. The light turned green, saving her just before she had to stop completely. When she shifted into second, the gears ground for an instant and he had to wince, but watching Lena scowl and shake the strange feeling from her hand earned a burst of laughter.
“Remember that,” she mumbled, “it’s your car I’m torturing.”
He laughed again, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. Luckily, she hadn’t killed it too many times, or they’d have to spend the evening with a masseuse instead of at the club. “It’s worth it.”
She shook her head and pulled into a large parking lot just off Miller Street. “Done,” she shut down the engine and set the brake.
“And we’re still alive, imagine that. Was it really so bad?”
“It’s overwhelming. Trying to keep everything going and concentrating on which foot and which hand, and ugh.” Sinking into the seat, she closed her eyes, still rubbing her hands on her knees.
“But, for the most part I told you what you needed to know. You just had to work with the car and figure out how to apply those details.”
“There’s supposed to be a lesson in here somewhere, isn’t there? Please take the car back. I don’t want to be in control anymore. My brain hurts, and my hand still feels weird.”
“Yeah, trade me. Then, we might actually get to the club early enough to finish the paperwork.”
“Right. Sex club. Paperwork. Normal day.”
Eric paused long enough to watch her slide out of the car, then he opened his own door and stepped out. As she passed by, he caught her by the waist and pinned her against the front of the car. Capturing her mouth, he didn’t give her time to think about where they were or what he was going to do. He pressed until she let him her past her lips and their tongues surged together.
Her eyes were half hooded when he pulled back, and he gave her one final peck. “I need you to stop shutting down on me. Every time you start to open up, you catch yourself and pull back into your own head.”
“With you, sometimes my thoughts just start pouring out, but—”
“Then, years of conditioning kicks in,” he brushed his hands through her hair, “and you go back into hiding. You’re not as shy as you come off, you’re just too busy fighting yourself.”
Just like she was retreating now. With every fidget, it was evident that she wanted to take a step back, to put distance between them, but finally she looked up. “There are things in my head I’m not ready to stop guarding.”
“Then, just tell me what I need to know to work around them. You told me what you’re afraid of, and if you think of anything else we need to add to your limits, you don’t have to tell me why, just tell me what to avoid.”
She nodded and took a shaky breath. “I can do that.”
“Good,” he pulled her forward and gave her ass a squeeze, “climb in.”
***
Adrienne made sure the building and lot looked nice, but always kept it low-key. Outside of the membership, most people who passed by on a regular day would never guess what was housed inside. It was still early, and there was only one other car in the lot, so Eric took the parking spot nearest the door, then reached behind Lena’s seat to grab his bag.
Lena climbed out of the car, but barely took two steps before Eric tucked her under his arm and led her to the door. Although the club wasn’t open yet, it was already unlocked as promised.
Lena’s pace slowed when they entered the main room of the club. He gave her a few seconds to take it in before pushing her toward the long bar near the front wall.
A few seconds later, Cade stepped out from a supply room with a crate of water bottles and Lena froze.
Cade slid th
e crate onto the bar and leaned against it. “Looks like you managed pretty well.”
Lena shot a glare up at Eric. “Thirty minutes discussing the policies of the club on the way here. You could have warned me.”
“That wouldn’t have been as fun. Cade dragged me here the first time, so relax. We’re all here for the same thing.”
Lena pressed her lips into a smile and muttered under her breath. “I’ll never be able to set foot in that sports bar again.”
“Is that a complaint?”
She groaned, but with another nudge, she moved toward the bar and slid onto a stool. “Don’t tell me you own this place too?”
“Nah, I just help Adrienne out with the food and drink side of things. She owns the club and calls the shots.” While he spoke, he pulled two packets of forms from under the bar and slid them to Eric. “I assume you went over the rules with her, so all you have to do is fill out the paperwork, and you’re good for the night. We have new security though, so next time you check in, you’ll probably need IDs.”
He tossed two pens onto the pile of papers and went back to work stocking the small fridge under the bar with water bottles.
Lena stared down at her share of the forms. “I guess you weren’t kidding about the rules.”
After reviewing everything to make sure that nothing had changed and that he hadn’t forgotten to tell Lena anything important. Eric signed the forms. Lena wasn’t far behind, but she stared at the last page a few minutes longer before scribbling her name and pushing the papers away.
Couples started filling in while Cade checked over the forms—a legal formality that Adrienne would have his ass for not covering.
“You know where the rooms are, and I’m sure you want to get her changed,” Cade smirked. He obviously wanted to see Lena in her new outfit as much as Eric, but she was going to take some more convincing.
Lena
Eric plucked Lena from the barstool and pulled her against his side. While she could see the possessiveness that Jessica had described—especially when he moved as if to create a human shell against the rest of world—it wasn’t a scary kind of possessiveness. She reveled in the attention, and the calming effect it provided.
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