by Elle James
She chuckled. “Don’t tempt me. I would if I wasn’t so hungry and the smell of charbroiled steak wasn’t making my mouth water.”
“Then steak and friendly harassment, it is.” Chance marched her into the middle of his family. A long picnic table had been set out on the lawn and covered with a red, checkered tablecloth. The side dishes had been placed in the middle and covered with dish towels. Paper plates stood in a stack next to the forks, spoons, knives and condiments.
The men stood back, allowing the women to go first.
Chance’s mother took the lead and filled her plate. She set it on the table, covered it with a napkin and ran back into the house for something she’d forgotten. Chance couldn’t remember a time when Ann Grayson managed to get everything out on the table the first time. She always ran to the kitchen for some overlooked dish, steak sauce or pitcher of lemonade.
All of his brothers and their girls had taken their seats at the table by the time Chance got there, leaving only two spaces for him and Kate next to each other.
“See what I mean?” he whispered to Kate.
“A conspiracy, for sure,” she whispered back. “Bacchus, sitz,” she commanded.
Bacchus dropped his butt to the ground where he stood.
Lily glanced up from her seat at the table. “You have to teach me how to do that. When I move off the ranch, I want a dog to keep me company.”
“When will that be, dear?” Chance’s mother asked.
“What?” Lily raised her hands palms up. “You just got back to the ranch, and you’re ready for me to leave?”
“The school year’s almost over,” his mother said. “I imagine you’ll be off on some summer adventure as an au pair.”
Lily nodded. “I’ve had a few inquiries.”
“You work as an au pair?” Kate settled in the seat beside Lily and scooted over, making room for Chance.
“I work a regular school year at the elementary school, and then offer my services for the summer as an au pair.” Lily reached for the bowl of potato salad and scooped a big dollop onto her paper plate. “Preferably with a family that likes to travel to new and exotic places. That way, I get to see more of the world on someone else’s dime, and I’m getting paid as well.”
“Don’t you get tired of babysitting other people’s children?” Becket asked.
Lily shrugged. “Not really. So far, families allow me a budget to take the children sightseeing or to the beach. The children have, for the most part, been good and easy to work with. It’s a perfect way to spend my summer.” She passed the potato salad to Kate and grinned. “And I get one day off each week to do what I want. It works for me while I’m still single, footloose and fancy-free.”
“What about you, Kate?” Chance’s mother turned the attention to the woman beside him. “What brings you to such a small town?”
Kate scooped potato salad onto her plate and handed the bowl to Chance before answering, “The job.”
“Nash said you’re from San Antonio,” Big John noted. “Couldn’t you have gone to work for the SAPD?”
She shook her head. “One of my stipulations for taking this position was that Bacchus was part of the deal.”
The dog’s head lifted a little higher, and his ears perked as if he knew they were talking about him.
“You’d think the San Antonio Police Department would want a dog like Bacchus in its canine division,” Becket said.
Kate’s lips pressed together. “Most people think MWDs are useless once retired. Bacchus’s only quirk was he got skittish when confronted with loud noises. He was a bomb-sniffing dog. I think he can be trained to sniff for drugs.”
“I know the department couldn’t afford to send a dog to get that kind of training. Having a dog handler on staff will be an asset,” Nash said. “I wouldn’t mind learning some of your skills, as well.”
“You’re more than welcome to tag along when I’m training,” Kate offered.
Chance had never wanted to be a deputy…up until that moment. He liked fighting fires and being an emergency medical technician, helping people when they needed him most. But he found himself wishing he had the option of working with Kate in her effort to retrain Bacchus to sniff for drugs.
He told himself it was because he liked dogs and was interested in how to train them, but he’d be lying. Kate interested him in a way no woman had captured his interest since Sandy’s death.
“You going to hold the potato salad all day or let the rest of us have some?” his father asked.
Startled out of his musings, Chance dug the big spoon into the bowl, ladled out a heaping helping and passed the bowl across the table to his father. “Sorry.”
“What’s got you wool-gathering, son?” his father asked as he helped himself to the contents of the bowl.
“Nothing,” he answered, perhaps a little too quickly.
“I think he’s sitting next to what’s on his mind,” Lily said as she stabbed a fork into a juicy steak on the platter being passed around the table.
“Don’t go there,” Chance warned. “You heard me earlier. I don’t need your help finding a woman to fill my life. My life if full enough as it is.”
Kate smiled. “And though it’s flattering that you might consider me a candidate for the position of Chance’s woman, I just got out of a messy relationship. I’ve sworn off dating for a while.”
“Then that makes you perfect for each other,” Lily declared. “Isn’t it always when you’re not looking that you find that perfect someone?”
“Lily,” Chance glared at his sister.
She pressed her lips together and pulled an imaginary zipper across them. “Not saying another word.”
“Yeah,” Rider snorted. “Like you can keep your mouth shut for an entire minute.”
“Shut up, Rider. I can and will.” Lily cut off a piece of her steak and shoved it into her mouth.
“Only because you’re eating,” Rider muttered and turned to Chance. “Keep feeding her, and you might get some peace to finish your meal.”
Chance shook his head. “What would we do without family to embarrass us in front of guests?”
“Be a lot happier,” Becket said between bites of his steak.
Kinsey elbowed him in the side. “You don’t mean that. You are so lucky to have a family who loves you enough to care whether you’re happy or not.” She leaned toward Chance. “They only want you to be happy.”
“My life is fine the way it is,” Chance said. “Why screw it up by forcing me into a relationship?”
“Ha!” Lily pointed at him. “You didn’t say you were happy. You said your life is fine.”
“So?’ Chance frowned.
“‘Fine’ is that word you use when things are anything but fine.” Lily crossed her arms over her chest. “And you’re too thick-headed to admit you aren’t happy.”
Chance opened his mouth to tell his little sister that he was happy, but the words wouldn’t come. He wasn’t happy and hadn’t been since Sandy had died. He couldn’t out-and-out lie about it. “Happiness is all relative. I don’t like to get too excited, because every time I do, something awful happens, and I’m knocked back on my ass. If I don’t let myself get too happy, I don’t have as far to fall when I’m knocked down.”
“But life is short,” Chance’s mother said, her forehead wrinkling. “You have to grab all the happiness and sunshine you can to help you weather the darker parts of your life on this earth.” She reached out a hand to her husband. “Our life hasn’t always been sunshine and roses.”
“No, dear, it hasn’t.” Big John lifted his wife’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles. “We had to work at it. But it was worth every bit of effort.”
Chance’s mother smiled. “Yes, it was.” She returned her attention to her son. “I know how rewarding life with the one you love can be. You can’t blame a mother for wanting the best for her sons and daughter.”
“No, Mom, I can’t. But give it time,” Ch
ance said with a soft smile. “If it’s meant to happen, it will.” He didn’t mention that he’d lost his chance when Sandy died. If his mother needed to hold out hope that her children would all be married and raising their own children, then who was he to dash her hope? “You do have another child who remains unattached.”
His mother’s attention pivoted to Lily.
Lily held up her hands. “I’m too young to get married. I still have a whole world to see before I’m saddled with kids of my own.”
“Lily, you’re not too young,” their mother said. “If you wait too long, you might miss your chance to have children.”
“You were having children into your thirties,” Lily pointed out.
“Yes, dear. I had you when I was thirty-two,” she said. “But not every woman is the same. Some have trouble getting pregnant in their thirties.”
Lily frowned. “That argument isn’t good enough for me to run out and find a baby daddy right this minute.”
Her mother laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t mean for you to run out and find anyone. I just want you to keep your options open. Just like I want Chance to do the same.” She winked at Chance. “You won’t know if the one you’ve been waiting for is right beside you, if you don’t at least look around.” She clapped her hands. “Enough of this talk. Who wants dessert?”
“Me,” Rider said. “All this deep talk has given me a hell of a sweet tooth. And my sweetie isn’t due back to Hellfire until the end of the spring semester.” He stood and gathered the empty plates around him. “Did I see that you made pies?”
“I did,” his mother replied with a grin. “Apple and pecan.”
“I’m going for some of both,” Rider announced. “Before the rest of you yahoos get it all.”
Becket jumped up. “Last time you went first, there wasn’t much left for the rest of us.” He, too, gathered plates. “I’ll bring the pies out here for Mom to cut.”
“I’ll help,” Kinsey offered.
Soon, everyone was up and moving toward the kitchen.
Chance stood but didn’t follow the others.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll miss out on the pie?” Kate rose to stand beside him.
He shrugged. “Not really.” Patting his belly, he drew in a deep breath. “I could stand to lose a few pounds.”
Kate snorted. “Like you have a spare ounce of flesh on you.” She frowned. “When did you get off active duty?”
“Two years ago.”
Her eyebrows rose. “And you didn’t immediately gain twenty pounds?” She shook her head. “I aspire to your dedication to fitness.”
“Not dedication. Sometimes, I forget to eat.”
Kate’s lips twisted. “I’ve forgotten my wallet, left my keys in my car and forgotten to take out the trash, but I’ve never forgotten to eat.”
Chance glanced across the pasture toward the last flare of the setting sun. “I keep busy.”
“Too busy to fuel your body?”
“Sometimes,” he said.
“Chance,” Rider leaned out the back door. “You want a beer?”
Chance shook his head. “On duty tomorrow. I’ll pass.”
“What about you, Kate?” Rider asked.
She shook her head. “Sounds good, but I start my new job tomorrow. I’d rather do that without the hangover.”
“Good. That leaves more for me.” He winked and disappeared back inside.
Kate glanced at her watch. “I guess I’d better head back to my apartment. I still have to unpack and get organized.”
“I need to get away from here for a little while. I can lead or follow to make sure you get there, if you like.”
“You don’t have to. I’m sure my GPS will get me back the same way I came.”
“Trust me, I need to escape. I live here when I’m not at the station. Sometimes, you can get a little too much family for comfort. I really need to remedy that situation, soon, with a place of my own.” His lips twisted into a wry grin. “I love my family and they love me, but right now, I need my space.”
Kate nodded. “You’re lucky you have a family as close-knit as yours.” She glanced across the pasture. “Not everyone has that luxury.”
“I know. However, sometimes, they…smother me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just need to feel the wind in my face.”
“If you’re ready, so am I.” Kate looked around at the table. “I need to thank your family for letting me crash the party.”
“You didn’t crash the party. You gave my parents and siblings a chance to give me hell. They appreciate any opportunity they can get.” He chuckled. “Sorry they dragged you into their efforts at matchmaking.”
“I’m flattered. It would be an honor to be a part of your family.” She pushed a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “I’m just not a good candidate at this time. I have trust issues after my recent break up.”
“Sounds like your ex was a jerk.”
“He was a piece of work. I won’t go into the sordid details. Suffice it to say, he used me and kept a girlfriend on the side while I was deployed.”
“Bastard.”
“Yeah, but he’s out of my life now. I’m much better off without him.”
“True. If he couldn’t remain faithful to you while you were deployed, he didn’t deserve you.”
“I agree.” She drew in a deep breath and let it out. “Hellfire and my job with the sheriff’s department are all part of the new me. I just hope the transition from military to civilian life is smooth. How was it for you?”
“I’m not your poster child for a smooth transition. It’s been two years since I got out, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.”
“PTSD?”
He shrugged. “If PTSD is nightmares, yes.”
“I’m sorry.” Kate touched his arm.
A shock of awareness ripped through his arm and into his chest. “Don’t be. It’s my problem. I’ll get over it.”
“A lot of soldiers try to muscle their way through the transition and fail,” Kate pointed out.
Chance stiffened. “I’m fine.”
“That’s what they all say until they can’t handle it anymore and commit suicide.” She shook her head. “Have you seen a therapist?”
“No,” Chance said, hoping she would drop the subject.
“Well, if you need anyone to talk to who understands the stress of deployment, I’m a good listener.”
“Thanks. I don’t need a shrink, and I don’t need someone to listen to all of my problems. I’m fine without all that stuff. All I need is the wind in my face and a lot of road to travel.”
Kate chuckled. “Sounds like a country-western song.” She snapped her fingers. “Fuss, Bacchus,” she said, giving the dog the command to heel.
The dog leaped up from where he’d been lying in the cool dirt of the flower bed. He came to stand beside Kate.
“Ready to go to our new home?” she asked.
Bacchus woofed.
The gentle smile on Kate’s face melted through the hardness in Chance’s heart. “You should smile more often,” he said softly.
Kate looked up into his eyes. “I plan on it.”
Chance hoped she followed through with her plan. Just because he didn’t find much to smile about, didn’t mean Kate couldn’t have a full and happy life in Hellfire.
As he followed her through the house to give her thanks for the meal and company, he couldn’t help thinking this woman had her life in order. He found himself wanting to be in that very same place in his own life.
Perhaps, it was time to let go of the survivor’s guilt. Sandy wouldn’t have wanted him to go through the rest of his life mourning her death or wishing it had been him instead.
If she could visit him from the other side of eternity, she’d tell him to live life to the fullest. Fall in love. Have a family. Grow roots.
He followed Kate all the way into town, remembering how the new deputy had felt in his arms. Warm, soft in all the
right places and smelling of spring flowers and sunshine. Being near her made him forget Sandy and what they’d had. If only for a moment.
His mother would call that progress, and she’d likely try set him up with the pretty new deputy. He agreed he needed to get on with his life. But Kate wasn’t interested, and Chance wasn’t that ready to choose another woman. He could use a friend, though.
Kate was interesting, loved dogs and wanted to make Hellfire her home.
As a firefighter working long shifts, he had a lot of time off between them. Perhaps instead of riding his dirt bike on dangerous trails, he might learn more about training dogs.
Chapter 5
Kate pulled into the driveway of the garage apartment and shifted into park. Part of her wanted Chance to stop and get off his motorcycle. The smart woman, who’d just gotten out of a toxic relationship, wanted him to drive by with a wave and leave her alone.
Chance pulled up behind her, swung his leg over the seat and levered the kickstand into place. He nodded his helmet-clad head toward the charred remains of Lola’s house. “They should start cleaning up the debris soon. Lola had to wait for the insurance adjuster to work his magic, and then the contractor to give her a quote.”
“Will she rebuild?”
Chance nodded. “I hear she will.” He grinned. “She and one of my firefighter buddies are going to design and build the house of their dreams.”
Kate stared at the blackened nubs that had once been the foundation of a home. “Kind of like a phoenix rising from the ashes.”
Chance nodded, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “Never thought Daniel would find the love of his life in Lola Engel. But now that they’re together, it makes sense.”
“How so?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. They just fit.” He started toward the stairs leading up to the apartment.
“I can take it from here,” she called after him.
“Call me old-fashioned, but I’d feel better if I made sure your apartment is safe.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” She glanced around at the quiet Main Street. “I thought small town living was all about leaving doors unlocked and trusting everyone.”