Harrison seemed to be coping alright. He was too young to understand the significance of what had happened, thank God. He was always excited to see his father, and devastated when he had to go. But he soon settled down once Chris was out of sight.
“You know, Debbie’s down for the weekend, for Mum’s birthday,” Chris was saying. Debbie was Chris’s sister, who lived up the coast. She was married with two girls who adored Harrison and followed him around like mother hens the whole time. Harrison lapped it up. “We’re all staying at Mum’s together.”
It had broken Meg’s heart when Chris had decided to tell his parents about what had happened. But it had been getting more difficult to hide, and neither of them had wanted to lie outright. There’d been enough of that. At least he’d had the courtesy not to give them any details about Meg’s “indiscretion.” Not that he knew any of the details. They hadn’t spoken about it this whole time. All his parents knew was that they needed a break, that they were going through a rough time. And that was the truth.
“Well, you should have a wonderful time,” Meg said, trying to be generous. “Make sure you wish your mother a happy birthday, and say hello to Deb from me.”
“Um, you know,” Chris started, hesitating, “they’d love to see you, if you wanted to come, or at least drop in.”
Meg knew his mother must have prompted Chris to invite her. She could tell he was half-hearted.
“I’ll be fine, Ally is coming to stay Saturday night.”
“Good then,” he breathed out. Meg could hear the relief in his voice. “I’ll make sure I have Harry back on Sunday to see her.”
“Thanks, she’d like that.”
There was a long pause. Meg knew she should just say goodbye and hang up, but she hated this polite awkwardness that had developed between them. She used to be able to tell him anything.
“Chris?”
“Mm?”
“Did you ever think this would happen to us? That we’d be having a phone call like this?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. “No, I didn’t.”
They were silent. She could hear him breathing.
“Meg, I’m sorry, there’s a call on the other line, I have to take it.”
“Of course,” she swallowed. “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
Saturday
Ally had been ready for more than an hour when Matt arrived. She was glad he couldn’t see her fussing around, changing her mind about what to pack a hundred times. She’d had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach all morning, like butterflies, only worse. In fact, she’d been like that all week. On edge, not eating much, not sleeping particularly well.
Against her better judgment, Ally had spent more time than was warranted during the week shopping for a new dress to wear to the concert. She didn’t want to look like a try-hard, too dressy. But she didn’t want to look too casual either. Or too provocative, though she didn’t want to discourage the idea altogether. Ally had exhausted herself in the end, trying to fulfil all the criteria. She wished her brain would just switch off for a while before she went crazy.
She probably should have said no to this weekend. Or just accepted the lift to Meg’s. But no, she had to muscle in and invite herself to the concert as well. Matt didn’t really have a say in the matter. God, what if he was meeting Sharyn there? That would be embarrassing. Surely he would have said, Ally hoped.
Her reverie was broken by three solid knocks on the door. Oh shit! This was it.
“Hi,” said Matt, as she opened the door.
“Hi.” Was it her, or had he got better looking in the last three weeks? His skin had deepened in color, making his eyes seem bluer. Now the weather had warmed up, he was probably taking his shirt off when he was working in the middle of the day. Her mind drifted, forming a mental picture …
“Are you ready?”
“Sure, of course. I’ll just get my things.”
He was still standing near the door when she came back out of her room with a small bag and her dress on a hanger.
“Is that it?”
She nodded, resisting the urge to run back inside and grab everything she had tried on in the last few hours. “There’s only tonight, and I’ll wear this again tomorrow for the drive home,” she said, looking down at herself.
“I’m not complaining,” he assured her. “I just didn’t expect it. Sharyn would have had a bag at least that size just for her make-up.”
* * *
Ally started to relax during the drive to Sydney. Matt chatted amiably about the trip along the Great Ocean Road, and about his family. He was worried about his father’s health.
“How old is he?” Ally asked.
“He was seventy last year. He’s almost ten years older than Mum, and I think he tries to keep up with her,” Matt explained. “I wish I wasn’t so far away from them.”
“Do you think you’d ever go back?” she swallowed.
He shook his head. “It’s too far away from Beck. They’ll be alright, Dave and Cath live right by.”
“Dave’s your brother, isn’t he?” Ally remembered. “Is Cath his wife?”
“No, Dave’s married to Julie, Cath’s my sister.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister.”
He glanced at her. “Mm, she’s married with four kids. And Dave’s got three boys.”
“Wow,” Ally murmured.
“That’s not the half of it. Dad was one of four, and Mum had six brothers and sisters…”
“Six?” she examined.
“They were Catholic.”
Ally nodded, knowingly. “So, lots of cousins, big family get-togethers?”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
She sighed, gazing out the window. “Must be nice…”
They had a good run into the city, arriving at Darling Harbor around three. Matt had booked himself into a compact serviced apartment overlooking Cockle Bay.
The concert was due to start at five, so he suggested they change first and then take a walk around Darling Harbor, maybe have a drink.
“You look … great,” Matt remarked as Ally came out of the bathroom. Her dress was safety issue black, but it was splashed with sprigs of green and white flowers. It was cut on the bias, so it clung to the curve of her hips, spilling down to swish around her calves. The neckline was a bit lower than she remembered, though she hadn’t tried it on with this bra. She hoped it wasn’t too much, or too little.
Matt was wearing khaki pants and a white linen shirt. His tan looked even deeper, his blue eyes piercing. Ally felt charged, like there was a spring on a catch inside her, straining to be released. She decided just to savor it. They were a long way from home. They didn’t have to explain themselves to anyone. It was a brilliant, blue Sydney afternoon. Anything was possible. Where had she heard that before?
* * *
After two glasses of wine sitting out in the warm sunshine, Ally was feeling a little tipsy. They made their way across Tumbalong Park to the Entertainment Center, and she excused herself in the foyer to find the ladies. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and sighed. Bugger, her face was all red and blotchy from the sun, or the alcohol, or both. Ally touched up her make-up, leaning forward to get closer to the mirror. She noticed her cleavage as the neckline of her dress gaped open. Crikey. There was flirting, and there was bloody open invitation. Ally straightened up, pulling the drawstring around the neckline in firmly and retieing it. She looked at the overall effect, tousling her hair a little. She would have to do.
The Rock Eisteddfod was fabulous. Ally had been before, as a high school teacher, and it never ceased to amaze her how talented the kids were. Matt was suitably impressed.
“I thought it was going to be like a typical school concert, just on a larger scale,” he remarked as they waited at the stage exit for Beck.
“Well, it’s definitely on a larger scale.”
“Hi Mr. Serrano!” said one of the young girls filing out through
the door.
“Hello…” he hesitated for a second. “Lisa! How are you, Lisa?”
“Good thanks. Beck’s coming, she’s just getting her things.”
It wasn’t long before Rebecca appeared, walking slowly through the exit. She was holding hands with a gangly, slightly pimply young man of about the same age, and they were gazing dreamily at each other. She dropped his hand quickly when she caught sight of her father. Ally watched the expression on Matt’s face.
“Hi Dad!” Beck said brightly.
“Hello sweetheart,” he returned. He moved to kiss her, but she only offered her cheek, keeping a slight distance between them. The boy hovered in the background.
“Hi Ally,” Beck smiled. “Did you like the show?”
“Loved it,” Ally enthused.
“Your item was the standout, naturally,” Matt added.
She grinned. “Naturally.”
Ally hoped Matt noticed that although Beck didn’t want to be demonstrative in front of her friend, her eyes shone when her father spoke.
“So, what’s happening?” Matt asked.
“Umm, well Dad, you know how it’s the last night…?”
“Mm.”
“Well, I know we were going to have supper tonight, but everyone’s invited back to Alex’s—”
“Alex?”
“Alexandra Porter, Dad. We’ve been going to school together since kindergarten!” Beck frowned.
“Oh, right.”
“The teachers are going and everything, Dad, it’s all above board. Mum said you can ring her if you want to check.”
Matt was frowning. He looked a little forbidding, but Ally could tell he was just taking it all in.
“Here, I’ll get my mobile phone,” Beck said, digging around in her bag.
“You’ve got a mobile phone?”
“Sure.”
“Since when?”
“I’ve had it for ages,” she dismissed, retrieving it finally. “I never bring it to your place because I can’t get reception down there.” She held it out to him.
“I don’t need to ring your mother,” Matt assured her, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”
Beck looked a little flustered. “This is Daniel, Dad.”
Matt put his hand out to the boy, who seemed a bit uncertain at first, but then he shook it.
“Mr. Serrano,” he mumbled.
“Nice to meet you, Daniel. So how are you two getting to the party?”
“On the school bus, which is leaving soon,” she said, checking her watch.
“Well, you’d better get a move on.”
“It’s okay?”
“Sure. Are we still on for tomorrow?”
“Absolutely!” she grinned. She reached up and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Thanks Dad. Bye Ally.”
“Bye,” Ally returned as Beck grabbed the hapless Daniel’s hand and sprinted off before her father could change his mind.
“Bye Dad!” she called, waving.
They watched the two of them until they disappeared around the building. Ally stole a glance at Matt. He looked at her, and she smiled.
He sighed. He leaned back against the pole of a streetlight, holding both hands to his heart, feigning pain.
“I’ve been superseded. Dumped for a fifteen year old who doesn’t even shave yet.”
Ally grinned.
“I thought she’d love me forever.”
“She will,” Ally assured him.
“But I thought she’d love me the best.”
“Then you were dreaming!” She walked over to him and held out her hand. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”
* * *
“You know, I think I’m taking this very well.”
“Do you?” Ally lifted an eyebrow. “Delusional as well as obsessive.”
He frowned at her. They were sitting in an Irish pub at the Rocks, in a booth toward the back, a bottle of wine on the table between them. There was a band playing lively Irish music, and a few couples milled around on the dance floor.
“Did you notice he had an earring?”
“I only would have noticed if he didn’t.”
“But it was one of those ridiculous ones, hanging off the top of his earlobe.”
“Mm, then he must be really, really evil,” Ally said, nodding sagely.
“You’re not very sympathetic,” he frowned.
She laughed. “You had to know that this was going to happen one day.”
“Mm.” He seemed to wince. “Just not yet.”
“How old were you and Sharyn when you started dating?”
“Oh, and that’s supposed to make me feel better? I know what we were getting up to at their age.”
Ally grinned, leaning forward. “Then you best be having a little talk with your daughter.”
He groaned, dropping his head on the table. Ally patted his hair. “You’re verging on pathetic now.”
He straightened up and tossed back the rest of his glass, refilled it and then topped up Ally’s.
“What about you, Ms. Compassion? When did you start dating?”
“Oh, not until I was much older.”
“Hah!”
“My grandfather wouldn’t let me do anything!” she protested.
“Sorry,” said Matt. “So who was your first love?”
She shrugged, thinking. “There were boys in college, but I don’t know that any of them qualify as a first love, exactly.”
“So it was that guy you mentioned, Bryce?”
“God no,” Ally said without hesitation. She took a sip of wine. When she looked up, Matt was studying her closely. “What?”
“So, have you ever been in love, or are you avoiding the question?”
Ally looked down at her glass, away from his scrutinising gaze. “I don’t know if I’ve ever really believed in the idea.”
“The idea of love?” he said, frowning.
“No. I mean, of falling in love. I think it’s more to do with infatuation, and lust, and hormones…”
“What’s wrong with any of that?”
Ally met his gaze. She could see something in his eyes that made her feel excited and nervous at the same time.
“Nothing,” she stammered. “It’s just that it’s a physiological thing, you know, stimulus—response.” God, keep digging that hole, girl. She breathed in deeply. “For example, they’ve done research on kissing, and there’s a lot of nerve endings around the mouth, and so, when they’re stimulated…”
Ally was distracted by the way he was looking at her. She forgot her train of thought. She stared at her wine glass.
“Well, anyway, the body releases all sorts of hormones, adrenalin, testosterone, dopamine—you know, that’s the ‘feel good’ hormone—”
“So,” Matt interrupted, “they’ve done research and worked out that kissing makes you feel good? I could have told them that. Though I guess it depends on who you’re kissing.”
She could feel his eyes on her but Ally couldn’t look at him. Her throat went dry and she gulped down some of her wine.
The band had just finished a rowdy number, and the strains of the violin took over, quieter, haunting. Ally watched the violinist, though he was probably more correctly called a fiddle player. What was it about the violin, that heart-wrenching, yearning timber, almost like a cry? The vocalist started to sing, with his gentle, lilting Irish accent. Something about love. It was always about love.
“Do you want to dance?” Matt asked in a low voice.
Ally slowly looked around at him. The message in his eyes was unmistakable. She glanced at the dance floor. Couples were entwined, slow dancing. There was no one around to stop them, they wouldn’t be interrupted this time. If she said yes, she was saying yes to more than just a dance.
She met his eyes directly. “Yes.”
Everything felt as though it started to move in slow motion, but Ally didn’t mind, she wanted to savor every delicious
moment. Matt took her into his arms on the dance floor and pulled her in close against him. There was no awkwardness, no pretense, they both knew what they were doing. Ally looped her arms around his neck and felt his hands slide slowly, so slowly, down her back and around the curve of her hips. They swayed together, deferent to the music. He brought one hand up under her hair, lingering at the nape of her neck, his fingertips teasing. Their faces were close, his lips brushed against her cheek, and she could feel his breath on her skin. She closed her eyes. She wanted him so badly it ached.
Matt took one of her hands from around his neck and held it to his mouth, kissing the hollow in the palm of her hand. Then he pulled her harder against him. She closed her eyes as his lips brushed hers lightly, pausing, then drew back, teasing her. Their lips touched again, and she felt his tongue slide across her bottom lip, then move away again. Ally was quivering, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She knew they were almost making love in the middle of a dance floor, but she didn’t care. She tightened her arms around his neck, pulling his mouth down hard onto hers. She didn’t know if the music was still playing, or if anyone was watching them. The only thing she was conscious of was the taste of him, his lips, his tongue. Her body was screaming with desire for him. Somehow they had to get out of here and back to his room.
“How long will it take to walk back to the hotel?” she breathed in his ear.
“We’ll get a taxi.”
Ally felt as though her feet didn’t touch the floor as they swept out onto the street and hailed a passing taxi. In the back seat they necked like teenagers, oblivious of the driver, unable or unwilling to keep their hands or their mouths off each other. When they pulled up at the apartments, Matt threw a crumpled note at the driver and turned on his heel, taking the steps to the entrance two at a time, almost lifting Ally with him. They stood, breathing heavily, waiting for the elevator, their hands clasped, fingers entwined. People wandered around the foyer, but no one came by the lift. When the doors closed on them, they clung to each other again, their mouths locked together, hungry, exploring. Matt held her so tight Ally thought she would be absorbed into him.
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