by Alix Labelle
She had an ordinary face and her blues eyes weren’t vibrant enough to turn heads on the streets to get her second look. Ryan, on the other hand, looked like a perfect manifestation of Adonis. He was a Greek God in every possible sense, a living, breathing, walking example of perfection. He was everything that everyone wanted to be, and something Sarah could never have.
She knew that Ryan was just a dream, something that she could only stare from a distance but could truly never have. The university wasn’t as appealing as she thought it would. It was just like high school with bigger bullies and adults. Ryan’s lessons were the only things that made her look forward to every day, and nothing else. Nothing else mattered to her anymore.
She found it hard to adjust in the new environment. People started making fun of her British accent or the way how she used to walk. They would call her “frozen eyed” while some would just make false presumptions about her. Sarah was a kind of person who preferred staying alone. She had found a solace in loneliness. She was a kind of person who had no best friend, or a big list of people to call. She was by herself. She has always been by herself. A lonely wolf howling for her moon.
It was just like any other day when Ryan entered the class. He was a couple of minutes late. Sarah had always been an extremely punctual person and never liked those who were late. It was a big turn off for her, but Ryan was an exception. She was relieved to see him again.
“We are going to read Walt Whitman today,” he announced and they all opened Leaves of Grass, a collection of poetry written by Walt Whitman. He narrated those beautiful lines in his peculiar accent. Sarah tried to decode it, but couldn’t really figure out his accent or his roots. She was one of those girls who found accents extremely sexy. It was a big turn on for her. She always believed that one could figure out a lot about someone with their accents – their roots, their likes and dislikes, their passion, and who they are. But it was not the same with Ryan. He was a mystery she would love to spend the rest of her life, trying to figure out. He was a puzzle she desperately wanted to solve.
When Ryan recited those words, he looked at her, the way a lion would look at his prey a few seconds before ripping it apart. Their eyes met and Sarah saw a sense of anger in his eyes. But it wasn’t just rage or fury – his eyes had an amalgamation of passion and comfort. He was one of those hunters who would feel sad for their prey. She saw it in his eyes – the sense of compassion and warmth he had for Sarah, even when he wanted to rip her apart. She quickly looked the other way, as she couldn’t find comfort in that look. She wanted to move, but there was something about Ryan that screamed danger from a distance.
That day, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan and what he really meant by that look. She felt a little discomfort, but at the same time, found that look to be insanely sexy and alluring. After she completed her assignment, she tried to take a nap, but couldn’t slumber, as all she could think of was Ryan’s turquoise eyes and how he made her heart skip numerous beats with just a single look.
She was on an endless trail of thoughts when her grandmother knocked her door. “Are you there, Sarah?” she asked in her feeble voice. Sarah realized that something was wrong that was troubling her grandmother, as she didn’t really disturb her after late evening. “Yes, what happened?” she said and quickly opened the door.
“Your granddad is not feeling well and is having this terrible headache. There is no aspirin in the house, can you please get some, my child?” she asked. Sarah couldn’t say no to her, as their well-being meant the world to her. “Sure, no problem. I will be back soon,” she said and quickly put on her coat, and left to visit the nearby pharmacist that was just walking distance away from their home.
It was a late night and Sarah knew that her neighborhood wasn’t known for its clean streets and friendly environment. She tried to avoid any eye contacts and go unnoticed. It wasn’t tough for her, as all her life she had been that invisible girl who was always unnoticed. She visited the pharmacist and got some aspirins for her granddad.
When she walked back home, she realized that the alley was dark. It was not a safe place, but there was no other option. From the corner of her eyes, she felt a shadow following her. She didn’t want to look back or confront. She knew it was not the wisest of decisions. She paced up her walk and tried to walk as fast as could to her home.
In order to look busy and alert, she opened her cell phone and browsed through her contact list. There was no one whom she could call in that ungodly hour. After giving it a quick thought, she decided to call her grandmother. When she was about to make the call, she realized that the shadow was almost next to her. She felt a tap of her shoulder and knew that there was no escape.
“Help!” she shouted at the top of her voice and turned back. The moment she turned back, her legs crossed and she fell on the ground, bruising her knee.
“Sarah, are you all right?” he said. Sarah looked at that charming face and his turquoise eyes and knew that she was safe.
“Mr. Ryan O’ Shea, it’s you!” that was not a question, but more of a statement. She could recognize that beautiful face from a distance.
“Of course it is me. Are you fine?” he asked and helped her getting back on her feet.
“I think so,” she said and saw the bruise on her knees. She wasn’t that fine after all.
“I saw you walking down from the pharmacist’s shop with a worried expression on your face. I wanted to make sure that everything was fine. I was concerned about you and tried to have a conversation. When I tried to walk towards you, you just ran in the opposite direction and didn’t look back,” Ryan explained the entire scenario.
“Yes, yes, everything is fine, Mr. Ryan,” she said with a hesitant tone in her voice.
“I live nearby. Let me take you home and clean your wound. And you can call me Ryan!” he offered.
“Thank you, Ryan, but I’ll be fine. I live nearby too. I won’t have any problem,” Sarah said and tried to walk a little. The moment she took the second step, she almost fell on the ground. Almost.
As she realized that her legs were not strong enough, she tripped and found her shelter in Ryan’s arms. He held her before she could feel on the ground and Sarah felt each and every muscle on Ryan’s arms. His chest felt strong and Sarah was pretty sure that it was made up of iron.
“You are not fine,” he said with a wicked smile on his face. He knew that she wasn’t fine and held her in his arms.
“But I have to go home. My granddad is not well and I need to give him these medicines,” she explained as Ryan held her in his arms and started walking towards the opposite direction.
“Okay, then guide me the way to your place. I will take you there!”
“Like this?” Sarah questioned him, as she lay peacefully in his arms.
“Do you have any problem with it?” He asked.
“Not at all sir,” she gave him a truthful answer and flirted a little with her blue eyes.
“Just Ryan!” he corrected her and started walking home.
Sarah was on cloud nine, held by the man of her dreams. She smelled Ryan’s essence and felt a strange sense of comfort in his presence. She knew that she was safe in his eyes. Yes, the entire incident made her a little embarrassed, but she was eternally grateful to find Ryan in the middle of nowhere there. He came like a miracle in her life.
Ryan had no problem holding Sarah and walking that extra mile to her place. After a walk that lasted just for a couple of minutes, they were home. Sarah didn’t want it to stop, but also knew that just like every other good thing, this too had to end. Ryan knocked the door and Sarah introduced her grandmother.
Her grandmother was worried for her when she saw her in that condition and felt guilty at sending her precious granddaughter like that in the middle of night. Ryan assured Sarah’s grandmother of her safety and they handed her the essential medicines.
Sarah’s grandmother came with a first-aid kit that had some bandages and a few antiseptics for her wound and thanked Ryan
for his generosity. Ryan took the first-aid kit from her and took Sarah to her room.
“It is already late. You should sleep, ma’am. I will take care of her,” he said with a charming face and Sarah’s grandmother couldn’t say no to that face. “Thank you! Good night, son!” she said and walked towards her room.
Ryan took Sarah to her room and took care of the wound. Sarah felt a little pain and discomfort when Ryan applied antiseptics to her wound.
“Shhh! It will be alright!” he said and finally placed two bandages on the pretty wound and passed a kiss on her bruised skin.
“It hurts!” Sarah complained and looked at him as an innocent lamb who was about to get slaughtered.
“I know. I will make it up to you, Sarah,” Ryan said and came closer to Sarah. She smelled his essence that took her out of her world for a moment. She was far away from the city and to an ocean. An infinite ocean of love was waiting for her and she was ready to drown.
She looked at his eyes and the turquoise color reflected her face in a single tone. She felt his breath on her face and could measure the distance between his breaths and her lips when he came a little closer and locked her lips with his.
He passed her a beautiful kiss. Sarah closed her eyes and tasted Ryan inside her mouth. She felt his hard and luscious lips that penetrated her soft red lips and her tongue. His tongue felt Sarah’s upper lips and her frontal jaw which was soon opened and their tongues locked with each other. The tip of their tongues danced for the next couple of minutes and when Sarah opened her eyes, she saw that Ryan’s lips that turned completely red. She had no idea about the color of her lips but was pretty sure that they could not be as red and luscious as Ryan’s.
He looked at her with the same wicked smile. His eyes reflected anger and he was ready to tear Sarah apart. He was a bad boy with a wicked and twisted mind and Sarah knew it was not a good idea, but she couldn’t stop. She wanted Ryan to make love to her. She had a thing for bad boys and Ryan was her salvation. He was everything she ever wanted and completely surrendered to him.
The passion which she felt was so enormously high that it knocked her down. She had her hands all over him as she threw herself and pushed him. She ached to touch him anywhere and everywhere together. She dug her perfectly filed nails on his back and Ryan gave her a look that said he enjoyed it every bit as her.
He slid his hands beneath her tee and he kept traveling upwards until he grabbed her breasts. He let his hands stay there as he fondled and played with them. He flicked them a little on the left and she moaned as pressure built inside of her.
Ryan wasn’t the kind of guy who rushed things. He picked her up in his strong arms and slowly lifted her. His hands brushed her lower back and his fingers drew tiny circles which made Sarah breathless. He gently lowered her down on the bed and then slowly undressed her taking all his time.
She looked down and saw that she wasn’t wearing a thing. Sarah had been shy all her life but being in that room with Ryan looking at her like she was the best thing to have happened to him, she felt goddamn beautiful.
Ryan got out of his pants and as he slipped his shirt, she let her eyes watch the big muscles and the tattoos he had plastered all over his chest. The largest tattoo read, “gang guy” and it looked so sexy that Sarah found herself licking and kissing a lot more desperately than what she thought she would.
She wanted to seduce him and to be seduced back because this wasn’t just sex. She felt like she could dive inside Ryan’s soul and she wanted the night to last. Wearing nothing, she quickly got up from the bed and asked Ryan to wait. She opened the drawer and took out two bars of chocolates.
She slowly peeled the wrappers off and threw them at Ryan. He knew the game well and didn’t mind playing it. He slowly and seductively licked the chocolate bar and Sarah could swear that the guy may do nothing, but she would still be turned on.
He let the chocolate stay in his mouth and pressed Sarah close. As they together nibbled on the left over pieces of chocolates, their lips met and the kiss smelled of chocolate. He put the other chocolate bar on her bosom and slowly ate it, all the while, licking parts of her. He knew it turned her on and he smiled because he was happy to please her. He pushed her hands apart and then let his mouth taste every inch of her.
He started from her neck and went down and further still, stopping whenever he found her delicate spots. Sarah kept on pushing him, asking for more and he had no trouble doing so. Finally, when he had played the game enough and Sarah was breathless and seemed to be all set, he slowly allowed himself to push inside and he felt like he had hit the spot. She came with a thud and her release knocked him. He looked in her eyes and found that she still wanted more. As he dug deeper, he found himself climaxing too and they both came again, each one rocking the other.
He was contented and thrilled and Sarah was all kinds of happy. “Holy shit, that blew me away,” Sarah muttered of course basking in the glory of the sex.
Ryan looked at her and saw the tiny fragile girl she was. Sure, she was sexy as hell and she knew how to turn him on. There was something about Sarah he couldn’t get off his mind ever since she had bumped into him. However, he knew he had a past and Sarah Watkins was the last person he wanted to hurt.
It felt wrong and as he realized, he might hurt her, he knew he had to leave before he did more damage.
“Shit. This is a mistake, Sarah. We shouldn’t be doing this. Trust me, the sex was mind-blowing. I could die for this kind of sex and you’re one heck of a beautiful woman. However, we can’t do this. I am not the right guy. This is a mistake. Forget what we did. Let’s get over it.”
With these words, he quickly wore his shirt, buttoned his pants and left, not even looking back once.
Sarah didn’t know to laugh or cry. In less than a couple of minutes, she went from being out of the world happy to heartbroken.
The tears didn’t stop that night. Men are all dogs she said, to no one in the room. She didn’t even have the energy to dress up. So, she stayed, all alone in her bed, naked and crying. She had the most amazing night of her life only to hear that it was a bloody mistake. So much for her stupid heart thinking of a beautiful tomorrow! What was it with men and her life?
When they were making love, it didn’t look like Ryan had made a mistake. He had looked at her with those hungry eyes and he had made her feel alive. Why then did he leave, without much of an explanation? He had called himself a wrong guy. Of course, he was wrong, who else leaves a naked woman in bed and calls such an orgasmic brilliance a mistake!
***
Sarah had no clue when she slept but remembered waking up in the morning to an empty bed and the memories of the night. Her tee was still crumpled on the floor and she tossed it away in anger and disgust. As she took a hot shower, she thought that Ryan certainly had a deep dark secret he was holding in.
She vowed not to let things slip away. She had allowed others to take control of her life and it had landed her nowhere. She decided it was time she handled her own life and wrote the stories she was meant to live.
Sarah Watkins was all set to change things and if there was one thing about her, it was that she never lost when she challenged herself. Sarah put on her shape wear and then wore the only piece of sexy dress she owned. It was a black peplum dress which did wonders to her cleavage.
She then took her time with cosmetics and wore an electric pick lipstick and dabbed a little extra gloss. She put on her fake eyelashes and added the right touch of mascara. She had her stilettos that were some 4 inches tall and then she decided it was enough to seduce the man who definitely was into her.
As she entered the college, people were literally dumbstruck. Her transformation was so whopping that it knocked off many guys. She wondered why she hadn’t tried all of it when she had first entered the college and then she knew that it was the month spent at NYC that finally taught her what the American taste looks like.
She really didn’t care what the other guys thought of he
r because her mission was to seduce Ryan enough that he would not call their night a mistake. She couldn’t wait for the poetry class to begin and when it did, she loved the look on Ryan’s face.
His eyes literally popped in delight and she saw the same hungry gaze as it drifted from her face to her cleavage and her whole body and back to those lips which he had definitely enjoyed last night.
He knew he was in class and it was difficult for him to keep his focus. Ryan wondered if he should sue the cosmetic companies for playing with a guy’s mind. He had no doubt that Sarah was beautiful, but when he saw her wearing all those layers of makeup and that dress, it made him all sorts of crazy. It was hard to talk of HW Longfellow when his mind was wishing to whisper something a lot dirtier.
Unable to concentrate, Ryan called off the class early and Sarah couldn’t help but grin at the effect she had on him. She kind of loved the difference a little effort could make.
“I have a question, professor,” Sarah said putting her hands up.
Ryan knew she wanted to make it difficult for him and said, “Sure, shoot it.”
“Is there a deeper literary meaning for the word ‘mistake’? Can someone call a person as a mistake and still not mean it? What do we call that figure of speech?”
Ryan chuckled and he had to admit that Sarah was a beauty with brains. He knew avoiding her was a mistake and so he said, “Class you may leave. Sarah, stay back. This is a good point to be discussed. As we have some time before the period officially ends, join me in my cabin.”
Sarah definitely enjoyed the conversation and she said, “Okay.”
As she walked into her cabin, she found Ryan had visibly relaxed. He had a smile, but he looked tired.
“Hello, Professor.”
“Sarah, I never called you a mistake. The problem is not you. It is me. I can’t really explain, but you are better off without me.”
“I thought I was the one in charge of my life and I am adult enough to make my own calls.”