by Dana Nussio
At Natalie’s question, he blinked, drawn back from the dark cave of his thoughts.
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking up again.
“Well, I didn’t expect that here would be the place where the magic...stopped.”
“Sorry.” He looked past her to the bare wall beside his dresser. “Maybe we shouldn’t—”
“Shouldn’t?” She shifted, lifted her arm from around him and clasped her hands in her lap. “I need to know one thing.”
“Okay.”
Natalie had said one thing, but she was a medical professional, so Shane braced himself for a litany of technical, humiliating questions.
“Are you going to reject me again?” Then she stared at her hands, asking in a small voice, “Don’t you want me?”
His jaw went slack. He was shocked that she could even think he didn’t want her. But what was she supposed to think? He’d been so caught up in his own insecurity that he’d been insensitive to hers. Her father had left her, and that loser of a boyfriend had bailed the moment things got rough. Of course she would see this as rejection when he was really just a coward.
“I know. It was more than just one question. I just...it’s that—”
She was rambling, her talking hands telegraphing her distress, and then she started to lift herself away from him.
“Wait.”
She stood anyway, stepping just outside his reach and turning away from him. Hands that had been so animated before were gripped in front of her now.
“Natalie, you have to know I want you. Right?”
For a long time, she didn’t answer, but when she did, she still didn’t look up from her hands. “I thought I knew.”
“I do. Really. It’s just that I’m so out of my element here.” Was there any way to explain this without humiliating himself? “I used to know...well...uh, I was pretty good with women before. But ever since the shooting, you know, I just can’t trust... I mean, so many things have changed.”
He shook his head and finally spoke the truth. “I just don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”
“And you think I do?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I think I know what you meant.”
That she’d seen his medical record and probably did know only humiliated him more. His chest felt tight as she stepped farther away from him. But instead of leaving the room, she crossed to the bedside table, collected his transfer board that was next to it and returned to hand it to him.
Shane swallowed. He hadn’t even asked for her help, and yet she was providing it. Then she settled on the end of the bed and patted the spot on the comforter next to her.
“Let’s figure it out together.”
She didn’t appear as confident as her words, but then, she wasn’t the one running from her fear like he was. Natalie knew more about his weaknesses, including medical ones, than any of the women he’d shared a bed with in the past, and here she sat, waiting. He’d told her about the biggest mistakes of his life, about the people he’d hurt, the things he could never take back, and yet she was still here, accepting him for the way he was physically. The way he might always be.
“You might want to turn off the lights,” he said. “This may not be pretty.”
He was only talking about his transition from the chair to the bed, but he realized his words might offer an apt description of the event—or nonevent—that might happen once he’d settled on the mattress. Instead of answering, Natalie sat quietly as he locked his wheels and shifted to the spot she’d patted next to her.
Once he was seated, Natalie reached for his hand. “No way that I’m turning out the lights. I don’t want to miss any of this.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
NATALIE WAS RELIEVED that she managed not to tremble when Shane brushed his thumb along her jawline. Let’s figure it out together. She didn’t know where she’d come up with those words. If he didn’t know what he was doing, she wouldn’t be much help. Her experience was limited at best, and so long ago that she could barely recall any of her awkward moves.
Either Shane didn’t notice how distracted she was, or he wanted to bring her back to the moment with a jolt, but he leaned close and pressed his lips to the sensitive spot just behind her ear. Then he blew lightly on the dampened skin. She did shiver this time. Though the heat inside her had cooled when Shane had experienced his hiccup of misgivings, she warmed again now like candle wax, already softened and ready to puddle with the next spark.
“We’ll probably be more comfortable if we can make it up to the pillows,” he told her. “I would lift you, but—”
“But you know that I am capable of lifting myself.”
She rolled to her hands and knees and crawled up the length of the bed and then propped a pillow and lay back on it. For Shane, the process was more challenging. He shifted his hands behind him, using his triceps to move backward. Natalie was tempted to help him, but she sensed that he needed to do this for himself.
“Sorry,” he said with a strained chuckle. “This went a lot faster in my mind.”
“Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”
“No.”
“Good. Then we have all afternoon.”
Where was she getting this stuff? If she kept talking like this, he would think she knew what she was doing.
“And I want to use every minute of it,” he said.
Because that sounded more like the Shane from her fantasies, she grinned. When he reached the pillow next to her, Natalie propped it behind his head. He’d shifted his upper body to face her, so she turned, as well.
“I wish you’d been there to prop my pillows when I was still in the hospital.”
“I’m sure there were plenty of pretty young nurses willing to do that for you.”
“Jealous?”
“Absolutely.”
He shook his head. “None as pretty as you. Not even close.”
She stared into his eyes, so close now that she could see specks of charcoal in their blue-gray depths, and she almost believed him. Almost.
“I’m sure we were all wearing the same sexy outfits,” she said because it was easier to joke than to swoon. She brushed her hand down the front of her scrub top for effect.
“You’re the only one I’ve dreamed about, and in those dreams you were wearing nothing at all.”
Natalie swallowed. She wasn’t the only one who’d awakened after a long night of sweaty thoughts.
“With all those painkillers you were on in the hospital, you probably didn’t dream at all.”
“Maybe.”
Instead of saying more, he pulled her hand between them. He turned it over and brushed the backs of his fingers from her palm to her fingertips. At the top, he flipped his wrist and followed that same path back down. Her breath caught. He’d touched only her hand, and a delicious ache was already spreading in her most private places. What other tricks did the magician have up his sleeve?
When he tugged her forearm gently, she scooted forward until she was lying face-to-face with him and pressed to the length of his body. Her skin tingled at every point of contact. She wanted more. Strange how she’d never felt this dizzying need when she’d shared a bed with Paul. She’d never wanted a man this way before, craving him the way the lungs of an underwater swimmer cried out for air.
Was it that Shane had been off-limits that made her want him so much? The lure of the forbidden fruit. But that premise didn’t ring true. There was just something about Shane Warner. What he did for a living had nothing to do with it. He could have been an archaeologist on a dig outside Cairo or a painter using his fingertips as a brush and she still would have been lying right here, hoping he would put his hands on her.
Finally, he did, though she would have chosen more interest
ing places than just her hips. But the way his fingers pressed into her backside, bracing her against him, was a wonderful start. He returned his mouth to hers then, kissing her with the thorough attention of a man with no deadline and a singular focus. He slowly seduced her mouth until she was sure she would explode if he didn’t do more.
“I’m going to need you to do something for me,” he whispered against her lips.
“Anything,” she breathed. Her eyes flicked open with the realization that she meant it. She’d never trusted a man this way before. Never needed anyone like this.
His sharp intake of breath made her smile. He slid his arms up from her hips until they clasped behind her back.
“Now on the count of three, I need you to roll with me. One...two...three.”
They rolled until Natalie landed on top, her legs resting on either side of him. For a few seconds, she stared down at his self-satisfied grin, but then the pull of that sexy smile proved too much for her. She brushed her lips over his. Her fantasies about him had been good, but they were just an out-of-focus photo when compared to the delicious reality. She didn’t care that he’d had dozens of women in his arms before and probably just as many in his bed. He was with her now. That was all that mattered.
As if to put an exclamation point on that fortunate reality, he traced a line of kisses from her lips, over her chin and to the sensitive skin of her neck. She braced her hands on the mattress on either side of him and shifted to give him better access. His rough stubble would undoubtedly leave marks on her chin and neck, but, again, she didn’t care. Each taste, each touch, only made her greedier for more.
When Shane’s fingers skimmed the skin between the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her pants, she stopped and waited. Slowly, he shifted his hand up, bunching the material in his fists as he moved higher up her back.
“Mind if I help with that?” Would he be as offended as he’d been that first time when she’d tried to help him in the clinic?
“You kidding? In this particular activity, you can help all you want.”
Sitting up, she straddled him and yanked her shirt over her head. Then, feeling suddenly bashful, she leaned close to him to cover herself.
“Wait.” He braced a hand between them. “I want to see you.”
Drawing in a long breath, she lifted up again, somehow holding herself still. For a few seconds, he touched her only with his warm gaze, tracing down her neck and over the outline of body. His lips lifted in a slow smile.
“You’re beautiful,” he breathed as he lifted a hand to follow the path his eyes had blazed.
Her skin awakened at each spot his fingertips skimmed. From chin to collarbone. From the inside swell of her cleavage and over the lacy barrier. When his fingers slipped beneath the lace, she gasped and leaned into the sensation. Closer to him. But before she rested her body against his, he reached both hands between them until they met at the center of her bra.
“This part I can do myself.” His nimble fingers undid the front clasp, and the contents fell into his waiting hands. “Perfect,” he crooned. “Just like I knew you’d be.”
Her eyes drifted closed as she reveled in the rush of sensations. She’d been touched before, but never like this. Never with the skills of a master, the reverence of a worshipper.
But it still wasn’t enough. Shifting back until she was seated just below his hips, she reached for the bottom of his T-shirt and slid it up over his belly to expose his broad chest, nearly smooth but for a dusting of light brown hair.
“Sorry you have to do this,” he said, indicating his clothes.
“You kidding? I’ve been dying to take your clothes off.”
“You probably say that to all your patients.”
“I can honestly say you’re the first.” She pulled his shirt over his head. “But then, remember, you’re not my client anymore.”
She placed both hands on his chest, splaying her fingers over his heated skin and enjoying the way his muscles bunched in response to her touch. Her hips instinctively swayed over his.
Shane drew in a breath through his teeth. “You might want to remember that it’s been a really long time, so...”
“So, I think we need to get rid of these.” She settled next to him and untied the strings at his waistband.
“And those.” He pointed to her scrub pants.
She lifted off the bed to do both tasks. Soon all of their clothes had been tossed in a single pile next to the bed. Natalie could only stare down at him as he lay there, his body so perfect and so thoroughly male.
“Are you going to just leave me here?” he asked after several seconds.
“Oh. Right.” She cleared her throat. Some sex kitten she was turning out to be. “You want me up there again?”
His chuckle was low and so sensual that she felt it all the way to her womb.
“Sweetheart, I want you everywhere, but there is a good start.”
She grinned as she slid over him again. Slowly, she fitted herself to him, skin to skin, their curves and planes perfectly aligned as if they’d each been built with the other in mind.
Shane dipped his head and found her mouth, kissing her again and again in a slow dance as sweet as the tiny rock of his hips against hers. Without pausing in the dance, he skimmed the back of his hand along the side of her body, over curve and dip and yet another curve until his hand rested at her hip bone.
“Do you have any...uh...?” she asked.
He gestured toward his bedside table. She reached across him and opened the drawer. The large box of condoms she found inside was half-empty, but she couldn’t think about that now. Instead, she pulled one out and handed it to him. He didn’t look at her as he ripped it open with his teeth, and she tried not to notice how efficiently he put it on.
But as she shifted back to their prior position, Shane suddenly froze beneath her. She looked down to find him with his eyes squeezed shut, his lips rolled inward.
“Is something wrong?” she whispered.
But he didn’t answer, didn’t reassure her. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked as lost and uncertain as she felt. What was going on in his mind? He wasn’t about to back out again, was he? She shook her head though he couldn’t know the question she’d answered. She couldn’t let him retreat now. Not when they were this close.
“I need you.” Her voice sounded strange in her ears. She’d never spoken those particular words to another person in her life. They were too intimate. Too risky. They made her vulnerable, and she couldn’t be vulnerable.
But if something inside him had been locking him in place, her words appeared to be the key. His arms slid around her again, pulling her close, his lips crushing hers in a desperate kiss. He moved against her until she thought she couldn’t take any more and then brought them fully together with an effortless shift.
He waited several seconds, allowing their bodies to adjust. Then he began to lift and lower her hips in a dance so sensual, so excruciatingly slow that she couldn’t breathe. But she let him lead, through each step, each twirl, the momentum building with the tempo of music played just for them.
The whimper that escaped her when she finally reached home sounded like it had come from someone else. She didn’t make sounds like that. She didn’t even want to make sounds that hinted she was out of control, though that’s exactly what she’d been from the moment he’d come into her clinic and thrown her well-ordered life into chaos.
“You okay?” he asked in a tight voice.
“I’m fine.” Her voice gave her away, but it was the best she could do. “What about you?”
“So far, so good, anyway.”
What did that mean? When she would have asked him to explain, he shifted slightly beneath her, and that new, delicious angle made her forget her question as a new fire started to build within
her. But just as the blaze was good and hot, he pressed his fingers at her waist, causing her to stop.
“Sorry.” He leaned his forehead to hers and took several deep breaths. “Feels too good. Need to...slow down.”
Again, she tried to make sense of his words, but her mind was too fogged with the sweet sensations. She wanted him, needed to connect with him in a way that went beyond just bodies. She sensed with a feminine awareness that he needed her just as much. And so they swayed together.
Natalie was the first to slip over the edge, tremors of ecstasy radiating to her limbs as she fell. But Shane chased her all the way down in his own release, their hearts pounding out a frenetic tempo and their bodies entwining as sweetly as their sighs.
* * *
“THAT WAS NICE,” Shane breathed against Natalie’s temple.
She swallowed as her head lay against his damp chest where she’d come to rest when her languid arms could no longer support her. Nice? He’d spoken about what they’d just done with the casualness someone might use to describe the weather instead of something that had rocked his world.
Or maybe it had only rocked hers.
Nice. Was that something he said to all of those other women after? She couldn’t think about that. She wanted to bask in the afterglow the way that a beach bum soaked up the rays on a perfect day. Still, she couldn’t escape the needling thought that their lovemaking might matter as little to him as any of those nights with other women had. It probably mattered less, since he’d nearly backed out of it.
“Yes. Nice.” She nearly choked on the word. Because she suddenly felt uncomfortable sprawled across him like an afghan, she slid off to his side and pulled the comforter over her.
He didn’t tell her to wait or try to prevent her retreat. Now that they’d had sex, would Shane want to escape from her and from this moment that he’d described with such a bland term? Would he leave her behind just like—
She squeezed her eyes closed to push away the thoughts. She sounded so paranoid. But the shoots of doubt had already taken root in all directions. She crossed her arms over her chest as if she could still protect herself.