Lena’s mouth hung open for a moment before she snapped it closed. She’d suspected Devin was older, but three centuries older?
“And I know you don’t want to think about it but that man has probably been with hundreds of women.” Maggie gave a little knowing smile. “Now, I’m sure that experience is beneficial to you but you need to understand that for a man to go from playing the field to realizing he only wants one woman is hard. Give him some time to adjust.”
Jealousy flared as she imagined centuries of encounters like the one his picture of Anne and Jill depicted but then doubt surfaced. How was she supposed to compete with all those women? She’d bet they all were as gorgeous as the widowed wolf sisters too.
“I need to get a boob job.”
Maggie laughed so hard tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“But…”
“No buts. Devin likes you just the way you are. I think he’d keep you in his bed all day if he could.”
She wouldn’t complain about being sexed from morning to night if their relationship wasn’t so messed-up.
“I won’t be his charity case. I want him, more and more every day, but if Devin can’t love me, then I’ll walk away.”
“You do that and it’ll be the biggest mistake of your life.”
For the first time in all the years they’d known each other, Maggie’s voice hardened and the angry glint in her eyes stopped Lena’s automatic argument.
Maggie took a deep breath, releasing it in a slow hiss. “Rick loved you, Lena. He left you because Vader asked him to.”
Lena shook her head. “No. He didn’t love me. He was using me to get a promotion.”
Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose. “That he turned down so he could take a job on the West Coast. He couldn’t stand watching you with Vader.”
Wetness blurred Maggie’s sympathetic face. Lena blinked it away. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m not, honey. Don’t forget how much Rick enjoyed the lodge. He’s been staying here on and off ever since you broke up, mostly I think to hear stories about you.” Maggie reached out and squeezed her knee. “And Vader? That boy still loves you. You can see in in his eyes when he looks at you, but you were both too damn stubborn to give a little and make it work.”
Lena wiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “I don’t know what to say.”
Maggie huffed. “Well, I do. If you don’t get over your stubbornness, you’re going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you, because this time you’re the one in love.”
* * * * *
Devin closed the door softly behind him. A sense of déjà vu hit him at the sight of Lena stretched out on the bed. Instead of sunlight bringing out the highlights in her hair, moonlight cast a faint glow over her, making her look ethereal, more an angel than a siren. Although not a repeat of events, their paths would change again tonight, here in this room and in this bed.
The news he had to deliver would crush Lena. He only hoped he could guide her through the pain. That was what mates did. They helped their partners shoulder life’s hardships. So far, he hadn’t done a stellar job of it.
He stripped on the way across the room and sat on the edge, facing the open window. He didn’t know how long he stared at the swaying tree branches but the bed creaked and a delicate hand pressed against his back.
“You didn’t find her.”
He hung his head, let the regret wash over him. Another squeak and Lena laid her cheek against his back. Wetness trailed down his spine. He turned and pulled her into his lap. With her cradled in his arms, he said, “She’s dead.”
She didn’t argue, didn’t yell, didn’t say anything. She cried, pitiful sobs that broke his heart. He held her, rubbed her back and let her grieve. When the tears finally slowed, he kissed the trail away. He crawled onto the bed and curled his body around hers.
“I’m sorry, angel.”
A long moment passed before she whispered, “I’ll never see her again, will I?”
“No, sweetheart.”
“I mean ever.”
Her heaven.
Devin buried his face in her hair and shook his head.
“It happened the last time we had sex, didn’t it?” At his nod, she sighed. “I felt a tugging in my chest, like I was spilt it two.” She pulled his arm tighter around her. “I reached for you.”
He pressed his lips to her temple. “I’m glad you did.”
She reached up and caressed his cheek. “It didn’t dawn on me what I was giving up.”
“There’s always give and take, love. I wish it weren’t so, but the gods make the rules. We can’t change them.” He wished he could for Lena’s sake and Mira’s. Both females precious to him would suffer forever because of the gods’ decree. For Lena, her family was lost to her. For Mira, her love was one she couldn’t keep.
When the gods decided to grant their sons the ability to bind humans to them, they neglected to consider their daughters’ desires or the human females chosen to become mates. Both got screwed and he was powerless to help. Others had tried and ended up losing everything.
He covered her hand. “But I can share my heaven with you.”
“And for an eternity I’ll have to live with the knowledge that I killed my little sister.”
Because Lena ran from me and wasted time. Devin didn’t bother trying to argue with her. He understood how hard it was to let go of the guilt. Instead, he searched for something to say to make this better but nothing would. He might carry the gods’ blood in his veins, but he couldn’t bring someone back from the dead.
Of course, he had, hadn’t he?
He’d played god back in those woods when he’d interfered with Lena’s life. Sure, he’d saved her but his actions had set them both down this path, one riddled with mistakes. When he looked at it that way, he couldn’t help wondering if the gods took Gwen to even the score.
How the hell would he live with that knowledge for an eternity?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Devin stole a quick peek at Lena before focusing on the dirt driveway leading up to his house. The same deadened expression she’d worn the past week slackened her features. He’d hoped bringing her home to Pennsylvania would help. So far, it hadn’t. Her pain beat at him and he didn’t know what to do to erase it.
He’d tried to get her to talk about her life, her hobbies, her favorite movies, but every topic ended up on what she planned for the future and where he fit into it. Her answer was always the same ‘let’s not rush things’ but she wouldn’t say why. She knew exactly what was at stake.
Dammit, he sucked at being a boyfriend. At the moment, he couldn’t imagine he’d make a very good mate either. If it wasn’t for the fact that they both needed each other, he’d let her go so she could find someone who’d make her happy. Going by the scowl on her face whenever she stormed out of the room, he figured he didn’t.
The only thing she wanted from him was for him to hold her. She needed his comfort and he gave it without expecting any more than her cheek pillowed against his chest, but the mate bond kept pulling them together. Even if they fell asleep in each other’s arms, fully clothed, they ended up ripping the barriers away over the course of the night and fucking. It was natural, but when he was trying to make his beloved female love him, it complicated things.
He parked the car, turned the key and sat there, gaze straight ahead.
“You live in a trailer?”
Devin glanced at Lena and grinned at the bemused, teasing expression on her face. She returned his smile and reached for his hand. He took it. She’d been trying to make things work too and was apparently willing to give it another go. He gave her hand a small squeeze.
“I’ve only been in Pennsylvania for a couple of months. We had an RV but it was too small. I upgraded.” He chuckled, remembering his twin’s glower when the humans delivered the beat-up box of metal. “This is only temporary. Our home is under construction, but it’ll be a few
more months before we can move in. The builders in this area aren’t staffed to meet the number of jobs they’ve been contracted for since Kade and Xander decided to move their families here.”
She shook her head. “I thought cats and dogs didn’t get along. Why would you want to live so close to each other?”
“We don’t always, but there are benefits to living close to one another. Protection and security being the biggest motivators. Although our animals guide our choices, they don’t rule us. Friendships count and a lot of the younger wolves grew up with cats. And the bears?” He shrugged. “They sort of adopted our pride centuries ago and nobody is about to tell a grumpy bear he isn’t welcome.”
She grinned. “So you’re a bunch of misfits?”
He skimmed a finger over the slight dimple that only made an appearance when she smiled fully. Seeing it filled him with that wash of warmth that left his chest light and his cats purring. “I suppose.”
He opened the door and tasted the scents in the air, sighing in relief. Empty. Since he wasn’t ready to deal with Mira’s reaction to the situation with Lena, he’d called ahead of time and ordered her out. Kade had suggested he tell his sister about Lena’s partial mating before arriving. He thought that was a conversation best had in person. That way, he could take his twin’s verbal lashing like a man.
Lena followed him. She glanced around, her gaze skipping over the articles in the room. He studied her neutral expression and waited for some kind of reaction. Got none. That worried him. While he had a substantial portfolio, he rarely tapped into it. Material things didn’t mean much to him. The thirty-year-old trailer served its purpose. Besides, they rarely used it unless it was raining anyway. Shifters loved to spend their days surrounded by nature.
“While I’d originally planned to build a small home, we can meet with the builders and select something bigger or a private house just for us if you don’t want to live with my twin.” She stared at him, eyes devoid of emotion. His pulse sped. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Money isn’t a problem. If you want a mansion with a garage full of those fancy sports cars you like, you can have it.”
“I grew up in a one-bedroom apartment.” She motioned toward the ugly brown couch. “This is fine.”
“For now. I want you comfortable. We’ll stop by Kade’s house later and grab the packet of building plans he has.”
She tilted her head and fixed him with a hard stare. “There’s no rush to pick out silverware patterns. We’re not married or mated.”
“We will be,” he said for what felt like the hundredth time.
She rolled her eyes, sighed and turned away. He usually found the sign of her exasperation adorable. Not this time.
“Look, I don’t want to fight. We agreed to see where this goes, not jump into an eternity-long commitment,” she said offhandedly.
He stepped closer, reached for her but let his hands drop, unsure of what he’d do if he grabbed her. His cats’ fear of losing her had grown too strong. They wanted her bound to them. Right here, right now. He wasn’t sure she’d accept them in the mood she was in.
“Dammit, Lena, you keep saying that but you won’t tell me why.”
She wheeled around and her long hair whipped out, arcing around her as if it were a living entity. “Why? Because I don’t know what love is any more than you do!”
He bit back the curse. Yelling would only escalate this. The last time he gave in to his frustration, she’d stormed away from him. At the moment, she looked as if she was trying not to attack him. Her body trembled and her hands were fisted at her sides. He let his gaze travel over her once more. Although angry, he saw the tears welling in her eyes. When she sniffled, he sighed. She might be confused over her feelings for him, but he’d bet his entire bank account on guilt being Lena’s sticking point.
How the hell was he supposed to counter it? He felt the crippling emotion too. He only hoped she wouldn’t let it consume her as he’d done for three centuries.
“Then we’re a perfect match. We’ll figure it out together.” He grinned, hoping to salvage the situation. “We do have an eternity.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
She grabbed the battery-powered fishnet-stockinged-leg lamp Mira had bought him last Christmas and flung it at his head. He ducked and the porcelain lamp crashed against the wall.
Lena hung her head and panted while he stood there, wondering what to do. When sobs shook her body, he went to her and wrapped her in his embrace.
“I’m sorry.”
He rubbed her back. “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. They sell those at the novelty store in the mall. I can get another one.”
She scrubbed at her eyes. “I’ll buy you a dozen if you want. What I mean is, I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
He waited for her to say more. When it became apparent she wouldn’t, he coaxed, “Talk to me, Lena.”
“I was wrong about Rick and Vader. I thought they were using me, that I was a means to an end for them.” She choked back another sob. “Truth is, I’m the one with problems.”
She leaned back, hands fisted around his shirt to steady herself. “They loved me and I screwed it up. I don’t want to make the same mistake with you.”
“You won’t.”
“When I get defensive or upset, I start fights. I yell. If I can get the last word in and walk away, I don’t hurt inside.”
He cupped her cheek, let his desire show in his eyes. “I like it when you yell. It turns me on.”
She chuckled. “You’re a crazy man.”
No truer statement had been made. Only the small woman in front of him proved he could be more. He pressed his lips to hers, not a kiss, more of a brush of lips. “I want to kiss you, baby. Just a kiss, okay? No sex, no petting. Just your lips. I want to show you how much I care about you.”
She opened to him on a moan and he slipped inside. He poured his devotion into the melding of their mouths, trying to show her how important she was to him.
He ran his hand over her spine to settle at the dip above her ass. To avoid, slipping his fingers down the waistband of her pants, he tugged her closer, forcing her body to bend backward so he could continue kissing her.
Everything about her petite body appealed to him. She fit him, complemented him in ways he never knew needed a balance. Her smile lightened his world, her laugh eased the pain in his heart and her kisses delivered a passion he’d never known was possible.
He broke their wild kiss and gazed into the face of the female who’d succeeded in capturing him. His mate. His world.
His love.
He wanted to tell her but he didn’t want to put her on the spot. Saying ‘I love you’ made the other person feel obligated to say the words back. She wasn’t ready. He could wait. They had time, just like she’d said. As long as he watched over her, she’d be safe.
He rubbed circles into her flesh with his thumbs. “Gods, sweetheart, you are the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen.”
She gave him a shy smile and tugged at his tee.
He gripped the hem to stop her. “What are you doing?”
“You said you want my lips. I’m giving them to you.”
With the heat flaring in her eyes, he suspected what she intended. “No, love. We don’t have time. We stopped to get dressed and—”
She shoved his shirt up without waiting for him to finish speaking. On her tiptoes, she kissed her way to the flat discs and nipped at the sensitive points until they stood erect for her. Satisfaction sparking in her eyes, she flashed a wicked grin then dropped to her knees. His denial got stuck in his throat at the sight of the hungry, dazed expression on her face as she eyed the bulge in his pants.
He panted, his body tightening in anticipation. While he’d worshipped her repeatedly, she’d never given him this. The one time she’d tried, he stopped her. He loved oral sex, both giving and receiving, but he wouldn’t have cared if Lena never returned the act. It was enough that she welcomed him into her body.
<
br /> With her hands on his stomach, she pushed and he stumbled. His back met the wall. Entranced, he watched as she popped the button on his jeans. The sound of his zipper descending nearly undid him. His erect shaft sprang free from its tight confinement.
“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” He asked even though he knew. He wanted to hear her voice.
“Fulfilling my fantasy.”
No. It was his, but it could wait.
He linked his fingers around her slender wrist. “Lena?” She met his gaze. “Don’t do this to prove something to me. You’re hurting. I know that. As long as you,” he paused considering his next words. Taking a chance he said, “As long as you promise not to up and leave me, I don’t need anything more.”
The smile that lit up her face slammed into him, left him unsteady on his feet. He widened his stance, pressed his back against the wall.
“I promise, Devin.”
He brushed the loose wisps of her hair away from her cheek. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes on a soft sigh before turning her attention to undressing him. With the utmost care, she removed his shoes and drew the denim down his legs. She urged him to step out of them. A flick of her wrist tossed it behind her while her gaze focused on his erect shaft.
Naked in front of his fully clothed female, he shuddered, a sensation of vulnerability washing over him. It was an odd reaction. He was a shifter, immensely stronger than the mortal, petite female at his feet, yet there was no denying the feeling. Lena had him right where she wanted him and going by the look on her face, knew it.
The softer emotions Lena stirred in him turned hotter as she traced the length of his calf with featherlight caresses. Each brush of her fingertips enflamed him more. He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation, sighing as she repeated the exploration on his other leg. The flaming trail reached the crease where thigh met groin. Her breath bathed the length of his penis. He shifted his hips, pushing his throbbing dick forward. She dropped her hands.
He snapped his eyes open but her head bent toward his jutting cock before he could complain about the loss of touch. Hair tickled the shaft and the wet swipe of her tongue along his upper thigh tore a groan from his chest. Blunt teeth nipped.
Beautiful Mistake: 2 (Royal Pride) Page 32