RopedHitchedandLassoed

by Ann Jacobs

  She laid a cheek against his forearm as they stroked Blue together. “You’ll have to get in line behind my little brothers. I doubt my ex will show his face again around these parts. He made me his slave, but he cringed at the thought of anybody dishing out any kind of pain to him.”

  She sat up and stared into the fire. “He did it because I let him. Because hurting me helped me come—to a point. He fed my need for punishment while he developed a finer and finer edge to his sadistic nature.”

  She must have heard that drivel in rehab. Her ex was a sadistic bastard. He’d been born that way, and that was the way he’d eventually die. Matt couldn’t help hoping Gareth would meet his end at the hand of a fellow prisoner he was bound to cross, sooner or later. As for Diana, it was obvious to Matt she’d wanted love and protection after having given up her own youth to raise her younger brothers. Somehow Gareth had appealed to her needs, sucked her into a relationship that had nearly destroyed her.

  While Matt had seen subs who got off on the need for punishment, he was willing to bet that, with the exception of a playful spanking now and then—that made his cock harden to think about doing that to her—Diana mainly enjoyed the psychological feeling of being taken over, controlled for her pleasure. Not harmed, and definitely not humiliated.

  He recalled her telling him years ago about the BDSM games she’d seen and heard her parents play, games her brothers apparently had been too young to understand. The idea that her mother had loved to sit on the floor in front of her dad after dinner, stroking his thighs at his command and laying her cheek over his lap had fascinated Diana. She’d even had him act out that scene with her and sensed her need to emulate the parents she’d lost too soon.

  Having seen Brad and Jared in action at Roped and Lassoed, Matt thought Diana had been wrong when she’d said they’d been too young to understand their parents’ lifestyle. Somewhere along the way, they had absorbed the need to dominate, while she had yearned for a man to control her. Unfortunately, Gareth had completely fucked her up about what BDSM was all about.

  As she recovered from the horrors he’d put her through, she’d had no one but her brothers, both hardcore lifestyle Doms, to relate to. For the first time, Matt felt a tendril of hope penetrate his unease with the idea of becoming her submissive. Maybe that wasn’t what she wanted at all. Maybe all he and she needed was each other.

  “You’re no masochist, sweetheart. You’re a beautiful woman I’d kill for the chance to take care of.”

  Her smile reinforced the hope inside him, but it was obvious when she spoke that she didn’t want to pursue his line of thought any further. “When we were kids you wanted to settle down, play football and have babies. Did you?”

  That question hit him in the gut. “I played in the NFL for eighteen years. The nearest I’ve come to settling down has been since I retired last February. No wives or exes. No kids. How about you?” He knew from the tremor that ran through her that he shouldn’t have asked.

  “I wish…no, it doesn’t do any good to look back. I haven’t been pregnant now for over five years. I lost it in the third month, just like I lost the other baby the first year Gareth and I were married.” Her shaking grew worse, made Blue jump off the couch and stare at Matt with what looked very much like a feline threat.

  “I’ll never hurt your mistress, big cat.” When he spoke, Blue dropped his guard and padded over to the hearth, where he curled up on a round cat pillow.

  When Diana’s trembling worsened, Matt couldn’t help clenching his fists. But now wasn’t the time to come on like the high-school bully, snarling and pounding his chest and committing all kinds of mayhem. Even though seeing her like this made him want to put his fists through someone. Something. Anything solid he could destroy. He eyed the solid-looking door to one side of the fireplace that probably led to a downstairs bedroom.

  When she looked up and met his gaze, her tears started flowing. Then came heart-wrenching sobs that tore at Matt’s heart. Diana needed comfort, not raw male fury or idle promises of retaliation against her tormentor who fortunately was out of easy reach. Matt took a deep breath, let love for her shove his anger from the forefront of his mind.

  Then he slid over to the spot Blue had vacated and took her in his arms. “It’s all right, honey,” he murmured, bringing her into the shelter of his body. Slowly, as he stroked her back, she began to melt into him, as if confirming her need for love and protection. As her tears subsided, she snuggled closer, confirming his earlier thoughts of what it was she really needed.

  “I hate being so weak. I’m forty years old. It’s too late…” Blue jumped up in Matt’s original spot, nuzzling Diana’s hand and earning a gentle scratch behind the ears.

  Matt recalled their lovemaking this morning. He hadn’t used a condom and she hadn’t suggested it. “Maybe not, sweetheart.” Or maybe her last miscarriage had damaged her, ended her hopes forever. The last thing he wanted was to rub in something Gareth might have done.

  He spoke slowly, wanting her to quit crying and consider other possibilities. “Even if it’s too late for us to make a baby, we’re plenty young, healthy and rich enough to adopt one. Hell, we can adopt as many as you want.”

  There. He’d told her as plainly as he could that he wanted her forever. That he’d take her as she was, squelch his need to control her, even go on his knees and be her sex slave if that was what she wanted. He wished she’d stop trembling, say something, even if it was just to tell him he’d lost his fucking mind.

  Diana could hardly believe it. Matt had just offered her the moon. To stand by her side, raise a family now when she’d long since abandoned hope.

  Maybe what was hard to believe was how easily she did believe it could happen. Her thoughts about him had been nearly constant while she was in the hospital and more so since her return. She’d cried buckets when she considered all they might have shared when they were younger. Matt had always been a loving, decent man, and she’d always been wildly attracted to him.

  Nothing much had changed in twenty-two years. They still had the passion—and the love—that had begun before it had the freedom to bloom. “Do you mean it?” she asked, almost afraid to hear his answer now that he’d had time to reconsider.

  “Yeah. I meant every word. Here, let me wipe away those tears before you flood Blue with them.” Very gently, he stroked her cheeks with his bandana then pretended to wipe down the cat’s coat as if she’d gotten it wet. “If you want me to, I’ll be your slave. Do whatever it takes to keep a smile on your beautiful face.”

  She wasn’t beautiful. Too many harsh Wyoming winters had done numbers on her skin, and there was nothing more she could do to get rid of the scars Gareth had left on her. The physical ones as well as the ones that had turned her into an anomaly, a woman afraid to trust even the kindest of lovers.

  But she trusted Matt. He saw her and saw beauty. He wanted her enough to let her take the lead. He even cared enough to promise her the child she’d always wanted, whether or not it shared their genes. “I’ll try,” she said quietly, doubts still swirling around her mind as memories of times gone by collided with hopes for a future with him. “Right now I just want you to help me ride out the storm.”

  “As I told you, your wish is my command.” Drawing her close, he took her mouth, pulling away only when Blue let out a screech and jumped off the couch. When Matt broke the sensual yet unthreatening kiss, she glanced at the hearth and saw Blue sitting there, an indignant scowl on his face that went well with his laid-back ears. “We don’t have to have a kid, come to think of it. Blue’s good enough for me. How about you?”

  “He’s my baby, all right. But I’d love to give him a brother or sister of the human persuasion.” Diana felt freer than she had in years. For once she didn’t beat down the hope that rose in her. “Maybe we can give it a try someday.”

  Matt squeezed her hand. “I’m game if you are. Did you realize we might have already done that this morning?”

  For the
first time she thought about having fucked him, giving no thought to protection at the time. “Oh no.”

  “Would you mind? I wouldn’t.”

  Things were moving too fast. Diana’s attempt at making a switch from slave to Domme wasn’t working. She wanted Matt to take her, exert the control he’d been demonstrating at the club last night. She needed his hands and mouth on her, his huge body dominating her, claiming her for his own.

  He needed that, too. She sensed deep down that he was no sub, any more than she was a Domme. And she couldn’t imagine him morphing into a sadistic master like her ex.

  But then, in the beginning, hadn’t she felt that way about Gareth? Then again, she hadn’t known Gareth nearly all her life, as she had Matt. And she and Matt had been together before, and he’d been every bit as loving and considerate then as he was now, a big, gentle brute of a man who’d never given her reason to feel a moment of fear. Diana realized any fear she’d felt in the time Matt had been with her today had simply been the greasy stain of Gareth lingering in her head.

  “If only…” If only they could go back in time, make love as equals the way they’d done so long ago…

  “We can do it, you know. Even if we don’t succeed, it will be fun trying.” He stood and held up his hand. “Take me upstairs and have your wicked way with me.”

  Chapter Five

  The snow kept falling, tiny diamonds in a fast darkening sky. Blue followed them upstairs, apparently not willing to let Diana out of his sight. The cat apparently sensed they were in for a storm. Animals could smell danger in the air, Matt remembered his grandfather saying one summer night long ago, when the horses had been practically tearing down their stalls during a vicious hailstorm.

  From all the signs outside, Matt figured they were in for a blizzard the likes of what he hadn’t seen for years. Lights flickered and went out, only to come back dimly a moment later. The fire he’d just started struggled to life, its feeble flame flickering in the small fireplace grate, illuminating the fear on Diana’s face.

  “We’ll be fine. This house has stood a hundred years or more. It’s not about to crumble now. Come here and let me hold you.” After he spoke the words, she snuggled closer, as if something he said made her loosen up inside. “You okay, hon?”

  “I’m mad. No, not at you. At myself. I’m no sniveling girl who’s never braved a storm. I spent a lot of years running this place, and before I crashed and burned I was a damn fine ranch manager. Brad even said so.”

  “It’s natural to be wary of storms like this one. Don’t beat yourself down over I,” Matt said, his tone reasonable. “I know you grew up here, and that you’re perfectly capable of handling the place on your own. But now you don’t have to.”

  “I know. And I thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me, Di. Just trust me.” Matt appreciated that the fear Gareth had planted in her had crept beyond the bonds of their relationship into doubting everything about herself. Those doubts gave her irrational insecurity about things she’d never feared before. “Your place has weathered far worse storms.” So, he realized, had she.

  They stretched out together on the big bed, Blue curling at their feet. The feel of her silky skin against him, the tickle of her breath on his chest, the closeness of the cocoon that kept them safe from the storm, even the cat’s loud purr in the silent room made him feel incredibly content. When she began to run her fingers over his pecs, his libido began to stir.

  He made himself be still so as not to spook her. No matter how he tried, though, he couldn’t believe his lover was a Domme. He had to admit, if only to himself, that the way she touched him had blood coursing through his veins, headed straight for his already half-hard cock even though she hadn’t touched him there. When she took his hand and set it on her belly, he took it as permission to make some explorations of his own.

  Her breasts were firm yet soft, the nipples small, almost virginal. He ringed them with a finger, amazed at the instant response. “You like that, don’t you?”

  “Oh, yes. I like you touching me almost as much as I like touching you.” She slid one hand lower, dragging it along his belly and outer thigh. “You’re so big. So strong. You should scare me, but for some reason you make me feel safe.”

  That had his sex at full attention, knowing he turned her on this way. Yeah, he’d had women want him because he symbolized mean and tough. He’d had them chasing him because they were football groupies. No one but Diana and his football coaches had made him particularly happy that he’d grown bigger than most men, strong enough to intimidate the most fearless opposing players. Strong enough to allay her fears. “I’m glad, sweetheart.”

  She lifted her head, planted a long, sweet kiss on his lips. “Come on over here. I want to feel you on me, in me.”

  He wasn’t about to deny her or himself. Being careful not to disturb Blue, Matt laid back the comforter and rolled over Diana. She was so tiny. So trusting now when before, she’d been afraid he’d cause her harm. Taking most of his weight on his sore shoulders and forearms, he bent and kissed her, a deep, wet kiss that left them both trembling with emotion. “You taste so damn good. Come on, tell me what you want.”

  No way would he risk spooking her now, when he was kneeling between her legs, his cock poised at the edge of paradise.

  She raised her hips in silent invitation, and he slid inside. Plain vanilla sex, no toys and no kink, yet she strained to meet his every thrust, dug her nails into his ass as he captured her lips again and tongue-fucked her mouth with the same slow rhythm he was using to make love with her. She moaned and wrapped her legs around his hips, holding on tight, silently begging for more.

  He needed her to come, like this, the way she’d exploded around him years ago when neither of them had known about the joys of oral sex, let alone the dozens of tricks that could drive them to limits they’d never known about back then.

  And he wanted to make her pregnant, give her the baby she’d always wanted. Not just to make up for not having stepped in and saved her from the horror that had been her life with her ex. He wanted to give her all she’d ever wanted, to love and protect her for the rest of their lives and feel secure in her love for him.

  What was it about her that had him ready to come at the slightest twitch of her hot, wet pussy surrounding his cock? He held on, determined that she’d climax first, needing to hear her little moans of satisfaction while he filled her with his life.

  She stiffened, threw her head back against the pillow and tightened her grip on his butt. “Don’t stop,” she cried when he paused. “Oh my God, I’m coming.” She clenched him so hard, he came in spurts that left him so drained he could barely manage to roll off her before collapsing on the bed.

  * * * * *

  She must have been asleep for hours when Matt’s satellite phone rang. She blinked then focused on the clock. Midnight. Awfully late for anybody to be calling. Good thing she’d had a replacement battery for him. Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to talk with anybody unless they happened to know Matt was here with a satellite unit that had been left unscathed by her calf. “Hello,” she said, speaking softly to keep from waking Matt.

  It was Jared, and he sounded sick with worry until Diana reassured him. She was all right. More than all right. For the first time in years she felt safe, protected. Matt snored softly at her side, and Blue purred between them. “I’m fine. Matt’s here. He got one of his stock men to come over and make sure the wranglers are taking care of the stock the way they’re supposed to. You just take care of Ninia and that almost-baby of yours.”

  She listened as he explained Brad had holed up at his place with the redhead he’d rescued from the storm as it blew in from the west and made the roads too treacherous to drive. “That’s good. At least he’s not all alone.”

  For a good while after they lost the connection, she lay there and watched the fire.

  So much had happened, good and bad. It had nearly killed her to see her baby brother come home mi
ssing the lower part of one leg, but Ninia had handed him back the confidence he’d lost. For a long time Diana had wondered if Brad would ever decide to grow up and settle down before some crazed bull killed him, but it seemed her worries might be over on that score.

  They came by their BDSM lifestyles honestly. Diana remembered her mom and dad playing Master-slave games she’d thought back then were things all moms and dads did. Brad and Jared had probably been too young to notice the subtle actions before Dad died, but like him, they indulged their need for danger and excitement. She guessed that since they chose activities where they couldn’t control the outcome, they must have gravitated toward BDSM in their sexual lives. Seeking control from women more eager to submit than Brad’s broncs and bulls, or the relentless enemy Jared had faced in the Middle East.

  Now it seemed they were finally growing up and building lasting relationships instead of passing encounters that answered their need for sexual control but not much else. Sexual submission came naturally to her, too, she reminded herself. She’d needed it so much, she’d gone on her own disastrous search for release that had only lasted until the pain subsided.

  Was that it? For the first time Diana asked herself the question. Brad, Jared, even Matt had implied it to her. Or had she traded her need to be loved and protected, after having to be everything to everybody for so long, for the sacrifice of pain and degradation? Her actions had been desperate, pathetic. The counselors had spent months tiptoeing around what she now saw as truth.

  But all Matt had to do was look at her for her body to liquefy. She didn’t feel any compulsion to have him hurt her. She just wanted him to take her, make love to her. Being here like this with him felt right. Stuck in a blizzard with only each other and one protective blue cat for company, she hadn’t wasted a moment worrying. Matt would take care of her.

  Her whole body tingled with the sensual memory of their lovemaking. For the first time in years, she’d climaxed without being hurt, either physically or emotionally.