by Zoey Derrick
I’m standing around with the guys when the back door opens, letting in a flood of sunlight, momentarily blinding me. Walking in the back door, leading the way is Addison, followed by Talon, Kyle and Raine. My heart skips a beat when I see her.
Eric and Calvin head straight for Addison and I can’t help but go straight for Raine.
“Hang on, guys,” Addison says and the next thing I know someone, Addison, is grabbing me by the ear and pulling me back, away from Raine. “Down boy.”
“Hey, come on, stop cockblocking me.”
“She’s my assistant,” she says as she lets my ear go. I look down at her. She’s much taller than Raine is, but still short compared to my six three. “She’s not for you to schmooze.”
I snort. “Schmooze? What are you, five?” I laugh. “And I’m not schmoozing, I’m working it.” I give her a look like, knock it off.
She shakes her head. “I hope she plays hard to get.”
“She already is,” I growl in frustration.
“Good, but she doesn’t need to be another notch in your bedpost, Dex.”
I lean down and tell her, “I want her to be the last notch in my bedpost.”
She looks a little shocked but she grins and whispers, “Prove it.”
“I’m trying,” I growl again. “Now stop blocking me.”
Addison bursts out laughing and I throw my arms around her, picking her up. “I’m so glad you’re back. Fucking missed ya, little mama.” She rolls her eyes at me. I don’t blame her, I sound like an idiot.
“Thanks for bringing him back.” She hugs me back and I squeeze her a little tighter.
“Anytime, now let me go. I got schmoozing to do,” I laugh and she punches my shoulder.
I just barely get to Raine when I hear the guys macking on Addison. I look over and something is a little bit different today about Mouse and Peacock. I shrug it off and turn to Raine, giving her my best smile. I watch as she quivers slightly, and not in a bad way.
“Tell Mouse, what?” I hear Talon ask.
I look over just as Peacock says, “That I’m gay.”
“About fucking time you admitted it, brother,” I say. There is a look exchanged between Peacock and Addison. Whatever, I shrug it off. I watch as Talon hugs Peacock.
“I know, Eric,” Talon says as he taps him on the chest. “But you know what?” Peacock shakes his head. “I’m glad you finally told me.”
We’ve all suspected Peacock to be gay, or at the very least bisexual since he doesn’t seem to have issues with women. I’ve seen him in action, but Talon’s right, he’s never actually come out and said it to anyone. I chalked it up to either being wrong, or letting him come out when he was ready.
“It doesn’t bother you?” Eric asks.
That’s when what I’ve been waiting weeks for actually happens. Talon grabs Kyle by the neck and kisses him. I can see Kyle’s face from where I’m standing and he’s momentarily taken aback. His eyes widen and I watch as he softens and melts into what Talon is doing to him. Raine pushes my jaw back together. “I have no room in my heart to judge you. You’re my brother, you’re my friend,” Talon says to Eric and they grab arms the way we all do.
“Oh crap” I hear Addison groan and I bite my tongue to stop from laughing as she scurries her way to the garbage can to hurl. I turn my attention back to Raine.
“Still mad at me?” I ask her and she scowls.
“I was never…well, okay, maybe I was.” She smiles. “Not at the moment,” she tells me and I stroke her cheek.
I walk over to Eric. “Just because you’ve finally come out, doesn’t mean it changes anything.” I smirk. “I will still tease you, I will still rib you, and I will do my best to keep it strictly to girl ribbing.”
“You’re a dick, dude.” I laugh with him.
“No, you need a dick,” I tell him.
“I think it might be you who needs one.”
I grab my dick through my jeans. “Got one right here.” We both laugh.
My breathing is ragged and my head is getting dizzy.
You’d think he was kissing me, but no. Instead I am standing backstage while 69 Bottles performs an amazing show. I can’t take my eyes off of Dex. Jesus, he’s so fucking gorgeous. Watching him move, watching his hands fly across his drums, his legs bouncing, fuck me, he’s so fucking gorgeous.
“Pretty epic, isn’t it?” Addison asks from behind me. Kyle is behind her and I step back so that we can talk a little easier.
“I’ve never…I don’t have words,” I say, flushed. Addison gives me a knowing little chuckle.
She leans into me. “Are we talking about the band or Dex?” she asks me and I flush scarlet. “That’s what I thought. The man is a fucking machine. I’ve never seen anyone play the way that he does.”
“That makes two of us.”
I go back to watching. He’s glistening in the lights. Sweat has matted down his hair. He’s still quite possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and I realize now that I was stupid to think that I could do this job without letting my feelings get too attached. Yup, we aren’t even on the road yet and I’m already drooling all over him. I should go, I should leave before he comes off stage, but I don’t think I can move.
I don’t get a chance to make an escape because they’re coming for Addison with her mic. She still has her duet with Talon to do, the new one, ‘To Be Free’. It’s the song they were recording on Tuesday. Because they added the drum in the studio, I wonder if they will do it here. As they wrap up their current song, the lights dim out, covering the guys and leaving Talon the focus of everyone’s attention. The next thing I notice is Peacock and Mouse are coming off the stage, followed by Dex, then Kyle is kissing Addison and jealousy rockets through me. I want to be here, though not with Kyle. No, I want to be here with Dex.
I want to be the girl he kisses before shows. I want to be the one he walks off stage to during their break, I want to be the one who he goes to bed with at night. It’s stupid of me to want something that I know is impossible to have.
The guys high-five each other and Kyle and I watch, just leaning back, keeping to the shadows, hoping to just be nosy and eavesdrop and not be noticed.
I watch as Dex grabs a fresh, cold bottle of water from the bucket. He downs it in two gulps. His body is covered in sweat and I wonder why the shirt, why not go shirtless. But no matter, the view has my blood heating. When that bottle is gone, he grabs another one, doing the same. By the third, he’s slowing down.
Talon and Addison have just now begun their performance and the guys all turn toward the stage to watch. I immediately see why Cami is so interested in her. Sure, I’ve seen the videos. Boy, have I ever seen those videos, but there nothing compared to what it’s like to watch her onstage. There is a deep connection between her and Talon and it shows. Her voice is positively amazing and her stage presence, through the progression of videos, has gotten better with each performance.
I feel eyes on me. I look around to find Dex staring at me. He’s got a small smile on his face and I wonder what it is that he’s thinking about while he watches me. I know I’ve probably turned his head tonight. In fact, it’s what I was going for. I’m wearing my torn up jeans, my own version of shit kickers and an old sweatshirt, cut up and hanging off my shoulder, exposing part of my tattoo, the ugly part, well, not really but that’s what’s there. Under the sweatshirt is just a purple a-shirt tank top. It’s nothing special, but the jeans hug my curves and the sweatshirt is short so my ass is on full display.
I look back to the stage and watch Addison and Talon sing their song. Thinking about what Cami had told me today. She told me to go shopping, buy some more clothes for going on the road. I told her that it would be cheaper for me to fly back to California, pack my clothes and then fly back. She told me to shut up and go shopping. So I’m planning on doing just that.
I can still feel Dex watching me and my nipples harden. My attraction to him has got to stop. I was supposed to purge
him from my system. Realize what an assholian he really is and move on, but yet all I can think about is wrapping my legs around him while he slides into me. My mouth goes slack and my breathing falters. “If you want another round, all you have to do is ask.”
I jump. Too caught up in my own thoughts to realize that he’d moved in behind me. “No, thank you,” I state.
“Then stop thinking about me between your legs.” I whip my head around to look at him. “Years of being a manwhore have taught me one thing, sweetheart.” There’s that word again and my blood runs cold. Amped up libido wiped out. “I can read women better than they can read themselves.”
“I doubt that,” I retort.
“Oh really?”
“Yes, because if you can read women, you’d know that you were a few short seconds away from another round with my knee.”
He growls in my ear and backs off. I turn and walk toward the back door of the arena the moment that Talon and Addison wrap up. Giving him absolutely no time to follow after me.
“Raine,” he shouts, and I ignore him. Then I hear it, his feet hitting the concrete of the floor. “I won’t grab you, so please, stop,” He calls after me. I stop. With my back still to him, he slides up right behind me. “I have less than thirty seconds, but I’m going to tell you this. Do not leave.”
“Give me one reason to stay.”
“We need to talk,” he breathes and I feel his presence leave mine as he goes back toward the stage. I turn around just in time to see him step back onto the stage for the last little bit of their set. I turn back and crash through the door. Once I’m clear, I put my hands on my knees, breathing heavily.
Why does he do this to me? How does he do this to me? One minute it’s sweet, the next minute I want to knee him in the balls. Why am I so offended by ‘sweetheart’? It’s a term of endearment, but coming off of his lips, he makes it sound like sweetheart means hooker, whore or prostitute and I hate it so much. I shouldn’t have let it bother me, especially when you consider the fact that he was talking about being a manwhore. I’d detach myself too. I’ve got to stop acting like this when it comes to him.
My phone vibrates with an incoming unknown caller.
“Hello?”
“About fucking time you answer my call.”
“Excuse me? Who is this?” I look again at the phone, but it still says unknown caller.
There is an exasperated huff on the other end of the line. “We need to talk.” The man is gritting his teeth, but it’s not Dex. “I’m on my way over.”
“Who the hell is this?” I say again, not understanding who this person might be, but oddly familiar.
“Stop playing games with me, teddy bear.”
I nearly drop my phone. “How did you get this number, Michael?”
“I have my sources. Answer your fucking door,” he growls into the phone. I hang up. My hands are shaking.
“Raine?” I look up to see Rusty coming toward me. “Raine, what’s wrong?” He comes to stand close to me. I shake my head. “You’re as white as a ghost,” he tells me and I nearly collapse.
“Um, I…” I hand him my phone. “I need to call the police. In Los Angeles.”
“What? Why?”
“Someone…someone is at my door to my apartment and…” My voice is shaking so hard. “He…I don’t know what he’ll do if I don’t answer.”
“Why didn’t you tell him you weren’t home?”
Why didn’t I tell him… “Because he isn’t supposed to have this number.” The numb fog is fading. “I changed my number, the only thing I haven’t been able to do is move. I was afraid he wouldn’t believe me.” My hands are still shaking.
Rusty withdraws his phone from his pocket and talks to someone through his headset. “I’ve got her now. We’re outside. Can you get me her address?” He pauses. “No, text. The California address.” There is another pause and his hands come to rub along my arms, comforting me. “Great, thanks.” Just then his phone chimes. “Raine?” I look up at him. “Let’s get you inside, all right?” I nod and he helps me inside. He takes me into one of the dressing rooms where he sits me down on the couch.
He goes to his phone, and pulls up a number. “Ryan, hey, it’s Rusty…not much, listen, I need a huge favor…no, I’m in New York. Look, one of my girls…no, now stop, I’m being serious…yeah yeah, look, she’s got someone who’s pounding on her door there in LA, she’s here with me. The guy’s a nut job.” He can say that again. “We’re not sure what he’ll do when she doesn’t answer the door and she didn’t tell him that she was out of town.” There’s a long pause filled in only with ‘yes’ and ‘mmhmm’ on Rusty’s end of the phone call. “Thanks, Ryan. Let me know?…Great, thanks.” Rusty ends his call and I can hear the band wrapping up their set. I cross my fingers for an encore to buy me a little bit more time, a chance to escape.
There’s a knock on the door and Rusty answers it. Mills is standing on the other side and the crowd noise comes through as they shout for more. Mills steps inside and shuts the door, shutting out the noise. “You okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah, it’s all so stupid.”
“Nothing is ever stupid. Never hesitate to tell us anything, we will do anything we can from wherever we are,” Mills says as he kneels down in front of me. “Can you tell me about this guy?” he asks sweetly.
I nod and fill him in on Michael, what little I know. He’s never acted like this. I tell him about our relationship, how it ended and then finally my last run in with him outside the bar the night of Kansas City. “I don’t think he’d really do anything, but I’m really not there to stop him.”
Mills smiles, “I would hope that even had you been there, you would have called the police.”
“I would have. I was going to; Rusty just beat me to it. Though I don’t know if they would have listened to me or acted in enough time.”
“No, they wouldn’t have,” Mills states matter of fact. “Is there someone in LA that can watch over your house, stay there or…”
“No one to stay there, I won’t subject anyone else to him. But I can have the house checked on every couple of days,” I tell him, thinking about Erica. “I can call her right now.” I look at my watch, it’s nearly eleven here, but not yet eight out there.
“Do that,” Rusty says. “Make sure she stays away from the house tonight.”
I nod and grab my phone. It starts to ring again. Unknown number. “It’s him.” I look up to Rusty and Mills, terrified. I reject the call.
“Call Erica, then we’re going to call and have your number changed.”
I groan. I’d just gotten everything updated. Rusty chuckles. “You’re right,” I finally agree and I pull up Erica’s name and press the phone icon. After three rings, she answers the phone.
“What is up, buttercup?”
“You’ll kill me when I tell you where I am.” I smirk.
“Where?” she says excitedly.
“Back stage at a 69 Bottles concert.”
She screams so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear. Mills and Rusty both laugh. “You bitch,” she says.
I roll my eyes. “Look, there is actually a purpose for my call.”
“You can’t tell me something like that and then not tell me details,” she says.
“I know, but I don’t have a lot of time before I need to get going and I need a really huge favor.”
“For backstage access to 69 Bottles, you can have my first born.”
“Deal. But instead, I need you to check on my apartment for me.”
“Why?”
“Because I am going on the road with the band.”
“You bitch,” she says again.
“Look, Michael is causing me some problems. He’s supposedly pounding down my door at the apartment. We’ve called the cops to go over there tonight, but honestly, Erica, I don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“That fucking moron,” she says into the phone. “I can do that. I have your other k
ey, do you want me to check inside too?”
Mills and Rusty shake their heads because they can hear her. “No, not really. Just swing by, take a look from the outside, if anything looks off, let me know. Don’t stop by every day or anything. I don’t want him to see you and catch on either. But if you see him lurking around, call the cops.”
“I’ll hook her up with Ryan’s information,” Rusty whispers.
“Reeka - I’ll send you a phone number, a contact the security guys here have. You can call him rather than nine-one-one.”
“All right, you sure you’re okay?” she asks me.
“Yeah, baby, I’m perfectly fine. I just don’t want anything to happen to my apartment. Listen, I have the majority of my stuff in a fireproof safe in the closet. It’s too heavy to move, so leave that, but…”
“You want me to grab some stuff.”
“Yeah. I will email you the list tomorrow.”
“All right, sweet-cheeks. Anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good for now.”
“Don’t forget my tickets.”
I laugh. “They’re in LA in a few weeks, I’ll get you passes.”
“Ohmygod, Iloveyou,” she says in a garbled mess of excitement.
“Gotta run.”
“Okay, bye.”
We hang up and I take a long deep breath.
Well, fuck. I knew she’d…damn it. I wish she wouldn’t have done that. I owe her an apology. It took me all of three seconds to figure out what I did.
“We ready?” Talon says.
We all nod. “Let’s do it!” Mouse says and we retake the stage. My arms are burning, my legs are killing me and my hands hurt. But they’re calling for it. I step back onto the stage and sit down behind my set. The replacement set turned out to be pretty decent. But they won’t last the tour. I’ll be lucky if they make it through the three shows here in New York.
I flip the sticks in my hands and start to tap out the next song and the roar of the crowd gets me going a little bit. But not enough. Not until I feel a certain pair of eyes on me. She’s been watching me all night. I’ve felt her all night and I’ve fed off of the feeling of her watching me. There’s something spectacular about knowing that someone is watching you and you alone. Anytime I capture her in my peripheral, it sends a thrill through me and it’s fucking driving me mad. I need to get laid. I wonder if I need to stick it in someone else and get over her, but the idea of someone else sends chills up my spine.