Allegra's Shadow

by Dana Sanders Hill

  #

  Choke on that, you bastard.

  Thomas glanced in the rearview mirror, his face set in a vicious expression. He never liked his cousin because Anthony was the first-born grandson, he was strong-willed and good-looking, and he was poor. Thomas’s mother taught him not to associate with poor people, but then she decided to take Anthony in, even though she didn’t like him either. Angry, he asked her why she changed her mind. All she said was, “What goes around, comes around.” Her ambiguous answer intensified his dislike for Anthony, which turned into hatred the first night his cousin moved in. That ghetto trash had the nerve to hit Thomas, when all he did was tell Anthony the truth about his alcoholic mother. But Thomas and his mother made him pay for that indignity…

  As for Mariah, she was alright to look at, but her only assets were a nice butt and a pair of lips that should’ve belonged to a porn star. He really didn’t care about her, except to ruin Anthony’s chances of getting in her pants. He considered that a public service.

  #

  The air was cool and the clouds obscured the moon as Anthony pulled up into the driveway beside Mariah’s Nissan.

  As he approached the front door, Anthony turned down the collar of his charcoal gray cloth shirt and unfastened the two top buttons at his throat. Tonight was a turning point in their relationship. He could feel it. Some things were going to be said, things Mariah probably didn’t want to hear – like the kiss they shared, and how it was more than a kiss for both of them. He had to be ready to counter her objections with words, and actions.

  When he knocked on the door and Mariah opened it, a chill black silence greeted him, sending alarm bells ringing. His stomach churned, but his voice remained composed. “What happened?”

  “Thomas was here, and he told me some things.”

  Anthony’s expression was a mask of stone, but he inside he seethed. “Are you going to let me in or are we just going to talk here?”

  After a few moments of deliberation, Mariah stepped back.

  Anthony let out of breath of relief. At least she didn’t slam the door in his face. He followed her into the house, each stride fluid.

  The moment he closed the door, Mariah faced him. “You don’t owe me any explanations,” she said, her voice firm, decisive. “It’s not like we’re dating or anything.”

  Anthony walked forward, the soles of his shoes moving across the floor until he stood two feet from her. The material of his dark steel flat front trousers bunched and loosened with each step.

  “What did he say?”

  Mariah took a step back from Anthony’s nearness. “That you propositioned Allegra.”

  “That’s a lie. She hit on me.”

  Mariah shrugged and managed to say, “She was an aggressive woman, and a man like you would have to keep women back with a whip.”

  He stroked his chin and moved forward a step. “It happened a few weeks after I moved back. It was Ms. D’s birthday and I came over to bring a gift and take her out to dinner. Allegra was already there and Ms. D went to her room to change clothes.”

  Anthony spun around when Allegra’s hand squeezed his butt. “What is wrong with you?” he whispered, his brows drawing together in an angry frown.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never had your butt squeezed before? It’s such a nice, tight one.” There was a faint glint of humor in her eyes.

  “Have some respect. Your grandmother’s in the next room.”

  “Anthony, we’re not strangers, and it’s just sex. What’s the problem?”

  “You’re dating my cousin.”

  “We’re not exclusive…”

  “I don’t care. You –”

  Allegra molded her curves to his powerfully built physique and planted her lips on his. She attempted to twine her arms around his neck, but Anthony halted her with an iron grip on her shoulders, firmly setting her away from him. His face became a marble image of contempt. “Back off, Allegra. I mean it.” He released her.

  Sudden, brief anger lit her eyes, and she attempted to cover it with a mocking smile. “Suit yourself. Gran D,” she called out as she watched Anthony, “I’m leaving now.”

  Hands shifted into his pockets. “Next thing I know; Thomas is calling me – he probably got my number from Thomasina or found it through the Internet. He warned me to stay away from his woman.” A shrug. “I told I’ve never wanted any woman he’s touched and hung up.”

  After a moment, Mariah murmured, “I can believe that. He claims you’ve tried to steal women from him in the past.” Mariah kept her eyes on Anthony, maintaining her distance as she slowly backed her way toward the kitchen.

  Anthony continued to follow Mariah, ensuring that only two feet remained between them. “That lying… It was the other way around, and sometimes he was successful.” Wolf eyes narrowed as he stared at Mariah. “Some women don’t want to be with me.”

  Mariah cleared her throat. Her hip nearly hit the table.

  “So what did he want?”

  Mariah took a deep breath. “To pick up Allegra’s things.”

  Tired of talking about Allegra and Thomas, Anthony lifted his head and sniffed the air. “Smells good in here.”

  Mariah nodded, grateful for the change of subject. “Thanks. I hope you like blue fish. Pull up a chair.”

  #

  Thomasina rose until she met her reflection in the mirror, and grimaced. She topped one-seventy on the scale, but since Allegra’s death she’d lost weight and appeared haggard.

  Good thing she worked from home. She’d never been pretty, but looking as she did now, she’d scare her co-workers. Wiping her mouth on her paisley pajama sleeve, Thomasina left the bathroom and headed back to bed. She wasn’t there long when she heard a thunderous knock at the door.

  “What in the world…?” Her brows pulled into an affronted frown as she went downstairs. She looked through the peephole, sighed and opened the door. She wasn’t going back to bed anytime soon.

  “Here,” Thomas said without preamble, pulling two trunks into her first-floor Northwest Raleigh condo and dropping them in the living room.

  Thomasina blinked in dazed exasperation. “What is….?” She closed the door.

  “I saved you a trip.”

  Her gaze landed on the trunks and realization dawned on her. “Oh.” Her eyes came up to study her older brother’s face. A satanic smile spread across his full lips, and there was only one other person who could put it there. “Thomas -”

  “I got him.”

  Thomasina knew who “him” was. “Oh, no. What did you do?”

  #

  Back at Allegra’s, Anthony enjoyed his meal, even asked for seconds. When he and Mariah were finished, he offered his assistance with cleaning up. But despite their peaceful rapport, the previous conversation hung in the air between them like a fine mist. Mariah had to dispel it somehow. She knew it was unwise, but she couldn’t help asking, “Did you ever want Allegra?”

  Anthony placed the last dish in the drain with deliberate slowness, then gave Mariah a black layered look. “Don’t ask me about her anymore.”

  Rapid anger lit her eyes. “Why not?”

  “Bringing her up is a smoke screen, just a way to avoid talking about us.”

  “Us? There is no ‘us’.”

  “Really?” His amber stare impaled her.

  “Are you serious?” Mariah sputtered. “You kiss me once and I’m supposed to assume–”

  Before she could blink Anthony was upon her, boxing her in, so close he left her no room to move. Her heated retort hardened his features, casting his scars in sharp relief. “It was more than that and you know it.”

  Odd-colored eyes became slits as Mariah leaned away from him, the counter digging into the small of her back when she tried to put a little distance between her and his unbelievably warm physique. “I don’t know any such thing,” she lied.

  “Is that right?” he disputed evenly as he tilted closer, taking advantage of Mariah’s withdrawal. That o
cher-tinted gaze slid down to those unique lips before he moved in for the kill.

  Large, square hands cupped her cheeks and jaw as his tongue delved into her mouth, demanding access, giving heat. Pleasure radiated outward and Mariah’s eyes drifted shut – in spite of herself – as she curled into the curve of his frame.

  Anthony lifted his head. “I never liked Allegra. I never wanted Allegra,” he whispered, his lips brushing her as he spoke. “Ever.”

  Elation spiked inside Mariah at his words. She knew that. She just wanted reassurance.

  Anthony’s forefinger traced the line of her cheekbone and jaw, curving under her chin. Then he captured her top lip between his, sliding his tongue across its soft texture, sending shivers of desire racing through Mariah, before his mouth covered hers.

  Mariah’s arms encircled his neck. His kiss was slow, thoughtful this time, melting her resolve. One hand explored the soft lines of her back, her waist, her hips, arching her into his body, the other slipped around the back of her neck. He left her lips burning with fire and nuzzled her earlobe before capturing it in his warm mouth and stroking it with his tongue. Mariah’s body felt like half ice and half flame and she moaned low in her throat. She never realized how sensitive her earlobes were until Anthony came into her life.

  Reclaiming her lips, Anthony crushed her to him, his mouth moving over hers with arousing precision. Mariah’s trembling limbs clung to him as she returned his kiss with reckless abandon. When he pulled away, Mariah opened her eyes, trying to fight her way out of the sensual mist. The harsh, uneven rhythm of their breathing filled the air, and his royal face displayed an uncanny awareness as he looked down at her, his eyes smoldering with fire. “It’s time to stop running, Mariah. From everything.”

  #

  The time between leaving the house and entering Anthony’s home was a blur. Mariah didn’t even hear his front door shut when he clasped her body to his, taking her mouth with almost-savage intensity. Mariah put her arms around Anthony’s neck, and returned his kisses with reckless abandon. Her heart hammered in her ears. She’d never felt so desired, so wanted in her life, and it was exhilarating.

  His hands moved down the sides of her body to her thighs, then back up to her waist. Without warning, he circled one arm around her back, the other under her butt, and lifted. Mariah’s breath caught in her throat as she felt her wedges clear the floor and lock around his waist. Breaking off the kiss, Anthony stared into her face. Mariah raised her thick, black lashes and it took her a moment to realize where Anthony was going.

  “Stay,” his voice rang with command. Mariah jerked, and then understood the command was for Ming. Before she knew it, Anthony flicked on the light switch, closed his bedroom door with the heel of his shoe and eased her down onto the bed, resting her head against a firm pillow.

  His mouth swooped down to capture hers, his kisses sending spirals of excitement through Mariah and she twined her arms around his neck. He rolled, taking her with him so that she wound up on top, her legs on either side of his hips. He raised Mariah’s tunic over her head, tossing it into a corner by the door. His kiss became insistent and exploratory. His touch was light and teasing as his fingers slid under her bra straps, easing them down off her shoulders. Large, warm hands moved to unhook the front clasp, but the second Mariah felt his fingers brush against the bare skin of her chest, she gasped, realizing a jolt of panic.

  Mariah sat up like a shot and crisscrossed her arms over her chest, shielding her lace-covered breasts from view, the bra straps falling to the middle of her arms. Anthony’s glance dropped from her eyes to her arms and back again. Mariah felt her composure crumble and bit her lip, looking away.

  “What?” he asked as he sat up, his voice as soft as a caress. Broad, sculpted shoulders heaved with unquenched longing.

  Mariah’s mind burned with the memories of Terry, and past insecurities rushed to the surface. “I-I can’t do this,” she spoke in a tremulous voice. “I’m sorry.” Keeping both hands across her chest, she attempted to move off his lap, but Anthony was too fast for her. He wrapped both hands around her waist, his fingertips meeting at the small of her back, holding her stationary.

  “Don’t be sorry,” he rasped with gentle emphasis. “Just talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  Mariah blinked several times, feeling lightheaded. Her eyes darted around the room in embarrassment and her chin lowered. “I haven’t been with a man in six years,” she admitted, her voice unsteady. She looked up at Anthony.

  Amazement flared in his gaze, and he didn’t speak.

  With a moan of distress, Mariah tried to move off his lap again, but he locked his fingers at her spine so she couldn’t escape.

  “What happened?” His eyes now brimmed with tenderness.

  Mariah mistook the look he gave her for pity and shook her head. “Forget it,” she murmured and fidgeted, shielding her breasts with one arm while her other hand reached around and tried to dislodge his fingers. “Take me back.”

  Anthony tightened his hold. “So you can sit in the dark and brood?”

  Mariah bent backwards, moved her free hand to his shoulder, and pushed. It was like trying to move granite. “Anthony.”

  “That’s the second time you’ve said my name,” he mused as she continued to fidget in his arms. His eyes roamed over her face. “Do you remember the first time?”

  Heat stole into Mariah’s cheeks. She ceased her efforts to catch her breath. “Let me go,” she demanded her voice hoarse with shame and fatigue.

  “Talk to me.”

  Mariah’s eyes flashed and she resumed her struggles.

  “I can do this all night,” he remarked.

  Mariah stopped, silently cursing his superior strength and tenacity, her chest rising and falling. She slid her fingers from the curve of his shoulder to the back of his neck, her eyes narrowed and those ripe upside-down lips thinned into a mutinous line.

  Heeding the warning voice that whispered inside his brain, Anthony dodged the oncoming head-butt and rolled, bringing Mariah underneath him. Her hips cradled him, and her hands were over her head, trapped by both of his.

  Shock yielded to fury and desperation. “Let me go.” Mariah’s head thrashed from side to side on the pillow, flinging her hair over her eyes. She dug her wedges into the bed in an attempt to displace him. The only thing she succeeded in doing was pressing him against her softness.

  Anthony took in a swift breath. “Stop, Mariah.”

  It took less than a minute before Mariah gave up. Winded, energy spent, she closed her eyes, feeling defeated and miserable.

  Anthony released her arms and she felt his fingers push the hair away from her face and eyes. A gentle kiss brushed across her forehead and his warm breath caressed her temple. “Talk to me,” he urged his voice uncompromising yet reassuring. “If you tell your story, it won’t have power over you anymore.” His hands slid down until they rested near her hips.

  Mariah crisscrossed her arms over her breasts. When she finally lifted her eyes, raw hurt glittered in them. “I married my father,” her voice broke.

  Anthony’s levered downward. “What do you mean?”

  She gave a choked, hollow laugh. “My father didn’t love me, and neither did Terry.”

  Anthony heard tidbits about how the late Robert St. Cloud favored Allegra, but nothing to this degree. “What happened?”

  Mariah’s throat ached with despair, but she forced the words past her lips. “I met Terry when I was twenty-four, and my social life revolved around school, like it does now. He was older, thirty-eight. I was looking for an apartment and he was the listing agent. He was friendly enough, not too pushy, but there was something…oily about him. I suspected as much, but he charmed me. I had little dating experience and I didn’t listen to my instincts.

  “A few weeks after I got my apartment, he called and asked me out. He was persistent and a few months later I finally gave in.” Her voice faded a little. “Then my father died. I was raw, vulnerable a
nd grieving, and that’s when Terry pounced on me like a bird of prey. He tried to get me to move in with him, but I kept my apartment until we married. Mom, my best friends, Solé and Mark– they tried to warn me, but…he was there for me; made himself available when I needed him. Terry was my first love. I finally had a man who loved me. Or so I thought.”

  “And what did he get in return?”

  “A virginal, twenty-six-year old bride. Terry was good-looking, charismatic, take charge. Like my father, like Allegra.” She gave Anthony a wry glance. “Kind of like you, too, but he lacked your protectiveness and sincerity.” She grimaced. “I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out during the honeymoon…”

  Mariah watched as Terry loomed, his fingers untying the belt of his robe. Her stomach churned with anxiety and expectation. Her first sexual experience was going to be with her husband. His eyes slid to her pink lingerie and his mouth softened as he approached, dropping the robe in a nearby chair. Mariah clenched her hand until her nails created crescents in the blankets as Terry came closer.

  He was a handsome man, with skin the color of bronze that magnified his ebony eyes. He was large-boned of average height, with muscular arms and a powerful chest. His hands, big and square, reached for the cover, trying to pull it back.

  One corner of his mouth twisted upward. “Mariah, baby. I’ll take care of you, but you’ve got to relax.”

  Mariah managed a wobbly smile, releasing the blanket one finger at a time. She slid down until her spine touched the mattress, her fingers fluttering as she rested them across her stomach.

  Terry wasted no time climbing on top of her, his mouth covering hers. A soft gasp escaped her. Mariah’s fingers tightened on his biceps. He’d kissed her numerous times, and the experience was always pleasant, but it was never like this.

  He’d always been gentle, now his lips were hard and searching. Mariah tried to keep her fragile control. Tearing her lips away from his, she gasped, “Terry. Wait.”

  “What’s wrong, baby?” He retained his affability, but there was a subtle hardening of his eyes. Mariah chalked it up to being celibate for almost two years. They’d never even gotten to second base.