by Jodi McIsaac
“Even if it is, we can’t do nothing,” Cedar protested. “We need to make sure they’re okay. And while we’re there I think we should talk to Nevan. She once told me that people can learn how to block her telepathic ability. Maybe she can teach Eden how to keep her mind closed to Nuala.”
Finn frowned. “That’s the thing—Eden should already be able to block Nuala. She’s a closer—there’s no way Nuala should be able to get into her head like this.”
There was another heavy moment of silence, and then Liam cleared his throat and said, “Maybe it’s not her, it’s her druids. Closers like you and your daughter are immune to the abilities of the other Danann. But druid magic works differently. If Maeve really did use this spell to link Eden and Nuala, it may have created a bond that’s stronger than Eden’s natural resistance to Nuala’s ability, making her more susceptible to Nuala… and her druids.”
“Whatever it is, we need to check on the others and talk to Nevan,” Cedar said. “We can’t afford to stop looking for the Lia Fáil for long, but if she comes with us, she might be able to teach Eden how to block Nuala out. And I think we should all go—we can’t afford to split up if the druids are still after us. How is Jane?” she asked Felix.
“She’s doing very well,” he said. “She’s still sleeping on the sofa, and her healing is almost complete. But I don’t want to move her yet. I should stay here with her.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Liam said. “And I’ll put some defensive spells around the house, just in case. But I don’t think she’ll be in any danger. She’s not their target.”
“I think we should wait,” Finn said firmly. “Just for a few hours. You and Eden have both been through an ordeal. And you’ve hardly slept.”
“But—” Cedar started to protest. Finn cut her off.
“You can’t go without food and sleep all day and all night,” he said. “And neither can Eden. Just sleep for a few hours. Let your body recover. That’s all I ask.”
Cedar wanted to argue, but Finn had that look on his face that told her he wouldn’t back down lightly. “Fine,” she said. “Then we’ll go.”
Felix and Liam excused themselves from the room, and Cedar settled back into the pillows. Eden snuggled into her on one side, and Finn on the other. Cedar stared at the ceiling. Her body was exhausted, but her mind was reeling. How could she sleep when Nuala might be rounding up her friends at this very moment and plotting her next attack on Eden’s mind? And they were still no closer to finding the Lia Fáil. She lay there for several minutes before sitting up and sliding out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Finn asked sleepily.
“I’m going to make a cup of tea,” Cedar said. “It might help my mind stop whirring.” She tiptoed into the kitchen, where she found Liam sitting alone at the table, his long fingers wrapped around a steaming mug. Next to it was an empty mug and a full teapot.
“I was hoping you’d come,” he said in an undertone.
“You were?” Cedar asked, confused.
“You need to sleep,” Liam said. “But I also know that there’s a lot weighing on your mind. Just as there is on mine.”
“Yes,” Cedar agreed. “I just keep thinking… what if we don’t find it?”
“You’ll find it,” Liam said. “You’re just like your mother—Maeve, that is. When she set her mind to something, there was no stopping her.”
Cedar sat down across from him, and he poured her a cup of tea. She fingered the charm bracelet on her wrist, the one that had belonged to Maeve. She wondered what the charms had meant to her adoptive mother, if there was a story behind each one. “I feel like I hardly knew her at all,” Cedar said. “I know she loved me, and I loved her, but we never really… clicked, you know? We were never close.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said. “She did love you, I’m sure of it. Otherwise she would have handed you over to Rohan when he and the others first came through the sidh, searching for Kier. But you look a lot like your father. I think you brought up a lot of complicated emotions for her.”
Cedar stared down into her tea. She had felt the same way about Eden at times, before Finn had returned. She loved Eden more than anything, but there had been times when her daughter would get a look in her eye or an expression on her face that reminded her so much of Finn she had to turn away. Now that he was back, she delighted in discovering all the things he and Eden had in common. But it hadn’t always been that way. And Eden was her own child… she couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to raise the daughter of a rival.
“Will you tell me about her?” she asked. “I’d like to hear about the Maeve you knew.”
Liam smiled sadly. “All right,” he said and paused for a moment. “She was a feisty thing. Very eager to learn, but insistent on doing things her way, which is definitely not the norm for druids, I must admit. She was only my second pupil, but the other one I’d had was a breeze compared to her.”
“Why did Brogan ask you to teach her?” Cedar wondered. “Did you know him?”
“I did not,” Liam answered. “I knew who he was, of course, but we had never met. Up until now, the druids and the Tuatha Dé Danann haven’t had much to do with each other for a very long time. We were happy with our lives on Earth, and the Danann rarely left Tír na nÓg anymore. When he came into my office at the university and told me who he was, I had a hard time believing him. Not that I doubted the existence of the Tuatha Dé Danann; rather, I wasn’t sure what he could want from me.”
“Wait a minute… how old are you?” Cedar asked. “That must have been almost forty years ago. You were already at the university then?”
Liam smiled, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “Let’s just say that I’m older than I look.”
“Are you immortal? Like the Tuatha Dé Danann?”
“No, no, nothing like that. Druids usually live longer than most humans, but no more than an additional human life span. There are certain spells and potions that can lengthen our lives.”
“Huh… I’m sorry for interrupting you. Please, continue.”
“Brogan told me he had a young friend, a human who was exceptionally bright and keen to study the druidic arts. I was intrigued by his offer, and once we had worked out the details, I took a leave from my job and went to live in an apartment in Halifax. He was quite adamant that I was never to stay at Maeve’s house,” he said with a wry smile.
“He didn’t trust you?”
“No, though he had no cause for worry. It was obvious that she loved him more than life.” Liam shook his head, lost in sad memories. “It was wrong, the way she loved him—it was an obsession. He enjoyed her, and treated her well, at least from what I could tell. But he never loved her the way she loved him.”
They sat in silence for a moment. Cedar swirled her spoon around in her half-empty cup. Liam’s was empty, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“I don’t know what his plans were for her,” he said, looking bewildered even after all these years. “She believed he would take her to Tír na nÓg once her training was complete. But I don’t know if he told her that or if it was just something he let her believe. I don’t think it was ever what he intended. He enjoyed having her here, away from his people, as his own escape from reality. But then why train her to be a druid? I asked him that question myself, but he always just said, ‘I have my reasons.’” Liam snorted in derision. “I was a blind fool then, but his reasons seem pretty clear to me now. He didn’t want her to have a normal life, lest she meet a human man and fall in love with him instead.”
Cedar put a comforting hand on his forearm. He looked up at her sharply, as if suddenly remembering her presence. He covered her hand with his own and smiled. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Sometimes I forget that it’s your father I’m talking about. As you can tell, we had our differences. I’m sure these aren’t the stories you were hoping to hear. There was much happiness during the years I knew her. I know that’s what I should be remembering.”
He laughed unexpectedly. “Such a soft heart, she had! When it came time to give her a lesson on divination using cat entrails, she refused to do it. I had brought a stray cat with me that I’d captured in an alley in Halifax. But she took the poor thing in and gave it food and water. She wouldn’t let me come near it. In the end we had to drive to the animal shelter to steal the body of a cat that had been put down. I told her it wouldn’t work as well, that a living animal always gives the clearest readings, but she would have none of it.” He smiled at the look on Cedar’s face. “I know it must seem barbaric, but these are the ways of the druids that have been passed down for centuries. It’s time-honored magic, even if it doesn’t fit so well with today’s mores.”
“I guess…,” Cedar said uncertainly. She filled up their mugs with more tea. “Was she funny at all?” she asked. “I just… I have such a hard time picturing her young and carefree.”
“Oh, I don’t think she was ever completely carefree, at least not after she met Brogan. She was always obsessing about when he would come to visit her next. She begged me to teach her how to stay young forever, but there is a certain order to these things, and it wasn’t yet time for me to share those secrets with her. But yes, she was funny. She had a wicked sense of humor and never seemed to take her lessons quite as seriously as I hoped she would. But she was so intensely curious—it was never enough to tell her to do something. She’d also want to know why I was asking her to do it, what she should expect, and all the various historical events that had led up to my request. She was like a sponge, always asking, always questioning, always learning. If she had continued her studies, I’m sure she would have become the greatest druid of us all.”
“Why did she stop?”
“Because he left, and it nearly killed her. And then you came along. Even if she’d wanted to keep learning, the druid training is very intensive, and there was no way she could keep it up with a newborn to care for, especially not alone. I offered to help, but… she wasn’t interested.” The look on his face suggested that it wasn’t just the training Maeve had rejected.
Liam squeezed Cedar’s hand, misinterpreting her troubled expression. “Don’t feel bad. You brought great joy to her. You and Eden both.”
After a few minutes Cedar excused herself to go back to bed. She could have listened to Liam’s stories all morning, but her eyelids were becoming unbearably heavy. She paused at the door of the kitchen and looked back at the man who was huddled over his cup of cold tea. She opened her mouth to ask a question but paused, not wanting to be rude.
“Yes,” he said with a slight smile.
“Yes?”
“Yes, I loved her. I know you’ve been wanting to ask. I love her still. It doesn’t stop with death.”
Cedar wished she had some words of comfort to offer him. She wished she could tell him that she was sure Maeve had loved him back in some way… but Maeve had never mentioned having a teacher or a friend or anyone at all in her life who fit Liam’s description. Even when Maeve had confessed the truth about Cedar’s background, she had never so much as mentioned Liam. The thought made Cedar sad. She had known Liam for only a short while, but she was growing very fond of him. She wondered what her life would have been like if Maeve had loved him in return. On impulse, she walked back to the table and wrapped her arms around Liam’s slumped shoulders.
“I think you would have made a wonderful father,” she said, kissing the top of his head. Then she turned and padded slowly down the hall and into the room where Finn and Eden slept and crawled in between them, thinking of family.
A few short hours later they were ready to go to Tír na nÓg. Cedar’s heart pounded nervously. “We should go in and out as secretly as possible,” she said. “Hopefully Nuala and the Council will never even know we were there.” It was already midmorning, and she was anxious to get moving, although nervous about what they might find there. She cast an anxious glance at Jane, who was still in a deep sleep on the sofa.
“Go,” Liam urged her. “I’ll look after her, don’t worry. Just make sure your friends are safe.”
Eden grabbed the knob on the closet door. “Where to?” she asked.
“How about your room in Tír na nÓg?” Cedar said. Eden’s eyes lit up, and she swung the door open. Felix went through first and paused for a moment, glancing around, before motioning for the others to follow. Cedar and Eden came through, with Finn right behind them. They were at the very top of Eden’s bedroom tree, beside the blue cushion that served as her bed. The sky above was a pale blue, with cotton candy clouds rimmed with pink and orange. For a moment, there was total silence. Then a voice ripped through Cedar’s mind with such force that she dropped to her knees. It was Nevan, and she was terrified.
CHAPTER 10
What is it?” Finn asked, grabbing Cedar’s arm and helping her to her feet.
“Nevan,” she gasped. “Something’s wrong.” She looked at Felix, who was frozen in place, every muscle in his body tense. “Can you hear it too?” He nodded tersely.
“What’s she saying? What’s wrong?” Finn asked. “Damn it, I hate not being able to hear her.”
“She’s not saying anything,” Cedar said. “She’s just… crying. How do we find her?” She headed toward the spiral staircase in the tree’s thick trunk. Then she stopped. Nevan was speaking to her.
Cedar? I know you can hear me, so that must mean you’re here. Go back to Ériu! It’s not safe here. They’ll be looking for you too.
Cedar turned and repeated Nevan’s words to Finn. Felix was still listening. Cedar assumed that Nevan must be talking to him as well. Then she heard the voice again.
They’ve taken him. They’ve taken Sam… they’ve taken everyone, and I don’t know where they are. I’m hidden, but I don’t know what’s happening with the others.
Cedar relayed this to Finn and watched his face grow red. “This is madness,” he said. “How can Nuala get away with this?”
“It might not be Nuala,” Felix answered. “It might be the Council.”
Cedar awaited some further communication from Nevan, but there was only silence. “Is she saying anything else to you?” she asked Felix.
He shook his head. “No. There’s nothing.”
“If only she had told us where she’s hiding—” Cedar said.
“I’ll go look for her,” Finn said. “The rest of you stay here.”
“I should come with you,” Cedar said, ignoring his frown. “You can’t hear her, but I can. I can tell you what she’s saying. How else would you find her?”
“No. It’s too dangerous,” Finn said. “I’ll be back as soon as I know anything.” With that, he gently moved Cedar aside and disappeared down the spiral stairs.
Cedar ignored him. “Eden, stay here with Felix,” she said. “I’ll be back soon.” She followed Finn down the twisting staircase, almost tripping in her hurry to catch up with him. When she reached the golden door that opened onto the willow-lined courtyard, she shoved it open. He was already on the far side of the courtyard. “Finn, wait!” she called.
“I told you to stay there,” he said.
“Yeah, well, I’m not very good at doing what I’m told. How do you expect to find her? She could be anywhere.”
“Not anywhere. I spent most of my childhood on the run, remember? I know all the good hiding spots.” His voice was laced with bitterness, and Cedar realized once again how little she knew of his childhood here in Tír na nÓg.
“I’m coming with you,” she said softly. “Nevan might tell me where she is.”
“Cedar, you know what happened the last time you ran into Nuala. And that was just in a dream. I know her, and she doesn’t like being backed into a corner. She plays dirty.”
Cedar didn’t like being reminded of how well Finn and Nuala knew each other. All of Finn’s friends and relatives had expected him to end up with Nuala someday, because he was the only available male who could never be influenced by her ability. She wondered, but had never da
red to ask, how far they had gone down the road of courtship before he’d realized he could never love her.
“Maybe Felix was right—maybe she’s just trying to distract us from finding the Lia Fáil, and there’s no real danger.” She hoped it was true.
“She must have bewitched the whole damn Council,” he said quietly.
“I don’t think there was any need,” Cedar said. “Most of them seemed pretty agreeable to her plan for Ériu. The only one who didn’t seem tempted by it was Gorman. I think it’s like you said before—it wasn’t just Lorcan who thought the way he did. The poison runs deeper than we’d thought.” She started pacing, trying to figure out how they could find the others without risking capture themselves. They were standing in front of the door that led to the common area. Finn pulled it open a crack, and then pushed it shut tightly. He nodded to himself without speaking.
“What—” Cedar started to say, but he motioned for her to be silent.
“I’m not letting you come with me. If I don’t come back,” he mouthed, so quietly she could barely hear him, “go back through the sidh. Find the Lia Fáil. It may be the only thing that can save us now.”
Cedar opened her mouth to protest, but it was too late. He was through the door in a second… and he slammed it behind him. Cedar ran to the door and banged her body against it, but it wouldn’t move. Its magic had saved it from Lorcan’s forces during the civil war, and it was certainly strong enough to withstand her.
“Finn!” she yelled, banging her fists against the door. “Finn!” she yelled again, pushing and pulling it and trying to wrench it open. But it remained stubbornly closed. She stood there glaring at the door so intently that she wondered if she might be able to burn through it with her eyes. She cast it one more venomous look and then sprinted back through the courtyard and into Eden’s bedroom. She took the stairs two at a time up the tree trunk.
“What happened?” Felix asked, jumping to his feet as soon as he saw her. Eden was out on a far tree limb, balancing on one leg.