Dante shook his head when Troy had finished.
“There’s nothing you can do about it now man,” he said. “Don’t let it worry you. Whatever happens, you sat here sulking isn’t going to change their minds.”
Troy knew he was right, but he could not bring himself to admit it. He turned his back on Dante and closed his eyes. His cellmate let out a long breath, before he left the cell.
Relieved to be alone, Troy let his thoughts take over again, imagining the jury sat in a room somewhere, discussing him, the future, and what would become of him.
* * *
Amal pulled on his dressing gown and went down stairs, drawn out of his room by the sound of voices in the lounge. Sanjay and Naz were sat on the sofa, and Sanjay’s hand was on Naz’s back. He clapped him on the back, and nodded in acknowledgment as Amal joined them.
“What’s going on down here?” Amal asked, dropping into the armchair, stretching out his legs. “Hope you’re not discussing business without me.”
Naz looked at him, and Amal noted the bloodshot eyes, the frown on his face. His cousin stood up quickly, shaking off Sanjay’s hand.
“I’m going home,” Naz said, heading for the door. “I need to sleep.”
“Sure, man,” Sanjay said to his retreating back. “You’ll be fine. Once we’re running things, you’ll have the pick of the girls.”
“I don’t want any other girls,” Naz muttered. He threw open the front door, gave a wave and left. When the door closed behind him, Amal looked over at his brother. He could guess what had brought about Naz’s mood, but he wanted confirmation before he got too excited.
“She dumped him then?” Amal asked.
“Yeah, last night,” he nodded. “He’s cut up about it.”
“He was punching above his weight,” Amal laughed, “He’s never going to land himself a girl as fine as her again, that’s why he’s torn up.”
Sanjay glanced over at him as he reached for his coffee. Amal wondered if his brother could read his thoughts.
“We still need Naz on side,” Sanjay warned him. “Don’t give him a reason to get pissed off and do a runner. He could prove himself useful. Besides, he’s family.”
Amal considered his words. He did not want to upset Naz, did not want to cause his cousin any pain, but he wanted Shontelle. Now they were officially broken up, Amal could no longer keep his feelings in check.
“Sure, ‘course I won’t,” Amal said, trying to keep his voice light. Sanjay did not say anything, though Amal knew he had not convinced his brother.
“Breakfast is ready,” their mum called from the kitchen. Sanjay jumped to his feet, and Amal followed. He wondered how long he should leave it before he messaged Shontelle.
* * *
“Can you come out here for a minute?” Marlena called from the hallway.
Aurora rolled her eyes. She had just put Angel down for her nap, and now her mum was trying to undo it all by shouting. She looked down at the cot, saw that Angel was still fast asleep, tiny fists clenched, eyes tight shut, and she felt relieved.
She slipped from the room and closed the door gently behind her.
“Mum, I just got her to sleep, what’s the noise for?” she hissed, and then stopped, looking at the scene in front of her.
Marlena had her hands on hips, lips pursed. Clint was stood by the front door, and his sports bag was on the floor at his feet. It was everything he had brought down from Manchester, and she knew at once, without looking at his face, what this meant.
“Don’t shush me in my own flat,” Marlena chastised her. “Clint was going to slip away, make it easier for you. I’m not having that. No daughter of mine is going to disrespect herself by letting her man disappear without a word.”
She glared at her, and Aurora couldn’t meet her eye. She knew her mother meant well, wanted her and Clint to make it work, but Aurora could not even be sure herself what she wanted anymore.
“Thanks, mum,” Aurora snapped. “Do you mind giving us some privacy?”
Marlena narrowed her eyes.
“A few months ago, I’d have thrown a fit if you said that to me, wanting to get up to no good with your man and under my roof no less,” she said, shaking her head, voice quiet so as not to wake Angel. “But as it stands, and as sad as it makes me feel, I know that you two don’t want privacy the way most kids your age want it.” She shook her head again. “It’s a damn shame, the pair of you. Just remember, whatever you decide whilst you’re having your privacy, you have a daughter together.”
With that, she slunk into the living room and closed the door.
Aurora stood awkwardly at the end of the hallway, looking at Clint. He looked down at the bag at his feet, shoulders slumped, and she felt bad for how defeated he looked.
“You’re leaving then?” she asked eventually.
Clint looked up, but she saw in his face that his mind was made up.
“I don’t want to,” he said, and she knew he was telling the truth. “I love you, Aurora. But I don’t know whether you still -” He stopped, composing himself. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know if you still love me too.”
The hallway fell silent. He expected her to say something.
“I don’t know whether I still love you,” she admitted, finally voicing what she had been thinking, hiding, for days. “I’m confused, Clint. I loved you so much. But when I saw you up on that stand, when you testified, I don’t know whether I can forgive you.”
Clint bowed his head in understanding. Perhaps he had expected it, perhaps he had figured it out. Aurora knew she had made it pretty clear recently that she did not want him to touch her, that something had changed for her.
She felt guilt mix with the emotions churning within her.
“I’m sorry,” she said, blinking away tears. “We have a daughter, I don’t want to feel this way. But I can’t help it.”
“I understand,” Clint said, his voice resigned. “I’m going to stay with my parents. I checked with her this morning. I’ll give you some space, some time, so you can figure out what you want. If you still -” He stopped, not voicing what they both knew. If she still wanted him.
Part of her wanted to tell him to stay, that they could fix this together, but she remained silent, unable to voice her thoughts. Clint nodded, understanding the silence, her lack of words enough to give him his answer. He heaved his bag off the floor and opened the front door.
“I’ll still see Angel,” Clint said, turning back to her. “Just let me know when would be a good time. And let me know about -” Again he trailed off, leaving the words they both knew he wanted to say unsaid.
He gave a sad smile and went out the door. The front door clicked shut behind him. Aurora stood there, in the empty hallway, blinking away tears. The lounge door opened at once, and Marlena reappeared. She had probably been listening at the door, Aurora thought.
“He’s a good lad,” Marlena told her, “Whatever he might have done, what the two of you had was real, which is more than most can say.”
“Oh shut up, mum,” Aurora snapped.
She turned, throwing herself into the bathroom and locking the door behind her. Her mother didn’t try to follow, did not shout after her. Alone in the room, Aurora turned the taps on and finally let her tears out.
Sinking to the floor, back against the door, she clutched the rug on the floor and squeezed the fabric with both hands, letting out a guttural cry as tears slid down her cheeks.
* * *
Jessie Banks glared at her boyfriend, resisting the urge to throw the ashtray at his head. She had dressed up in the hope of seducing him, so that he would stay in bed with her, trying for another baby, instead of going downstairs to the party.
Before her miscarriages, Jessie knew she would have been the centre of attention at the house party, dancing and drinking, maybe a few joints, making the most of being free and enjoying herself. She didn’t want to even go downstairs and see who had arrived now. She didn’t like the sy
mpathy in people’s eyes when they spoke to her, or the awkward way the navigated around the loss of two babies.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” Corey insisted, splashing some aftershave on his wrists and dabbing some on his neck. “It ain’t happening, we’ve been over this. We ain’t having a baby.”
Jessie wasn’t sure if he meant that they weren’t even going to attempt to get pregnant again, or if he meant that even if they did, she would lose it before it became a real baby that they could hold and feed and love.
“Don’t be so selfish –” Jessie protested, and Corey gave her a furious look, then bit his lip and shook his head, not even bothering to respond to her jibe. She hissed at him as he passed her, grabbed his shoes and walked from the bedroom.
Jessie sat down on the bed, feeling angry and disappointed. She wanted to rekindle the spark that had drawn them to each other, but instead all she seemed able to do was piss him off over and over again.
The music from downstairs blared up the stairs and the floor seemed to reverberate with the bass line. Tinie Tempah was rapping, and Jessie stood up, grabbing the bottle of vodka that Corey had taken a shot from a few minutes ago, and she gulped some down, savouring the burn in her mouth. Her stomach churned, and still clutching the bottle, she went to the mirror on the back of the bedroom door.
She looked good, she thought. She couldn’t understand how Corey had been able to resist her. She’d done her hair for the first time in ages, straightening it so was sleek and glossy. She had spent half an hour applying her make-up, and had chosen bright red lipstick which shone moist and seductive in the light. Her legs were on show in the short dress, and there was enough cleavage showing to surely attract most men. Apparently Corey was so determined not to get her pregnant that he had quelled his urges, and that pissed off Jessie more than anything.
She took another long swig from the vodka bottle and smacked her lips, wincing at the taste, but grateful for the relief it brought her. A bit more and she wouldn’t think of the dark thoughts that so often swirled in her mind, she thought.
Hearing laughter from downstairs, Jessie wondered whether she should go and join the party. Corey wanted her to show her face, and she knew Jazz would be there. Perhaps they could get their friendship back on track, she mused. Then again maybe she didn’t want to please Corey, not if he wouldn’t do the same for her.
Was it really too much to ask for, a baby? She didn’t think it was. Still, she was getting bored alone in her room, and she’d made such an effort to get dressed up. She took another swig and, bottle in hand, she left the bedroom and went downstairs.
The party was definitely underway, and people twisted and swayed to the music, drinks in hand and cigarettes at their lips. Jessie recognised only a few of the people she passed, but she felt eyes on her as she made her way to the kitchen, drinking the vodka as she went.
She found him holding a can of beer and chatting to a blonde girl whose arse was hanging out, and who was clutching Corey’s forearm and laughing at something he had said. Jessie approached them with narrowed eyes, but Corey didn’t seem put out by her arrival, smiling when he caught sight of her.
“And here she is,” Corey said, wrapping an arm around Jessie’s waist and turning to the blonde. “Camilla, this is my Jessie. Looks great, don’t she?”
Jessie glared at the blonde, but Camilla was too stupid to take note of it.
“Yeah, you look fab babe,” Camilla smiled, batting her eyelashes and clasping Jessie’s hand. “So good to meet you, Corey’s been telling me a lot about you.”
“Really?” Jessie asked, hoping her disinterest made this bitch fuck off, but Camilla nodded, giving a giggle as if what she’d said was really funny. Jessie turned to look at Corey, and he hesitated at her look. “I’ll leave you two to it then, shall I?” she asked, sliding away from Corey. He opened his mouth to say something, but Jessie was already walking away, back to him, taking a long gulp of vodka.
She glanced around the kitchen for a glimpse of Jazz, but she couldn’t see her. She wondered if Jazz would even talk to her now, given that Jessie had ignored her for so many weeks now.
“Don’t worry about her,” she heard Camilla say to Corey from behind her, “She’s been through a lot. Should we go grab another drink?”
Jessie’s temper flared. This blonde bitch had the nerve to hit on her boyfriend in her own home. What kind of bitch was she? And talking about what she’d been through, she had some serious front. Jessie swung around, lifting the vodka bottle as she went, gripping the neck in her right hand.
Corey’s eyes widened as she came back, but Camilla had her back to her. She half-turned at Corey’s expression, but she wasn’t fast enough. Jessie smashed the bottle into the side of her head and Camilla let out a scream and her hands flew to her face, her blonde hair going dark with blood where the bottle had smashed. Glass shattered on the floor and crunched under their feet as Corey wrestled the rest of the bottle out of Jessie’s hand and threw it in the kitchen sink. He grabbed Camilla’s arms, checking out her injuries. Jessie smiled, ignoring the horrified looks on other people’s faces at what she’d done.
“You’re all right,” Corey was saying to a shocked Camilla. “Might need to go down A&E, but your face ain’t cut, looks like it just caught the top of your ear.”
Camilla nodded, looking only a little relieved by his words. Somebody passed her some kitchen roll wrapped around ice, and she put it to the side of her head, the paper quickly turning red. Corey put an arm around her shoulder and made to guide her out of the kitchen.
“Woops,” Jessie sneered.
“I used to feel sorry for you for losing them babies,” Camilla said, shaking her head, lip curling back as she looked at her. “Now I’m just glad you ain’t a mother. People like you don’t deserve to have fucking kids.”
Jessie’s mouth dropped open in shock at her words, and Corey didn’t jump in to defend her. He looked just as pissed off as Camilla was, his anger directed towards Jessie.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” he demanded.
“She was trying to try it on with you,” Jessie hissed.
“No she weren’t,” Corey sighed, shaking his head. “She’s one of my mates.”
“Yeah, sure she –” Jessie snorted, but Camilla leant forward, eyes flashing.
“I’m a lesbian,” she told her. “I’m interested in girls, not fucking guys.”
Jessie opened her mouth to apologize, but Camilla was gone, dismissing her. Corey gave her an angry look and made to follow her.
“Where are you going?” Jessie asked, reaching for him. “I’m sorry.”
Corey looked exasperated.
“I’m taking her to A&E,” he snapped. “Just fucking go back upstairs before you fuck up again.”
He left the kitchen with Camilla, and Jessie’s shoulders slumped. She’d fucked up, and maybe he was right. She didn’t even have any more vodka left. The people remaining in the kitchen eyed her with disapproval, and she felt frustrated.
She went to the fridge and pulled out a half litre bottle of vodka. She cracked it open and downed some, going into the lounge where she hoped people wouldn’t have heard about what had happened with Camilla.
Jessie sat down on the sofa and swigged from the bottle. A guy she recognised as Sam came over and sat down beside her, a smile on his face, showing off his golden teeth. He smelt of weed and beer, and he leant close to her when he sat.
“I heard what happened dude,” Sam laughed. “Nice one, never liked that girl anyway. Such a fucking waste, that hot body and she’s only after other pussies.”
He shook his head, and Jessie was about to leave when he began to roll a joint, so she stayed. He caught her watching and smiled.
“You’re Corey’s girl, right?” he asked. “Jessie Banks.”
“If he still wants me after tonight,” Jessie groaned. “But yeah, I’m Jessie.”
“I had the pleasure of meeting your brothers,” Sam said, hi
s smile vanishing. He shook his head. “Those pussies broke both my fucking legs. They’ll get theirs.”
“You’re Sam?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “But everyone calls me Goldie,” he explained, grinning so she could see his golden teeth again.
Jessie found herself warming to him a little. He put her at ease, and when he had finished rolling he offered her the first toke on the joint. She offered him a swig of vodka, and she soon found she was buzzing.
Feeling drunk, she found herself telling him about her problems with Corey. She wasn’t sure why, but he was easy enough to talk to, and everyone else shot her dark looks except for him.
“It’s hard to believe any man could resist you when you’re looking so damn fine,” Goldie shook his head, eyes lingering over her body. Jessie nodded, pleased that somebody agreed with her. “So you need a baby, but he ain’t giving you one?”
“Exactly,” she sighed, drinking.
“It’s a tough one,” Goldie agreed with her, sympathising. He smiled at her, gold teeth flashing. “But I got an idea, if you really want to get a baby in you.”
* * *
The bass pounded in his ears and Amal knocked back his tequila shot. Tamar nudged him, and they watched Zoe and Shontelle strut across the nightclub floor towards them, weaving their way between dancing bodies, the flashing strobe lights illuminating them as they approached.
Amal could not stop the smile spread across his face as Shontelle hugged him close to her in greeting, kissing him lightly on the cheek. He got a whiff of her perfume and wanted to hold her against him. Zoe smiled knowingly at his expression as he smiled in gratitude at her.
When Amal and Tamar had cracked open some cans in the afternoon, stretched out on the playing fields, Amal could hardly have hoped that he would be seeing Shontelle so soon. Girls normally took a while to get over a break-up, he knew, but not her it seemed. Tamar had suggested inviting Zoe out, and Amal had quickly urged them to play matchmaker and bring Shontelle along with her. Zoe, flattered at the thought of playing Cupid, had agreed at once, and Amal was pleased she had succeeded.
The Goldsworth Series Box Set Page 110