People are so predictable.
“Why would I need to do that?” Wulf asked, cocking his head to the side. Liam finally looked back at him.
“Because as you may or may not have noticed, we had kind of a thing. A kind of thing that got really fucked up really fast. Now we don't speak. So she might not appreciate being stuck in the same room as me all night,” he pointed out.
“That's weird.”
“What is?”
“That's not at all what I thought was going on.”
“How do you mean?”
“From what I understand, you fucked it all up in the end, and now you're not speaking to her. In fact, as best I can tell, she really wants to talk to you, and she would love to be in the same room with you. But you're a dickhead who doesn't answer his phone,” Wulf explained. Liam looked stunned for a moment, then he sighed.
“I didn't fuck it up,” he said, staring down at his beer. “For once, I really don't think I did. We were a bad match, it was a bad idea. She wasn't ready for someone like me, and I just wasn't good enough for someone like her.”
“Bullshit.”
Liam lifted his head at the insult.
“What did you just say to me?”
“Look,” Wulf groaned as he climbed to his feet. “I know how you feel about me – you think I'm the devil, and that I think you're a piece of shit, and that I won some stupid competition for Katya.”
“I don't care about the bullshit with Katya anymore,” was the only thing Liam argued with.
“Good. Because that's exactly what it was, just bullshit. I might be the devil, but I don't think you're shit, Liam. I think you're smart, and you're so likable, it's irritating. I wish I was more like you, sometimes. But not right now. You're making a mistake,” Wulf said in a low voice.
“How am I -”
“She cares about you, and you know it. Deep down, you know it, or you wouldn't have wasted your time on her. She's fragile, and she's fucked up, and she's going to make a lot more mistakes. No one in her life has ever loved her, so she never learned how to love,” Wulf tried to explain. “You're the complete opposite, everyone always loves you, from the first moment they meet you. It's not that she thought you weren't good enough for her, Liam. That wasn't her issue. She thought you were too good for her.”
“Why hasn't she said any of that?”
“Are you fucking deaf? I just said she doesn't know how. Then you told her it was over. What's Ayumi the absolute best at?”
“Following instructions,” Liam whispered, looking off into space.
“Exactly. You've made it clear you want her to stay away, so she's staying so fucking far away, she practically doesn't exist anymore. Congratulations, you got what you wanted. Meanwhile, I have to deal with a whiny assistant who cries all the time. Thanks.”
“She cries?”
“Yes. Often. If one more set of contracts gets ruined, I'm holding you responsible.”
“I don't know, Wulf,” Liam groaned, running his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I'm not the guy to teach her about love. I tried. I really tried. She wouldn't listen to me.”
“Then you were right all along, you're not good enough for her,” Wulf grabbed his keys off the table and started heading for the door. “Because she deserves the absolute best in life, and that means a guy who could actually care about her. A guy who could actually fight for her. And not just to prove himself to anybody, and not just to win some competition, and not just to feel good about himself. Just for her.”
He didn't wait to hear Liam's response, he simply walked out the door and let it fall shut behind him.
Playing the role of Cupid didn't come naturally to Wulf, he wasn't sure how he'd done. He'd spoken his mind and he'd spoken from the heart, he supposed it was all he could do. He'd honestly thought that when he'd told Liam how upset she still was, the other man would've fallen all over himself to reach out to her.
But he hadn't. Ayumi had really gotten to Liam, it seemed. A girl carved out of ice had somehow managed to touch him in ways no one else had. He was scared. It was bad enough feeling like he wasn't good enough for his family and friends – but to not be good enough for Ayumi, that was simply too much, it seemed.
These people are idiots. I should've made Katya elope.
24
Liam sat in his office, staring at his door.
It was New Year's Eve. A party was raging on the main floors of the club. Everyone was happy and laughing and fucking and having a great time.
Yet he was alone. Tori had gone on some vacation, nursing her broken heart. Landon had been dragged off to some jungle, god knew where. Brighton was in Carmel for the holidays, thank god. Her older sister had gotten back into town, but Vieve was at the Twin Estates party. As were Katya and Wulf.
As was Ayumi.
It was nine-thirty. Liam glanced at his watch, then glanced at his office door again. A tuxedo was hanging on the back of it. He'd had it tailored right after he'd gotten back from San Diego, just for the New Year's party. Just for her. It had been delivered to the club the day before, but he hadn't bothered taking it home. He wouldn't be going to any party.
Wulf had fucked him up a little. It was bizarre enough seeing the cold man in Liam's own apartment, but then he'd asked Liam to be his best man. What the shit was that?
He had a distinct feeling it had less to do with the wedding, and more to do with Ayumi. If Liam was the best man, he'd be obligated to go functions. Like, say, an engagement party.
Wulf and Katya were playing matchmaker, and it was annoying. Liam didn't need a matchmaker – he was very good at picking up girls on his own. They couldn't seem to grasp he just wasn't right for Ayumi. He'd been a good time, but little more than that. Maybe she wanted more good times, and he understood, he really did, but he just wasn't interested in a good time anymore. He wanted all the times with her. Good, bad, ugly, and everything in between.
Wulf and Katya didn't get it. They couldn't possibly understand what it was like, being Liam and Ayumi. Both had grown up as shining stars in their own families. Both had received lots of praise and accolades while growing up. Liam had grown up under the impression he wasn't as good as his twin brother, and Ayumi had grown up literally being told she wasn't good, period. So they didn't see the shiny silver lining to the fucked up storm cloud that had been their relationship.
It wasn't all a storm. There were a lot of sunny days and sandy beaches and great surfing and even better company.
He chuckled as he remembered the first time she'd gone in the water. In her ridiculous bathing suit cover. She'd looked like she'd been trying to be incognito. Then throwing her in the ocean, realizing she couldn't swim. Her clinging to him at first in fear, and then in trust.
He didn't allow himself to do it often, but what the hell, it was a holiday. Liam pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the pictures gallery. He skimmed back to the beginning of their road trip and started flicking through the photos.
One of her glaring at him from the passenger seat of the car. She was wearing huge sunglasses, but all the same, he knew she was glaring. She was pissed about being in a shit heap.
There was another one at his parents house. Her looking absolutely terrified as she was surround by all his aunts and cousins. Then another taken from across the room, of her laughing with his mother. She hadn't been aware of him in the moment, and she'd looked completely at ease. Completely at home.
“I really like your family, Liam.”
“Good, because they like you, too.”
He frowned and swiped right. It was a shot of her behind the driver's wheel of the Tempest, smiling so big, she was almost hard to recognize. She looked tiny in the huge boat of a car, but also like she was having the best time ever. Right after he'd snapped the pic, he remembered she'd dumped the clutch and the car had bunny-hopped so hard, she'd rammed up against the steering wheel.
The pictures after that one were the worst. He'd started looking at them one oth
er time, but hadn't been able to get through them. It hurt too much. Shots of them on the beach, laughing, being silly. Hugging. Kissing. Touching.
His favorite was one taken during their drive to Malibu. He'd thrown away most of her stupid tights and she'd been forced to just go bare legged under her shorts. She'd been nervous at first, then she'd relaxed. Stretched her right leg so her foot was sticking out of the car, resting against the side view. At a stop light, he'd turned and captured the moment with his phone. Ayumi, completely at ease in her own skin, not caring for once that her scar was showing. Not caring that her heart was showing.
He was surprised by some of the photos that came next, he'd forgotten taking them. Ayumi standing on the deck of the Air Stream, staring out at the view. Then a close up of her butt as they'd hiked around. One with only her smile in the frame.
Another of them in the shower. How he'd talked her into letting him bring his phone, he didn't know, but he was glad. There was no real nudity, no naughty bits were showing. It was from behind, showing her head down to her lower back. Her hair was all pulled forward over one shoulder, and she was glancing back at him.
Goddamn, she is so stunning.
That was nothing, though.
He liked to capture moments, and some of the best moments he'd ever had were with Ayumi, most of which had been during their date night. She'd worn that amazing dress. Fun and sexy and young. So perfectly her and she hadn't even known it. She'd gone to the Pier with him and done stupid things with him, laughing the whole time. He laughed along with her as he thumbed through the photos. Remembered the rides and the food and her soft sighs of contentment.
Afterwards, they'd gone home and laid on the deck and she'd cried because she'd been afraid of her feelings for him. Liam had never had that kind of power over a woman before – it had scared him, too. He'd wanted to kiss and touch every single fear away. Wanted to prove that he could be man enough, adult enough, for her. Wanted to show her that just maybe they didn't feel good enough on their own, because they were at their best when they were together.
He'd fallen asleep, because that's what good sex did to him. He'd assumed she'd fallen right asleep, too, but clearly she hadn't, because she'd taken a picture of them.
It was hard to see what was going on at first, it was so dark and grainy. The fire had been dying down, it was barely casting a glow over Liam's back. She was on the other side of him, pressed to his chest, her face almost entirely covered in shadows. She was holding his phone up above them so she could capture the moment. Just a simple kiss. It almost looked chaste, her lips pressed to his while he slept.
It was in the dark. He was asleep. He hadn't even known she'd kissed him, let alone taken a picture. Everything had gone to shit the next morning, he hadn't even thought to go through his photos, but she must have taken it so he would find it. She'd used his phone, after all, not hers.
Why? Why would she do that? Hard to use someone for sex or attention when they were unconscious. And he certainly couldn't use her back if he was completely asleep. That's what Ayumi had thought their relationship had been all about, though – him using her to feel good about himself, her using him to feel good about herself. So why a night time kiss? Why a picture?
Because she wanted to capture a moment that was real. That was just us. That couldn't possibly mean anything at all ... except it meant everything.
“It's not that she thought you weren't good enough for her, Liam,” Wulf had said. “That wasn't her issue. She thought you were too good for her.”
That's why she'd taken a photo in the dark. That's why she'd kissed him when he hadn't known about it. Because she was scared and she was frightened and she was ashamed of herself. So it was only when he wasn't looking that she'd been able to truly share herself with him. She hadn't known any better.
No one had ever taught her.
25
“Are you okay?”
Ayumi looked over to see Katya walking up to her.
“I'm fine,” she replied, smiling tightly. The bride-to-be smiled back at her.
“You look like you're grinding your teeth. How's the ankle?” she asked, and they both looked towards the floor.
Ayumi hadn't needed surgery, thank god, but she would need to wear a medical boot for a month. A whole month. Torture to an active person like her.
She'd tried to use it as an excuse to get out of going to Wulf and Katya's engagement party, but Wulf had seen right through her.
“Double down on Vicodin and wear a long dress. You're going.”
She'd passed on taking any of her pain pills during the festivities, but she had found a long dress. It was made of a heavy silver material, with a strapless fitted bodice that gave way to a long, drapey skirt. It brushed the ground when she walked, which was perfect. No one could see the medical boot on her left leg, or the sneaker she was wearing on her right foot.
Everything is awful and life sucks, but at least my right foot is comfortable.
“Aches a little, but it's not bad,” Ayumi answered Katya's question.
“Good. I'm really glad you came, I hope you know. It means a lot. Especially with Tori running off,” Katya spoke fast. “And you look ... you look really stunning, Ayumi.”
She had a lot of free time now, what with Wulf babying her and not letting her do any real work, so she'd actually taken her time getting ready. If she was going to have to limp around on one good leg all night, then she was going to make sure the rest of her looked absolutely perfect.
Her long, thick hair was in a huge bun on the top of her head, showing off her swan like neck and delicate shoulders. She had her mother's diamond earrings on, which matched her dress perfectly, and together everything set off her almost luminescent skin. Her insides felt like rotting garbage, but her outsides looked like a winter fairy princess.
But not the pretty one who cleans with woodland creatures. The ugly one who can't get anything right.
“Thank you, Katya. You look amazing, as always,” she returned the compliment, and it wasn't a lie. Katya was one of those girls who looked effortlessly pretty no matter what she did, but when she really dressed up, she turned into a bombshell.
“But I'm sorry to say, I don't think either of us looks as good as Wulf,” she laughed, then she gestured across the room.
The man they were appraising was talking to a band. He was wearing a sharp suit, all black except for his crisp white dress shirt. It made him look dashing. That was the perfect word for Wulfric Stone, dashing.
“I'd have to agree with you,” Ayumi said, but she couldn't make herself laugh.
How could she? She was surrounded by couples – the only other single person in the room was Genevieve Stone, and she was single by choice. Everyone else who was there had a date. Someone to go home with that night, someone to kiss when the clock struck midnight. People were looking at each other with love and happiness and it was all just too much, suddenly. She could've been having those moments, too, but she'd ruined it.
Liam hadn't spoken to her once since the hospital. She'd tried calling him a couple times, but she didn't want to bother him more than she already had. Liam wasn't the type to avoid phone calls, she knew, so if he didn't want to speak to her, then it was really and truly over. Just when she'd been realizing how important he was to her, he'd realized how wrong she was for him.
I knew it. The whole time. Why does this hurt so much?
“You know,” Ayumi sighed. “My leg really is bothering me. Would it be terrible if I went home early?”
“What? Yes, yes it would! What time is it?” Katya demanded, surprising Ayumi with how frantic she sounded.
“Uh, a little after ten o'clock.”
“Ten? Are you sure?”
“Yes, look,” she said, pointing at a large countdown playing on a flat screen television.
“Oh, I didn't realize it was so late,” Katya suddenly sounded disappointed.
“It's okay. I'll stay. Two hours isn't a big deal,” Ayumi
capitulated. Katya frowned and looked like she wanted to say something, but just then Wulf cleared his throat.
“Alright, alright!” he spoke in a loud voice as he walked to the center of the large room. A wide space opened up, with everyone moving off a wooden dance floor. “Thank you everyone for coming. Sorry Eden couldn't be here to host this himself, but you know he'd want you to have a good time.”
Huh. Odd intro for an engagement party, Ayumi thought. Then again, having an engagement party at the Twin Estates, a building full of people Wulf hardly knew, had always seemed strange.
“The bar is open, food has been served. Eat, drink, be merry, all that jazz. Just please don't puke anywhere, no one likes a party foul,” he urged, and everyone in the wide circle around him laughed and clapped. He moved to join Ayumi and Katya standing at the far end of the room, just inside the circle of people.
“Beautiful speech, Wulf. We should rent you out for other parties,” Katya snorted.
“I don't really give a fuck,” he replied, straightening out his tie. “Is that band going to tune up all night, or are we eventually going to have music?”
Ayumi glanced at the stage where a group of musicians plucked and poked at their instruments. The crowd seemed to be waiting for the music and the dance floor stayed clear.
“They came highly recommended,” she finally offered, turning back to face the newly engaged couple. Wulf was glaring at the band, and Katya was staring over Ayumi's shoulder, at the entrance on the other side of the room.
“Well, I highly recommend they play some fucking music. It's getting late,” he grumbled.
“No,” Katya said, reaching down and grabbing his sleeve. “It's not too late at all, Wulf. I think they've timed it just right.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, then he followed her gaze. Ayumi stared at them both in confusion.
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