by Jan Coffey
It took some effort to unfold her legs and put her feet on the floor. Her joints were stiff. She pushed aside the blanket and tried to stand up, then sat down again, still not too awake. She wondered if Adam and Hinckey were still here. The pillows on the love seat were all piled to one side. She saw the arm sling Ben had been wearing before, too.
The phone conversation ended in the kitchen. A few seconds later, she saw the light go off and the door open.
“Any news?” she asked groggily, still not trusting herself to stand up.
“You’re awake.”
Watching him move in the dark toward her made Emily’s heart beat double-time. His sleeves were rolled up. The dress shirt looked wrinkled. She stared at the open collar. Her gaze moved up to his hair. He looked like he’d just run his fingers through it. She wanted to do the same thing.
Emily was caught in a place between dreams and reality, desire and common sense. Their little talk in the kitchen before came back to her.
“They’ve arrested him.” He crouched down before her, taking her hand.
“Where? Who is he?”
“Albany, New York. He’s a software engineer for a company called Hudson Hills Software.”
She shook her head. “Don’t know it.”
“They do embedded software development for the automotive industry. They have something called an ‘optimizing C compiler’ that’s used on most of the new SUVs on the road. Eighty percent of what the company does is focused on that industry, with the rest spread across other venues. He’s definitely had plenty of access to those systems.”
“What’s his name?”
“Robert Chen. Thirty-four years old, single, lives alone. Rensselaer and MIT graduate.”
“He’s Asian?”
“He could be fourth-generation American, as far as I know. Or he could be a plant working for the Chinese government.”
“And he’s my secret admirer.”
“He’s not the only one,” he said quietly.
“What are you saying?” she asked, looking down at his mouth.
“I’m saying this,” he whispered before kissing her.
Emily’s entire system was thrown back into a dream world. His lips were soft but persistent. His good hand fisted in her hair, holding her head, while he leisurely kissed her deeper than she could ever remember being kissed before.
She went limp, leaning into him, wanting more, not remembering the last time that she felt this good. He pushed her back in the chair, and his mouth trailed down the side of her neck.
“Anything else? Phone call?” She managed to get out, arching her back.
“They just picked him up,” he murmured against the hollow of her throat. “We’ll know more tomorrow.”
His hand moved down the front of her sweater, cupping and gently squeezing her breast.
Emily had a hard time sitting still as he slowly pushed up her sweater, his mouth placing kisses on every inch of skin he exposed.
“Softer than silk, tastier than whipped cream.”
She smiled, reaching behind her and unclasping her bra, and in the next second, his hot mouth took in her nipple.
The soft noise escaping his throat was pure satisfaction. She impatiently peeled off the sweater, throwing it aside with her bra. Ben’s hand and mouth were driving her crazy. She gathered his head against her chest, moving it from one breast to the other. His hand found its way to the juncture of her legs. The jeans felt like a layer of skin. She felt every movement of his fingers. A belated thought rushed to her mind.
“Is everyone else gone?” Emily asked.
“No, they’re standing outside the windows, enjoying the show.” A devilish laugh rose in him when she sat up straight.
“That does it.” She pushed at his chest. “Upstairs.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stole a kiss from her lips before standing up and pulling her with him.
Emily grabbed her sweater and bra, but Ben snatched them out of her hands when she tried to hold them against her chest.
“Hey!” she complained, but he was holding the garments behind him.
“You’re too beautiful to hide, and I’m enjoying the view.”
Walking topless through her house was another first. But Emily never had time to feel uncomfortable. He was right there, touching her, stopping her, kissing her. She almost lost it on the stairs when he pushed her back against the wall, his body following. The hard angles of his muscular frame pressed into her soft curves, her pelvis cradling the hardening bulge of his manhood.
She kissed him with all the heat and need he’d awakened in her.
They somehow made it to her bedroom. She didn’t bother to switch on the lamp by the bed. The light of the moon washed through the wide window. Ben reached for her again. She undid his shirt, pressed her lips to the bandages that were still wrapped around his rib cage.
“Maybe this is not such a good idea right now. I mean, you’re still hurt.”
“No, this is a very good idea. Exactly what we both need.”
His body was like a drug to her. As if in a dream, she pushed the shirt down over his shoulders, trying to be careful with his injured arm. The surface of the cast was cool against her fingers. He drew her against him and their bodies again found the fit of curve and crevice. His pronounced erection washed away any lingering insecurities about who she was. She stroked him through his khakis.
“I think you’re right,” she whispered, taking a small bite out of his neck.
“Only think?”
“You are right,” she said as he turned her back to him. She leaned into him, welcoming what he did to her. “I’d forgotten what it feels like. It’s been so long.”
“How long?”
“Since my divorce…even before that.”
Ben’s fingers slid down over the skin of her stomach, causing her to shudder in his arms. He undid the snap and zipper on her jeans. His palm moved inside her panties and cupped her.
“Long…long…long before that,” she said breathlessly, reaching behind her and undoing his belt and zipper. In a moment her hand was wrapped around him.
Ben delved two fingers inside of her and Emily gasped, her whole body arching against his hand in a mindless search for more.
“I don’t know how long…if ever,” she whispered, barely aware that she was even talking.
“We have to make up for lost time, then,” he growled against her throat.
Her hips were moving, wanting more. “I need you, Ben. I need you inside of me.”
She was vaguely aware of the shudder running through him. Taking her hand, he sat her on the bed and stripped her of her jeans and panties. His own pants followed. She was relieved when he took a condom out of his pocket and handed it to her. She’d gone without sex for so many years that she hadn’t given any thought at all to protection. As a mother of a teenager, her own lack of concern shocked her.
Naked, Ben pulled her over him.
Time stopped for what seemed to be an eternity. Emily knew they were at the brink of a great precipice. She looked into his face, needing to voice what terrified her. He was the first one to speak, though.
“I want you, Emily.”
“What we’re doing tonight shouldn’t change anything between us.”
“Yes, it’ll change everything,” he said, smiling. “It will make everything better.”
“I’m talking about work.”
“I’m talking about around the clock…twenty-four/seven.”
She shook her head. “I’m serious, Ben. Just because I’ve been living like a nun, you don’t have to think of us as long term.”
“Well, I’d like to think of us in exactly those terms. And unless you’d like to have a relationship with a raving lunatic, you’d better stop talking so much.”
She lowered herself onto him and drew in a quick breath as he raised his hips to enter her. Concerns and questions were immediately forgotten, and Emily felt her body begin to move as if it had a will of its o
wn.
Some time later, she sprawled limply over him. The air in the room was cool, but everywhere their bodies touched, she was still burning. She nuzzled her face against his throat, inhaling his scent, savoring it. This is where she wanted to be…forever.
She realized that she was lying on his chest. “Your bruised ribs shouldn’t be carrying my weight.”
She tried to move, but he held her where she was.
“Not yet.” His hand caressed her back, moved down over the curve of her buttocks. “This is exactly what the doctor ordered.”
“Doctor’s orders, hmm?” She raised herself on his chest enough to look into his face. “You came over here tonight with a condom in your pocket.”
“I was counting on taking advantage of you. I knew how tired you were.”
Emily let her fingers trace his lips, move down his neck. She could feel him come to life again deep inside of her.
“Did you only bring over one?” she whispered shyly.
He smiled, his hand pressing her tighter against his groin. “No. Besides, I hear there’s a twenty-four-hour pharmacy in the next town that delivers.”
Emily had never been one to buck the doctor’s orders.
Thirty-Six
Lyden didn’t want to call in sick. His personal days were history. Going in for half a day would probably work, though.
He’d use the accident in front of his condo yesterday and the fact that the police had interviewed him. He thought about saying that the cops needed to talk to him again. That way, he could skip out of work at noon and take the rest of the day off, giving him time to get to Wickfield hours before his date with Emily.
There were quite a few cars in the parking lot when Lyden got to work. The clock on the dash read 7:45. This was the earliest he remembered showing up at work, ever. But he figured since he wasn’t burning the candle on the other end, it wouldn’t hurt to seem punctual, even early, this morning.
There was a bounce in his step when he walked across the lot. He felt well rested. Happy. He hadn’t needed an alarm to wake up this morning. He’d gotten ready and left the house so early that he even had time to do a drive-through for coffee and a couple of doughnuts. He could get used to this.
The security guard at the front desk seemed surprised when Lyden actually said “Good morning” and “Have a nice day.” Taking a sip of his coffee as he waited for the elevator, he wondered if he’d ever done that before. Probably not, he decided. Fuck it, he thought. Maybe he’d do it a little more often.
Lyden didn’t recognize the two men who came out of the security office and moved in next to him, apparently waiting for the same elevator. The control room, everyone called it.
The elevator door opened, and the three of them entered. Lyden juggled the bag of doughnuts and his coffee in one hand and pressed three for his floor. He looked at the taller of the two men.
“Same,” the man said in a crisp voice.
Cops, or at least government, Lyden guessed, feeling an uncomfortable trickle of perspiration gathering in the small of his back. Neither wore a badge. Both wore dress shirts and khakis, and one of them was wearing a blazer. The other, standing in the middle, was wearing a navy blue windbreaker. Neither of them spoke. Lyden had never realized how slowly the elevator moved. At the third floor, the two motioned for him to exit in front of them. Lyden felt their gazes burning holes in the back of his head as he stepped out.
There was definitely something going on. The handful of people already at work didn’t seem at all interested in doing what they were there for. Standing in groups of twos and threes, they were whispering amongst themselves and shooting glances at the men behind him…or at Lyden himself.
He moved down the aisle toward his cubicle. Glancing over his shoulder as he passed a trio of programmers, he saw the two men who’d taken the elevator with him turn toward the supervisors’ offices. Through the glass panels next to the door, he could see three other people were already in there, as well as the department head, who was shaking his head as he explained something.
The cubicles near Lyden’s were empty. He dropped everything on his desk and looked around for any source of information. Helen was waddling up the next aisle, stopping and whispering to whoever was there and would listen, but Lyden didn’t think she’d spare him a second after the way he’d talked to her the day before. Still, he grabbed the bag of doughnuts and leaned against the wall of his cubicle, waiting for her to finish talking to one of the female engineers.
“Helen,” Lyden called.
She glanced over her shoulder and gave him a narrow stare.
Lyden waved the small bag. “Peace offering?”
“How about an apology?” she asked.
“I am sorry.” He put on his kicked puppy look. “I was so sick yesterday. Totally out of it. I’d been in and out of that bathroom half a dozen times before I saw you. I had to get home and put on some clean underwear.”
“Spare me the details.” She waved him off.
“Am I forgiven?”
She made a face but walked toward him anyway. He offered her the bag of doughnuts, but she shook her head. “I read all about it in the paper this morning. Did you know the gal who was hit in front of your house yesterday?”
“Not too well. She’d just moved in.”
Lyden had spoken with Helen yesterday afternoon, when he’d called to explain why he wasn’t coming back to work that day.
He motioned with his head toward the supervisor’s office. “What’s going on?”
“FBI,” she whispered.
“No kidding? How come? What’s going on?”
She moved closer. “Robert. He was arrested at his house last night.”
The sour taste of bile rose in the back of Lyden’s throat. “Robert Chen?”
She nodded.
“What for?”
She shrugged. “Nobody’s said anything, yet. I think it has something to do with his work, though. I hear that two hours ago, a half dozen agents were crawling all over his cubicle. They took his computer, his Palm Pilot, his laptop and everything else. They cleaned out his desk and his file cabinet. They’re waiting for Steve Jankiewicz and Ed Nabors, his project partners, to arrive. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.”
His head started pounding. A loud echo in Lyden’s head kept telling him he knew this was the way things would go. That was why he’d chosen the ID of someone he worked with, so he’d know if anyone went after him.
It was her. Emily. It had to be.
The bitch. She had handed him over. She’d lied. Emily was setting him up.
“I personally think it has something to do with pornography—maybe child pornography. I read it in the papers all the time. That’s when they confiscate people’s computers. If you ask me, Robert is a pretty weird guy. Eight years he’s been working here, and I’ve never seen him go out to lunch with the other guys. I know absolutely nothing about his personal life. Do you?”
The bag of doughnuts slipped out of Lyden’s fingers. It was an effort for Helen to bend over and get it. He shook his head when she handed the bag to him.
“You okay? You look pretty pale. Are you sure you’re over whatever bug you were fighting yesterday?”
He shook his head. “Actually, I don’t feel that good. I think whatever didn’t clear out of my system is coming up the other way.”
“Don’t just stand there, get out of here.” She stepped back. “I’ll let the boss know you’re sick. Go. Go!”
He looked over his shoulder at his desk. There was some incriminating evidence on his computer, but nobody would know about it unless they went searching in there. There was no reason for them to do that. Other than the fact that they both worked for the same software company, there was no other connection between Lyden and Robert Chen. There were over a hundred other engineers working on this floor.
Helen was sticking around like she wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to puke on company property.
There was
no reason to sweat the small stuff. In fucking up his dreams, Emily had actually done him a favor. She’d set him free.
It was time to shift gears. Absolutely. It was now time to get more bang for the buck. He had the means. He had the power to do as he pleased.
Definitely. Time to cash in. When he was done with them, he’d have all the money he’d ever need, and he’d fuck the girl, too.
Nodding at Helen, Lyden grabbed his car keys and walked out.
Thirty-Seven
With most of the school grounds under construction, the morning traffic was total chaos in the high school parking lot. Bus drivers fought parents, dropping off their kids, for the same curbside space. Weaving in and out through the madness, students who drove themselves tried to reach the front door of the building in one piece.
Emily knew she had little chance of spotting Conor if she waited in her car. Arriving early, she parked and made her way to the main entrance, hoping to find him.
If it was one minute or ten minutes that she waited there, she couldn’t tell. Surrounded by students, Emily became completely engrossed by everything. Listening to the snatches of their conversations, seeing how some of them dressed and looked, she considered her own son.
Conor was one of these teenagers. Independent. Ready to spread his wings. She knew it wouldn’t be long before their relationship would take a different turn. It was inevitable that he would begin to reject her authority. That was why she had to be more than a parent. She wanted to be his friend. She wanted his trust as much as his respect. That meant she had to allow him to exercise some freedom, to make decisions, even if they were bad ones. And he had to learn from them.
Easier said than done, she thought. A week ago, Emily would have had a good crying jag over the very idea. Conor was the center of her life. There was nothing that she did that didn’t include him.
Until last night. Her evening with Ben had been a revelation. For the first time in a long time, she had felt like a woman. It also had made her realize that she’d been harboring deep resentment against David. He’d been able to go on and marry and have a normal life after their divorce, while Emily focused only on their son. This morning, all that bitterness was gone. She felt happy, free. The tension that had been a constant element in her life had dissolved in the crisp autumn air.