I had to walk away and grab a paper towel to wipe my eyes. While facing the kitchen window and wiping the wetness off of my face, I felt his hands reaching around me. I turned around suddenly. “I’m sorry, Vessa. If I can’t have you then he won’t either. You want me to drop the custody case? All you have to do is leave your boyfriend and move back to this town. You forget all about your life there with him and you can keep the kids without me ever fighting you.”
I moved further away from him. “You do know that I can’t stand the person you’ve turned into? You would do all of this to spite me?”
“Yeah, I guess I would.”
I slapped him across the face. “How dare you! You selfish son of a bitch!”
He held the side of his face and smiled this arrogant smile, while pointing to the door. “I think you need to leave.”
I grabbed my keys off the table and pushed past him. “Gladly!”
“See you in court, bitch!” He slammed the door behind me.
I had planned on staying at a hotel for the night, but after my heated argument with Gavin, I just wanted to go home. Except, that wasn’t where I drove to.
When I pulled up at Ramsey’s place, all of the lights were turned off. It was nearly midnight and I knew that he was probably asleep. Since he was finally able to start sleeping in his bed again, he liked going to bed earlier. I knocked two times before I heard the latch releasing and the door opening. He was wiping his eyes and standing there in just a pair of pajama pants. I threw myself into his chest and started crying.
To be honest, I don’t even remember him shutting the door. He pulled me by the hand into his bedroom, where he proceeded to undress me down to my underwear. We said nothing to each other. It wasn’t like I could talk anyway, since I was still busy bawling my eyes out. Once he got me tucked into bed, he climbed in the other side and pulled me into his chest. His strong arms held me tight while I continued to let my emotions overwhelm me.
I’m not really sure exactly which one of us fell asleep first. I woke up in a dark room, still in Ramsey’s arms. He was snoring, but it was comforting knowing he was there with me. Being there with him, feeling so safe, made me realize just what I was considering giving up. Was I really willing to let go of this wonderful man because Gavin wanted to be in control of my life. He wanted me to suffer and I already was. Just imagining never seeing Ramsey again ripped through my heart. I couldn’t believe that I had to choose.
I knew what I had to do, what I had to choose, but it didn’t make the decision any easier. I started crying again and Ramsey began to stir. He looked over at the clock to see it was three in the morning. “You crying again?”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’ll just go out to the living room.” I leaned over and kissed him before getting up. He tried to grab my hand, but I was already standing.
I should have known that he was going to follow me. It was still hard to get used to someone caring so much about me, especially considering the kind of man he was when we first met. He kneeled down in front of me and put his hands on my knees. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t tell you this. It hurts too much to talk about.”
“Whatever it is, we can work through it. I promise you we can.” I ran my hand over the whiskers growing on his cheeks. He smiled and kissed my fingers as they passed.
I shook my head and the tears really started coming down again. “I can’t tell you this. You’re not going to like it. It changes everything.”
“I can handle anything, except losing you, Vessa.” He used both thumbs to wipe my face and then he kiss me softly. With our foreheads still together, he kissed me once more. “I’m so in love in with you.”
His beautiful words ripped through my heart like a sheet of shattered glass. He was everything that I wanted. I could see our future together in my mind. I wanted to be his rock and support him emotionally for the rest of our lives. I hadn’t known him my whole life. It wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t even a beautiful love story, but it was our story. All of it brought us to this very moment, where my one decision could make all of our happiness disappear.
I already knew my choice. For me, it was never an option. I think that’s why it hurt so much. As a mother, I had to make decisions everyday. The most important decision I could ever make for them was to be with them. There was no way I was going to let anyone else raise my children, even if it cost me my own happiness with Ramsey.
“I’ve never loved someone the way that I love you, Ramsey. You’ve showed me what it’s like to be at the lowest point of your life and find that one light that guides you back to happiness. Now I know that it’s possible to be happy after you felt like you’ve lost all that you were living for. I think that’s what makes what I’m about to tell you so hard. It isn’t what I choose for myself.”
“I’m not following you, Vessa. You’re talking weird. What is it? Just tell me.”
“I have to leave town.” The words almost didn’t come out. I found it hard to talk without losing it.
“When will you be back?” He rubbed my shoulders, waiting for me to respond.
I shook my head and looked away from his concerned face. “I’m not coming back. “
“What are you saying? You live here. I live here.” I could tell that he was getting worried about what I was telling him. Deep down I think he knew this was coming. Our struggles to stay together had been weighing on both of us.
This wasn’t just about me doing the right thing. His heart was going to be broken, directly because of me. How was I supposed to live with myself? “I’m taking the kids back to the town where their father lives. Gavin said he would drop the custody case.”
“I’ll come with you. We’ll get a nice place and you won’t have to struggle. It might take me a while to get into the police department there, but I’m sure I can find something in the meantime. There’s plenty of other jobs I can try out.”
God, he was willing to move his whole life again just to be with me; to make a life with me. A future. I shook my head again. “You don’t understand. If I move back there, you can’t come with me.”
His eyes got really big. “What do you mean?”
“Gavin will only drop the custody case if I move back home and end my relationship with you.”
“I won’t let that happen, Vessa. Did you think you could just walk out of my life and it would be okay with me? This isn’t okay. I know this isn’t what you want.” He stood up and started walking around in front of me. I could tell how upset he already was, although, I don’t think the whole reality of what was happening had set in. I think he thought we still had a chance, even when I knew that we didn’t.
“I can’t lose my kids. I don’t have a choice. Can’t you see that? You think I want to leave you? All I want to do is have a future with you, Ramsey. I’ve hated having to hide what we have. I want everyone to know how much I love you.”
“So, I guess I’m just the bad guy in all of this. I mean, if I hadn’t beaten his ass none of this would be happening. Is this some kind of punishment? This is what I get for trying to protect you? I have to lose you now?” His eyes were wet and it made me feel even worse, if that was even possible.
“Please don’t make this any harder for me. I feel so horrible already. This isn’t easy for me. I don’t want to hurt you. You have to know that.” I stood up and tried to go to him, but he pulled away from me.
“You don’t want to hurt me? You’re fucking killing me, Vessa. You’re killing me!” He walked back into the bedroom and slammed the door so hard that a duck decoy fell off of a shelf. I covered my face and bawled. I moved here to get away from Gavin and he was still ruining my life. Even divorcing him wasn’t going to change that.
I didn’t know what to do. Ramsey was in the bedroom with a broken heart. I was sitting in the living room, in my underwear, in the same shape. My kids had no idea that any of this was happening. I ran into the bathroom and started projectile vomiting. It was just all
too much to take. These were going to be my last moments with Ramsey and I was too sick to my stomach to even talk to him.
Wishing that Gavin got hit by a car seemed wrong in so many ways, but it would solve all of my problems. That’s for sure.
It sure beat leaving my heart here and moving to a place where I never wanted to go again.
Chapter 19
Ramsey
I wasn’t okay with her decision. There was no way I was just going to let her walk away from what we had, not after everything we’d been through to be together.
I couldn’t believe she had showed up in the middle of the night to break up with me. I realized that technically we weren’t even supposed to be together, but I wasn’t about to let anyone dictate my life, especially when it came to being with Vessa. I wasn’t going to let her douche bag ex keep us apart. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I was going to find a way around this.
When I heard Vessa getting sick in the bathroom, I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. I was hurting, but she was feeling the same thing, maybe even more. I grabbed a small blanket and heading in to check on her.
Her head was laying against the toilet. I wet a rag and handed it to her. “You know, Jules always thought she could drink like her lady friends, but every single party we ever went to, she came home puking her guts up. One time, after a night of puking, she went out and bought me a card, and inside of it, she named me, Dr. Pukey, because I knew how to take care of someone else without throwing up myself.”
She wiped off her face and flushed the toilet. “You don’t have to sit with me. I already know you’re my hero. That’s why I’m so sick over all of this. It’s killing me to walk away from something that feels so right. I never thought that I would ever feel this again. I surely didn’t expect for it to happen so soon, but I wouldn’t change a thing that got us to this point.”
I’d been sitting on the edge of the tub, so she spun around to lay her head between my knees. I ran my hands through her blonde hair. “This can’t be the end, Vessa. It’s not forever. I’ll wait as long as I have to.” I just wanted some form of hope. Anything would be better than the feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach when I thought about never being with her again.
“What if he drags this on until they both turn eighteen? I can’t ask you to wait that long for me, Ramsey. It’s just not fair to either of us.”
“So, you’re just going to give up? You’re going to walk away and not think about me anymore? You think you can really do that?” I clenched my jaw to prevent my emotions from coming out any more than they already were. I knew this was hard for her. “I would never make you choose between me and your kids. I know they are the most important thing. Trust me, I get it.”
“Do you? Do you understand that this is only about them?” She was pleading with me to understand. I understood just fine. I just didn’t want to accept it.
“Of course. I gotta be honest though. I’m not okay with this decision. I’m not alright with you walking out of my life and I don’t know how you’re going to go through with it either. Can you really just walk away?”
She shrugged. “I have to.”
“I have a better idea. Are you feeling better?” This had to work.
“Not really, why?”
I grabbed her hands and got her standing and then I handed my toothbrush and kissed the top of her head. “Get cleaned up and meet me at the pool table.”
As I was walking out, she sniffled and whined, “Sex isn’t going to solve this.”
It was funny how she just assumed that the pool table room meant heated sex. “Just hurry up.”
I was shooting balls around the table when she finally came in. The color was back in her face, but I could tell that she was far from okay. I mostly knew it because I felt the same way. I made a couple more balls before I could swallow the knot that had formed in my throat. I wasn’t going to let her just walk away without a fight. I couldn’t give up.
“What are we doing?”
I walked up closed to her and handed her my pool stick, so that I could grab a quarter. I tossed the coin in the air. “Call it.”
“Heads.”
The coin rolled around the table and finally landed on heads. “Your break, my rack.” I bent down and started grabbing the balls to rack them up.
“You want to play a match, right now?”
“Not just a match. I’m playing for your heart. If you win, I let you walk away. I won’t fight you.”
“And if you win?” She leaned over the table.
I stood up and got the rack straight before looking into her hazel eyes. “If I win, we find another way to be together.”
“How is that fair when I want to be with you too?” She had a point.
“If I were you, I’d try to win. You’re not going to like what I have in mind.” I really didn’t’ have any legitimate ideas. My first thought was to leave town and change all of our names. Maybe I’d watched too many spy movies and it was all just a shitty idea. It seemed better than watching her walk away from me.
“This is ridiculous.”
“Just play your game, Vessa. Best out of five. Call your pockets and remember, we’re playing for everything. You want me to let you go without a fight, than you’re going to have to beat me. I’m just warning you now, when the stakes are high, I don’t lose.” She was crazy if she thought I was going to fuck this up.
Vessa bent down and broke up the balls. One low ball fell. She walked around the table, like any good player would, to look for her run out. What I was making her play for wasn’t exactly right, for several reasons. I wasn’t doing this to be mean. I was doing it to see if we had a chance. From the very first shot, I knew this match was going to tell me everything I needed to know. Vessa was just as good a shot as I was, maybe even better. She knew how to play the game and because of that I knew she would play her hardest as long as the stakes were in her favor. If she loved me enough, she’d throw the match. Then I would have my answer.
She made a few balls and then missed a hard cut shot in the side pocket. I could tell from the reaction on her face that she meant to make it. She cursed under her breath and handed me my stick. I walked around the table, decided what ball I should shoot at first. The trick with playing someone who was as good as Vessa, was to hide her from making a shot if you missed your object ball. It wasn’t as simple as running out a rack. It took a lot of thinking.
I started shooting, making one ball at time. After banking two in a row, I felt like I had the game in the bag. That was until she bent over the table, in just her bra, right at the moment that I took my shot. I missed by at least five inches and broke out a group of her balls that were all clustered together. “Shit!”
She grabbed the stick and bent over to take her shot. “What’s wrong? Did I distract you?”
“I’ll be fine. Next time you try to shark me, don’t think I won’t put my dick up on this table and fuck you up.”
She giggled and made her shot with precise position. Yet another advantage that she had over me was the fact that she could not be distracted. She switched hands and made another ball. “When my dad was teaching me how to play, he used to try and scare me all the time. He said that if I could tune out everything around me, I’d be a better player.”
“I wish I got to meet him.”
“Eight ball, corner pocket.” She bent down and made the shot. “He would have liked you. You’re everything that my parents wanted for me. My dad would have given you run for your money on the table though. He played in a few semi pro events when I was a little girl.”
I started racking the balls, trying not to think about being a game behind her. “Did your mom play?”
She shook her head, but smiled. “No. My mom hated it. I think because my dad loved it so much. He spent a lot of time playing pool, instead of with us. I think she resented the game in general. I know she hated when he taught me how to play.”
She broke the balls up
and made three. I watched her walk around the table in her bra and underwear. She was so sexy, but with the tattoos and her hair all messed up, she was perfect. Since she got a kick out of distracting me, I walked over and pulled her into my arms, kissing her like we weren’t in the middle of a horrible breakup.
Her lips were so soft and puffy. There wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t have done to be able to kiss them every day. Her tongue always matched my movements, which in turn gave me even more reason to want to kiss her. I pulled away, bringing my mouth up to her ear. “It’s taking everything I have in me to not bend you over this table.” I cupped one of her breasts and pulled the fabric of her bra down, before sucking her nipple into my mouth. I got it so wet with my saliva that I took my chin and let my scruffy stubble rub it in. She leaned back and closed her eyes. I kissed her little nipple and then between her breast on more time before covering her back up and backing away.
She licked her lips, while opening her eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair.”
She put the stick against the wall and reached behind her back. “You wanna play like that? I can play your game.” With one tug, she had her bra off and was swinging it around. I wasn’t sure if I should stare at her tits, or close my eyes. She tossed it over towards me and grabbed her stick.
“That’s completely changing the rules of the game. I …holy shit that is so hot, Vessa.” She bent down and started shooting. The stick, my stick, was brushing against her full breast as she stroked. I bit down on my fist and tried to watch the table and not Vessa. She made it and blew me a kiss as she moved on to the next ball.
When she missed, I knew I had to do something. I held up my finger and ran into my bedroom. In the time it took me to find a clean t-shirt to throw over her head, she’d grabbed my gun holster and my hat, put them both on and was leaning against the table. “It’s your shot.”
Hustle Him (Bank Shot Romance #2) Page 16