Her memories of Ben, while they could never be forgotten, had begun to fade until they seemed to fit neatly into a corner of her heart. Now she could safely revisit them without feeling the blinding ache of his loss. Now she could see that she could go on living without Ben Delaney, and while life would never again be perfect, it could still be sweet.
Especially with her three precious babies.
And with the ranger, came the errant thought.
Grace gasped. Had she really come to think of Jed in that way? She shook her head. Of course not. He was her friend, her helper, and of course, a source of constant irritation and amusement. He would never replace Ben in her life or in her heart.
Never.
“Adam, your father would have loved you so much,” she whispered. “You’re not going to meet him in this life, but I intend to love you enough for both of us.”
While the sounds of dishes clanking and men talking drifted under the closed door, Grace shifted the baby to burp him then settled him to finish his feeding. A short while later, he fell asleep, full and satisfied, and she placed him in the center of the feather bed with pillows on all sides to prevent him from falling.
One last look at her sleeping son and she fell to her knees to pray. “Father, I know I’m becoming a real pest, but the ranger says You don’t mind if we talk to You a lot, so here I am again.”
A lone tear gathered at the corner of her eye. She blinked hard, but it fell anyway. Laughter trailed the sound of scraping chairs and shook her already frazzled nerves. She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and swallowed her frustration.
“Lord, You know what’s in my heart. I just don’t know what to pray for anymore. I won’t leave this place Ben and I built, and I can’t give my babies to my father to raise like he raised me and Tom. I don’t want Jed to leave because I will miss him something awful. I don’t know what to tell You to do.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Father, You are a mighty God, and You can work all of this for good. I turn over my family and the ranger and this whole mess to You and ask it in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
A calm descended, lifting Grace to her feet. With a newfound confidence, she opened the door and headed for the kitchen, ready to take on all three men in her life. Unfortunately, she found the kitchen empty, although just outside the door she could hear the laughter of children and the soft, deep voice of her father.
She crept closer to the window and watched in utter amazement as the stern man she knew lifted little Mary to his shoulders and carried her around the porch at a slow gallop. Bennett played the bottom of a copper pot like a drum and sang along with words that made no sense. Ruth stood in the distance holding the picnic hamper and smiling while she spoke in soft tones with Tom.
Things that had once seemed so confusing now seemed crystal clear. She knew exactly what she had to do.
He knew exactly what he had to do. After speaking to the preacher and the judge, and rereading the letter from San Antonio he’d been holding for the past month, Jed’s path seemed crystal clear. He slipped the paper back into his saddlebag and placed his Bible on top of it.
The judge, he decided, was a decent sort, even if he had committed the error of cutting a perfectly wonderful lady out of his life for following her mind and not his. He and his son would take good care of Grace and her children, of that he’d assured Jed. Tom, the brother, seemed a bit more enthusiastic about staying at the landing until it could be sold, but the judge had given his word the Delaney family would receive his finest care and hospitality in New Orleans.
And if you couldn’t trust a judge, whom could you trust?
With Grace Delaney safe in the arms of her family, Jed was released from his promise and free to move on. Surely the Reverend Spivey’s visit had been a sign that the Lord meant for him to be on his way.
After all, he had a long way to go before he felt like he could stand before the Lord and answer for his sins.
Jed cinched the saddlebag and made one last trip to his cabin. His gift to Grace sat just inside the door, and he gave it one last long look. Unhappy with what he saw, he knelt beside the bed he’d made for Adam to make absolutely sure the rails looked straight and the finish was smooth.
The cradle had been made of the finest rosewood scraps he’d seen this side of the Mississippi. Shaw had laughed when he told him how the table had been broken, and Jed had hated that he had been the one whose clumsiness had reduced the once beautiful masterpiece into something less than furniture.
He’d planned for a month how he would take those scraps and build a proper bed for little Adam, and it had taken him the better part of another month to actually build it.
The boy needed a bed in the worst way, so all the time he spent was well worth it. It irked Jed when Grace carried the boy around in a basket that made him look like Moses hiding in the rushes. A boy deserved a proper bed.
He also deserved a man around to teach him how to grow up right. All three of those children did.
Saying good-bye to Bennett and Mary this morning had broken his heart. He’d already decided he’d have to find the time to help with the planting come spring, but another visit before then just might be in order.
After all, the Rangers had put him in charge in Galveston, and he could run the office as he saw fit. He’d just have to look up a few of his more trusted men and hire them on to help. That would free him up for more time to do his preaching and his visiting.
He began to tally a list of potential candidates as he used the back of his sleeve to polish the post to a soft luster. Two or three good men came to mind right off, and he made a note to write to them as soon as he got settled in Galveston.
This decided, he stepped back to give the finished product a critical examination, then frowned when he noticed the side rail on the left looked a bit uneven. Perhaps he should put off his trip to Galveston until tomorrow to give him time to fix it. He could write his letters tonight and send them the first chance he got.
“It would also give you another night to sit and eat pie and pretend you’re not all starry-eyed and foolish over the boy’s mother, too,” he said under his breath, as he spied his hat on the cot and made a grab for it.
“Captain Harte,” the reverend called. “Are you ready?”
No, he longed to say. I’ll never be ready.
“I’m ready,” he answered, wiping a speck of dust off the carved headboard with the tail of his shirt. “Just came back for my hat.”
Chapter 8
Grace stood on the porch and looked to the east, shielding her eyes from the harsh glare of the morning sun. As the ranger rode slowly toward her, she couldn’t help but be reminded of the first time he’d approached her on horseback. She lifted her gaze skyward and gave thanks to the Lord who’d seen fit to bring him back from death. She stepped forward to meet him, stopping at the edge of the clearing.
“I reckon I’ll be leaving,” he said.
“I thought that’s what you were up to.” She shook her head. “You take care now and don’t forget us country folk once you get to the big city.”
“I’ll never forget you, Grace,” he said slowly, his voice as rough as pine bark and his face half hidden beneath the brim of his hat. “Would you mind if I come back for pie and a visit with the young’uns once in a while? At least until you pack up and move to New Orleans.”
She smiled and hoped her sadness didn’t show. “I’d like that a lot, and so would the children.” A gust of north wind tossed her shawl and made her shiver. “But I don’t intend to leave Texas. This is my home, and you’re welcome here whenever the trail leads you to it, Ranger.”
Jed nodded then looked away, trouble etched among the fine lines on his face. “I wish you’d just call me Jed,” he said. “Ranger is what I do, not who I am.” He extended a hand and caught her fingers with his. “I aim to be a lot of things besides just a ranger, Grace.”
The warmth of his fingers surprised her, and so did the softness i
n his face when she stared up at him. “What do you aim to be, Jed?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to earn what the Lord has given me,” he said with a shrug.
“We receive salvation as a gift.” She paused. “It’s something we can never deserve.” She took his flinch to mean she’d reached a nerve. “ ‘For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God,’ ” she continued, the words seared on her heart and their meaning forever impressed on her mind after a night spent in seclusion pouring over God’s Word.
Jed allowed his fingers to slip away from hers and wrapped them around the rein. “Have you spoken to your brother or the judge?”
She shook her head, as much to answer his question as to catch up with his abrupt change in conversation. She’d hidden herself away from her family, claiming ill health, but truthfully, she’d needed the time to face them properly. There were things she needed to discuss with her heavenly Father before she took them up with her earthly one.
“I’ll do that this morning,” she said slowly.
Her answer seemed to satisfy him. He nodded and pressed back the brim of his hat to reveal the bright amber of his eyes and the inky darkness of his hair. She focused on these, the little things about Jed Harte, rather than to see the whole man, the man she would miss desperately. Although the Lord seemed to give her plenty of guidance on how to handle her father and brother, He had been virtually silent on the subject of Ranger Captain Harte. Every time she asked Him to lead her, He sent her to the Bible and the verse she’d just repeated to Jed.
It had been most frustrating.
“Would you mind if we prayed before I go?” Jed asked, gently leading her attention back to him.
“Of course,” she whispered, as she watched him swing a leg over his saddle and land on the hard-packed earth in a single smooth motion.
As the horse protested with a whinny, Jed led the mare to the rail and tied the reins. Grace memorized it all, the length of his arm, the quickness of his hands, and finally, the look on his face when he turned to take both her hands in his. She drew nearer and closed her eyes, assuming he had done the same.
“Father,” Jed began, “bless this fine woman and her family, and hold them in Your loving care. Keep them safe and help Grace to raise those young’uns in Your Word.”
His voice stumbled, and he paused to clear his throat. Grace’s eyes remained shut tight, sealed by tears she refused to allow.
“If it pleases You, give me and the reverend a good ride and a safe passage to Galveston. Always lead me to do Your will and be sure Grace finds the surprise I left for her in the cabin. Amen.”
Grace lifted her head and their eyes met. When he gave her the lopsided smile, she thought she would faint. “Surprise?”
And then he kissed her.
Right there in front of God, the Reverend Spivey, and all of His creatures, he kissed her good and proper on the lips. Well, it was good, if not proper.
“Surprise,” he whispered in a ragged voice. Then, before she could recover, he rode out of her life just as abruptly as he’d ridden into it.
“He’s a fine young man.”
She whirled around to see her father sitting in a rocker on the porch. “Yes, he is,” she answered, still a bit unsteady. Knowing he had witnessed all or part of their kiss made her feel worse.
The judge’s eyes narrowed, making her feel like a child instead of a full-grown woman with three children. She shook off the emotion along with the urge to delay what she knew she had to say.
“Mr. Harte and I had quite a talk last night,” he said, patting the chair next to him.
She squared her shoulders and said a prayer for strength. “I would like to apologize for my lack of hospitality.”
“You felt unwell.” He made a slash through the air with his hand. “Perfectly understandable. I enjoyed the time spent with your children.” His face softened. “Bennett’s a brilliant boy, and Mary is a delight. You’ve done a fine job with them, Gracie.”
“Yes, they…” She looked up in astonishment. “You haven’t called me Gracie since—”
“Since you were a child.” He rose slowly. “I know. Just one of the mistakes I made in raising you.”
“Mistakes?” She shook her head. The Honorable Judge Thomas Beaudry did not make mistakes, at least none he would admit to.
He took a step toward her. “When your mother and little brother died, part of me went with them.” Gripping the porch rail, he looked beyond her rather than at her. “I suppose it might seem like I didn’t care for the two of you, but I can assure you nothing is farther from the truth. Believe me when I say I loved you and your brother more than life itself.”
Grace tried to swallow the lump in her throat but couldn’t quite manage the feat. “I never knew.”
The leaves began to rustle as the north wind danced through them. “I wanted to protect you and keep you to myself, and when I realized I couldn’t…”
His voice faded as he beckoned her to come to him. “I’m so sorry. I was a stupid, stubborn man,” he said, enveloping her in his arms. “Forgive me.”
It took a few minutes, but Grace finally found her voice. “Yes,” she whispered. “Of course.”
Too soon, the judge pulled away and motioned to the rockers. “Sit down, Grace. We’ve got ten years to catch up on.”
They settled beside each other, Grace’s heart still pounding at the feelings coursing through her. “Thank you, Lord,” she whispered, her face turned so her father could not see.
“I suppose you’ll be coming back with Tom and me,” he said casually. “I’d be honored to have you and the children home again.”
“Father, Texas is home now.” She paused. “For my children and for me. Someday I hope Bennett will take over this place and love it like his daddy did.”
“His father was a good man, Gracie,” the judge said slowly. “Another of my regrets is that Ben didn’t live to hear me say so.”
Grace smiled. “Life’s too short to hold any regrets.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he said as he leaned back in the rocker and gripped the arms. For the next few minutes, he told the most amazing story of how Jed had come to him demanding certain conditions for Grace and the children. Before he finished, her father had agreed to all of them. Asking forgiveness, he added, had been the one stipulation the ranger did not demand. That, he stated, would have to come from the judge’s own heart.
“So you see, after I got over the man’s impertinence, I saw the point.” He gave her a sideways look, then reached over to cover her hand with his. “He was right and I was wrong. I just hope someday I’ll earn your forgiveness.”
Grace studied the unfamiliar blue veins and dark spots decorating the back of his familiar hand, then slowly dared a look in his direction. “My forgiveness is something you don’t have to earn, Father. It’s always been there for you.”
This truth, discovered in the wee hours of the morning, had set her free. She’d released her anger for her father to the Lord, and He’d taken it all away, replacing it with love.
Unfortunately, none of the Scriptures helped her to release Jed. All through the winter, even after the judge left for New Orleans while Tom stayed behind to help Shaw run the landing, she felt the ranger’s absence. The children often asked of him, but she refused to allow them the hope he would return as he’d promised. While she rocked Adam in his beautiful cradle, she waited for letters that never arrived and dreamed of a life she would never have.
Then one day, while she was turning the soil for her spring garden, a lone rider approached. Jedadiah Harte had returned. Dirty hands and all, Grace ran toward him, laughing like a child. Jed slid off the horse and met her halfway. “I missed you, Grace,” he said as he wrapped her in his arms. “I’m a poor excuse for a letter writer. Thought I’d tell you in person.”
He smelled of soap, sunshine, and trail dust, a glorious combination. She could only nod before the first tear
fell. When he released her to hold her at arms’ length, he wiped it away with his sleeve.
“How long can you stay?” she asked, unable to think of anything but silly small talk with him staring at her.
“Well, now,” he said slowly. “That’s a good question. The fellows I hired to work the ranger office in Galveston are good hands. Don’t have to worry about that part of things. As for the preaching, it’s something I can do just about anywhere. I’m a right decent carpenter and figured someday to build a church of my own.” He paused and looked unsure of himself for a moment. “I had a mind to ask you if I could stay awhile.”
“Oh?” Her hopes soared. Could he possibly mean what she thought he meant? “How long is ‘awhile’?”
Jed smiled his lopsided smile and her heart began to pound. Her fingers sought his, and when they entwined, she felt a deep peace settle around her. “I bothered the Lord about us all winter, Grace, and He kept sending me to the same verse you quoted the day I left. The one about the Lord’s grace.”
“I didn’t think you were listening.”
“I tried not to.” Jed shook his head. “I have a mind to stay and grow old with you, Grace,” he said softly. “If you’ll have me to wed, that is.”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw two riders approaching. “Jed, who is that?”
He smiled. “The reverend offered his services if I could convince you to say yes. And the other one’s your father. He intends to give away the bride.”
“Is that so?” She stifled a giggle. “Seems like you were pretty sure I’d agree to take you on.”
“I don’t miss,” he said with a grin. A moment later, with the riders fast approaching and her still silent, his grin dissolved and worry crossed his handsome face. “Grace,” he said slowly, “you didn’t answer me.”
“I didn’t, did I?” She allowed another moment of quiet to pass between them before allowing her happiness to show. “Oh yes, I reckon I’ll marry you.”
Texas Brides Collection Page 19