He walked back over and handed me the glass. I didn’t miss the way he looked at my hair, which I hadn’t tried to tame, but he didn’t say anything. His gaze moved to the outfit I was wearing, which was the same as yesterday. I guess he’d forgotten that he grabbed me and brought me straight here after the ceremony. I hadn’t. I’d been up all night, dwelling on nothing but what had happened yesterday and worried about my sister, fearing she’d show up here after I’d only been able to send her one short text before my phone died. It was strange how the small hours of the night could grow so long and monstrous.
I sipped on the drink as Donovan escaped to the other side of the room again, as if I might have some communicable disease he feared.
I made myself comfortable on one of the leather club chairs, without waiting for an invite, while nursing bourbon, hoping it would smooth out the jangle of nerves. The last time I’d been this jumbled up was when I first heard that vampires and werewolves were taking over the world, and we all knew how well that had worked out.
He waved toward my body. “Bigs is picking up some things to hold you over.”
Hold me over, like this was a short sleepover, when we both knew better.
“I’ve got my own things. If you could arrange a ride, I can go grab some stuff from my house.”
He shook his head and crossed his arms. “That won’t work. No one would believe that I cared enough to move you in here and yet let you continue to wear rags.”
“Well, perhaps they’d believe that I made up my own mind and decided to wear what I wanted.” He’d saved me, but if he was going to insult me at every turn, the tank of gratitude was going to empty like he was cruising full speed down the highway in the biggest SUV he could find.
Still, there was still some gratitude gas left, and this couldn’t last forever. He didn’t want me here. He’d find a way out of this for both of us.
He leaned by the window, looking at me like he couldn’t quite figure out how I’d gotten there and who’d been stupid enough to let me in. “I understand how in your case that might be true, but then again, you wouldn’t date a werewolf, now would you? This needs to be believable. We get caught lying to the council and you’re—”
“Dead.” I’d gone over that at least fifty times while I’d lain in bed, not sleeping.
“Considering I saved your ass, you could be a little more agreeable,” he said. “Of course. I should know better than to expect anything else from a human. You people don’t know the meaning of loyalty.”
It was amazing how quick you could burn through gas when you floored the pedal.
“Not just my ass, as you explained. Let’s not pretend you did this out of the goodness of your heart.” I’d gone over that part as well. Over and over. He had saved me, but he had his reasons. If he’d stop insulting me, basically stop being him, I’d fall on my knees and gush with gratitude. I’d even take him putting on a fake show, like he had at the council. But no, I was stuck with the real him, and that made things a bit tough to swallow, unlike his very good bourbon that was going down way too easily.
He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly to me as he took a sip. “This benefits you as well. I’m sorry if you aren’t the type of woman I’d typically be seen with, but we do need to put on a good show.”
I was the one laughing now in spite of the burn, and boy had that burned for no reason I could put my finger on. “Quite all right. I can take a good guess at the women you’re usually seen with, and I’m sure the differences are quite severe.”
People say being kind brings you happiness. Well, if a kindness can fill your heart with warmth, insulting this bastard made my chest feel like it was exploding with the first sunshine after a month of torrential rain.
“Yes, you’re right. The women I date aren’t typically so frigid that they’re on the verge of sobbing during sex.” He refilled his bourbon again.
“I’m sorry. Did that hurt your ego a bit?” I hated him. I hated him like I’d never hated another person in my life. He was every bit the monster I’d thought. Any delusions I might’ve had about his motives were smashed thoroughly and beyond recognition, like a sledgehammer crashing down on a whimsical snow globe.
He walked to the chair facing mine, making himself comfortable, then leaned forward. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to endure me for a little while longer. You’re stuck here until we figure out a way to get rid of Mallard, he loses interest in you, or suitable enough time has passed to cover my friend and you decide to take your chances. In the meantime, if we’re together somewhere in public, you pretend you can’t live without me, because that might be closer to the truth than you’ll want to admit.”
What was there really to say at this point? I didn’t like him, but I couldn’t fault him here. This wasn’t his mess, and his connection had saved my ass. I couldn’t very well turn around and screw that person as well, even if I wanted to kill Donovan.
I downed my glass of bourbon as he watched my lips. I stood, putting my glass down, all too aware of the way my leg brushed his as I passed him, wondering what was wrong with me that even as I hated this man, he made my pulse race.
“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ve heard all I can stomach for the day.”
I walked out before he could stop me.
I went back to the room I’d been given last night, having no idea what else to do with myself. I hadn’t eaten, but hunger wasn’t an issue.
I’d barely shut the door when there was a knock.
Bigs stood in the doorway, hands full of bags from designers I’d never be able to afford myself. Then again, if they hadn’t taken over our country, I’d have been a doctor and buying my own nice clothes.
Bigs had a hesitant smile and waved a hand filled with bags toward the bed.
“Please,” I said, realizing he was looking for an invitation inside my room. Did shifters work like vampires, where they needed an invite? That would be a good thing to know.
“I didn’t realize the threshold-invite thing applied to shifters as well,” I said, fishing for information.
“It doesn’t. I didn’t want to overstep.”
“Oh. Well, you’re not. I appreciate the clothes. Although I really don’t need them. I could go and retrieve my own.”
“Donovan thought it might be better to get you some new things while you’re here.”
So I’d heard. It made me want to throw the bags down the stairs and refuse to wear any of the clothes. One glance at Bigs wiped that idea from my head.
He was laying the outfits out on the bed, fretting over the items as if he were the one who had to wear them to a coming-out party. “I hope you like the things I chose. I’m really not good at picking out women’s clothing. It took me a good few hours to decide, and I’m not sure if I guessed your size right. The lady at the store tried to help me.”
I glanced over. He’d done fairly well. There were some jeans, sweaters that looked soft enough to be cashmere. Slacks, skirts. A few dresses. Basically, a sampling that would cover any function I might find myself at.
“The saleswoman picked out some underthings,” he said, waving to the bag sitting by itself, as his cheeks got a little rosy.
“Thanks. You did a great job. I appreciate it.”
He stood back with a hesitant grin, wiping his hands on his pants and then crossing his arms, as if he weren’t sure what exactly to do with himself. “You’re welcome. Well, if you need anything, let me know. I don’t sleep here, but I’m around most days and evenings.”
“Bigs?” I called before he had a chance to leave. “You know, I’m sorry about the other day…”
“Hmmm?” he said, as if he had no recollection of the moment in front of the store.
“When we met? And you went to help me up? I was a bit hesitant.” That was a huge soft pedal for refusing to take the man’s hand when he was offering help. I’d been an utter ass. No way had he forgotten that.
“It’s all right. I understand.” He
shrugged. “I’m not blind to the way things are and why you’d harbor some ill will.”
“Thanks. Still, I really am sorry.”
He smiled. “Well, I’ll be leaving you to it. If you need anything, just holler.”
“Thanks. Uhm, actually, do you happen to have a phone charger? I need to make a call, and my phone is dead.” If I was going to be stuck for a while, I had to get in touch with Sassy. Even now I feared she’d try to raise the rebellion to come get me.
“Of course. I’ll be right back,” he said, smiling widely, like I’d just asked him to be my best friend forever. Talk about making me feel like the biggest asshole. The guy was genuinely nice. It would’ve been kinder if he’d told me to fuck off.
He returned with the charger and even plugged it into the wall for me.
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t taken the guy’s hand. I’d never felt like a bigger dick in my life. “You know, I really am sorry.”
“It’s all right. I can tell you’re a good person.” His smile was genuine.
Ah, fuck me. I had to stop talking to him. He was killing me, stabbing me over and over again with his niceness.
As soon as he walked out, I plugged in my phone and waited until it got enough juice to power up, which was the longest two minutes of my life, and called Sassy.
“Where the fuck are you? A single text that you’re alive is not reassurance.”
“I’m sorry. My phone died. I just got a charger. Long story, but I’m going to stay with the guy for a little bit. It’s all I can say. I’ll explain more when I see you.” As it was, I was whispering while also trying to listen for people in the hall.
“Is he holding you hostage?”
“No. Not even a little. I can leave whenever I want.” If I wanted to be dead shortly afterward. “I’ll explain more when I see you. But listen, there’s a hundred credits stashed in my boot under my bed.”
“What? Where did you get that?” she nearly yelled.
“Don’t worry about it. Use it to eat while I’m gone, and don’t let Dad get it.”
The seconds ticked by until Sassy had to get it out. “Whoa, so is this like your sugar daddy? Or wait, sugar doggy? No, sugar wolfy?” She began laughing at her own jokes while I wanted to punch her in the arm.
I could hear people walking down the hall outside my door. I wouldn’t put it past them to eavesdrop. They might not even have to get that close with shifter ears. “I gotta go. I’ll call you soon.”
Seventeen
Penelope
I’d taken dinner in my appointed room last night, and then breakfast as well. The thick crown molding was beginning to resemble the bars on a jail cell, and the pillow-top mattress might as well have been a torture rack. My sister wasn’t responding to my texts, because unlike me, she probably wasn’t sitting in a room by herself for hours. I didn’t want to think further on what she might actually be doing. All I knew was that I’d never lived an idle life, and if I sat here any longer, I feared I might start hearing the voices of invisible people.
I opened the door and paused, listening to the sounds of the household. There weren’t that many to adjust to. I made my way down the hall, moving with caution, as I waited for a trap to spring.
Was Donovan home? The idea might send me running back to my room, cell or not. Any interactions beyond the necessary would be a mistake on an epic level, one of the biggies, the kind you thought back on and groaned over your stupidity. He might have saved my life, but that didn’t mean I should trust him. I had a sister running around with the resistance who might also be terminally ill.
Didn’t matter if he’d saved me, or that he looked good and smelled even better. Or that his touch made my insides turn to warm marshmallow. He was like a cookie laced with arsenic, sweet to the taste but deadly. Luckily, his way with words served like a bullhorn, warning me away.
Someone cleared their throat. I turned and saw Bigs in the hall, looking up at me with his hands clasped in front of him. He had a grin that was either welcoming or mocking. Wasn’t sure which.
“You can come downstairs if you want. You don’t have to stay up there all day.”
He must have seen some of my slow exploration. Yeah, that grin was most definitely mocking, or should’ve been if the man had an ounce of humor in his body.
“I took the liberty of picking up something for you. Figured you might need some entertainment.” He walked over to a side table with a drawer, pulling something out as I made my way downstairs. He held the box out to me, a pretty picture of a tablet on it.
“Is this…” He was a shifter, right? One of them. Didn’t he know their laws at all? I was a human. Smart electronics were outlawed for us. Donovan’s house wouldn’t likely be raided, but this could get me shot if I had it anywhere else. I took it without a pause.
“I’m not sure…” Why would I point out that it was illegal for me to use it if he was the one giving it to me? Was I a complete idiot? “Thanks.”
“Of course, I’d perhaps be discreet with it,” Bigs said, smiling and not so clueless. He pointed to the left. “There’s also an extensive book collection here if you want to read.”
I nodded.
He looked around. “Other than that, it’s pretty quiet here. There aren’t many people here during the day. A cleaning crew comes in, straightens up. The cook is here for breakfast and dinner. At night I go home to my house. Marina, my wife, gets testy if I don’t.”
“You don’t live here?” It was only me and Donovan in the house every night? Why did that feel so much more unsettling than having a huge household around?
“No. Well, I’ll leave you be to get situated,” he said with another smile. He seemed to have quite a few of those. I hadn’t seen quite so many since before the takeover.
He walked away to who knew where. The only place I wanted to go was to an outlet. For the first time in years, I had internet.
I didn’t hear Donovan when he first came in. Didn’t realize he was there until he walked past me to the opposite side of the dining table. I should’ve taken a plate to my room, but when the cook went to all that trouble to lay out a grand meal, it felt wrong not to sit and eat it, making as big of a dent in it as I could. It didn’t hurt that it was tenderloin, roasted asparagus, cauliflower mashed potatoes, baked apples—the top hits of my favorite menu like the woman had read my mind. I’d been subsisting on bread and broth for so long that I might’ve shot someone for a meal this good two days ago.
Donovan dropped down into the seat across the table.
“Hi.” I dropped my napkin on top of the tablet beside me, as I tried to pretend he hadn’t spoiled my night. It was his house. He’d saved me, whether or not it had been a byproduct of saving himself. I was eating his food. That meant I needed to forget how rude he was yesterday and make a stab at civility.
“Hello.” His gaze went to the tablet that was hidden, but he made no mention of it. If he had a problem with it, looked as if he was prepared to keep it to himself.
He began piling food onto his plate, as I tried to not stare at how much he was taking. It was his food, even if I’d planned on packing up what was left and trying to get it to my sister tomorrow. It wasn’t right of me to count how many pieces of asparagus he took, or that he’d wiped out half the tenderloin.
And he used the last of the gravy. Seriously? Was he really going to even eat all that? No one could eat that much.
The worst was that I’d have to sit here until he was done and gone before I could sneak the food away. Although maybe I was better off stealing it from the refrigerator later? I could hide it in the back so you’d have to work to see it. Either way, I had to stop watching him wipe out the platters and be happy for whatever was left.
I was looking everywhere but him when he reached for more asparagus and caught my eye. He certainly wasn’t making it easy to ignore.
“Is there something wrong with the asparagus?” he asked.
I met his stare. “No. Why do you ask?�
��
“You’re glaring in its direction.”
“Eye strain,” I said, before thinking that might’ve been the stupidest excuse ever. Why’d I even bother to throw a napkin over the tablet if I was going to admit to reading it all day?
I took a few more bites of food, eating slowly. I’d have to pace myself if I were going to finish after him, since I’d started before.
We sat there for another five minutes in silence, mutually ignoring each other, before the manners my mother taught me finally rammed me in the head one too many times to keep quiet. I was sitting at his table, eating his food—I should at least try to be sociable.
“Did you have a nice day?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what a good day for a werewolf would be. Wasn’t sure if I wanted to know, either. This polite chatter was going to be a lot of work.
“What?” He stopped looking at his phone to stare at me.
“Did you have a nice day?” I repeated, my enunciation a little sharper.
“Yes.” He went back to his meal and his phone, the message loud and clear. Small talk was not necessary or wanted.
I hadn’t even wanted to talk. I’d done it out of obligation, and this was what I got? Not even a question back? Probably better we didn’t discuss how my day had gone. With the edge of the tablet peeking out from under the napkin, the bullhorn was blowing loud enough.
I sat there for another few minutes before deciding it would be better to wait upstairs and sneak back down after he was gone.
He didn’t glance up as I stood. I didn’t bother saying goodbye. I left the room and went upstairs. Seconds after I’d turned on the light in my room, my phone buzzed where I’d left it on my nightstand.
Unknown Contact: We would like to meet. We have things to discuss. We can help you with your problems.
Me: Who are you?
Unknown Contact: We’ll discuss that when we meet.
Me: I don’t meet strangers.
Unknown Contact: Not even to save someone you love?
They knew about Sassy. I could barely type past the tremble in my fingers.
Gut Deep: Torn Worlds Book One Page 10